Down the Rabbit Hole
by QueenBee03
Summary: When a shy, sheltered, naïve Ana unknowingly finds herself at a BDSM club she meets a sexy stranger that will not only change her life; she may just change his.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**A/N: As I'm winding down on CN, I thought I would try my hand at another story. This won't be nearly as long.. maybe five or six chapters. Just trying something new! I hope you enjoy :)**

"ID please" the large bouncer says as he looks me over suspiciously.

"Uh...I... ummm... you see sir I don't... I'm not-" _FUCK! How could I not have remembered the whole ID thing. How old do you have to be to get in here anyway? 21? 18? Whatever, I'm neither of those so what difference does it make. Why didn't I let Kate get me a fake when she got hers! Maybe because you have no use for it. It's not like you do anything besides study anyway._ I roll my eyes at my subconscious and stare at the bouncer in front of me.

"Look honey, you either need to show me some ID or have someone escort you in."

"Escort me in?" I cock my head to the side and raise my eyebrows in question.

"Yeah, so if you don't have someone that can do that, you have to go"

"You don't understand...my friend is in there, and she shouldn't be"

"If she's in there, she's exactly where she should be. And she's in there willingly" he says crossing his arms.

"But you don't understand"

"Excuse me" I turn around to see a man standing right behind me. A gorgeous man in a suit. _Easily the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on. And he was standing close enough for me to smell his cologne. Jesus, what a head trip. And those grey eyes. Wow._ I turn away as I feel the blush creeping on to my cheeks. I feel a shiver run through me and I know it has nothing to do with the weather.

"Can I help you?" the bouncer asks.

"She's with me"

My head snaps towards his and he gives me a look to play it cool and I whip my head back to the bouncer. "That's right. I'm with him" I say pointing at him.

"Is that so? Why weren't you with her when she got here? Little lenient are ya?" He asks Grey Eyes.

"I didn't realize they paid you to question us" Grey Eyes challenges. He's not giving in so Grey Eyes pulls out a wad of cash and hands it to him. "We good?"

The bouncer eyes us back and forth before sighing. "Fine, go in. But I'm radioing security to keep an eye on you. She doesn't look older than 15, pal."

"I'm-" I begin when I feel a hand over my mouth.

"The less you speak the better" he says shooting me a warning look.

I nod and he releases the hand from over my mouth. We walk through the doors and Grey Eyes pulls me to the side. "How old are you and what the fuck are you doing here by yourself!?"

"Hello to you too, I'm Ana" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"Don't be smart. How old are you!?"

"Seventeen" I sigh feeling somewhat ashamed of my age.

He breathes out a sigh of what seems like relief. "Thank God, I thought you were much younger"

"What's it to you?"

"Ana, this is not a safe place for a young girl to be left... unprotected" _He's got a weird look in his eyes but something about it makes me feel safe. Like he's worried about my safety... weird._ _That can't be it, this guy doesn't even know you, Ana_

"Why?" I can tell my eyes are wide. The doe eyed Bambi look, that's what my parents call it. It's the look of wonder and curiosity I get whenever I'm intrigued.

"Jesus girl do you even know where you are?"

"A club in Seattle? My best friend is here somewhere..."

"Are you sure? Is she your age?"

"She's eighteen... but she shouldn't be here"

"Why do you think that?"

"Because! She's caught up with this guy and... I don't think he's very nice to her"

He chuckles. "What makes you say that?"

"Don't laugh! He's so controlling and bossy.. he never lets her do anything. I caught a glimpse of her texts earlier today and he told her to meet him here... and not to forget her collar this time. Collar? Like a dog collar?"

Grey Eyes is staring at me with the same wide eyes I imagine I've had since I walked in. "Did you even bother researching what kind of club this was?"

"No... not really. I googled it to get the address but I didn't really click on anything"

"You're pretty naïve for 17, where do your parents think you are?"

I shrug. "Asleep?"

"This is a BDSM club."

"Like the Rihanna song?"

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard that" Grey Eyes rolls them.

"How much money would you have?"

He looks at me with playful eyes. "You're funny"

I smile back at him. "So what do you do here?"

"You really want to know?"

"Sure" I shrug. "Down the rabbit hole"

"Once you go down there, you can't come back up"

"I have to find Kate. So I'm going in one way or another. Thanks... for getting me in by the way"

He pushes my side bangs from my eyes. "Let's go" he says holding his hand out. "Don't let go of my hand, and do not look anyone in the eye do you understand me?"

I nod. "Yes" We start walking towards a door when I stop him. "Wait.. what's your name?"

He turns around and looks at me. "Christian." He pauses. "You can not address me like that in there"

"Okay... what do I call you?"

"Sir or master"

I gulp. "Why?"

He moves his face so that it's inches from mine. "Because in there you belong to _me_ "

I bite down on my lower lip when I feel his breath against my cheek. "Oh" I say softly as my lips form an O shape. "Yes... sir" _Oh. My._

We walk through the door and I'm immediately hit with the smell of alcohol and sweat. I immediately begin to panic as I'm so far out of my element here and instinctively move closer to Christian. I may not know him well but I certainly know him better than any of these people. I feel an arm around me and breath on my ear. "Relax, everyone is harmless. Just remember what I told you, okay? I won't let anything happen to you"

I nod and feel my heart start to slow when he pulls me towards the bar. "Ummm a rum and coke?"

"Nice try, angel." Christian looks at me with a look and I pout.

"I'm in a sex club under the age of 18 and you're worried about me having a drink?"

"Ah so you do know what kind of place this is"

"Well it's not hard to guess" I say looking around.

"Eyes" he says harshly and I immediately look at him.

"Sorry" I whisper.

He orders a gin and tonic for himself and puts a coke in front of me. "Are you hungry?"

"No"

"Good, the food is shit here anyway." He looks around. "You see your friend?"

"How could I do that? I'm not allowed to look anywhere"

He narrows his eyes before shaking his head. "Touche, smart ass" I roll my eyes and even in the dim light see his eyes darken. "Do not roll your eyes at me"

"You're joking right" I ask.

"It's not polite" he says standing up from the stool so he can tower over me.

"Um. Okay... sorry?" I ask.

He narrows his eyes again but the intense gaze leaves just as fleeting. "Thank you. Now your friend, what's her name?"

"Kate"

"And what does Kate look like?"

"Blonde... slender, long hair, very pretty"

"I see"

"Do you see anyone that fits that description?"

He chuckles. "Only about 20 or 30 women" he says raising an eyebrow. "Objectively of course. Blondes don't really do it for me" he says taking a swig of his drink.

"What does it for you?"

"Brunettes" he smirks. "Petite, feisty as hell brunettes that I can keep in line" he says his face an inch from mine.

I open my mouth to retort but close it when I can't find the words. "The guy's name is Elliott... Grey"

He puts his head in his hands and groans. "You've got to be fucking kidding me"

"What! Do you know him?"

"Yes I know him, that's my idiot brother... fuck. Your friend is his sub"

"Sub?" I ask.

"Submissive"

"Oh"

"He's not mean to her, Ana"

"How would you know?"

"Because I've met Kate a few times. She's very smitten with him. And although he won't admit it, he is as well"

"Does he love her?"

"Dominant Submissive romantic relationships rarely work out, Ana"

"So he's her dominant?"

"Yes"

"And-" my line of questioning is interrupted by a man coming over.

"Grey! It's been a minute, where ya been?"

"Busy, you know?"

"I can see that" the guy chuckles. "Who's your new piece?"

My brows furrow out of fury. _Piece? How dare he say something like that? I ought to say something._ I go to open my mouth when I feel Christian squeezing my hand. _Hard_. My eyes dart to his and he gives me a look daring me to challenge him.

"Someone I'm training... hey do you know where my brother is?"

"Ah in the back room with the blondie. Honestly, I've never seen your brother like this with anyone. He won't even do scenes with her in the viewing room. Private room only. You know your brother gets his kicks in front of an audience but not this girl..." he shrugs. "Shame too, you could bounce a quarter off her ass."

I huff in response. _What a completely sexist chauvinistic thing to say!_ "I see. Well I would hate to interrupt him, we'll be over there" he says pointing to a table in the corner. "When he comes out, send him my way will ya?"

"You got it boss" he salutes.

"By the way... new bouncer? Clearly he doesn't know the rules for VIPs, or who I am for that matter. Take care of that"

"On it"

We move to the corner away from prying eyes. "So people know you here"

"Yes"

"And your brother?"

"Yes, we come here from time to time"

"Together? Kind of weird right?"

"I don't watch his little shows if that's what you're asking"

"Do you have... shows too?"

"No Ana... when I fuck a woman, it's for my eyes only"

I put the straw to my lips, thankful for the refreshing liquid as my mouth has suddenly become dry. "How old are you?" I ask.

"23"

"And your brother?"

"25"

"That's a bit older than Kate... she's in high school!"

"She's 18, relax"

"And it's a school night. Talk about responsible. She's definitely going to fail our chem test tomorrow"

"Are you?" Christian asks me.

"No of course not. I've been preparing for weeks. I usually don't even study the night before a test" I swirl my straw around my drink, thoroughly embarrassed at how nerdy I sound.

"That's good. Do you know where you are going next year?"

"WSU"

"Smart cookie like you didn't want to go bigger?"

"I got into Harvard... MIT, Princeton, Yale, Georgetown... well all the Ivy's but... my dad is... sick. I don't know how much time I have left with him and we're close so I wanted to stay close to home"

"I'm sorry to hear that" he touches my shoulder and squeezes and it sends a jolt of electricity through me. "What is it?"

"Colon cancer, stage three"

"I'm-" he starts.

"Sorry, I know. Can we drop it, I don't want to talk about it"

"Has he... done everything?" he asks thoroughly ignoring my request to end the conversation.

"Yes... and no. My dad hates the doctor he refuses to go unless it's really bad. By the time he went to the doctor... it was the beginning of stage 3. They could have caught it, if he just went earlier. He's just stubborn as a mule" I feel the tears building in the back of my throat but I refuse to cry in front of this stranger. _No way._ I feel arms around me and his chin resting on my head.

"I am sorry, Ana"

"Can we please change the subject now?"

"Look at me" he says and I obey. We're in a dark corner in a booth of this dark club but I can still make out every part of his eyes boring into mine. He licks his lips and my eyes are immediately drawn to them and slowly make their way up to his eyes. "Have you ever been kissed before?" I bite down on my bottom lip and look away shyly. "No don't.. you haven't have you?"

I shake my head slowly. "I kissed Brandon Peters in the second grade at our wedding"

He chuckles. "Well I guess I'm about to kiss someone else's wife"

I gasp. "Shame on you, I'm a happily married woman" I giggle.

I stop laughing when I see the look he's giving me. "You're beautiful"

"So are you" I say and my eyes go wide having heard what I said. "I mean- you're very..."

"Shhh" he says putting a finger over my lips before stroking the bottom lip lightly with his thumb. "Your lips look so soft" He traces over both lips lightly before pushing his thumb slightly into my mouth. I feel his thumb resting on my bottom teeth and I take the plunge and move my tongue to run it over his thumb. It feels rough and smooth at the same time and I relish in the feeling of a part of this man inside of me. I bite down lightly on it and he gives me a wicked glare. "Naughty girl" he says pulling his thumb from my mouth. I barely have a moment to think of what's next when I feel hands on my cheeks framing my face and grey eyes looking into mine. I close my eyes as he begins to move towards my mouth and soon I feel soft, warm lips against mine. _Oh my goddddddd. Is this happening? This is happening. Wait till I tell Kate! Okay, Ana focus. Just let him lead and... oh my God that's his tongue. And it feels warm and he tastes so good and oh my God is this what getting turned on feels like!?_ I shift trying to relieve the tension between my legs as I feel what feels like a fire between them. I wrap my arms around his neck and soon I am being moved to straddle him in this dark secluded booth. He pulls his lips away from mine and attaches them to the space behind my ear, my neck, my chest, any space that's exposed. I moan out my appreciation and it's as if that was a wake up call because he pulls away from my collarbone and looks at me with wide eyes. "Ana" he runs a hand through his hair. "Shit, I'm sorry, I wasn't intending to go that far I just got caught up in..." he blows out a breath. "I never lose control like that"

"Sounds pretty boring"

"Says the girl that's spent her high school career studying on Friday nights"

"That's not true. I usually have dance rehearsals on Friday night thank you very much"

"You're a dancer?"

"Yes"

"What kind?"

"Ballet mostly" I say as I crawl out of his lap. "But I do a little bit of everything"

"I was wondering what was up with the bun" he says pointing to my neat bun at the back of my head.

"I was trying to look older"

"Yeah I don't know how you did it, but you somehow look like a 15 year old and a Sunday school teacher at the same time." He chuckles.

My mouth drops open in offense. "Rude!"

"Take your hair down"

"Make me"

"Don't test me"

I stare at him for a second before pulling my hair from the neat bun I had in from rehearsal. Luckily I didn't have too much hairspray in it or it'd be a rats nest. I reach in my purse and pull out the brush and run it through it a few times before pulling it to rest over one shoulder. "Happy?"

"You have beautiful hair, Ana"

"Thank you" I say.

He stares at me for a second before he looks away and shakes his head. "I should get you home"

"I drove here"

"I'll ride with you, I don't want you driving alone at this hour. My driver will follow us"

"I came here for Kate"

"She's in good hands, my brother is not going to hurt her"

Ana twists her mouth, staring at this man that has drastically changed her life in the span of 45 minutes. "I want to see that for myself"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Can you not argue with me, we need to get you home"

"Why?"

"Because frankly I can't be around you much longer without dragging you to the nearest private room and fucking you senseless. And given that I just gave you your first kiss, something tells me you're a virgin and I'm not that much of a monster to do that to you"

"I don't think you're a monster at all" I say as I rest my hand over his gently and squeeze.

"You don't know me, Ana"

"That's true but... I trust you"

"You shouldn't. You're too good and pure and innocent... I can't taint you with all of this" he says waving a hand around.

"I wouldn't be very good at it I imagine. I'm sure you want someone with more experience"

"Actually I would much enjoy training you"

I look at him. "Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Train me"

"Ana... you don't know what you're asking"

"No... but I do believe in trial and error. I've spent years studying and being what everyone wants me to be. The prima ballerina, the perfect student. I never drink or do drugs or cheat or lie or anything. I want something... different than my boring life. I want something exciting. I want to try it, and if I hate it then whatever. That's the beauty of experimentation"

"You're 17"

"I'll be 18 in two months"

"I'm no good for you, Ana. You should want your first time to be special and with someone you love. I can't take that from you"

"It's not taking it if I give it to you"

"No, Ana"

 _So is this what rejection feels like? This sucks, why does anyone put themselves in this situation?_

"Ana look at me"

"No"

He chuckles. "See you're already defying me" I turn to look at him and I see his eyes soften immediately. "This is not about you, okay? I think you are... beautiful, smart, alluring. I don't want to stay away from you. But I know I should"

"Then don't... stay away from me"

"Ana I-"

"ANA!" I hear Kate's panicked voice moving towards me and I try and put some space between Christian and I.

"What are you..." she looks at me and then at Christian and her eyes widen before dropping them to the floor.

"Bro, what are you doing here?" Elliott says as Christian stands to shake his hand.

"I was coming in to see what they did with the place since I was last here when I ran into this young lady who was looking for Kate"

Christian holds his hand out pointing at me and Elliott raises an eyebrow when he sees that I don't drop my gaze to the ground. "This the famous Ana?"

Kate nods while still looking at the ground. He whispers something in her ear that I cant make out but soon Kate is staring at me and pulling me out of the booth.

"Are you okay? What are you doing here?" she whispers to me.

"I'm fine... Christian-" I start when she looks at me with wide eyes having used his first name. Elliott and Christian are now staring at me too. "Oh for the love of God, relax. No one is even around and no one told you to eavesdrop anyway"

Elliott chuckles. "I like her. Not for this lifestyle, but she's got some serious spunk. Good for you, kid"

"Kid? She's 4 months older than me and I don't even want to know what you did to her in that special back room of yours. If I'm a kid, so is she"

"Ana" Christian growls at her.

"What?"

He pulls me out of earshot of Elliott and Kate. "Watch yourself"

"What... he's not _my_ dom."

"You still need to respect him and me for that matter. 'No one told you to eavesdrop'" he says. "Are you trying to get me to spank you?"

My mouth drops open. "You would... hit me?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "See this is why it would never work."

"Why?"

"You don't understand any of this"

"I'm aware of that"

"It's about respect and control. I have a set of rules you need to abide by. When you break the rules, I punish you. When you obey them, I reward you"

"And you want to punish me now?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Oh, Ana we could go down a whole list of infractions for tonight"

"Sorry" I whisper. "I didn't mean to embarrass you" I look down ashamed that he is so mad at me.

"Hey" he says putting a finger under my chin and lifting it lightly. "You didn't. My brother knows even on his best day, I'm still a better dom than him. Besides I'm not your dom either."

"Do you want to be?"

"You're playing with fire, Ana"

"Will you consider it?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You're an only child aren't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"Seems like you're used to getting your way"

I shrug. "Well aren't you quite the astute one"

"Bro-" Elliott interrupts. "I have to get Kate home, so I'm heading out"

"We were just doing the same"

"Great, you want to meet for a beer after? I want to know how this one came to be in your possession" Elliott laughs.

I bite my bottom lip as my cheeks flush. _His possession? I know I should feel offended but... that sounds so hot._ We walk out of the club and Kate hugs me and tells me we would talk about this in great detail tomorrow. _Can't wait._ We separate from them and walk towards my car.

"What the fuck is this"

I turn around to face him. "What? Wanda?" I ask pointing at my powder blue beetle. "I love this car! And it's a classic"

"It's a deathtrap is what it is"

"Well you don't have to come with me. You're the one who thought I needed a chaperone to drive 25 minutes"

"It's late, I didn't want you driving alone. Heaven forbid this breaks down. Something tells me that's a possibility"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever"

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"What? I... we're not in there anymore" I stomp my foot and put my hand on my hips. Before I can register what's happening he has me pushed up against my car boxing me in.

"I don't care where we are, Ana. Do NOT roll your eyes at me again"

"Or what?" I challenge him.

"I will take you over my knee and spank you"

I clench at his words despite the fact that getting a spanking was not a particularly fun part of my childhood. But something about him saying it ignites a fire within me. "You're not my dom"

He pushes back away from me much to my disappointment as I was hoping he was going to give me another one of those earth moving kisses. "Give me your keys"

"I can drive, I haven't had anything to drink"

"I had one drink, mom. Give. me. your. keys."

At this point, I see a car pull up behind me and eye it curiously. "Who is that?"

"My driver"

"And what I give you my keys and then you take me to some unknown location and you and your buddy chop me into little pieces?"

He narrows his eyes. "You don't trust me?"

"I don't know you"

"You wanted me to take your virginity 20 minutes ago"

I open my mouth before shutting it immediately. "Fine" I huff. "Here" I say handing him my keys. "I'm warning you though, my dad is ex-marine and cancer or not, he'll kill you both" I say before getting in the passenger side but not before seeing what I swear was a smile on his face.

We pull up to my house and he turns the car off before handing me the keys. "Well thank you for a most entertaining evening, Ana"

"Thank you for... keeping me out of trouble in there"

He smiles. "Yes please take care of yourself... and never go back there alone"

"Yes sir" I quip and I'm rewarded with a breathtaking smile. I get out of the car and turn around as he's eyeing me. "Will I see you again?"

"Perhaps"

"When... I mean you don't even have my number or email or..."

"I have ways of getting all of that, Ana" he says before walking back to the car parked behind mine. The car doesn't move so I assume they're waiting for me to go inside. I sigh before quickly slipping back inside and up the stairs to my room where I'm out immediately dreaming of this mysterious gorgeous man with grey eyes.

 **A/N: Should have the next chapter up tomorrow!**


	2. Getting to Know You

**A/N: I'm so overwhelmed by the response to this story! Glad you guys love it**

 **CPOV**

"You've got to be shittin me" Elliott laughs as he raises his shot. "Ana is baby, Christian. Yes, her and Kate are close in age and yes she is very mature in some ways but Kate says she's very clueless when it comes to the opposite sex"

"There's something about her, El" I says rubbing a hand over my mouth. "Maybe it is her innocence"

"No it's the fact that you cream your panties for any pale, pretty brunette"

"I do not"

"Uh hello, denial? Can we please talk about your last 4 submissives?"

"That was a coincidence"

"Yeah bull shit... No Christian, she's too young and she's Kate's best friend"

"So what do you care?"

"I don't"

"Now who's in denial? You're falling for this broad, aren't you?"

"Shut up"

"Holy shit, do you love her?"

"Love doesn't work in this lifestyle"

"So you've said"

"Well... I did talk to a friend of mine from work. Had no idea he was in it till I ran into him at a club outside of Portland... with his wife. He had her collared and on a leash" he shakes his head. "I had no idea. The next day he pulled me aside and told me she was his submissive for a 6 months before they realized they were in love. They continued that in the bedroom but outside of the bedroom they were a regular couple, and they were married within the year. Have three kids now"

"Wow"

"So I guess sometimes it works?"

"Really now." I say and can't help the thought of a pregnant Ana popping into my head. _Fuck! Christian stop it._

 _"_ Shit dude, you should see your face"

I snap out of my thoughts and see Elliott sporting a smug grin. "What?"

He shakes his head. "Just be careful, C"

I down the scotch in front of me. "No you're right.. she's just too young. Well maybe not even young but just _innocent._ It almost feels like.." I trail off and I can feel Elliott's eyes boring into me.

"Dont you even fucking go there, it is not the same. You are nothing like that witch" he spits out.

"It feels like it.."

"You were 15, C and she took advantage of you, I was 14! Had never even seen a set of tits" he rubs his eyes. "She lured us both into that fucking sex dungeon. Still can't believe I didn't see what she was doing to you. I knew her tricks" he shakes his head.

"Will you cut that out? I told you to stop blaming yourself. You always do this when we drink. Get all in your feelings like a little girl, like 'I should have protected you. I'm so sorry'" I mimic in a high pitched voice. "Relax, I don't blame you."

"Had I known I would have... ended her. To think she did to you what she did to me"

"And you thought you were so special" I smirk.

"Fuck off." He barks. "I recall you being just as shocked that we were now a different kind of brothers"

I grimace thinking about the term "Eskimo brothers". "Can you not? I try to block out the fact that we both slept with her. But you're right, she had me so convinced it was just me.."

"At least we both got something out of it."

"She would have done anything to keep our parents from finding out"

"Or the people at the club" he adds.

I nod in agreement recalling the 'hush money' she essentially gave us both to keep quiet. _I never dreamed of telling anyone what happened but Elliott was infuriated when he found out about us and threatened to expose us all until Elena offered us both a check for 100 thousand knowing we both had dreams of starting our own businesses. I never knew if Elliott was so pissed because he was jealous or feeling protective of his little brother. I guess I'll never know for sure._ "You ever talk to her?"

"Fuck no! Do you?"

"She calls every once in a while, but no not after she moved to Florida"

"Just thinking about her pisses me off. Let's talk about something else... like you and little Ana" he nudges me.

"There's nothing to talk about.. we kissed" _And I haven't stopped thinking about it since._

XXXXXXXXXXX

I'm walking through my penthouse apartment and the silence is haunting. _Maybe I should listen to Taylor and hire someone.. like a housekeeper or house manager whatever he calls it. Because all of this space is starting to creep me out. I was elated when this penthouse opened up in this building. It's got the best view and overall beautiful_. I walk up the stairs towards my playroom and open the door. I'm immediately hit with the smell of lemon from the Pledge I used on it earlier. I haven't been in here in about a week but I still like to clean it even when I haven't used it. I run my hand along the flogger and close my eyes picturing Ana's ass turning a delicious shade of pink. My eyes pop open and I scratch my stubble willing the vision away. _No Christian_.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I see that Welch has sent over the information I requested on Ana.

ANASTASIA ROSE STEELE

 **DOB** : December 10, 1999 Montesano, WA

 **Address** : 1114 SW Green Street Seattle, WA 98888

 **Mobile No** : 360-959-4352

 **Email address** : AnaRSteele

 **Social Security No** : 987-65-4320

 **Bank** : Wells Fargo Bank, Vancouver, WA

 **Acct. No**.: 309361 $1846.04 balance

 **Occupation** : BDA (Ballet Dance Academy) Associate Instructor

 **Education** : Montesano Sr. High School

 **Early Admission Acceptance:**

Harvard University

Yale University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Stanford University

Washington State University

Princeton University

Georgetown University

 **GPA** : 4.26

 **SAT Score:** 2150

 **Father** : Franklin A. Lambert, DOB: Sept. 1, 1969,

Deceased December 11, 1999

 **Mother** : Carla May Wilks Adams DOB: July 18, 1970

m. Frank Lambert March 1, 2000

widowed December. 11, 2000

m. Raymond Steele June 6, 2001

 **Political Affiliations:** None Found

 **Religious Affiliations:** None Found

 **Sexual Orientation:** Not Known

 **Relationships** : None Indicated at Present

I frown when I see that she's already lost her father. It must be her stepfather that's sick. But the frown is replaced when I see all of the schools probably fighting to get her to come to their school. And that GPA. _Wow. My girl is brilliant. Your girl? Christian get a grip._ My fingers are itching to text her, call her, email her.. but it's 3 in the morning.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I sit at my desk at GEH unable to get my mind off of anything but the bright blue eyes that filled my dreams last night. A night of sleep with no nightmares.. can it all be attributed to her? I decide to grow a pair and shoot her an email.

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Chemistry**

 **Date: October 21, 2016 10:45:32**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

Good morning, Anastasia. I trust your chemistry exam went well. I've given some thought to your question on whether we would see each other again. I think it's a good idea, so I was wondering if you would join me for dinner tonight? If you can pry yourself away from your studies and the ballet barre?

Ps. Anastasia, huh? I like that

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.**

I'm delighted when I have an almost immediate reply

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Re: Chemistry Indeed**

 **Date: October 21, 2016 10:48:30**

 **To: Christian Grey**

Well hello, stranger! The exam was a breeze. I'm glad that you've come to your senses and have found that not seeing each other would be a shame. Unfortunately, weeknights are pretty tough for me. I have rehearsals or work every night except Mondays. Unless you'd be free tomorrow after 9? On Wednesdays my last class ends at 8:30. Would just need to figure out something to tell my parents...

Ps. Only my parents call me Anastasia when I'm in trouble... but something tells me you'll be calling me that a lot in the future ;)

 **Ana**

 **Not A CEO, and it's pretty cool that you are at only 23**

I am unable to stop the slow smile moving onto my lips as I quickly email her back.

 **From: Christian Grey**

 **Subject: Re: Chemistry Indeed**

 **Date: October 21,2016 10:49:56**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

I'm glad to hear about your test. You certainly are a busy bee for only 17. Do you ever have any fun? It's a foreign concept to me as well, but I remember most people in high school having a lot of it. I would hate for you to lie to your parents about your whereabouts as I recall you saying you don't usually do that... perhaps Monday then? As much as I don't want to wait that long, I wouldn't want to have you out too late on a school night.

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO, and it's not all it's cracked up to be, but it pleases me that it impresses you**

I'm sitting at my desk a few hours later when there's a ping in my inbox. My eyes light up when I see the name.

 **From: Anastasia Steele**

 **Subject: Re: Foreign Concepts?**

 **Date: October 21,2016 1:30:31**

 **To: Christian Grey**

A foreign concept to you too? You didn't have fun in high school? Head in the books as well? What's your excuse? As far as what to tell my parents, it would be worth telling a little fib to see you again. I'll let you know :)

PS I am not easily impressed

 **Ana**

I close the email without answering her questions. _Why didn't I have fun in high school? Because Elena wouldn't let me? Who's Elena, you ask? Oh just my mother's best friend that seduced myself and my brother at different times? Fuck. Hopefully I never have to taint her with that bullshit._

APOV

I'm staring up at this huge building in front of me and look back down at the address on my phone under the words "Arrived at Destination." _Holy shit, he owns this whole building? Well, in you go Ana.. you didn't play hooky from practice and work to just stand out here all day_. The thought of lying to her parents didn't exactly appeal to her so she lied to her dance team instead. A few coughs and a perfectly timed sneeze was all she needed to get out of three hours of practice and two hours of work. At least she could be home around the same time and her parents would be none the wiser. She walks through the front doors and immediately feels inadequate as she takes in her surroundings. She was wearing her most appealing sweater dress with tights and heeled booties under a leather jacket but she felt out of place in the sea of sky high Louboutins and Chanel suits. She approaches the concierge on the main floor and bites her lip nervously.

"Hi.. I'm here to see Christian Grey"

"Of course you are dear, do you have an appointment?" The security eyes me.

"Um.. no. I mean.. yes?"

"Nice try, but if you don't have an appointment I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

"But.. I think he'd really like to see me. Can you just call up there?"

"Mr. Grey is a very busy man, you don't just call up there" he says as he looks down at me over his glasses.

"Fine" I roll my eyes. "I'll shoot him an email" I sit on a couch and shoot him an email and within seconds my phone is vibrating in my hands.

"Hello?" I answer nervously even though I know who it is

"What do you mean you're here?"

"I.. wanted to surprise you. Since dinner would be a little late I blew off practice" There's silence on the end of the line and I begin to panic. "I'm sorry, I should have called.. I'm sure you're busy. I just thought you'd be wrapping up for the day right around now, I should have known-"

"Taylor is on his way down to collect you" he interrupts.

"Who's Taylor?"

"My driver"

"Does he know what I look like? I don't know what he looks like.. how will he find me?"

"Oh he'll find you. You're hard to miss in that plum colored dress"

I gasp and look around. "You can see me?"

"I can. And you look beautiful"

I try to hide my blush although I know his cameras couldn't possibly see that well. "Thank you"

"Miss Steele?" I look up to see a tall man staring down at me.

"I think Taylor is here, I'll see you in a second" I say before hanging up. "Are you Taylor?"

"Yes ma'am" he nods as I begin to follow him through the lobby.

"Oh ma'am isn't necessary. Please call me Ana"

"Okay, Ana" he smiles slightly.

I'm whisked up the elevator to the 17th floor and when we open it there's a woman waiting in front of the elevator.

"Hello Miss Steele. Can I take your coat? Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Water?"

My eyes widen. "Umm sure." I pull off my coat and hand it to her. "Nothing to drink, thank you"

"Follow me please"

"Okay"

I follow her through the lobby and through a large set of doors and smile when I see Christian sitting at his desk. His eyes immediately dart up and he smiles wildly. Before I can even say anything he's out of his chair and I'm in his arms.

"I can't believe you played hooky from practice. Bad girl" he whispers in my ear as I feel his nose trace the side of my face. I'm wondering if he's going to kiss me again, but he merely kisses my forehead and backs away motioning to come to the couch.

"My friend is covering my class and we don't have any competitions coming up so it's just two hours of floor routines, barre exercises and practicing our form" I say rolling my eyes. "They can miss me for one day"

"How lucky for me" he says as he holds my hands with his. He strokes my hands with his thumbs and I can't stop the shiver that moves through me. "Cold?"

I shake my head no and nervously tuck a hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry I didn't call first"

"Don't be, it is a wonderful surprise. And I love that your hair is down" he says running his hands through it.

"I thought you would like it"

"I do. Anyway, as much as I would love to blow off the rest of the day I have a conference call at 4:30... do you think you can bear with me until 5?"

"Oh, I can go, do you want me to go?"

"No" he says commanding. "I want you here"

"Okay" I say softly.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

I shake my head. "I can wait for you"

"Great, I shouldn't be long. Be thinking about what you'd like" He sits back in his chair and shoots me a wink. He starts his call and I take the opportunity to walk around his office. I'm in awe at the view from his window. _How does he get anything done_? _I'd be staring out these all day_! I walk away from the windows and see a line of paintings and smile. _How extraordinary_. _I'm almost scared to touch anything in here, it's so clean_. I turn around and see the smoldering look he's giving me and my eyes widen. He's out of the chair and moving towards me and the way he's stalking towards me I almost want to run. He puts a finger to his lips to make sure I'm quiet before he traces a finger over my face. He spins me around to face the paintings and his lips are on my neck in an instant. I moan at the contact and slap a hand over my mouth hoping I wasn't too loud. I hear him chuckle before I feel that wet warm muscle moving over my pulse point and his teeth nibbling. "You taste delicious" he murmurs.

My eyes widen and slightly turn and motion to the phone his mouth never making contact with my neck. "I'm on mute"

I nod and I feel him start to suck and I wonder if this is how hickeys are formed. _I think so.. right?_ I whimper at the loss of contact and my eyes fly open when I hear him shout.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

I jump and he mouths the word sorry to me. I try to calm my racing heart as he walks back to his desk and smiles at me sheepishly. _I wonder if he would appreciate if I did the same thing? I'm sure he wouldn't be opposed to having me in his lap_. My thoughts are interrupted by what seems like him ending the call. "I'm sorry for yelling" he says as he sits next to me. "You ready to go?"

"If you can?"

"Yes, I had my assistant cancel the rest of the day"

"Hopefully nothing too important?"

"Nothing _more_ important" he looks at me and rubs a hand over my cheek. "Beautiful girl" he whispers before pulling me to my feet.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We arrive at a restaurant across town and are whisked into a private room.

"There's no one else in here" I say as I look around.

"How observant" he jokes.

"Why?... are you ashamed of me?"

His eyes widen. "No of course not! How could you ask me something like that? I just... I'm in the news quite often and if we are photographed together... you're 17, Ana. That makes things a little bit complicated."

I nod. "Of course. I wasn't thinking... we could have gone... somewhere more private if you'd like?"

He raises an eyebrow at me. "You're going to be the death of me, woman"

I avoid his intense gaze and take a sip of my water. "So... what... what is this exactly?"

"It's dinner"

"I mean does it mean you want me as your submissive?"

"No, Anastasia. It doesn't"

"Oh"

"I don't date my submissives, Ana"

"Is this a date?"

"Well, we are sharing a meal at the end of the day. Some people would call this a date"

"Aren't you cheeky" I giggle.

His eyes dance playfully and it makes me giddy. "I love that sound"

"What?"

"Your giggle"

The rest of dinner went by too fast, with us talking about everything and seemingly nothing at the same time and soon we were back in his car driving me back to my car at GEH. He raises the privacy screen to separate us from Taylor and my heart begins to race.

"Ana" he whispers in the dark. "Come here"

I gulp and make my way closer to him and into his lap and feel his arms tighten around me. "Yes?" I ask and within a second his mouth finds mine. The taste of the cider he ordered and the crème brulee making for a heady mix. His tongue gently nudges my mouth open and I gladly grant him the access. _God why'd we even go to dinner? I would have been content doing this for four hours._ He nibbles at my bottom lip before touching the tip of my tongue with his drawing mine into his mouth. _Wow this man can kiss. Not that I have a ton of experience- or any. But this is good stuff. Damn, I never want to come up for air._

He pulls away from me and I feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen and find myself trying to get air into my lungs and calm my heartbeat. "You're a great kisser"

"Am I?" I say my eyes widening. "That's good"

He chuckles. "I'm normally not in the business of handing out compliments, but I thought you would like to know." He pauses. "For research purposes"

"I appreciate your dedication to the scientific method" I giggle.

"When can I see you again?"

I groan. "I don't know. I can't skip practice again... maybe this weekend?"

"I look forward to it"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's been a few weeks since our first date and I can't get enough of the enigma that is Christian Grey. We've gone out a few more times but with my busy schedule and having to tell my parents where I am most of the time, it's been difficult to spend any real time together. But that's changing this weekend. A friend of mine is throwing a party and I'm "going" and then "sleeping over at Kate's." Yes that's a serious lie where everything else I've done have technically been lies of omission but I'm in desperate need of more than a few hours here and there alone with Christian. And tonight, I get the WHOLE night. I can barely contain my excitement. I'm not sure what the night will hold as Christian has been keeping me at arms length with the exception of a few semi handsy makeout sessions. He felt my boobs over my clothes and I definitely felt his man business as he ground me into him the last time we made out in his office. I'm not sure what exactly he's waiting for... my eighteenth? Till I graduate? Till we're married? I giggle to myself at the last one, as if he'd want to marry mousy little Anastasia Steele. I scoff at my sub conscious. Christian doesn't see me as mousy at all, he sees me as a goddess. His words. Either way, I had Kate take me to get my first wax of _everything_. Just in case, yaknow? I just finished curling my hair when my mom appears at the door.

"Hi Ma"

She crosses her arms and smiles at me from the doorjam. "You look pretty. A lot of effort for this party tonight?"

"Just want to look nice"

"It seems you've been wanting to look nice a bit more often than usual lately?"

I shrug. "Just tired of the jeans and sweaters."

"And the ballet buns?"

"It was pulling my hair out"

"Uh huh" she smiles. "What's his name?" She says.

"Who?"

"The boy you're seeing?"

"I'm not seeing any boy" I exclaim.

"Oh don't start! You've been basically singing and dancing around the house the last few weeks. And I think there's a boy putting a little pep in your step" she giggles. "Is he going to be there tonight?"

"Mom there's no boy!"

"Okay... would you like there to be a boy? Maybe one you're interested in?"

"Mom there's no boy... I'm going to my friends birthday and then sleeping at Kate's."

"Well if there is a boy, I just... I would hope you would tell me. Because I'm always on your side, honey. And I would love to meet him"

"I know but... there's nothing to tell" I smile.

"Okay" she shrugs. "Well have fun, just text me when you get to Kate's later okay?"

I nod as she walks away. I guess that's a perk of being the perfect child growing up. The straight A student, never been in trouble, or really done anything wrong. Your parents take things for face value. I have friends that had to sell their soul to their siblings to cover for them to go to this party. Even Kate told her parents she was sleeping at my house and didn't even mention a party. My parents are just thrilled I'm not spending Saturday night with Thomas Hardy or Jane Austen. There's no worry about me drinking or doing drugs or having sex. If there was a boy my parents probably assume all we've done is hold hands. If only they knew. I open my purse and see the stash of condoms Kate got for me and feel my palms start to sweat. I'm sure Christian has his own condoms, but be prepared always, right? I grab my bag and make my way over to Jenna Tallworth's house, the girl throwing the party. I park on the street and can hear the music from the outside.

"Ana!" Jenna cheers. "Drink?"

"No.. no thank you" Christian would probably put me over his knee if I had any alcohol. I smile to myself thinking maybe I should test him.

"Oh come on, Ana. One drink?" My best friend appears next to me and smiles.

"No. And I'm sure Master Grey would not be too thrilled at you consuming alcohol either" I whisper in her ear and she laughs.

"Oh please, Master Grey is allowing his submissive to top from the bottom if you know what I mean"

I laugh and nod my head yes before letting my smile falter. "No.. I don't know what that means"

"It means I basically have the control"

"Oh?"

"I think he loves me."

"Really?"

"I'm not sure... but I think so"

"Why? How do you know?"

"Little things... it's hard to explain. We hardly make love anywhere but his bed now, and it's just so... intense and he says love a lot. 'I love this about you... I love doing this... I love our sex life... I love love love. He just hasn't said 'I love you' yet."

"Aw! That's adorable. Do you love him?"

She takes a sip of her drink and nods. "Yes"

"Oh my gosh!"

"Now we just gotta work on you and the other Grey. Elliott says he is quite into you"

I bite my bottom lip and blush. "The feeling is mutual"

"You going to give it up to him tonight?"

"I don't know... he may not... want to"

"Please that man is walking around in a permanent state of blue balls."

I blanch. "I hope not, I hear that's painful"

An hour into the party, I get the text I've been waiting patiently for.

 **Hi pretty girl, are you ready for me to come get you?**

 _ **Yes please!**_

 **Haha anxious are we?**

 _ **Yes, I'm ready! I see these clowns everyday, I want to be with you. And they keep trying to get me to drink.**_

 **Have you had any alcohol?  
**

 _ **No.. I didn't think you'd like it. Besides I want to remember everything from tonight :)**_

 **Good girl. I am proud of you.**

 _ **Thank you, sir**_

 **I just don't want to take you away from your friends... I know what it's like to have someone alienate you from people in your life, I don't want to do that to you. I already feel like I eat up all of your free time.**

 ** _I don't understand... don't you want to spend time with me?_ **

**Of course I do, baby. More than anything**

 ** _Then come get me!_ **

I'm outside waiting for Christian when I feel an arm around my shoulder attempting to warm me up. "Oh hey Jose" I say trying to get out of his grip.

"You cold? What are you doing out here anyway?"

"Oh just waiting for my friend to pick me up"

"Friend? What friend? All of our friends are here"

"He doesn't go to our school"

"He?" Jose looks at me with wide eyes. "Is it your boyfriend?"

"Jose..." I start.

"I didn't realize you were seeing anyone, you've never mentioned him"

"There's nothing to mention" I say hoping that he gets the point that this is not up for discussion.

"Ana... damn. I should have said something sooner"

"About what?"

"I just don't know when I'll ever have the courage to do this"

"Do what?" I ask with wide eyes unsure I like where this is going.

"Ana"

"Um yes?"

"I like you?"

"Huh?" I stare at him.

"I like you.. a lot"

"You're joking"

"No.. I've always liked you and I was hoping you'd want to go to winter formal with me?"

"Jose I- that's very nice but-"

He wraps his arms around my back and pushes himself closer to me. "Ana, please"

"No.. Jose.. stop!" I am trying to push him off of me but his lips are getting closer and closer to mine when I feel him being ripped from me. I feel his presence before I even realize it's him as he's wearing a hat pulled low over his eyes and is dressed way down from the suit and tie I'm used to.

He steps in front of me and shoots Jose a look that could kill. "I think the lady said stop"

"Dude what's it to you"

"What's it to me, is you were trying to force yourself on her. And she belongs to _me._ And I don't take too kindly with anyone messing with what is mine" he barks at him. "Now get the hell out of my sight before I beat your drunken face in and then call the cops on you for underage drinking."

He scurries away back into the house leaving me and Christian who still hasn't looked at me yet. I move so that I'm standing in front of him. "Let's go Anastasia" he says moving towards his car without so much as a glance or touch in my direction. I put my bag in the back and climb into the front seat and can now see how unbelievably sexy he looks with his hat and stubble.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Do you want that guy?"

"Jose?" I ask with wide eyes. "No! You heard me telling him to stop"

"If you want him, tell me"

"No, I don't! And you're pissing me off, acting like I've done something wrong. I want you, asshole"

"Don't swear at me"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever" I mutter.

"I saw that"

"Well you shouldn't have. Keep your eyes on the goddamn road"

"Are you trying to piss me off? I just had to watch some guy maul you, excuse me for not being pleasant"

"And then blamed me for it!"

"I'm not blaming you, I just... never mind you wouldn't understand"

"Understand what? That you think I'm lying to you? Dating other guys at school? You were my first kiss ever and now you just think they're lining up at my locker for me to make out with? Come on, Christian"

"I just don't want to deprive you of any experiences, that's all."

"I'm not being deprived of anything" I say as I turn in my seat to look at him. "Just you"

He pulls into the Escala parking garage and turns the car off, bringing my hands to his lips. "Promise me, you'll hear what I have to say in it's entirety"

"Of course"

"Before you run from me?"

"Why would I run?" I ask. "Oh my God, are you married?"

"No Anastasia, I'm not"

"Engaged?"

"No"

"Gay?"

"NO!"

"Okay okay, keep your hair on" I say before he gets out to open the car for me and leads me to the elevator. We get to the penthouse and after I shoot my mother a quick text I'm in awe as I finally look around. "Wow, your place is beautiful"

"Thank you. I need to redecorate or do something but... I haven't had any desire to"

"I could help you... if you want" I start and immediately regret it. _Stop sounding like a clingy girlfriend Ana. What happens when you guys break up, he's not going to want to be stuck with all the shit you picked out._

He smiles at me. "I would love that." He pauses. "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"No... I want to know why you think I would run from you"

"Hungry for knowledge, huh?"

"Stop stalling"

"Okay. Sit"

I obey and he sits on the coffee table in front of me so we are facing each other. "Do you trust me?"

I nod. "Yes"

"Do you think I would ever hurt you?"

I shake my head no. "No"

"Can I trust you?"

"Yes!" I say quickly. "You think you can't?"

"No.. I think I can. I just wanted to see if you thought I could. Everyone that I've had this conversation with has signed an NDA"

"What's that?"

"A non disclosure agreement meaning you can't discuss what I'm about to tell you with anyone"

"I would never share anything about us with anyone"

"Not Kate"

I shake my head. "I wouldn't. I mean.. she knows we've kissed. Is that okay?"

He chuckles. "Yes, that's fine and if you and I were to ever be intimate I wouldn't care if you told her that, but I would hope you'd keep some of the more private details just that- private"

 _If? Oh Grey you're killing me. Can't you just have your wicked way with me now?_ "Would it make you feel better if I signed?"

"No I don't have anything drawn up and I want us to talk about this now"

"Okay"

"Would you like a drink?"

My eyes widen. "Like alcohol?"

"Yes"

"No thank you"

He chuckles. "I just need you to be honest with me about what you're feeling"

"I don't need alcohol to do that"

He rubs my cheek and smiles. "You fascinate me, Anastasia. I've never met anyone like you"

I furrow my brows together. "Is that a good thing?" I ask.

"Yes Ana, it's a very good thing" he shoots me that breathtaking smile and it makes my heart skip a beat. His smile fades and he gets very serious. "Ana there's a reason why I asked if you were interested in him... why I'm so careful about not taking you away from your friends or opportunities to be... young. You are young and naïve and... I don't want to age you for lack of a better term by putting you in a situation that you just aren't ready for. I want you to go to dances and football games and prom and hangout with your friends at the mall"

"I don't have time for those things anyway.. well dances and prom I will do. But I don't have time to hangout with anyone" I say.

"You've made time for me"

"That's different"

"How?"

"You're my- I mean... we're... well I don't know what we are" I bite down on my lip. "Are you my boyfriend?"

"Ana" he puts his hands on my shoulders. "You spending all of your free time with me may alienate you from your friends, your family... your job. You've called out of work three times since we've started spending time together"

"Because I don't have time for it all!"

"So you're already giving up things for me"

"Isn't that what being in a relationship is all about? Sacrifice?"

He swallows and puts his hand over his eyes and I begin to panic wondering if this was his way of ending it with me. Whatever exactly _it_ even was. "When I was 15, my mothers best friend seduced me."

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. "What?"

"I was having a lot of trouble in school. Drinking a lot, drugs, fighting everyday, I was failing almost every subject. I was smart, but I just didn't care. I was such an angry little shit. I didn't have any friends, people were afraid of me. And I had these terrible touch issues. Still do, though they aren't as bad. But it's why I don't like you touching my chest when we kiss. It unnerves me if your hands are free"

"I-I haven't noticed"

"I usually grab your hands before you realize it"

"Anyway my older brother had helped out with some yardwork for her- Elena, that's her name, on and off for 4 years but he joined football his senior year so he didn't really have the time anymore for it. So my mother sent me there to help out as like punishment. She had my mother so brainwashed, she had her convinced that discipline and hard work was what I needed. I was 15 the first time I had sex with her. The first time I had sex period"

I gasp putting a hand over my mouth. "But you were- that's..."

"Yes I know. I've since seen a therapist to show me the error of all the fucking ways" He rolls his eyes. "But at the time I thought she was helping me. I stopped drinking, my grades improved, I stopped fighting... but in the meantime, I spent all of my free time with her. She owned my life, she is who introduced me to BDSM. She was my dominant and I was her submissive. I couldn't do anything without asking her. I couldn't go to dances, or parties, I couldn't date. When I went to college, she would fly out there on a whim to see what I was doing or make me come home on the weekends"

"Wait- how long did this go on?" I ask

"Until I quit school. I left Harvard after one year and came home." I sigh. "I was 19 and when I got home she began training me to become a dom. She was my submissive and one night we were... engaged in intercourse when my brother walked in and caught us. That's the night I found out that she had done the same thing to him when he was 14 up until right around the time she started fooling around with me"

"Oh my god"

"Yeah, my brother flipped the fuck out. It was one thing that she did it to him but he couldn't stand the thought that she had done it to his baby brother." I sit in silence as willing him to continue. "He was so pissed that he threatened to tell our parents and everyone. She was very well known in the community it would have ruined her. So she played the one card she had. _Money._ She knew we both had great drive and ambition and wanted to start our own companies so she gave us both 100 grand as restitution I guess and we were both able to start our own businesses. After we both became successful, we both gave it back to her because we didn't want anything from her except to be out of our lives. She moved to Florida shortly after that."

"Wow. Do you still have any contact with her?"

"No"

"Good. Mrs. Fucking Robinson"

"Cute" he chuckles.

"It's not funny"

"You're right its not. But it's cute that you're so pissed"

"You were so young! She took advantage of you!" I exclaim.

He's silent for a second before looking up at me with sad grey eyes. "Isn't that what I'm doing to you?"

"Nnnoo.." I stutter. "Of course not"

"I couldn't see it either at the time. I thought she cared about me. I thought I cared about her. She manipulated me. And I worry I'm doing that to you"

"You're not! You were 15, I'm almost 18-"

"You might be almost 18 but I saw more in my 15 years then you'll probably ever see, baby. You're sheltered and naïve and it's NOT a bad thing. I just don't want to hurt you"

"You... won't. You couldn't hurt me. You care about me"

"That's why I'm talking to you about this"

"It sounds like you're leaving me" I say quietly.

"I just want you to understand my apprehension to all of this. Why I haven't fucked you within an inch of your life. Why we haven't gone past kissing. Why we may never go past kissing"

"Never?"

"Ana..." he starts.

"I'm going to have to lose my virginity at some point. Is that what all this is about? You mean if I was some whore that gave it up to anyone, you'd want to stay with me?"

"No not at all, Ana. Your innocence is what draws me to you"

"Then what is all of this, Christian?"

"I don't know! FUCK" he growls as he stands up running a hand through his hair. "I just don't want to be... her. I don't want to be the Elena in your life"

 **A/N: I'm already at 7k words and this night is not over so I'm just going to make it 2 chapters! Part 2 will be out tomorrow ;)**


	3. I Already Don't Want To Let You Go

I follow him across the room and put my hand on his shoulder. "Look at me" I tell him as his back is turned.

He listens and now his sad grey orbs are boring into me. "I don't think you could ever be... her" I bite down on my bottom lip and look away nervously. "I think... it's different... with me" I look down feeling utterly pathetic. "Maybe I am being naïve. Do you want me to go?"

He sighs and sits down at the piano bench, pulling me to stand between his legs. "Just because I should let you go, doesn't mean I want to. I'm not that selfless" I blush at his words and he smiles. "I don't know how you do it but you make blushing look so damn sexy"

I put my hands over my cheeks to cool them. "Stop that"

"Stop what?"

"Dazzling me"

"I dazzle you?" His eyes dance playfully.

"Don't do that, you know you do" I tease him and I'm rewarded with his strong firm hands wrapped around my waist pulling me towards him.

"Is that so?"

I nod once before his lips find mine and we become engrossed in a heated lip lock that is sending an electric current through my entire body. I try to be mindful about his chest as he hasn't grabbed my hands and I thread them through his curly hair. I gasp when his cool hands make their way under my shirt and begin caressing my back gently and I can feel him smiling against my mouth.

I pull away from him and his eyes are full of lust as I take the lead by pulling him back to the couch. It doesn't take long before I'm straddling him again and our lips are attached. I grind myself down on him and he groans. I start to feel something poking upwards and I giggle inwardly. He pulls back from me and I look at him questioningly. "I'm sorry baby, I'm stopping" he whispers.

I bite my bottom lip. "Did I do something?"

"No.. you're doing all the right things" he chuckles. "I'm just... let me do the right thing here, please?"

"Which is...?"

"I don't know yet. But I don't know how to take your virginity without feeling like the worst guy in the world"

"Well maybe..." I search the air for answers, divine intervention... something. "Maybe you don't have to take my virginity... technically" He narrows his eyes at me in question. "We could do other things?" He laughs heartily and a part of me feels a bit hurt which is evident on my face. "You didn't have to laugh at me" I say as I begin to move off of his lap.

He grabs me and holds me in place. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh."

"Forget I said anything" I say trying to keep the tears from forming in my eyes.

"Ana" he says grabbing my face to look at him. "I didn't mean it like that. I would love to do all of that with you" he kisses along my jaw line and it soothes my bruised ego a little.

"I know I wouldn't be very good at it..." I trail off.

"I am sure that is untrue. I would probably come within 30 seconds of you touching me"

"That quick?" I ask my eyes widening. "Cosmo says... that's not a good thing" I recall an article about guys that get excited a bit too quickly.

"You have that much of an effect on me, Anastasia. I've come thinking about you more times than I care to admit"

My eyes widen. "Oh" my lips form an O shape. "I've wanted to do the same but... I don't know I've never done... that before"

"You've never masterbated?" he asks me with wide eyes.

I shake my head back and forth. "No, is that weird?"

"Nothing about you is weird, Anastasia. You're incredibly intriguing. But back to this never touching yourself thing. You've never had an orgasm...ever?"

"No" I whisper.

He furrows his brow as if he's thinking about something hard before he moves to get up moving me in the process. "Come"

"Where are we going?" I ask as he pulls me through the living room and up a flight of stairs.

"To my bedroom. We are rectifying this, _now_ " he says. "I can't have you going off to college without having come ever. Trust me college guys aren't interested in anything but getting themselves off"

I snatch my hand from his and cross my arms. "Who said I would be wanting any college guy to get me off? You're already done with me?" I chuckle sarcastically. "That was quick"

He turns to face me and eyes me closely. "That's not what- I'm sorry I said that. It was insensitive." He says looking down.

"Why do I get the feeling that may have been your first apology ever"

"Certainly my most sincere one" he says placing a hand under my chin to bring my gaze to his. "I shouldn't have said that"

"Okay"

"I don't want to think about anyone getting you off" he says scrunching his face together. "Now come" he says holding his arm out to follow him into his room.

I look at his hand and walk by tossing a hair over my shoulder. "I intend to"

"Oh Anastasia, we're going to have so much fun." He chuckles

He follows me into the bedroom and points at the bed. "Get on the bed" I bolt for it immediately, kicking my shoes off in the process and hop on the bed bouncing a few times. "Anxious?" he asks as he moves towards me. I nod my head and he smiles. "I am too" He kneels down in front of me so we are eye to eye. "You tell me if you want to stop, okay?"

I nod in response. "Yes"

"You know I won't hurt you, right?"

"I thought... I mean eventually it will hurt right?"

"I'm not going to break your hymen with my fingers" he says staring at me.

"That's not what I meant..." I said my voice trailing off

"You're determined to get what you want, aren't you?" he smirks.

"Only because I know you want it too"

"More than goddamn air" he says and his admission touches me more than he could imagine. _Is he really struggling with this that much? I make a note to talk to him a bit more about Elena and all of his baggage. It must be hard to feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders._

"Me too" I whisper.

"It's different for you, you've never had it... I'm here in constant misery because I know how good it will be" he leans up and runs his tongue from the skin behind my ear down my cheek until he's running it along my bottom lip. "You radiate so much sex appeal Anastasia, and what's better is you don't even know it"

"I...I do?" I stammer

"Fuck yes. Even in that prim and proper bun you wear. You're sex on legs, baby"

"I think just to you.. because you're attracted to me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that"

He halts his ministrations and pulls back to look at me. "Do you think you're beautiful?"

I shrug. "Some days"

He eyes me curiously. "Why only some days?"

I shrug again. "I don't know."

He stands up and pulls me to my feet before hauling me to the full length mirror in his room. He stands behind me and points at it. "Look at yourself"

I look at him for a second before turning to the mirror. "Okay, what?"

"How can you not think that you're beautiful?"

"I don't know"

"Look at your eyes, they are the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. So clear and bright. They look like oceans I want to bathe in forever" he whispers in my ear as he runs his hands up my sides and begins to stroke my arms. "Look at your perfect little nose" he taps it and I giggle before rolling my eyes. "Watch it, young lady" he growls in my ear before nibbling gently on it. "Look at your lips. They have the perfect shape. Women would kill for these lips. Not too thin, very full" he squeezes my cheeks together. "Pucker" I oblige and he smiles. "Perfect pout. You have flawless skin, Ana. So smooth and creamy. Not a flaw or imperfection anywhere. You know how I feel about your hair, so I won't even go there. But you have this amazing body. I have fantasies of it wrapped around mine." He pulls my hair into a makeshift ponytail and tugs it gently so I'm looking up at him as he lowers his mouth to kiss me gently. "I won't get too graphic with your body because I'm trying to exercise some semblance of control here but know that it's amazing. Anastasia, you're perfection in human form. Don't let me ever hear you think differently"

Touched, stunned and moved by his speech I turn in his arms to look at him. "Wow" I say not even caring that the tears are in my eyes. "That was... so nice. You know 17 year old girls are notorious for having body image issues. You may have single handedly changed my life" I laugh the tears from my eyes and he joins slightly.

"I'm glad to hear that"

I sit on the bed cross legged and look up at him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Wasn't I supposed to be giving you an orgasm?" he asks eyeing me.

"Well then you launched into that very flattering dialogue and now I have some questions"

He sits on the bed leaning up against the headboard and pulls me into his arms. "Shoot"

"Have you ever... Is that your way to woo women? Are those your moves? Telling them how lovely and amazing they are?"

"No, Ana. I don't have any moves. I have submissives. I don't need moves with them. I tell them what to do and they do it"

I pull out of his arms and look at them. "Well certainly you tell them they're pretty or compliment their looks or something?" I cock my head to the side in question.

He shrugs. "No.. not usually. They know I find them attractive, I don't need to tell them."

"Oh."

"I know what you're thinking. I didn't need to tell you either. I wanted to."

"Because you thought I needed to hear it" I say softly.

"No. Because I needed to hear it. I needed to vocalize what I think... how I feel about you. Anastasia, my submissives... they don't mean anything"

"You don't... you didn't love them?"

"God no! Anastasia, it's just sex. It's a style of sex that I've felt that I've needed for a while up until recently"

"How recently?"

He chuckles. "Since I ran into this gorgeous girl at a club she had NO business being at. All I keep thinking about is what if I wasn't there that night. And someone else intercepted you... and took advantage of you. A virgin in a BDSM club is like water in the desert, baby."

"I see... is that what keeps you coming back? The chase?"

"No, Ana. It's not the chase" he whispers as he tucks a hair behind my ear.

"Then what is it?"

"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" he says with a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Sorry, I'm... curious"

"It's good. I've had more breakthroughs with you than my therapist" he rolls his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me" I say in a stern voice and his eyes snap to mine. Within a second I'm under him and he's hovering over me.

"Are you making fun of me?" he says narrowing his eyes playfully

"No!" I giggle. "I would nevvvvvver" I say dramatically.

"I think you would" he kisses my nose before moving off of me. "Any more questions?"

"Earlier today you said... that you'd seen more in your 15 years than I might ever see." I pause when I see his face fall. "What did you mean by that?"

"I don't want to taint that beautiful brain of yours with the bullshit of my past. Knowing things... changes you. It changes the way you see the world, the way you see people. I don't want the world to make you hard yet. You're only 17. You're a smart girl, Ana. And I know you have read more books than 90% of the world's population but there's a difference between reading about pain and suffering and feeling it."

"I'm witnessing my stepfather slowly... die. I know pain and suffering Christian." I blink the tears away that inevitably form whenever I talk about Ray. "Let the world make you better not bitter"

He taps my nose. "You are wise beyond your years, Ana Steele. I might have underestimated you"

"Most people do"

He lays back on his arms and stares up at the ceiling. "When I was five, my birth mother passed away." He closes his eyes. "That's an understatement. She OD'ed. She was a crackwhore" I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. "I was with her dead body alone for three days. I remember being so hungry, I found some frozen peas in the freezer. I ate those for three days. I tried to feed them to her.. thinking maybe she would wake up. She didn't"

"Christian" I say quietly as I reach out to touch him but decide against it until he gets everything out. "Where-where was your dad?"

"Don't know. I never met him"

"Where was... anyone?"

"She didn't have any family, at least I don't think. I've never met anyone. No one ever came looking for me... no one ever cared enough, I guess"

"I'm sure if there was someone they would have cared" I say softly.

He shrugs. "Before she died... she had this... this pimp. He was awful. He would beat her and me. I don't like people touching my chest because he'd use it as an ashtray and I can still feel the burns." My mouth drops open and I can't stop the tears from escaping my eyes and flying down my cheeks rapidly. "Please don't cry for me" he reaches for me and at that point the dam bursts and I'm in full on sobs. _God I must look awful right now._

"How could someone do that to a poor... defenseless... child?!" I say through my sobs. I know I'm borderline hysteric but I can't control it.

"Baby, please stop crying" he says pulling me into his lap and stroking my back. "Shhh, I'm sorry. I told you, you can't un-know these things. Damn I shouldn't have told you"

"No.. no" I pull away. "Thank you... for trusting me enough to tell me. I'm sorry I had a moment" I say wiping my eyes when I feel his hands wiping them as well.

"You alright? Do you want some water?"

I shake my head as I wipe my eyes with my sleeve. "Will you show me?"

"My scars?"

"Yes"

He chews on his lip for a second before sitting up slightly. "Please don't try and touch me"

I shake my head. "No never"

He pulls his shirt over his head and I can't even appreciate the God like physique this man has. I'm too focused on the group of circles covering his chest. I don't know how much time has passed but soon my eyes are getting blurry and I feel hands on my cheeks and lips covering my face. "Can you hear me, Ana? I think you're in shock sweetheart"

I shake my head feeling myself coming out of the trans. "What?"

"You were staring at me for like 5 minutes"

"Oh. Sorry... I... sorry"

"Then you started crying again"

"Sorry"

"Don't be and stop apologizing. It's... endearing that you care so much"

"Why wouldn't I care? What person wouldn't care? Especially given the way I.. feel about you"

"And how is that?" He smiles smugly.

 _That I think I'm falling in love with you? Ana don't you fucking dare._ "I care about you a lot."

He smiles. "Is that so?"

"Shut up, you know I do" I say. "Can you put your shirt back on? As a shame as it is to cover up, I feel like I can't touch you at all while it's off"

He nods and slips his shirt back on. "It's on my back too.. so you know"

"So I guess missionary is out for when I lose it." I mutter causing his head to snap towards mine.

"What did you say?" he looks at me with a grin and I smile back.

"You're only delaying the inevitable, Grey. You and I both know it's going to happen"

"Is that so? You certainly are cocky all of a sudden"

"Must be this sexy guy I know giving me this new sense of confidence"

"Oh?"

"Yeah man, he makes me think I can take on the world!"

He's silent for a second and I look at him. "You can, Ana"

"How do you do that?" I ask. He looks at me to continue. "Make me feel like... I am..." I struggle to find the words and I feel his hands on my face again.

"Because you _are_ "

I feel his breath against my lips and soon they're on mine. Kissing, biting, licking and something tells me this makeout session is about to lead to a whole lot more than ever before. I'm on my back and he's on top of me kissing me with such passion I feel like I could come just from the intensity of this kiss. He pulls away from me and I whimper at the loss of contact but is instantly forgotten when I realize his new mission when he begins to raise the hem of my top. Before I can blink it's over my head and across the room. I look at his eyes but can't get a good look at them as they're glued to my breasts. _Damn has this man seen boobs before? The way he's looking at them it's like he's never seen any!_ He licks his lips slowly and I almost convulse on the spot. He reaches a hand out slowly and before he makes contact he searches my eyes for any hesitation. I nod my head vigorously and he winks at me. He gently caresses my breast and I've never been happier that I let Kate take me shopping for new bras. I have to say this bra I'm wearing today is pretty nice.

"So pretty" he says as he places a kiss in the area between my breasts. "Did you wear this for me?"

I can't hide the smile on my face so I go with it and giggle. "Yes" I breathe out.

He places a kiss on both of my breasts through my bra before reaching behind me to unhook it. "Is this okay?" He asks before he unhooks it.

"Yes, God yes. Stop asking me so many questions" I whine.

He chuckles. "Ana, you have all the power here. All the control"

"Am I.. topping from the bottom?"

He pulls back and I wonder if I shouldn't have said that but his eyes are playful. "Where did you hear that?"

"Oh you know... around" I say looking around and avoiding his eyes.

"Did Kate say that?" he asks.

"Please don't tell your brother... I think he will be mad or something" I say pleading with him.

"I've known she was topping from the bottom for weeks now" he says raising an eyebrow. "It's so goddamn obvious. Don't worry, baby. Your secret is safe with me" he says zipping his lips. "But no, Anastasia" he says leaning close to my ear and nibbling it. "You are not topping from the bottom because you are not my submissive. I think the appropriate phrase is you have me wrapped around your little finger"

"Oh"

"Or my balls in your hand. Your choice"

"Probably the first as I don't think I can have your metaphorical balls till I've had your actual ones" I say tapping my chin.

"Fair point"

He resumes what he was doing and soon I feel him unhook my bra. _Oh God it's the moment of truth, a guy is going to see me without a shirt! Oh my fucking God._

"Stop thinking so much" he whispers in my ear before he slowly slides the bra off of me. I raise my eyes to meet his and he smiles at me. "You have incredible breasts, Ana." He runs his hand down the valley before putting one hand on each breast and stroking them slowly. I shiver when he begins to rub my nipples gently bringing them to a point.

"Oh God that feels good" I moan.

"This will feel even better" he quips before leaning down and sucking a breast into his hot wet mouth.

"Holy shit" I say in the breathiest voice making me sound like a porn star. He bites down gently and I can feel him sucking my nipple between his teeth and gently nibbling on it. Its at the point before pain and it's so incredibly pleasurable. I grab the back of his head pushing him further onto my breast and begin to stroke it. "Christian" I groan.

He lets my breast go from his mouth with a pop. "Tell me how good it feels, Ana"

"So good, please don't stop" I could have sworn I heard him say 'never' but it must have been all in my head as I feel his mouth on my other breast. I'm starting to feel that familiar fire between my legs that I get whenever Christian and I start getting hot and heavy but this is different. The fire is more intense and aggressive and I wonder if I'll fall into that category of women who can come from nipple play. I don't get my answer as he pulls back and sits back on his heels.

"Can I take your pants off?"

"Yes please"

"Ana, once your pants are off I may not be able to stop to ask if you're okay as... often. Just tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

"I doubt it will come to that, but thank you for the disclaimer"

He chuckles and slides my pants slowly down my legs. He's tossed them across the room somewhere but I am unaware of anything except for the look he's giving my lower half. I look down to see what he's staring so hard at when I realize it's just... me. Me and my white panties with a blue bow.

"Did you wear these white underwear to tease me, Ana?"

"No"

He raises an eyebrow in question. "You sure?"

I giggle. "Okay perhaps"

"My sexy little angel"

He kisses my stomach and moves slowly down running his lips across the top of my panties and placing a kiss at the bow located directly on my pubic bone and I hiss. "You're good at this whole seduction thing you know that?"

"Really? I'm trying really hard to exercise restraint right now. Trust me I'm dying to dive right in"

"Why don't you?"

"Because it should be special. I want to take it slow"

"It's... you" I say as I sit up on my elbows. "It'll be special whatever way you do it."

He seems almost touched by my admission as he moves up my body and stares me in the eye. "How do _you_ do that?" he asks throwing my words back at me. "You make me feel like a dom, Ana.. without even trying. You trust me to take care of you. And that means a lot to me"

"I want you to take the lead. I don't know what to do" I say nervously.

"You know more than you think, Ana. You're a natural"

"Imagine how good I'll be once you train me" I giggle. "You'll never want to let me go"

His eyes narrow a bit and I feel his lips on my neck. "I already don't want to let you go"

"Then don't" I say keeping eye contact with him.

He kisses down my body placing lazy, wet kisses on my nipples before continuing his path down south. He dips his tongue in my navel and before I have a chance to think or raise my hips for him to take my underwear off my panties are a scrap of cotton and lace in his hands. "Sorry" he says sheepishly. "I got excited" I open my mouth and look at him before blushing as I am completely naked before him. "Anastasia. You look... incredible. Good enough to eat. Which I intend to do" he growls. "Now"

I gulp having this intimate act being done on me for the first time. _Ana breathe, don't be in your head too much, don't worry about what you taste like. You taste fine. Guys love it. Breathe._ I feel my chest going up and down rapidly and his mouth isn't even on me yet. My mind refocuses as I look down and see him placing kisses on my inner thigh and breathing my scent in deeply. "Christian" I breathe out as I feel his breath on my center.

"You are so wet. I can smell you, baby. Your scent is.. mouth watering" he growls as he pushes his nose slightly through my folds and just the feeling of something there when I'm wound so tight is enough to make me snap. I know the second he even breathes on my clit I'll shatter. "You're close aren't you" he grins

"God yes, and please don't tease me" I say looking down at him. "Let me come, please"

"Jesus Ana. You are soaked" He says as he opens me up and exposes me to him. The cool air hits my wet center and I begin to grind my body into his bed.

I'm able to open my eyes somehow and I look down at him. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, Anastasia. It is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. You are a goddess. And I am about to worship the fuck out of you"

Before I even have a chance to respond, I feel his tongue _there_. And. I. lose. it. "Oh my fucking Goddddd" I groan out as I feel the stars exploding behind my eyes as my orgasm starts to move through me wave after delicious wave. I think it surprised him as well how fast I came as he gasps against me as I begin to move my hips against his face. "Christian!" I groan out as I feel myself shatter around him his lips never leaving from around my clit.

As I come down from the orgasm, I look down at him, trying to calm my racing heart. "Oh my God! I've been missing that this whole time?"

"You didn't even let me get comfortable down here! God you're so responsive to me. I love that" I give him a thumbs up as I'm unable to form any coherent sentences and moan when I feel him giving my pussy long, wet kisses. I whimper as I feel his tongue inside me again. "Sorry, you didn't give me much time down there... need another taste. Try to hold off the orgasm longer than 15 seconds baby" he chuckles as he begins working me over again.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours and several orgasms later I wake with a start. I blink my eyes several times and smile at how relaxed and loose my limbs feel. _God just wait till he fucks you._ After about 6 orgasms, I pushed him away and told him to leave me be as I fell into a sex induced sleep. I touch the sheets next to me feeling for Christian and frown when I don't feel him. I do feel that the sheets are still warm which means he probably just got up. I feel around for my phone and find it on the floor as it reads 2:30 am. There's a few texts from Kate which I ignore as I'm on a mission to find my man. I see the light on in his bathroom so I head towards that and hear his shower on. I notice the door is not fully closed so I move inside slowly and am immediately met with a cloud of steam and fog. I move forward anxious to see Christian in all his glory. When we had fooled around earlier, he remained clothed much to my disappointment as he claimed that this was for her. _Honey, me seeing you naked is for me._ But as I move forward I know I can't be held accountable for my actions once I see Christian naked. My eyes widen as I take in his broad shoulders, his back and perfect ass. _Oh my fucking God. He's truly a perfect specimen_. My eyes rake over him several more times, trying to memorize every inch of him. I take a deep breath and I freeze when I hear my name.

"Oh my god Ana.. you feel so fucking good baby. Take it all" My mouth drops open as I realize what he's doing. _Oh my god oh my god oh my god._

Before I can even register what I'm doing, I'm yanking his shirt off of me and moving fast towards the shower and soon I'm in there with him. Naked. _Oh God_. I see him freeze and stop what he's doing although I know his hand is still wrapped around him. He looks slightly over his shoulder and closes his eyes when he realizes I'm there.

When I realize he hasn't opened his eyes I move towards him. "What are you doing?"

"Counting to ten" he says through gritted teeth.

"Why?"

"Because I was close and I am trying to calm down"

I move to face him and though I haven't looked down at him yet I'm dying to. "Can I help?"

"Anastasia" he says hoarsely.

"Please? You can tell me what to do"

He swallows before nodding once and only then do I look down and my eyes widen. "Wow" I breathe out. "It's so..." I look up at him and then back down. "Big!"

I hear him chuckle and then I'm up against the wall and he's boxed me in. "I told you, you knew what you were doing. I'm beginning to think you aren't actually a virgin, Anastasia" he growls in my ear.

"I am" I whimper. "And I want you to be my first" _and my only._ I think to myself. "Please, fuck me Christian. I need you"

He frames my face with his hands and sighs. "I need you too, Ana. I never thought I needed anyone. But you... you walked into my life and turned it upside down and now... I need you so much. You've become the most important person in my life in 5 fucking weeks."

I swallow at his vulnerability. It was all so much, I feel like there is no air in this shower but the tension between us is palpable. "Are you going to make love to me now?" I ask.

"Fuck yes" he growls as he pushes me against the wall of the shower smashing his lips against mine and kissing me more aggressively then ever before. Before I realize what's happening the shower is off and I'm in his arms being carried out of the shower dripping wet and I'm thrown onto his bed.

"Baby, I'm wet... your sheets!"

"Fuck the god damn sheets, and the only wetness I care about is between your legs" I gulp as I know that my life is about to change dramatically in the next 40 seconds as he grabs a condom from his nightstand. "You're sure about this"

I nod. "Yes yes please.. I need this. Need you Christian"

He puts a condom on and begins to stroke himself before rubbing the tip up and down my folds and the act itself is so hot that I almost come from him tapping my clit with his dick. "How does it feel baby, tell me"

"So so good"

"Tell me who's pussy this belongs to baby"

"Yours... only you"

"I'm going to be the only person that's ever had you. You don't know what that does to me Anastasia"

"Do it now" I groan.

"This is going to hurt a little baby, but I promise I'll try to make it better"

I nod. "Just go slow at first"

"Yes of course" he says as he moves in slowly inch by inch.

"Are you in?"

"No baby.. you saw I'm kind of a big boy, I'm not even halfway

"What.. Okay just push it in all the way. Like a bandaid just rip it off"

"Great metaphor" he winces.

"You know what I mean, make like Nike and just do it!"

He chuckles. "You're a trip, Steele." He kisses my cheek and pushes the rest of the way in and I can't stop the scream that rips through me.

"HOLY SHIT"

"I know I know, baby I'm sorry" he sticks his fingers in his mouth before putting them between us and starting to rub my clit to give me some pleasure as he begins to rock in and out of me. Within minutes the pain starts to subside and I start to feel the pleasure coming at me in full force.

"Oh God that feels good" I moan feeling his lips on my neck. I wrap my arms around his neck trying to avoid his back when I feel him pull back and his eyes bore into mine. Grey to blue.

"Ana" he moans out my name and I feel a surge of confidence knowing that I 17 year old mousy Anastasia Steele has brought this gorgeous sex God to his knees. "I. need. you. so. much." he groans out with each thrust. "You. are. mine" he growls as he stares deep into my eyes.

I blink and look away so overwhelmed by the intensity of all of it. I turn back to look at him after I've had a second to gather my thoughts so I know I won't be telling him I love him in the heat of the moment. "Yes, yours Christian. Only yours"

"FUCK" he roars as I feel him pulsing inside of me. The feeling causes me to clench only spurring him on more. "Jesus, baby you're going to kill me squeezing me like that" He's lying on top of me for what feels like an eternity, us both enjoying the closeness of him still being inside of me. He moves down to kiss my forehead before moving out of me. As soon as he's out, he's on his knees with my bottom in his hands and he's raising me to inspect me. "Are you okay? How bad did it hurt?"

"Not bad and what are you doing?"

"Just seeing the damage. You're bleeding"

"That's normal though.."

"Yes, but I wanted to see how much"

"Okay well this isn't a gyno appointment, get out of there" I giggle pushing his face from being so close to my center that is now a bit... abused.

"I'll get you a towel" he says getting up, disposing of the condom and within a second he's back cleaning me with a warm washcloth. I sit up on my elbows and watch the scene unfold. This man taking care of me after giving me the most precious gift that I know that I'll cherish forever. _Now I know why so many girls fall for the man they lose their virginity to. This is some heavy shit._ I wince knowing this probably meant more to me than it did to him. "What is it?"

"Nothing" I shake my head.

"Don't lie to me, Anastasia"

"I'm not"

He raises an eyebrow at me. "I already know you very well. In some ways better than you know yourself. Tell me. What's wrong? Are you having regrets?"

"No! Of course not... I guess I was just thinking that this was really big for me."

"Yes..."

"But probably not really memorable for you"

He narrows his eyes at me. "How do you figure?"

"Well you've had sex before... and will you know continue to have sex. But you were my first, and I'll... never forget that"

"First of all, Anastasia" he says sternly. "Your blood is still on my dick, so perhaps we don't talk about either of us sleeping with other people... just for now?"

I gulp. "K"

"And secondly, you gave me something extremely special, Ana. I will never forget that. _You_ are so special to me, so you're incorrect. This is very memorable for me"

I blink my eyes a few times and know the words are coming out quick. "I-" _Ana no no no STOP._ "I really want to do that again"

He smiles. "I would as well, but you're sore. Would you settle for a bath?"

"Hmmm" I tap my chin. "You wet and hot and naked and... wet? Yeah I'm in" I giggle as I hop off the bed and bolt for the bathroom with Christian right behind me. I'm barely through the door before I'm in lifted into his arms and my legs wrapped around him. His lips attack mine for the millionth time tonight and I feel myself moistening despite my soreness as he sets me on the counter and he starts to run our bath. I swing my legs back and forth as I watch. "You're really too gorgeous for your own good. How do any of those ladies you work with get any work done?"

He shrugs. "Don't know, don't care. You think I'm gorgeous do you?"

I nod. "Unbelievably"

"That is very nice to hear, but it's just a face" he says raising an eyebrow.

"It's a very nice face." _One I wouldn't mind waking up to everyday for the rest of my life._

After a few minutes we climb into the tub and I'm leaning against his chest. He's rubbing my limbs and soon he's massaging my core with his hands and I wonder if this is supposed to be helping the soreness. "Whatcha doing?" I giggle.

"My new favorite activity" he says.

"What's that?"

"Making you come" He kisses the side of my head and I sigh, content. After a moment of silence, he starts. "So..."

"So?"

"Tomorrow is December 1st"

"Mmmmhm"

"Which means your 18th is right around the corner"

"It does" I nod.

"What would you like to do?"

"Hmmm go have croissants in Paris and make love under the Eiffel Tower" I laugh. I notice I'm the only one laughing so I turn to look at him. "That was a joke"

He looks at me oddly and puts my chin between his hands. "Do you have a passport?"

"Oh my God, Christian... JOKE"

"Do you?"

"Yes but-"

"You know you'd need to tell your parents about us if I was taking you to Paris"

"Christian what!"

"I know you want to go to Paris"

"Yes but-"

"Then I'll take you"

"To Paris?"

"Anywhere"

"But-"

"We don't have to go on your birthday... although I could get us ready in time but I imagine that's not enough time to tell your parents about what's going on. How about during your winter break?"

"For Christmas?"

"Yeah how long do you get again? A week?"

"I can't go to Paris for Christmas, Christian"

"Why?"

"Because..." I bite down on my lip. "Because it might be my last one with Ray"

His face falls and he cups my cheeks before grazing his lips over mine. "I'm sorry. You're right, no Christmas then"

"Spring break?" I ask

His smile is big enough to light up the world. "Yes"

"Oh my gosh... we're going to Paris?" the tears well up in my eyes as I launch myself into his arms letting the water slosh over the side of the tub. "You are amazing!" It doesn't matter that I've only known him 5 weeks, or that I'm 17 and have barely seen the world or experienced life. It doesn't matter that my parents will probably have a cow. It doesn't matter that this man is a dominant that likes to spank girls that don't obey him. All that does matter is that I am totally in love with Christian Grey and he was undoubtedly the best thing that ever happen to me.

 **A/N: Ah young love amirite? Kidding. You know this story is about to be alllll the damn fluff ;)**


	4. Meet the Parents

I wake up the next morning hot, extremely hot. There's a slick, thin sheen of sweat coating my skin and I feel the source of my heat wrapped around me. My back is pressed against his chest and my head is resting on his arm as I feel a leg threaded through mine. I turn to the space heater I'm lying next to and sigh. _This man is truly gorgeous._ I bite my bottom lip and begin tracing my index finger over his delicious features and smiles when he shifts next to me.

"What are you doing?" he says pulling me closer to him if it's possible.

"You're a truly beautiful man, Christian Grey"

His eyes open lazily and he blinks a few times before studying me closer. I think he's going to protest but he surprises me. "Thank you. That means something to me coming from you" he kisses my nose moving me slightly so he's propped up on his elbow. "How did you sleep?"

"Lovely. How about you?"

"Great. Best night of sleep I've ever had... I was worried how I'd fare sleeping _with_ someone" I frown as I don't understand what he means, I know he wasn't a virgin! "I mean" he clarifies. "I don't usually share a bed with anyone"

"Ever?"

"No"

"So you sleep with women and... they sleep elsewhere?"

"I have a room for my subs"

"I see" I bite my bottom lip and look away nervously.

"Hey" he pulls my chin back to him. "What?"

"It just all seems so.. cold"

"It is cold. I am a cold person, Anastasia. Some would say I don't have a heart" he says.

"I don't think that's true. Why would anyone say that?"

"Because they know me well"

"I think I know you pretty well"

"You don't know the half of it" he chuckles.

"Then tell me" I say softly as I climb on top of him to straddle him. "Tell me everything" I say before leaning down and rubbing my lips over his.

He leans into the kiss before he pulls away slightly putting his palm over my mouth. "Did you hear that?"

I look at him with wide eyes and shake my head no. "Hear what?" I say but it comes out muffled as his hand is still over my mouth. And only then do I hear the sound of someone calling his name.

"Shit!" he exclaims pushing me slightly off of him. "It's my mother" he says.

My eyes widen. "What should I do... should I stay.. here?"

He pauses for a moment before looking at me. "Would you like to meet her?"

"Your mother?" My eyes widen. "What are you going to tell her?"

"That you're exquisite" he says kissing my nose. "Put some clothes on, and come downstairs" he says pulling his shirt over his head. "Five minutes" he says putting up a hand and with that he's gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts and growing anxiety over meeting Christian Grey's mother.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CPOV

I move down the stairs quickly to see my mother talking to Taylor. "There you are, Taylor said you were still in bed! This late?" She says looking at her watch. "It's almost eleven."

"I went to bed late, mother. And what happened to calling first?"

"Please dear. You look very well rested, son."

"Mom.. I'm not... there's someone here that I'd like you to meet"

"Really?" her eyes widen excitedly. "A lady friend?"

"Yes, mother" I say and I can already feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. _Shit, am I blushing? I do NOT blush._

"Can I meet her?"

"Yes, she's coming down" I smile as I hear someone coming down the stairs. I smile when I see Ana moving towards me slowly and soon she's close enough for me to touch. _She's breathtaking._ "Mother, this is Anastasia Steele.. Anastasia this is my mother Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey"

My mother's eyes widen slightly in surprise before taking Ana's outstretched hand. "It's nice to meet you Anastasia"

"It's nice to meet you too Dr. Grey" she smiles warmly. "Christian has told me a lot about you"

"Really?" My mother says. "I-I wish I could say the same" I can tell my mother is giving her the once over and it's making me uneasy as I think she's trying to pinpoint her age. "Well I should be going, Christian walk me out?"

"Yes of course"

"Anastasia, it was good to meet you. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime soon?"

She nods. "That would be lovely"

I wink at her before heading towards the elevator with my mother where I know what's coming. "Are you out of your mind, Christian?"

"What mother?" I ask giving her a look.

"Don't 'what mother' me! How old is she? She looks like she's 15!"

"She's 17, she'll be 18 in a week"

"And how long have you been... seeing her"

"About a month"

"Christian... she's a child"

"She's not a child, mother. She's wise beyond her years. She's much more mature than anyone I've ever met her age. Leaps and bounds beyond your daughter" I say rolling my eyes as I reference my younger sister Mia.

"That's not saying much, hon. Just... be careful. You are a very powerful man and I just don't want to see you throwing it away for a young, flighty girl. What if you guys break up... you break your heart and she's a woman scorned! Christian she could potentially sue you"

"For what?" I snort.

"You know what." She says glaring at me.

"The law is like 17 and 6 months" I say unsure if that's actually the truth.

"It's 17 and 6 months if you're 18 not if you're 23! Oh my God Christian... And even if she couldn't get far with it being statutory, it would ruin your reputation if it got out!"

"Mom... she's not like that"

"Not like what?"

"She would never do something like that"

"How do you know? She's a 17 year old you've known for a month! They're notorious for their rollercoaster of emotions"

"Okay mom, enough. Just let me handle it, okay?"

"Fine, I just hope you know what you're doing"

"Iiiii do!" I say dramatically

She leaves and I move through the penthouse looking for Ana when I see her ponytail peeking up over the top of the couch. I sit next to her pulling her into my lap when I notice that her eyes are glossy. "Were you eavesdropping?" I say turning her face to look at me.

She nods sadly. "Sorry. I... was just wondering if she liked me"

"That was not about you, baby. That was about me"

"Sure sounded like it was about me... a young flighty girl" she says throwing my mothers words back at me.

"Fuck. I wish you hadn't heard that. You're not flighty, Ana"

"I would never hurt you... or try and ruin what you've worked so hard for. I'm not like that. I guess you'd expect me to say that" she says. "But I would never- even if you did break up with me"

My chest gets tight when I hear the words break up. _No baby I wouldn't be the one breaking up with you._ "I know, angel. I know you wouldn't do that"

"Are you sure? You're not just a little bit worried?" She says putting her index finger and thumb a millimeter apart.

"No" I say firmly as I try to assure her. _Truth is, I've never been as sure about anyone as I am about Anastasia. I don't question her loyalty to me for a second. Maybe because I took her virginity. But I see it in her eyes that she would never try to hurt me.. or anyone for that matter._

"I should go home" she says breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Because of that? Baby it's fine, she's gone anyway. And I want to have my wicked way with you several more times today" I growl in her ear.

"As lovely as that sounds, I typically hang out with my dad on Saturdays" she shrugs and it serves as a bucket of cold water on me.

"Okay, I should get you home" I say kissing her forehead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

We are parked a little down the street from my house. "Thank you, Christian. For everything" I say giving him a smile.

"Thank _you_ , Anastasia." He's silent for a moment. "When can I see you again?"

"You don't have to- I mean I get if this was just a one time thing... I mean don't feel like you have to do all of this"

"All of what?" he asks raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"You know... pretend you're interested"

"You think all of this was pretending?"

"Well I mean... to get what you wanted. To have sex with me. And you did that..."

"What? Anastasia what the hell are you talking about? I want you... I told you I wanted to take you to Paris, did you think that was a joke?"

"Well I thought maybe you were caught up in the moment... you know high on sex. Guys will say anything yaknow"

"Okay, Anastasia enough." he snaps at me and my eyes widen at his harshness. "Just fucking stop it" I bite my lip and give him my best 'don't yell at me eyes'. He looks away from me and shakes his head. "Don't look at me like that" He looks back at me and I see him soften a little. "Baby... I want you. This wasn't all just to get you into bed. I introduced you to my mother. I want to meet your parents... I'm in this. Are you?"

"But you run this successful multi billion dollar corporation. You own your own apartment and... God knows what else. I'm a 17 year old high schooler that lives with her parents and about to go to college... you could have anyone you want.. why me?"

He drops his head. "Why you? Why do you sell yourself so short, Ana? Like you aren't someone special"

"I'm not though... I'm just Ana. I haven't done anything profound. I haven't made my mark on the world yet, I've barely lived"

"You've made your mark on me" he says. "Does that count?"

My heart swells at the simple comment. "Yes"

He holds my hand in his and kisses it gently as he eyes me warily. "Anastasia.. I want to be with you. Tell me you feel the same"

I trap my lip between my teeth and nod trying to stop the smile from creeping onto my face. "Yes of course I feel the same"

He pulls me into his lap and crushes me to his chest. "I know I said I don't let anyone touch my chest. But I want you to... desperately. I'm just not ready yet"

I gasp and pull away. "Really?"

"You'll be the only one... besides Mia"

"Not even your parents?"

"My mom has a few times but she knew pretty early on that I couldn't handle it. But Mia was a baby when she was brought home so I knew she couldn't hurt me."

"I would never hurt you" I say touching the side of his face. "When you're ready" I whisper. "I won't push you"

"I know" he says rubbing his lips against mine. He pulls away from me and he smiles at me, pushing my bangs from my face when I see his smile fade. I see that he's not looking at me but looking past me. I turn around to see what he's looking at and my heart sinks when I see my mother standing 3 feet in front of his car with her arms crossed looking furious.

I turn back immediately to look at Christian my eyes wide and tears glistening in my eyes. "Shit" I whisper.

"Your mother?"

"Yeeeapp" I say as I climb out of his lap and across the console and out of the car. I climb out as she moves towards the drivers side and signals for him to get out of the car.

"Mom-"

"You be quiet" she says pointing at me. Christian gets out and she glares at him. "Who in God's name are you?"

"I'm Christian Grey, ma'am. It's nice to meet you Mrs. Steele"

"Don't." she growls. "Is this what you've been doing for weeks?" she barks at me. "Sneaking around? I thought you were at Kate's? Now you're lying to me Ana? What is going on with you?"

"Nothing! I... just didn't know how to tell you yet" I stumble unsure of how to spin this.

"Didn't know how to tell me what? That you were sneaking off with some man when you're SEVENTEEN! Do you know she's 17? Aka this is ILLEGAL. She's a child!"

"Mom, look at me! I'm not a child"

"In the house, now" she points.

I look at Christian, thoroughly embarrassed at being treated this way. "But-"

"Say good night and goodbye to your little friend. Because this is over. I did not spend the last 17 years, giving you everything for you to ruin your future on some high school romance. No, Anastasia. This ends now"

"How could you say this? Just yesterday you were asking me about a guy- if there was a guy and if there was someone I could tell you... where is my mother that was saying that?"

"Because I thought it was a guy you went to school with! Some guy you had a crush on! Not a man you're dry humping in a car in front of my house!"

The tears are spilling out of my eyes and down my cheeks as I bolt from the scene ignoring Christian calling my name. I burst through my front door and I'm up the stairs and flinging myself on my bed in a fit of sobs. _How dare she embarrass me like that! How could she talk to Christian like that! Shit... Christian. God only knows what she said when I left. She's probably yelling at him._ I'm sobbing for what feels like hours when I feel someone stroking my head. I look up when I see my dad looking down at me.

"Hi Peanut" he says weakly.

"Dad" I smile. "You're up.. I thought the doctor said you needed to be in bed" he sits down next to me.

"He did, but I heard you in here, crying your poor little eyes out"

"Dad... I'm sorry I lied to you and mom"

"About what?"

"Mom didn't tell you?"

"No I haven't seen mom."

"God... I wonder if she's still outside yelling at Christian"

"Who is Christian?"

"This... guy... that I really care about"

"I see. And you've been lying about.. seeing him?"

I sit up and nod. "Yes"

"Is that where you were last night?"

I nod again. "Yes"

"Hm. And he was here?"

"He was dropping me off and mom caught us"

"Doing what!?" He says raising an eyebrow at me

"In broad daylight!? Kissing, give me a break!"

"Not just kissing!" I hear my mom say from the door. "You should have seen those two. They were a step away from giving the whole street a show"

My dad looks at me and I lower my head in shame. "Did Christian leave?"

"Yes, with explicit instructions not to contact you"

"That's not fair! Mom!"

"No, Ana. You're going to wind up with your heart broken or pregnant! And you need to keep your head in the game. We have worked too hard to get you here."

"But-"

"No buts Ana. There will be other guys"

"But not other Christians"

"You will get over it, I promise"

"I hate you." I say crying in part because I feel my heart breaking over losing Christian and also because I've never said anything like that to my mother before.

"Anastasia Rose" my dad says. "You apologize"

"No." I'm hesitant to say this to them when I haven't said this to Christian yet but I blurt it out. "I love him"

My mother shakes her head at me. "I'm taking you to the doctor TO-MOR-ROW. God only knows what he's done to you"

"You make him sound like he's a monster!"

"He is! Preying on a young innocent girl"

"You don't understand! He- He's not like that!"

"Oh so you haven't had sex with him?"

My cheeks flush and I catch a glance at my dad who's looking paler than usual and I have a sneaking suspicion it has nothing to do with his cancer. "Mom..."

"Exactly. Ana... I am just trying to protect you"

"I don't need protecting from Christian. I'll be 18 in ONE week"

"It's not just the age, Ana. You can't afford to lose focus... and you're so intense about him. I promise, there will be other guys."

"Just go" I whisper.

She sighs. "Give me your phone"

"What?" I ask.

"Give me your phone... now Ana"

"Seriously? You're taking my phone from me?"

"And your computer. You're grounded"

"For what?"

"For what? Are you insane? For lying to us for one. You can have it back when you go to school Monday"

"It's Saturday!"

"And you'll be inside for the remainder of the weekend so you shouldn't need it. Give me your car keys too"

"What? I have practice tomorrow"

"I'll drive you to practice tomorrow and wait for you"

"You're joking"

"No, Ana"

I remember my iPad that's charging on my floor next to my bed and hope that my mom doesn't remember that. "Please just go" I sigh as I sit back on my bed. She leaves, just leaving myself and my dad.

"I'll talk to her"

"Don't bother" I sigh.

"I'm not pleased about this either, Ana. But I at least think you should be able to say goodbye to him"

"Goodbye?" I choke out.

"I don't think it's good for you either, Ana"

"What! Companionship? Someone that cares about me? Is interested in me? I've gone four years not dating or having a boyfriend and now what... you think I'll turn into some pregnant, juvenile delinquent that will start blowing off school because I met someone? Dad... I'm still me. I still care about school and my grades and ballet.. Christian wouldn't let me give up on those things either. He's helped me study for tests the last few weeks! I do my homework at his house for crying out loud!"

"The less I know about this Christian, the better"

"You don't even know him, dad. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course I do honey.. but.." he trails off. "I've seen this happen before. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, girl gives up everything for him"

"He would never ask me to do that"

"I didn't say he would. I still think you would do it"

"Do you think I'm that weak minded? That dependent on someone else? That desperate for love?"

"I didn't say that"

"You implied it"

"Ana" he coughs slightly. "I don't want to argue with you. I'm going to go lie down, alright? Just know that I love you"

I don't want to say it back but a voice in the back of my head tells me to say it as I don't know what the night will bring. "I love you too dad"

"It's going to be okay, kiddo"

The second he is out the door I dive for my iPad and frown when I see that the Wi-Fi has been turned off in my house. I groan in frustration when I realize my mother must have turned it off realizing I must still have my iPad. Luckily I can see Christian's texts and I save his number as I don't have it memorized and try to memorize it in the meantime. I go to my window and try to remember how in the world I got to Christian's house because I am definitely breaking out of here _tonight_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _It's 1 am when I hear my the guest room door close. My mother has been sleeping in there because my dad needs space. I look out my window and know for a fact I can make it out of the window and down safely. I pull on my coat and boots and grab my iPad just so I have some sort of communication in case I get Wi-Fi. I am wary about traveling without a phone but I know once I get to Christian everything will be fine. I just have to know if we're okay... I need him to tell me that despite what happened earlier he doesn't hate me. Or if he does... I just need the closure. I make it to the ground and sigh before I start walking. This would be so much easier if I just had my keys. Although my car would make a decent amount of noise. And my mother is parked behind me in the driveway. God she's determined to keep me on lockdown, isn't she? I walk down the street towards Kate's and pray she's awake. I wanted to call her to let her know what was going on and make her privy to my plan but... no way of contact. I sigh when I see her house is dark and sit on the curb in front of her house. I know which one is her window and even if I threw pebbles at it, she wouldn't wake up. She sleeps like the dead. The only chance I have of seeing Christian is walking the mile to the nearest gas station and calling a cab from there. But walking there involves crossing a semi major highway. I did not think this through. I start walking towards the gas station and start to feel nervous. Why did I do this... maybe I am the desperate young girl everyone keeps thinking I am. Maybe I'm not old enough to be in a relationship with Christian. Maybe I'm already too attached and obsessive. It's 1 am and I'm walking to this man's house! God what a fucking cliché. I contemplate turning around when I see lights in front of me. I pray for a taxi or uber sign in the window but sigh when I realize it's just a car and there's no way I'm flagging down some random person. I'm walking past it when I hear it stop and moving backwards towards me. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. They're going to kidnap me. Fuck. Oh my God, okay.. run. Scream... something._

"ANA!"

I've started running but I turn when I hear my name. "Kate?"

"Oh my God! What are you doing out walking around?" Once I have the feeling of my best friends arms around me, I lose it. I'm sobbing uncontrollably when I feel myself starting to move and suddenly I'm in a car

"Where... who's car is this?" I look up and see Elliott in the front seat.

"Hello little lady. Why the tears? Did my asshole brother do something to you? And why the hell are you out walking around by yourself? Don't you know how dangerous that is?" He looks at Kate. "I'd put you over my knee so god damn fast" he says giving her a pointed look.

"Not the time, El" she looks at him and I smile to myself as she didn't call him Master or Sir.

"Babe, what's going on? What are you doing?"

I look up at Elliott. "Can you take me to your brother's house... please?"

"Is that where you were going? You were walking there?"

"Long story" I say before sniffling a few times.

"Sure, Ana. But... you're sure he didn't hurt you?"

I shake my head. "No he didn't"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm out of the car and bolting through the garage and up to the penthouse before Elliott's car is even in park. The elevator dings and I'm running until I hit a wall of muscle and there's arms around me. "Baby- what are you thinking!?" He says in my ear and when I realize who it is I cling to him for dear life.

"I'm so- sorry" I begin to sob and he holds me tighter.

"Sorry for trying to walk here in the middle of the God damn night? You should be sorry. Why didn't you call me?"

"My mom took my phone... keys... computer.. turned Wi-Fi off so I couldn't use my iPad"

"I'll get you a phone so I can keep in touch with you. But baby that doesn't explain why Elliott picked you up on the side of the road trying to WALK here! It's like 12 miles!"

"I was just going to walk to the gas station and then call a cab from there... The gas station is only a mile from my house"

"You're getting a spanking, Anastasia. I fucking mean it. How could you be that careless? What if something happened to you? Don't you understand what that would do to me?" He asks putting my face in his hands and making our eyes lock. "I would never forgive myself if I was the reason something happen to you"

"I had to know if you hated me..."

"How could I hate you?"

"Because of what my mom said... because she said we couldn't see each other"

"I wasn't going to let anyone stop me from seeing you, angel. I would have figured out something. You just didn't give me any time to figure it out" he chuckles. "I'm in the process of getting you a security detail. Clearly I needed to work faster because this CPO would have intercepted you when you left the house"

"Would have been easier"

I hear the elevator ding and Kate and Elliott come through the door.

"You weren't invited up" Christian says staring at them.

"Well we're here now" Elliott interrupts. "We're staying.. besides, Ana will need an alibi about where she's been. And I'm going to assume she's not going to want to say she was here. I'll take them both back to Kate's in a few hours."

"No" I whimper as I'm still in his arms so I grip him tighter. "Can we be alone please?" I whisper in his ear.

He nods and pulls me away from them. "Eat whatever you want. Don't break anything"

"Can we use-"

"No Elliott"

"Come on I know you have knew shit you bought that you haven't even used yet!"

"NO ELLIOTT"

"Oh must be saving it for someone special" he winks and Christian scowls.

Once we get to his room, I sit on his bed and pull my shoes off. "Can't I stay?"

"Of course I would love that, but what do we do when your parents wake up and realize you aren't there?"

I shrug. "I don't know"

"You have to go back with Kate"

I lower my head sadly. "What are you saving for someone special? And... am I someone special?"

"You're my only someone special" he says rubbing my cheek. "And yes... though I didn't want to do it quite yet, you're still getting used to sex, I didn't want to start adding on a bunch of toys and..."

"Your kinky fuckery?" I ask with eyes full of curiosity.

He laughs out loud. "I like that. Can I use that?"

"I haven't patented it yet. So by all means..." I trail off. I'm silent for a few minutes but I feel his gaze on me. "I'm sorry I tried to walk here, I just wanted to see you... I wasn't sure how earlier left us"

"Nowhere different... I know your mother is upset but you're about to be 18, she can't tell you that you can't see me"

"I'm grounded... and I live at home, she has some control over my life till I go to college"

"Where are you going to live anyway? At home?"

"No.. on campus with Kate"

"Or... you could live here... with me?"

"What?"

"By May, do you think you'd be ready to live together full time? If not we can talk about your second year?"

I launch myself into his arms and begin kissing his face all over. Here I was thinking that this man was going to dump me because of earlier and he was thinking about me _living_ with him. "Thank you for not freaking out over earlier" I say between kisses.

"Why do you think I'm going to run from you... from this? I am in this with you, Ana"

I nod. "I just thought maybe that was too much of a hassle from you. You're a grown man... dating a girl who just got grounded for lying to mommy and daddy" I roll my eyes. "Why would you want to put up with that?"

"Because in five weeks you've changed my life, Ana. And I can't imagine it without you. We will figure something out, okay? I don't care if I have to buy your ballet studio to be able to sit in on your classes."

I chuckle and he gives me a look. "I'm tempted"

"I don't doubt it" I giggle.

"But right now... Anastasia, before I make love to you. I'm going to spank the shit out of you."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"You know why. Do you know what I've been through? One, texting you and realizing that you probably didn't have your phone as I got a call from your mother advising me not to call and that she was blocking my number. And two getting a text from Elliott at 1:15 telling me that he picked you up on the side of the road and he was bringing you to me. Do you know what was going through my mind when I realized you were out alone walking around this late at night?"

"I know.. but I had to see you"

"I don't fucking care, Anastasia. That's dangerous. Do you not care about your safety at all?"

"I do but-"

"No buts Anastasia. Don't you ever do something like this again, okay?" He asks staring at me hard.

"Yes"

"Promise me"

I bite my bottom lip knowing that this is a lie, because given the circumstances I would definitely do it again. "I promise"

"Don't lie to me Anastasia"

"I'm not."

"That being said... I'm glad you're here" He says pulling me into a hug and kissing me lightly. "I've been missing you terribly since I left you, and not being able to talk to you didn't help"

"I missed you too" I say as I climb into his lap.

"Uh uh uh." he says pulling my hands from around his neck. "Not yet"

He moves me to stand up and I'm soon being hauled over his knees and his legs trapping mine in place. All of the air leaves my lungs in the quick movement and my heart starts to race. "Chr- Master?"

"Yes, Anastasia?"

"How many times are you going to hit me?"

"Five"

"Will it hurt?"

"No more than you can handle"

"K"

"Do you trust me?" I'm silent and he pulls my hair into a makeshift ponytail and tugs. "Do you?"

"Yes"

"Do you know how I feel about you Anastasia?"

"I... I think so"

"Think?"

"I know so?" I squeak out.

"I'm spanking you because I am going crazy at the thought of what you did tonight... but make no mistake, I am crazy about you in general." He kisses the side of my head and within a second I feel my bottom stinging and a loud SMACK indicating he's struck me once. "Count Ana"

"One" I whimper and feel everything down south tighten. "TWO!" I scream when I feel it again and start to squirm in his lap.

"Stay still, angel"

"THREE" I groan when I feel his fingers ghost over my folds. "Four!" I turn back to look at him and find his grey eyes boring into mine. "Five" I moan lustfully as I stare at him.

He moves me to lay face down on the bed and he hovers over me. "Your ass is a delicious shade of pink" I moan when I feel his lips touching my heated bottom and then his tongue soothing it. He blows on the trail he's made with his tongue making it cool as it's still hot and soon I feel myself on my knees and him sinking into me from behind. I sigh when I hear him groan my name as we begin a night of long and intense love making.

 **A/N: Picture the mom from "The Notebook" for Carla ;) Still planning for this to be a shorter story but I've been hit with some inspiration of what the parents of a very sheltered girl would think about her newfound interest in a boy when she needs to be worrying about her "future" ;)**


	5. Is This Love?

I open my eyes and take in my surroundings and pout when I realize I'm in my room alone and not in the arms of the man I love. _Love. I am in love. Happy birthday to me._ I haven't seen Christian since the night I snuck out of his place a week ago but thankfully I have been able to talk to him.

 **Five days ago:**

"I can't believe we pulled that off the other night" Kate sighs as she leans up against her locker. "Got a present from your secret lovaaaa" she giggles.

"You saw him?" I close my locker and we start down the hall towards our English class.

"Got it through Elliott." She pulls a small box out of her bag and hands it to me. I smile when I see the new iPhone Christian bought for me. I power it on and see the text waiting for me.

 **Use this phone to contact me. Don't get it confiscated. Hope to see you soon**

 _ **Thank you! Miss you already**_

 **Me too, baby.**

I'm pulled out of my memories and smile when I feel my secret phone vibrate.

 **Happy 18th birthday, angel. Welcome to the club! It's been a lonely 6 days without you.. I miss you and I will see you soon. I promise.**

 ** _Thank you thank you! I miss you too. So much. When can I see you?_**

 **Today.**

 _ **Really!?**_

 **Yes, really. I will make it happen, baby.**

Today is Saturday, and I almost wish it was a school day, so that maybe I could have snuck out during lunch and see him. I sigh wondering why I didn't think of doing that before? _Right because you've never ditched school before. Ever._ _God, Ana you go to school even when you're sick because you hate the idea of missing school._ I bound out of bed and down the stairs following the smell of French toast wafting through the house. "Happy birthday, sweetheart" my father says as he sits at the table reading the newspaper.

"Thanks dad" I kiss the side of his head. "How are you feeling?"

"Good days and bad days... but it's my number one girl's birthday. Gotta be a good day!" he smiles as I sit down adjacent to him.

"Happy birthday, honey" my mother says as she walks in the dining room putting a few pieces of French toast on my plate.

 _Lord knows I want to be mad at her, but I know how this game is played. Pretend like nothing is wrong. The longer she knows I'm pissed, the more on lockdown I'll be. If I act like nothing is wrong, like I've moved on from Christian and not dying inside to see him, she might let me off this super tight leash she's had me on the last week_. I smile. "Thanks mom"

"I thought we could go shopping later? Get you some new things. You definitely need some things for the competition next weekend"

"That... sounds great!" I say trying my best to sound chipper. "But ummm.. a few of the girls from the Academy wanted to take me to lunch and hangout... you know"

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Well I suppose it is your birthday, and you have been good all week"

"Can I take the car?"

"I would feel better if I dropped you off"

"Mom" I say giving her a look. "He hasn't even tried to contact me" I look down sadly, trying my best to pull this off. _I'm not sure what's breaking my heart more- the mere thought of Christian not trying to talk to me... giving up on me... or the fleeting smile that crossed my mothers face when she hears me say it. How could she be that cold about her daughters first love. Okay she doesn't know I love him, but she does know I gave my virginity to him. She knows I care deeply for him..._

"Like I said honey, there will be other guys" my mother says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Right" I say giving my best 'fake smile'. _God I deserve an Oscar for this performance._

I'm back in my room where I immediately reach for my secret phone and head straight for my bathroom. I wonder what my parents have been thinking about my showers. I take at least two a day to talk to Christian.

"Baby" he answers as he picks up on the first ring. "Happy birthday"

"Thank you" I giggle.

"I have something for you. Well a lot of somethings"

"You didn't have to get me anything. I just want you"

"Hush, it's not everyday you turn eighteen. Let me spoil you"

I'm silent for a moment. "I know what I want"

"What's that?"

"For you to take me in your playroom" I say in a low sultry voice.

"Anaaaa" he groans. "Baby we've talked about this"

"But why? You need it and I want to give you what you need"

"I don't _need_ it, Ana. I need... you"

I feel warm all over hearing his words. "You can have both. Just please consider it? It is my birthday after all"

"Well for one, are we even going to be able to see each other... in that capacity today?"

"You said we could see each other. You _promised_ "

"Yeah for a few minutes, maybe. Ana you're on lockdown like I've never seen. And I got in trouble A LOT in high school."

She groans. "Tell me about it. Look, I'm breaking out of here"

"I told you no more sneaking out, it's not safe. And if you get caught and sent to reform school, I'll go fucking insane"

"No no, the warden is letting me out. Apparently birthdays I get a pass. I told them I was going to meet some girls from BDA. Christian, I'm going out of my mind. I miss you and I want to see you. Please let me come over?"

"You're welcome here anytime, you know that. I just don't want you getting in trouble. Who's to say she won't find out you're not actually there"

"Christian, I'm eighteen. I'm not letting her bully me anymore. In six months, I'll be living at WSU with Kate and I do hope my wonderful boyfriend will let me sneak him into our dorm room." I giggle.

"So I guess having me for a roommate is out" I hear him say sadly.

"Can we talk about this when we see each other?"

"Yes, Anastasia" he sighs.

"Don't get huffy, it's my birthday"

"You're right. When should I expect the birthday girl?"

"An hour or so, please be naked when I get there. Thank you" I giggle.

"Why Miss Steele, do you just want me for my body?"

"Yes" I say immediately before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"I'm offended"

"You can spank the rudeness out of me, soon" I say before hanging up before he can say another word. I shower and change and within the hour I'm downstairs. "I'm going out"

"Wait a sec" Carla says. "So where are you going?"

"Not exactly sure, the girls said it was a surprise. Probably lunch, movies, hanging out at Hannah's. And Kate wants to do something later too. Probably throwing me a surprise party, knowing her" I say rolling my eyes. _Damn, Steele the lies just keep rolling out naturally don't they?_

"I see. And-"

"Carla give it a rest, will ya. She's eighteen"

"Yeah and do you remember what she was doing a week ago?"

I look down as my heart aches thinking about Christian. _Why couldn't he have just been a high schooler. Who knows though, maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. Mom probably isn't even paying the age any mind, especially now that I'm 18. She would have freaked out about me being intense about any guy that she saw as a distraction for me and my future. My 'future'... I am so sick of hearing about my future. A future I don't even have a fucking say in. I've been groomed to become a prima ballerina for almost 13 years now. And while I know I have the drive, dedication and figure for it, part of me wonders if I want it._

"Carla, enough. Ana have fun with your friends. Be careful, alright?"

"Yes dad" I say before kissing his cheek. "I love you"

"Love you too kiddo"

I'm out of the house on my own for the first time in a week and I all but sprint to my car as I shoot Christian a text saying I'm on my way. I don't even pay attention as I'm driving, simply going through the motions as I'm focused on getting to my destination. I'm parked and in the elevator and I feel my body start to come alive as it knows what's in store. I enter his penthouse and tears immediately flood my eyes as I see a bouquet of red roses sitting on a table in the foyer. I move toward them and take in the smell before I let my eyes wander to the ground where I see a tray of rose petals leading out of the foyer. As I step into the living room, I see the rose petals lead upstairs. I toss my purse, before kicking off my shoes and pulling off my jacket and I'm sprinting up the stairs to Christian's bedroom. I open the door and my mouth drops open when I see my man naked on his bed. He props himself up on his elbows and smiles. "Come here, baby" he beckons me with his finger and within a split second I'm on him. My mouth is attached to his immediately and I groan as I remember how good he tastes.

"Christian" I mewl. "Baby, I can't wait... it's been too long. I need you." I feel his mouth on my neck, my chest, and soon my dress is hiked up around my waist and my tights are being ripped off of one leg so he can part my legs. I barely realize what's going on until I feel my underwear pushed to the side and a hand inside of me.

"Fuck you're ready." He says pulling his hand out and sucking me off of his index and middle finger. "Ana this is going to be fast." I don't have a chance to respond before he's inside of me. My hands immediately go to his hair as his lips find mine, aggressively. Licking, sucking, biting. _It's so carnal and raw_. _Passionate. Hot. Holy fuck, I've never felt like this ever. So alive._

"Jesus Christ, Christian"

"Been. So. Long. Without. You" he growls in my ear. "Can't do this again"

"It's not my fault" I moan as he hits the spot that drives me wild. _The things this man can do with his dick._

"I know. I know" he whispers as he frames my face with his hands as he slows down the frantic pace and begins to slowly make love to me.

"Why'd you stop?" I whisper.

"Didn't want it to end yet. Haven't had my fill of you"

"I'll probably never have my fill of you"

"Probably?" he asks. I look away from his penetrating gaze as I can feel the words at the tip of my tongue but I swallow them back. "Baby, what is it?"

"Nothing" I shake my head.

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not... I just.. want to come" I groan as I urge him to go faster by lifting my hips up and down a few times.

He pulls out of me and sits between my legs slowly pulling off the other half of my tights as I still had them on one leg. He lifts my leg to rest on his shoulder and begins trailing kisses from my ankle to my knee. "Did I do something?" he asks quietly. "Was that too much? Too rough?"

"No! No, Christian it was perfect. Sexy and I loved it." I bite my bottom lip after I say the L word.

"Then what is it"

"I just...well.. has there been anyone else here since... I've been here?" I look up into his eyes and I'm almost afraid when I see the daggers he's shooting me.

"Are you out of your god damn mind, Anastasia?" He gets up pulling his underwear on and begins to pace the floor. "You're joking right?"

"No... I..."

"You're serious?"

"I just... look at you!" I say pointing at him.

"That won't work, Ana. Nice try" I'm at a loss for words. "Angel what is it?" he says sitting next to me. "I know you couldn't possibly think that there's anyone else. You're smarter than that. And you know me. Better than anyone"

I look up into his grey eyes and I feel his hands on my face wiping my tears. "I think I'm in love with you"

He removes his hands from my face and stares at me with wide eyes. "Ana... baby... no. You don't... you don't want to love me. It's wrong"

"Why?"

"I don't know... nobody has ever said that to me"

"I love you?"

"Well my parents have told me they loved me, and Mia..." he says sitting back on his heels. "No one has ever been in love with me before"

"Why would it be wrong though?"

"I don't deserve your love, Ana... You're too good, too pure. I'm no good for you, I would ruin you"

"Or you'd _save_ me"

"From what?"

"Going through this life alone."

He pulls me to sit up and cups my cheeks. "Ana... I am... unbelievably moved by all of this. But... I took your virginity. You're going to feel a connection with me, but it may not be love"

"Don't do that" I say getting off the bed. "Don't you dare fucking placate me. You've never treated me like I was some naïve kid... even if you thought it. You treated me like the woman you were fucking and couldn't get enough of. Don't act like I'm some kid that doesn't understand the way it works now. I understood a week ago when you told me you wanted to take me to Paris. Or was that all a lie?"

"No! Anastasia" he moves towards me. "Of course it wasn't a lie."

I'm silent for a moment as I'm trying to figure out what I want to say. "You can't hide from me, Christian. I see you. The real you. Not the powerful multi-billionaire CEO that sits in his Ivory Tower running his company. I see you. Christian Grey, a guy that just... wants to be _enough_ for someone. You're enough for me. You're everything to me." I move towards him slowly. "I know how you feel about me"

"Anastasia" he says his voice hoarse with emotion he's trying to hide.

"Say it"

"No"

"Why?"

"Because I say it and... you'll never leave" My eyes widen and he puts a hand up. "Not what I mean" He pulls me into his arms and looks me deep in the eyes. "I would never want you to give up anything for me. If you want to be a ballerina, you can't do that here... and my company is here. And I could just see you not pursuing your dreams because you don't want to be apart from me. I asked you to move in with me here next year and I am so glad that you aren't. In hindsight, it's not a good idea. You would eventually feel like I was smothering you. You need to have experiences living on your own with your best friend. Not cooped up in an apartment with me. You need to go out and enjoy your adolescence. Your twenties. Enjoy them for me too"

I can't stop the tears forming as I choke out the question. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No..." He pauses. "I don't know"

"Please don't do this" I whisper. "I know...I'm young but...not that young"

"It has nothing to do with your age. And everything to do with making sure you don't miss out on any experiences."

"But... I want you. Don't I get any say at all?"

He rests his forehead against mine. "You'll thank me... and your mother one day"

"Please don't let me go, Christian please. I love you"

"I know you think you do, Ana."

"No, you promised me, you said we were in this. That you were in this with me!" I push him hard repeatedly against his chest trying to get him away from me when I realized what I did. My eyes widen as I look at him and shake my head. "I'm sorr-ry" I choke out. "I... just wanted you-" I'm silenced when I feel lips against mine attacking me aggressively.

"Touch me again."

"Wh-what?" I stammer out

"Touch me again" he groans out as his lips find my neck and begin sucking. He has me pinned up against the wall, one hand on my breast and one hand weaving through my hair when I lift both hands and put them on his chest causing him to growl. "You can touch me" he says pulling away to look at me. "How?"

"I-I-I" I stammer unable to find the answer. "I don't know"

"Ana" he whispers against my mouth and soon he's gone. He runs a hand through his hair and begins to pace again.

"What's wrong?"

"No one can touch me. Mia. That's it"

"Maybe you know I won't hurt you" I say softly. "Maybe because I told you I love you" I shrug. "I don't know"

He's back in front of me again. "Where have you been, Anastasia? God I've needed you for... so long"

I look down. "Then stop trying to give me up" His face falls and I move into his arms. "Can I have my presents now?" I smile trying to lighten the mood.

A few hours, a few way too expensive gifts and more rounds of sex later, I'm laying in Christian's arms as he strokes my head. My head is laying on his chest as I let his heartbeat lull me to sleep. I vaguely hear him saying something but I'm out before I can decipher it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

 _I'm in love with her. There's no doubt about it. There's never been any doubt. I've known since she looked up at me with those baby blue eyes the night we met. So full of wonder and mystery. But I don't want her to lose herself being with me. Like a few have before her. Leila, Susannah, Rebecca... they wanted more and I refused to give it to them. They stayed anyway and when I ended it, they lost it. All of them. I can't do that to Ana. I can't break her like I did the others._

I shake her a few times trying to wake her when I feel her hand travel up to rest over my heart. She nuzzles her face further into my chest as she rubs her naked, wet core against my thigh as she drapes a leg over mine. I smile feeling her warm body wrapped around mine and I kiss her forehead. "I do love you Ana. Just be patient with me, baby"

We must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know my eyes fly open due to a lot of yelling. I rub my eyes a few times to see Ana still sleeping soundly on my chest. "What the-" I say as I sit up slightly not trying to wake Ana. When I recognize the voice, I'm immediately on the move pulling my clothes on and running a hand through my hair. I wake the Sleeping Beauty next to me gently. "Baby, wake up"

"What... what's wrong?" she rubs her eyes. "Why are you dressed?"

"You're so cute when you first wake up" I rub my nose against hers. "But you have to get dressed"

"Why?"

"Your mom is here"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **A POV**

I'm following Christian down the stairs to see my mother frantic and Taylor trying to calm her down.

"YOU" she moves towards Christian and I step in front of him.

"Mom stop it"

"Out with girls from BDA? You are out of control, young lady. I KNEW you hadn't cut all ties with him. I just knew it"

"Mom, you're going to have to accept it. We are _together_." I look at him. "I love him"

"YOU LOVE HIM? Ana you don't even know him, tell me you aren't that stupid! Have I taught you nothing!?"

"About this? No not really"

"You are going to wind up throwing EVERYTHING away for a guy? For some puppy love? Anastasia Steele, so help me God. I am not letting you throw your future away"

"Who is throwing ANYTHING away?"

"We will talk about this at home, let's go" she says reaching for me.

"No" I say backing up and feeling Christian's chest against my back. "I'm staying"

"Like hell you are. Let's go"

"Last I checked, I became an adult today"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. You're not going to make me give up the greatest thing that ever happened to me" I hear Christian slightly gasp behind me.

"What makes you think he even wants you here! You're a high schooler!"

"I want her here, permanently to be honest" Christian interjects.

"Well if that's what you want" Carla says looking at Christian with disdain. "After everything I've done for you..." she shakes her head at me. "She's your responsibility now" She says looking at Christian. "Don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart" Carla says and with that she's gone.

I'm silent for a second before I turn around, the tears forming in my eyes. "Sorry. I can go.. stay at Kate's..." I trail off.

"No. You're right where you need to be. With me"

I rub my head before moving to the couch. "What did I just do?"

"You stood up for yourself... for us" he says.

"Why is she so against us... against me being happy?"

"She's just worried, baby. Worried you'll get hurt. She will come around when she sees I'm in this for the long haul" he smiles.

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"In this for the long haul, because a few hours ago I wasn't so sure."

He's silent for a moment before he looks into my eyes. "Did you mean what you said?"

"About what?"

"Being the best thing that ever happened to you?" He asks. I nod feeling the color rush to my cheeks and he studies me closely. "How?"

"How what?"

"Can I be? I've never been the best thing to happen to anyone" he says quietly.

I look at this lost man in front of me that I happen to love and crawl into his lap putting his face in my hands. "Where does all this self doubt and self loathing come from? Who made you think that you weren't... this amazing human? Who's ass do I have to kick?"

He chuckles and I smile back at him. "I just didn't... I've never meant that much to someone"

"I'm sure that's not true, your family loves you"

"That's different. They have to... I've never felt... what I feel for you, Anastasia"

"What do you feel for me?"

"I love you" he says quietly

I smile widely finally hearing the words I've suspected all afternoon. "Well that's nice to hear because I thiiiiink I need somewhere to live" I chuckle as he lifts me in his arms and carries me to his room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So you live here now?" Kate says the next day when her and Elliott come over to find out what the hell happened to cause Carla to have a complete breakdown in Kate's living room the night before as she hysterically explained the situation to Kate's mom.

"I don't know, Kate" I say as I take a sip of wine. "One day at a time, I guess."

"Wow. Wish I could live with my boyfriend"

"Your parents let you see him though" I retort.

"Because they think he's in college, not 25"

"Elliott doesn't look like he's in college" I say raising an eyebrow at her.

"Eh he shaves when he comes to dinner" She shrugs. "They just think he looks old"

"And they let you sleep at his place"

"No they don't. I tell them I'm at your house, or one of the girls' house or I sneak out. Ana... you just got caught. I'm sorry, I should have trained you better"

I shake my head. "Kate... I'm in love with him"

"What? Wow Ana... it's... soon"

I shake my head. "I know but... he loves me too and-"

"Did he say that?"

"Yes"

"When?"

"Yesterday"

"Before or after you assumedly moved in?"

"What does it matter?"

"It matters, Ana. Look babe, you gave your virginity to him of course you're going to feel this deep connection with him and it might even feel like love. But it isn't"

"It is, Kate"

She shakes her head and leaves the kitchen leaving me to wonder what the hell she's about to do. I don't have to wait long when I see her approach Christian and Elliott. "We need to talk, NOW"

"Excuse me?" Christian says giving her his best Dom face.

"Cut the shit. Let's go" she says pushing him out of the room.

"Kate!" I exclaim but she's pulling him down the hall and yelling at me to stay away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

 _Who does this blond girl think she is? I am not Elliott and she is not Ana, this girl can RE fucking LAX._ "Who the hell do you think you are?" I bark. "Do you know who I am? What I am?"

"A piss poor Dom if you're falling in love with your submissives"

"Watch your tone, Kate. I won't tell you again. Anastasia isn't my submissive"

"Jesus Christ. So you have subs too?"

"No! Of course not. It's just Ana. It's been only Ana since I met her. I ended a contract with my submissive, the night I met Ana. And I wasn't... we weren't sure where that was even going to go then"

"You'd kissed her that night"

"Yes"

"Do you know what you're doing, Grey?"

"No" I say honestly.

"Do you love her?"

"I don't think that's your business"

"It is"

"How do you figure?" I challenge.

"Ana is my best friend. She's my sister. My family. Don't fucking hurt her, Christian. I know you're Elliott's brother and a Dom and all that but... I've lost all respect for you if you're just playing her. She's a tough girl and can take care of herself but she's also new to all of this... to you... to men... to... life in some ways."

"I'm not playing her, Kate."

"And you're okay with her staying here? Living with you? At least till Carla cools down?"

"Yes"

"You sure?"

"Kate..." I warn.

"She says she loves you"

"That wasn't a question" I stare at her.

"Do you love her back?"

I sigh. "Not that I'm in the business of sharing my personal life with anyone, but yes I do. I am very much in love with your best friend. And I promise I will take care of her"

She furrows her brows and gives me a small smile. "If you fuck this up, so help me God"

"Language" I bark at her.

"Oh no no no." Kate says with a gleam in her eye. "You've forfeited all those rights, Grey." She smiles at me before heading out the door and I groan thinking about all the shit Katherine Kavanagh will be giving me for the rest of my life.

 _Whoa. That was out of nowhere. Rest of my life? With Ana?_ I smile to myself. _I can't fucking wait._

 **A/N: Told you guys this would be a quick one! Got a few more ideas I want to get out but will be wrapping this up in the next few chapters :)**


	6. Parents, Old Subs and Other Problems

_It had been two weeks since my mother stormed out of Escala essentially washing her hands of me. Since then I had been home once to collect my essentials. Mainly my laptop, my dance gear and some clothes. I was shocked that my mother didn't have my phone shut off but I had an inkling my father talked her out of that. My poor father who was caught in the middle. I felt awful leaving him when he was so sick but I knew my mother would take care of him. Despite everything, she loves Ray and would do anything for him... But even she wasn't budging about letting me back into the house unless I was willing to cut ties with Christian. Not happening. I've been talking to my father pretty frequently and he pretty much avoids the topic when we are on the phone. I wonder how that will work today. Today, I've been summoned home after 14 days away from the only place I've ever known. And what's worse is Christian has been summoned as well._

"You look beautiful" I feel his breath on my ear and my eyes meet his in the bathroom mirror.

I turn in his arms and take him in. Damn this man was truly a God. "Thank you, you're not so bad yourself" I say biting my bottom lip.

He pulls my lip from between my teeth. "Don't or we will be late. And I'm sure explaining to your parents that we were late because I was fucking you within an inch of your life wouldn't go over too well"

She shrugs. "I can't believe I agreed to this. This is going to be a disaster"

"It's not going to be that bad, angel" he says cupping my cheek.

"I'm sorry were you not here the last time I spoke to my mother?"

"This is different"

"How?"

"Well you've been living here the last two weeks... I'm sure your mother was expecting that I would have asked you to leave by now."

"You still can"

He narrows his eyes before rolling them. "Before or after we get back from Paris?"

I smile thinking about how I'll be spending my spring break with this perfect man I'm in love with. Me. Paris. Christian. Wow. I hope we even make it out of the hotel room. I giggle to myself.

"Something funny?" He asks as he studies me.

"Just thinking about you and me in Paris... and whether or not I'll see more than just a Parisian hotel room"

He shoots me a look that makes everything tighten. "I'll let you out for sightseeing purposes only" he whispers in my ear before placing a kiss on my neck.

I giggle and push him gently relishing in the fact that in two weeks I've been able to touch his chest more and more. It astonishes him just as much that he feels nothing but pleasure when I touch him. "Let's get this over with" I groan.

"Hey" he says grabbing my hand and squeezing to get my attention. I look up at his stormy grey eyes and he leans in and places a gentle kiss on my lips. "No matter what happens today, nothing changes between us. Do you understand?" I nod. "Answer me Anastasia" he says sternly

"Yes" I say weakly. Every once in a while his inner dom resurfaces and it does nothing but turn me on. _Sadly, he's yet to take me into his playroom. And I've tried everything. Rolling my eyes, turning up my smart remarks, wearing short skirts to school. Nothing_.

"We are in this together"

"Yes" He kisses my forehead and I sigh. Could this man be any sweeter to me? "When are you going to take me to your playroom?" I blurt out.

He looks at me and I can see he's having an internal battle between being turned on and taking me there now and coming up with another excuse as to why he can't. But the frustration is evident on his perfectly structured face. "Ana we've talked about this"

"No, you've talked."

"Ana..."

"I know you want it. I know you crave the control. And you and I both know outside of those four walls you can't expect submission from me" I say raising an eyebrow.

He chuckles. "I know. Let's not talk about this now. We need to get to your parents. We can discuss it later"

"No." I say putting my hands on my hips. "You've been avoiding talking about it for weeks. I just- I want to try it. You're not.. her. I know that's what you're afraid of. Doing to me what she did to you. Hurting me, breaking me.. changing me. Don't you get that I want.. you? And I know you want this"

"Dammit Ana, can't you just drop it?" He snaps at me and I furrow my brow in confusion. He's never talked to me like that before and I'm almost speechless by his attitude. He sighs when he sees the look on my face and his features soften. "I'm sorry I snapped, I just don't want to talk about this anymore"

"Fine" I say softly. I shake my head before walking out of the room. "Let's go then"

XXXXXXXX

We are sitting outside my parents house and I'm trying to decide if I want to go in or just blow this catastrophe in the making off completely. My rational side wins out and soon we are walking through my front door.

"Dad?" I call out to the only reason we are here in the first place. Christian and I have talked about the future quite a bit, and the more we did the more I realized he needed to know my father. The only other man that's had my heart.

"In here Annie" he calls from the living room.

I give Christian's hand a gentle squeeze and move towards the sound of the television. I walk in and find him in his chair watching television.

"Dad!" I rush to his side and he slowly stands pulling me into a hug.

"Hi pumpkin" he squeezes gently before kissing the top of my head.

I look him over. "You look great, Dad"

"Good day" he nods. He never talked about being sick, and most of the time he's in denial about how bad the situation is. That or maybe he's accepted it. I always forget the order of those stages of grief. He nods towards Christian. "This must be the reason I'm not getting any peace"

I shake my head. "She's overreacting and you know it"

"Anastasia" he warns.

"Dad, this is Christian. Christian this is my father Ray Steele"

"Mr. Steele, it's a honor to meet you, sir. Ana has told me so much about you"

"I've heard quite a bit about you too, son" Ray says as he shakes his hand before sitting back down.

"Don't listen to what mom says. She doesn't even know him, Dad"

"Do you?" He asks raising an eyebrow at her.

"Dad..." I start.

"How old are you anyway, son?"

"Twenty three, sir"

"Couldn't find someone a bit closer to your age? Six years is a bit of a difference especially at Ana's age. She's in high school and you're out of college and running a business.. a very successful business from what I've read" I gasp at my fathers obvious snooping. "Did you think I wouldn't try to find all the info on the fellow that my daughter is living with?" He looks at us both.

"Mr Steele, I know how this looks to... everyone. And I would be lying if I told you that I didn't try to stop how I was feeling but" he looks at me and smiles before taking a deep breath. "I love her"

My mouth drops open at this open declaration of love to my father when the moment is ruined by my mother.

"Oh please!" Carla exclaims from the doorway.

I turn and immediately my face turns red. "Mother!"

"Carla, you said you were going to give them a chance" my father warns.

"Are you buying that malarkey, Ray?"

"It's not, mother! Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone might love me?"

"Don't twist my words, Ana. You're being dramatic. You've known each other five minutes and you're this intense already? I've seen this before. Relationships that start off so intense and heavy so quickly and they fizzle out. The heat and passion burns out. And you're so young Ana... no one finds the person they're meant to be with this early"

"I'm not just anyone. And was this the point of this? Because if so we are out of here. I thought you wanted to get to know the man your daughter is in love with" I snap.

"Fine, dinner should be ready soon" and with that she's gone.

"I've never known her to be like this" I say to my father. "She's always been so supportive and caring and.. not like this"

"She just wants to protect you, sweet pea" he says getting up from the chair and moving towards the dining room. He kisses my head. "And Annie, you are the most lovable person I know, that is NOT hard to believe" He says referencing my comment and then he's gone too.

I let out a breath and bite my bottom lip when I feel fingers removing it. "Don't" he says before pressing a kiss to my forehead where wrinkles are from my frowning. He touches it gently and my face softens. "Don't make that face. Everything is okay" he whispers. "We are still okay" he says pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek. "I love you" he murmurs in my ear.

"I know that you love me" I whisper back. "I don't know you won't... ever leave me"

His brows furrow matching mine. "Why are you letting them get in your head?"

I shrug. "I just..." I trail off and notice that the house is quiet and more likely I've attracted an audience. "Let's just talk about it later"

"No" he barks.

"Wh-what?"

"You can't say something like that to me and expect me to drop it." He sits on my couch and holds a hand out to me. "Come"

I move and within a second I'm in his lap and he's crushed me to his chest. "I love you so much, do you know that? Already I know..." he trails off. He lowers his voice so that only I can hear. "I'm not going anywhere"

I smile as he rubs his nose against mine and nuzzles my cheek. "Okay"

"Say you believe me"

"I believe you"

"Good, lets go eat and then get out of here so I can eat you" he growls in my ear.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The dinner goes by in virtual silence when Carla sits her fork and knife down. "Are you ready for next Saturday?"

"Of course" I say.

"How are you going to get there? It's in Oregon?"

"Drive?"

"Your car? No no that actually is going to be here"

"What?" I ask.

"Did you think you were going to move out and we would let you keep the car we paid for? And keep paying your insurance?"

"You've let me keep the car so far?"

"Yes, but we realized we really can't reward this type of behavior"

"Reward? Mom I'm driving to school" I say.

"And you can continue driving when you come home. Until then I'd like the keys to my car back"

"My car is still at Christians. I don't even have the keys on me"

"Not needed, I'll be by to get it soon"

"Are you kidding? How am I supposed to get to school?"

"You'll figure that out I'm sure"

I scoff at her. "If this is supposed to make me want to come home you've officially lost it"

"Anastasia, enough" Ray says.

"Are you serious, Dad? You're going to take away my car?"

"You're lucky I don't take away your phone, but I know that's pointless as I know you have another one" Carla says.

"And how in the world do you know that"

"Because I've been monitoring your text messages and calls and there's been nothing between you two the last month"

"Well whatever I might have is really none of your concern"

Carla chuckles. "You really think you've got it all figured out, don't you? And so young too! You must think you're the first young woman that's gotten way in over her head thinking she's in love. Where everything is just rainbows and butterflies and passion and what... hot sex?" My eyes widen at that and I know I'm bright red as I completely avoid my fathers gaze. "You think it'll always be this easy?" She gets up from the table and looks at her. "I gave you everything. And this... this is how you repay me? This giant 'fuck you' because I won't allow you to sleep at your boyfriends house? You've known your father and me your entire life and you choose this man you've known for a month? I thought I raised you better than that. I guess not. And for that I only blame myself" She storms out of the room and up the stairs.

The tears flood my eyes as I look at my father. "You know it's not just that. You told me I had to... give him up completely!"

He clears his throat and looks at her. "Christian can you give us a minute?"

"Yes sir" he says getting up and leaving the room.

 **CPOV**

I let out a deep breath and I'm surprised to look up to see Carla sitting on the stairs staring at me.

"Mrs. Steele" I nod.

She shakes her head at me and I prepare myself for the worst of it. "You think you can take care of her?"

"I know I can"

"Oh really? Her ballet practices, and school, her dance practices... she's a child Christian. I make her doctors and dentist appointments, help her study for her tests, I have been behind her 100 percent her entire life."

"Until now" I interrupt her.

"Because she's throwing it all away! I see the signs!"

"And that means she doesn't deserve your support?"

"She left here Christian, I didn't leave her"

"Because you backed her into a corner!"

"And she chose you over her family"

"She doesn't see it that way"

"I'll be here for her always, and when you leave her and she's heartbroken I'll be there to pick up the pieces" Carla says before storming up the stairs.

I rub a hand over my eyes when I hear a sniffle only to look to my right to see my angel looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"Baby come here" I say opening my arms and she bolts for me. Soon she's in my arms sobbing her eyes out. "Shhh calm down, what did you hear?"

"All of it. They hate me, both of them"

"That's your takeaway from all of that? No sweetheart, they don't hate you. They love you, and they only want what's best for you"

"Can't they see that you're what's best for me? That you make me so happy?"

"We see that. But I understand their skepticism"

She shoots me a look as if I've grown another head. "What does that mean?"

"It means if this was my daughter I would be skeptical about any guy"

"Are you telling me I shouldn't trust you?"

"No, Anastasia that's not what I'm saying and if we are going to do this I would rather that we aren't in your parents foyer"

XXXXXXXXXXX

 **APOV**

We are sitting in the car when Christian gets a call from Elliott. I'm only half listening as the conversations with my parents and with Christian are playing in my mind on a loop. I'm so exhausted by all of it, all I want to do is curl up in a ball and fall off the face of the earth for a few days. Thank God tomorrow was Saturday.

"Honey I hope you're not worried about the car situation" Christian interrupts my thoughts.

I look at him. "I wasn't, no" I say before looking out the window.

"We'll go pick one out for you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure" I say still not looking at him.

"Thank you, Christian. Perhaps, I should show you my gratitude by sucking that magnificent dick of yours" he says in a high pitched voice imitating me. I shoot him a look and he stops laughing. "What's wrong, baby?"

"You mean besides the obvious? And I don't know you siding with my parents surely didn't help"

"I didn't side with them, Anastasia. Get real"

"You get real" I snap petulantly.

"Mature"

"How can you understand where they're coming from... everything they said about you and me and us? How do you understand that?"

"How can you not? Sure they don't know me.. but they know you and they're worried! That's what parents do, they worry"

"I guess I'm just as young and naive as everyone says, that I can't possibly understand why my parents are acting this way"

"Anastasia stop it."

"They're so disappointed in me"

"They'll come around" he says pulling me into his lap and breathing me in deeply. "I can hear your mind racing a mile a minute" he says after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm okay."

"Anastasia don't lie to me"

"What did your brother want?"

"He wanted us to come to the club tonight?"

"What club?"

"You know which one" He says nuzzling my neck. "The one where we met. But I told him no. That we needed some time alone"

"No"

"No?" He looks at me surprised.

"I just mean we should go. I'm sure he'll be with Kate and I haven't seen her much outside of school. We should go. And you've hardly gone out the last few weeks"

"I didn't go out much before you, Ana. I've never been a big partier"

"I still think we should go"

"If this is what you want" he sighs and I nod.

XXXXXXXXXX

Later that night we are on the way to the club and I have to admit I am acting like a brat. I've barely let him touch me and I've basically been silent the entire ride over. We pull up to the front and I make a move for the handle when I feel a hand wrapping around my wrist and being hauled into Christians lap. He puts a leg over my legs trapping me in place and cups my face. "Okay look. I know you're upset... I guess at me as well or just the world I don't know and that's fine. But you wanted to come out tonight and you wanted to come here. So that means this little attitude you have? You need to check it at the door. I mean it. You know how it works in there, Anastasia."

I look down feeling like I've been scolded and nod my head. "Yes sir"

He sighs and I feel his arms around me. "Angel, tell me what's wrong. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything. I'm sorry I'm taking this out on you"

He nods before pressing a short kiss to my lips and it makes me wonder what in the world I did to deserve him. He really was too perfect. "Remember what I told you"

"Eyes and sir or master, got it. Difference is this time I actually do belong to you" I smile

"You belonged to me then too Anastasia"

I nuzzle my face in his neck and breathe in his scent. "I know"

"We don't have to go, Anastasia. We can go right back home"

"No. Let's go"

The club is as loud as I remember it only this time, the heat between Christian and I is much more palpable. We move to the bar and he orders me a coke and a gin and tonic for himself before pulling me into a booth.

"Where are Kate and Elliott?" I say taking a sip.

"They're... busy" he says looking at me.

"Oh" I say my lips forming a dramatic O shape. "Can we go in one of those?"

"Ana..."

"What! Not one of those where we have an audience but it could be fun?"

"I won't take you in our playroom at home but you think I'll take you to one here?" He says raising an eyebrow at me.

I shake my head. "Whatever"

"Anastasia" he says using his dom voice.

"Sorry sir" I mumble. "I have to use the ladies room" I say. "Do you need to come with me?"

"Yes" he says immediately.

"Of course you do" I say causing him to slap my bottom when I leave the booth.

I'm finishing my business and run a hand through my hair before leaving the bathroom. I had left Christian right outside of the ladies room and when I emerge I am shocked to see a woman batting her eyelashes at him. A woman that looks almost exactly like... well me. _What. The. Fuck._

I approach them right as I hear. "But sir we were so good together" and I lose it.

"Can we help you?" I says clasping Christians hand with mine. And I feel slightly irritated that he stiffens next to me. _Is he guilty? Ashamed? What the hell_.

"Um no sweetheart, Master and I were just talking. Now run along and play. Are you even old enough to be here?"

"Leila enough" he barks and I'm shocked that her eyes find the floor almost immediately.

"Sorry sir" she says softly.

"Are you kidding me?" I say immediately as I pull my hand from his grasp. "Her?"

"Anastasia don't." he snaps at me and I can't stop the tears forming in my eyes.

"I'm leaving." I say.

"Wait." He says and I wonder if it's my boyfriend pleading with me or the dom commanding me.

"Master, let her go. I can tell she doesn't understand"

"Leila stop it. This is not going to happen, ever."

"Are you her master now?" She asks and I snort earning a glare from Christian.

"That is none of your concern, Leila. I urged you to move on when I ended it. Do that"

"She can't please you, like I can"

I think he can see the hurt in my face by her comment because within a second he's in her face. "Leila you are testing my fucking patience. Stay away from me and Anastasia. I mean it."

"You're different with her" she replies.

I think she might continue but I'm yanked away from her down a long hallway and pulled into a room. Christian slams the door behind us and he's still facing the door breathing hard.

"Christian..." I start. I wonder what he's going to do as my body has come alive the second he slammed the door.

"Not now"

"Not now? You didn't even fucking correct her. Why didn't you tell her we were more? That I was your sub ANYTHING that would say that you belong to me"

He turns to face me and stalks towards me. "I do belong to you"

"Why didn't you tell her that? And what even happen before I came out there?"

"Nothing. She approached me and I told her to stop and then you came out"

"You certainly looked fucking guilty"

"Guilty for what? Having a past? You may have been a virgin when we met but I was not"

"You seemed so uncomfortable when I held your hand. When I tried to make it clear that we were together... why?"

"Because we are here, Anastasia!" He pulls at his hair. "FUCK!" He roars. "It's hard having you here because I'm torn between treating you like a sub and the woman that I love."

"Why can't I be both?"

"If we were out on the streets and this happened I would have been turned the fuck on seeing you mark your claim on me. But here... it's different. You can't lash out like that. Not around... me. There are rules on how subs behave"

"Whatever Christian. If you want to be with that girl spare me all of this"

"How dare you" he grabs my wrist hard. "How dare you question my feelings for you"

"I stood up to my parents over you and you can't put some old girlfriend in her place? Are you kidding?"

He sighs. "Baby she is not an old girlfriend."

"Old sub, old girlfriend. Tomato tomahto."

"There's a difference. You are the first girlfriend I ever had"

"Do I please you?"

"What?"

"She said I couldn't please you... like she can"

He looks at me with a look that could turn me to stone and I wonder if I've struck a nerve. "Anastasia let's go"

"But-"

"No buts. Move it, now Anastasia"

"Or what?" I say. "I'm not leaving till you answer my question. I'm not leaving till you make me feel like I didn't make a huge mistake turning my goddamn life upside down for you"

"AND I DIDN'T? Jesus Christ Ana you do actually see the differences in our... lifestyles, right? We are in completely different phases in our life. Do you really not see it?" He barks. "You're acting like you're the only one that's changed their life for this"

"I-I know you have" I stammer.

"Ana.. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer with Leila. But cut me some slack I've never had... I didn't know how to explain you"

"I'm your girlfriend"

"I'm fully aware"

"Are you? Why couldn't you tell her that? Why didn't you tell her that I do please you? That I'm... more"

"Dammit! I don't know!" He moves towards me and within a second he's on his knees. "Baby I'm sorry." My eyes widen at this display before me. _Is he... groveling_? "I made a mistake... I should have told her. Set her straight. You do own me." He grabs my hand and kisses it lightly. "You know how I feel about you, don't you?"

I nod. "I don't want to feel like I can't... stake my claim on you." I narrow my eyes at him. "You all but pee on me when anyone glances in my direction! Here, on the streets, anywhere! Sorry I don't relish in the fact in some girl you used to fuck hitting on you and you doing nothing about it!"

"She wasn't exactly hitting on me" he says getting up from his knees. _Guess the groveling is over._

"SEMANTICS" I growl. "How dare you defend her!"

"She didn't know I was involved with anyone"

"God we are talking in circles. All I wanted was for you to tell her to back off"

"And I'm SORRY that I didn't! For the last time, Jesus"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Whatever. I want to go find Kate. Take me to her. NOW"

"She's-"

"I don't give a fuck. I want to find my friend, maybe she can teach me a thing or two about what it's like to date such a narcissistic asshole" I say narrowing my eyes at him before storming out the door.

I hear him hot on my tail and he grabs my hand yanking me to him. "Don't you fucking dare"

"Watch me" I say before I'm in the club, looking at _everyone_.

I feel him whip me around and he's staring at me angrily before his eyes soften. "My kitten has claws" My demeanor changes at his attempt at humor. "And evidently a jealous streak"

"You are mine, Grey. Just like I am yours"

"Yes" he says stroking my cheek. "And we are leaving"

"But-"

"No buts. You wanted to go in the playroom so bad. Well young lady, you've got it"

My eyes widen at his words. "Really?"

"I wouldn't be so excited if I were you. You've got a month and a half of punishments coming your way. And tonight... you'll be lucky if you can walk tomorrow"

 **A/N: Next up- my first attempt at a playroom scene. Wish me luck!**


	7. Safe (And Unsafe) Words

I stand outside of the room that I know no doubt will change my life when I feel his presence behind me. I finger the door handle when I feel his hand wrapping around mine and being brought to warm lips. "You sure you're ready for this?"

I look up into his grey eyes and capture my bottom lip in my teeth and nod. "Yes please" I whisper.

He touches my cheek gently. "My beautiful, brave girl. So anxious, so curious"

"Down the rabbit hole" I whisper back, repeating the words from the first night I met him. "I- I just want to please you"

"You do please me, every day. Every minute." He tucks a hair behind my ear. "But you don't have to do this, angel. You please me by being you"

I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. "Just open the door. I want this.. with you. I love you" I smile.

He smiles at me and then it's gone and part of me wants him to tell me he loves me too before I go in this room... before we start this but I don't dare ask, now.

"Inside, Anastasia" he opens the door and ushers me inside. He turns on the light and my eyes widen as I take in my surroundings. "Oh. my. God" I whisper.

My eyes go to the walls, the ceiling, and they widen as I look at all of the implements. _What in the world have I gotten myself in to?_ "Are you okay?" He comes up behind me and murmurs in my ear.

I nod my head. "Yes" I turn to face him and look up into his eyes before casting my eyes to the floor. "Shit" I whisper. "I can't look at you?"

He raises my chin to look at him. "The same rules don't apply to you, Miss Steele" I bite my bottom lip before looking back down. "Eyes" I look up and eye him curiously. "Eyes on me at all times"

"I thought-"

"I need to see those beautiful baby blues when I make love to you"

"Make love? Is that what you call it in here?"

"It's what I call it with you"

"No" I shake my head as I walk to the middle of the room. I turn around and put my hands on my hips.

"No?" He asks me raising an eyebrow as if he's asking who the fuck I'm talking to.

"I don't want you to make love to me. Not here. I want you to fuck me. Hard. How you've fucked other..." I blanch thinking about the man I love's sexual history. "I want the full dominant experience. The full Christian Grey experience"

He approaches me cautiously as if I'm a skittish deer. He rubs a hand over my cheek and gives me a small smile and just as quick as it comes it goes. He circles me once before stopping to stand behind me. He pulls my hair and begins to braid it into a French braid when he stops and pulls it out. I furrow my brow wondering what the hell this man is doing when I feel him pull it into a ponytail at the back of my head. He spins me around and winks at me. "Better. Now Miss Steele, strip. _Slowly_ "

I feel my body temperature start to rise even as I pull the sweater dress over my head. I look at him for the push to continue and he nods at me. I reach my hands behind my back and unclasp my bra letting it slide down my arms and the sound of it hitting the ground is amplified in the quiet room. My eyes find his again and smile inwardly when I find his orbs glued to my chest with a hungry look that heats my core. "Panties too, sir?"

The fire in his eyes isn't lost on me as he nods. "Off, _now_ "

I hook my thumbs into my panties and slide them down my legs running my fingertips up my thighs and stand before him without a stitch of clothing and for the first time I am unashamed of my nakedness. I look him square in the eyes and I give him a somewhat cocky smirk. "What now?" I say giving him a shrug.

He walks towards me slowly. "The confidence is sexy Miss Steele, I approve" he says. "Where's this coming from?"

I blink my eyes a few times. "You.. sir"

He smiles at me. "You're turning me into a shit dom, Anastasia"

"I'm sorry, sir. What... what should I do?"

"There are safe words" he says.

"Wha-what?" I ask as my eyes widen at the word 'safe' like there's a chance that I could be in harms way.

"Red and yellow"

"Red and yellow, sir?"

"Red means I stop. If at any point it becomes too much and I'll stop. Immediately"

"Okay"

"I mean it. You say it and I'll stop. I would never want to hurt you"

"You could never hurt me"

"Yellow means to slow down"

"Like a traffic light?"

He chuckles. "Yes, angel. Like a traffic light"

I smile at his term of endearment and nod. "Red and yellow, got it"

"Kneel" he says. "Right there" he points to a corner in the room. I move and kneel and look at him for further instruction. "Eyes down" I do so and I feel him circling around me. "Shit." He groans. "You look so gorgeous like this"

"This... pleases you? Sir?"

"Yes. This is how you would wait for me"

"Wait for you?"

"While I change"

"I see. I'll wait here... sir"

"Oh I'm not-" he hesitates and I wait for him to continue but he doesn't. I want to look up but don't want to disobey him. I don't know how long I'm looking at the same spot on the floor when I see bare feet come into view. "Look at me"

I look up and can't stop the gasp from escaping my lips as I take in the hottest man I've ever seen in my life- shirtless wearing a pair of ripped blue jeans. "Wow" I breathe out and immediately my hand clamps over my mouth.

He chuckles and holds his hand out lifting me to my feet. "Speak" he commands.

"You... you look hot"

"Why thank you, Miss Steele"

"Is this... this is what you wear?"

"To start"

I gulp nervously as if this man hasn't taken me in probably every position known to man. "I see" At this point I've noticed that he's got one hand behind his back. I try to crane my neck without being too obvious to see what he has but he brings it into view revealing a riding crop. My eyes widen at what looks like a whip and I can't stop the involuntary wince.

He backs up a few steps and holds his hand out to me. "Put your hand out" I eye him nervously and he raises an eyebrow. "Anastasia this won't work if you don't trust me. If you are afraid of me. Are you afraid of me?"

"No" I say immediately.

"Do you trust me?" He asks.

"In theory?" I quip.

"No smart mouth in here, young lady. But humor me, what does that mean?"

"I just... you yourself have said that I am different and I just wonder how you will fare in here... with me. What if you lose control?"

"I wouldn't allow it to get that far"

I nod. "I trust Christian my boyfriend... Of course. I just don't know much about Christian the dom"

"Where was this skepticism _before_ I brought you in here? You want to do this now? While you're naked? _And_ in here? Talk about great timing" he says sarcastically.

"I trust you. I trust you... all fifty shades of you" I smile recalling him referring to himself as such.

"I would _never_ hurt you" he says rubbing a hand down my cheek. "I love you... with what little bit of heart I have. I love you with all of it"

I feel myself sigh a breath of relief I didn't realize I was holding. "I think you have a... beautiful big heart"

"I didn't tell you I loved you"

"What?"

"When you said you loved me, I didn't say it back before we came in. I should have assured you before we came in here"

"I know you love me"

"Do you?"

"Yes sir"

"Ana" he puts his hands on my naked shoulders.

"Yes... Christian?"

"Tell me that you know how I feel about you?"

"I know how you feel about me" I say.

"Good. Now don't make me tell you again. Put your hand out, palm up." I do as I'm told. He rubs the riding crop around my palm before raising it and bringing it down hard but not too hard on my hand. "Did that hurt?"

"No sir"

"See. There's nothing to be afraid of"

"I... I know. It's just the fear of the unknown.. sir" I say before letting my eyes drop to the ground.

"Come" he says pulling me to the center of the room. "Arms up"

I raise them and before I can blink they're cuffed to some sort of hooks in the ceiling. My eyes widen at the feeling of not being able to use my hands. The feeling of restraint scaring me but the feeling of doing this with Christian calming my nerves.

"Words, Ana"

"Red and yellow sir"

He walks around me and soon I feel his hands tracing up my backside before I feel breath against it and my eyes widen. Soon I feel his teeth nibbling on my left cheek and I giggle at the feeling. I yelp when the nibble turns to a bite that I know has left teeth marks. I pull at the restraints and close my eyes giving in to the feeling of tongue and teeth moving over my cheeks when he pushes my legs apart. I look down in time to see two fingers coming between my legs and entering my slick folds. _Fuck. The things this man can fucking do._

"How does that feel, Anastasia" he whispers against my skin.

I tip my head back and groan relishing in the feeling of this man's index finger stroking my clit. "So good, sir." I feel myself racing towards an orgasm when I feel his fingers leave me. My eyes fly open and I raise my head to look down in the attempt to see where his hand left went. I frown when I feel him stand behind me and soon he's in front of me.

"Do you think you deserve to come, Anastasia?"

"Yes?" I say weakly.

"Oh?" He says taking another lap around me. _It's as if he's a lion and I'm his prey. A helpless animal... like... a gazelle? I wish he would stop circling me like this, he's making me fucking dizzy._ "After your behavior at the club tonight? After your little outburst with Leila?"

"You said you understood" I grit out feeling that was a low blow for him to bring her up when I'm this naked and exposed and vulnerable.

"Oh I do, but you still misbehaved tonight. You know how to act in that club and you brought your claws and evidently your inner dom out"

"I-"

"And it's not just that, Anastasia. Do you know how many times I've had to stow my twitchy palm? All of your eye rolls, and smart comments, those tiny fucking skirts you insist on wearing to school to tease the ever living fuck out of me. You're getting punished for all of that tonight"

I nod, knowing that arguing with him is pointless unless I'm planning to safe word. _And there is no way that's happening. I've waited too long for this. Man up, Steele. Stop acting like a baby._ "Yes sir"

I feel the riding crop trailing across my skin as he moves around me again and then I feel SMACK. I'm not sure if I feel it or hear it first but I yelp in surprise. "Did that hurt?"

I bite my bottom lip trying to hide the smile creeping on to my face. _I feel fucking incredible_. "No sir"

"That's my good girl"

I feel his erection poking my back as he moves my hair to the side and nuzzles my neck. "Tell me who you belong to, Anastasia"

"You... sir"

I feel his hand moving to my sex and cupping it possessively. "Tell me who _this_ belongs to"

"You" I moan out as he begins to touch me again. _God dammit let me come this time, please_

"You respond so well to me" he pulls his hand away and I whimper. _Whyyyyyyy._ "You'll come when I'm ready for you to come"

"But-" I start when all of a sudden he's in front of me giving me a look that even I understand. _Whoa. Dom Christian is in the building._

"Words" he growls.

"Red and yellow" I repeat.

"Good girl"

A smile ghosts over my lips when I feel the riding crop again but this time instead of my ass it's against the slick muscle between my legs. The muscle that's slightly protruding out of me after his probing. "Fuck" I moan out.

"Language" he barks.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I feel the crop a few more times. My ass, my clit, my ass again. _God who knew a spanking would feel so good. But I need to come. I'm so wound up if he just looks at my clit, I may come. How am I supposed to hold off an orgasm till he says? Aren't these things kind of like... involuntary? I mean maybe after years of practice but I just got off the bench for Christ sakes. He can't expect me to already know how to... do things?_

"Stop thinking." My thoughts are interrupted by Christian's voice and soon his face is in my view. "Red?" He asks.

"No sir"

"Talk to me"

"I'm okay"

He smiles at me. "You're perfect, you're doing so well" he murmurs in my ear.

"Something tells me you're going easy on me"

"Must be all the vanilla" he winks.

"If this were vanilla I would have come already. Twice" I say

"Such a smart mouth even while you're shackled to my ceiling. You've got balls, Steele"

"Maybe I like to rile you up, sir"

"Oh I know you do. And as much as I would love to continue making your ass a beautiful shade of pink, I need to be inside of you"

 _FINALLY_. "Yes sir" I purr and he smiles. He lifts my legs to wrap around his waist and I feel one hand cupping my bottom as he guides me onto his dick.

"Are you okay?"

"You're asking me that... now?" I ask as I attempt to move my body forward to slide up and down on him. _Damn being cuffed to the fucking ceiling_. I look up and curse this position when all I want to do is wind my hands through his hair, or use my hands as leverage on his chest as I ride his dick. _This no hands life is for the birds. I guess other girls couldn't touch his chest so this would be ideal for him._

"How are your arms?"

"Green" I giggle.

He looks at me curiously before chuckling before getting my joke. "Only you"

He looks into my eyes as we are so close our noses are almost touching. I never thought that I would ever be eye to eye with Christian during sex in this capacity. But at this moment with him fully sheathed inside of me I feel the connection through every part of our bodies. It's so much more than the physical connection. This man is looking into my fucking soul right now. "Baby move pleeeeease" I groan out after what feels like an hour of him just sitting inside of me.

"Baby huh?"

"Sir... please?"

I feel him starting to rock in and out of me slowly when his lips find mine in a slow moving dance. "I prefer baby" he whispers against my lips and I don't have the chance to reply as his tongue quickly pushes his way through my lips to find mine. I feel his hand behind my head keeping our lips connected as he begins to pound into me harder and harder. And I take a second to admire how strong his leg muscles must be as he's somewhat holding me up and doing all of the work as I am pretty much helpless right now. "Anastasia you're getting close" he says as he pulls away from me.

"Yes, sir."

"I feel you.. you're quivering around me baby, come on"

"I can come?" I feel his tongue drawing circles behind my ear and I shudder. _Thank fuck._

"Yes Anastasia, come with me"

After a few more pumps, I feel myself at the edge waiting to jump when I start to feel the beginnings of his orgasm. "Jesus fucking Christ, Ana" he groans and it's as if bringing this sex God to a mind blowing orgasm was enough. feel the familiar feeling in my toes before it shoots through my body. He pushes us through both of our orgasms and slows his strokes but continues his thrusts and I look down to see it in action and if it's not the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen. My mouth drops open and I squeeze my eyes shut trying to burn the image into my corneas forever. I open them again and gaze into the eyes of my lover who had obviously been watching me with equal interest. "Wow" I say in reference to actually seeing sex so... up close and personal. "I never..." I start. "You're incredible"

He smiles at me before unshackling my arms that feel like Jell-O at this point and they immediately fall around his neck as he carries me to the bed in the middle of the room. "You're the incredible one"

"Wow... that was all so hot and intense and..." I sit up despite the fact that my limbs feel like wet noodles. "You do this...? This is the only way you have sex usually?"

"Anastasia..."

"I'm just curious"

"Well you got away with a lot more than most submissives"

"I tried to stay in character"

"I know, I'm proud" he chuckles before nuzzling my neck.

I feel him moving down my body placing kisses on my nipples, my stomach, my thighs and then I feel his breath at my core. I know what he's doing and I can't escape the taboo, sexy feeling that he's going to go down on me moments after he unloaded his seed inside of me. I feel his tongue inside of me and my hands immediately go to his hair and I pull, _hard_. My sex is raw and sensitive and him thrusting this wet muscle inside of me is making me build again, quick.

"We taste so good together" he whispers pulling his face away from my sex. I open my eyes to look down and catch a glimpse at him and I almost come from the sight of him. Sweat on his brow, his lips glistening with the mix of our arousals and the lust in his eyes. It was all too much. He goes back to his assault on my pussy and within minutes he's bringing me to another mind blowing orgasm. "Christian" I moan as I hold his face against my core as I ride out the rest of it as I move against his face. "For the love of Goddddd" I say removing my hands from his head and running them down my face. I don't even feel my body move but by the time Christian is on his back I'm straddling him, riding him. _Hard_. This was going to be a long night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because I wake up in the bed I share with Christian with him stroking my head lightly. My head and hand are resting on his chest and my leg is resting across his. I go to move off of him when I feel him clutch me tighter. "Hi" he whispers into the dark and I'm instantly soothed by his voice.

"Hi" I whisper back. I feel him gently shift and I squint when he turns the side table on. "What time is it?"

"About 3 am"

"Have you been up this whole time?"

"Mmmmhm" he says

"What have you been doing?"

"Watching and listening to you sleep, mostly"

"I must be fascinating" I chuckle

"You are. Everything you do fascinates me"

I move my head from lying on his chest to letting my chin rest on it so I can look up at him. "Can we do that again?"

"The playroom?"

"Yes"

"If that's what you want"

"I want it all with you. I want to explore... anything. Because I trust that you'll take care of me... and us. And maybe one day I'll know what I'm doing enough to take the reigns"

"Anastasia you're already pretty great in bed"

I blush at his words. "That's nice to hear"

"Too bad no one will ever get to see your talent"

"No one?" I ask raising my eyebrows cheekily.

"You think I'm ever giving you up?"

I swallow at the intensity of his words. "No. I don't"

"I am truly sorry about what happened earlier... with Leila"

I nod not fully grasping my feelings on the matter to begin with. I really don't want to hash this out with him now. "Is she going to be a problem?"

"No angel. I'll take care of it"

"How?"

"I'll remind her of the NDA and-"

"You're going to see her again?" I ask sitting up.

"You can't possibly be-"

"Jealous? Oh I'm there. I'm woman enough to admit that I don't want the man I love to have contact with an ex girlfriend, ex submissive, ex whatever if she can't respect our relationship and me as your girlfriend"

He sighs. "Okay"

"Okay? Wow that was... surprisingly easy" I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't lie to me"

"I would never." He says putting his hands up. "I can see that this bothers you.. I don't want that. I don't want there to be any shit between us, _ever_."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm bounding down the stairs of Christian's penthouse as I beeline for the kitchen. I can't believe how late I am. Well actually I can. Christian and I couldn't get out of the shower this morning to save our lives. _Fridays, man._ I smirk to myself as I grab the lunch Gail prepared for me. Christian hired a house manager a few weeks ago who is absolutely terrific.

"Hey hey hey where's the fire?" Christian says pulling me into his arms. "And were you just going to leave without a kiss?"

"I'm sorry" I say looking at my watch. "I am so fucking late" I say planting a loud smack on his lips.

"Drive safely"

"Yes I will. I can't wait to take my new car out" I giggle thinking about my brand new 2017 Volkswagon. Christian wanted to buy me some insanely expensive Audi but I had to remind him that I was going to be driving this car to _high school_. I really didn't need to draw attention to that kind of car. It was bad enough that I was getting a 2017 model.

"Don't get too attached, you're getting an Audi for graduation" he says walking away.

"But I already like this one!"

"Audis are safer baby"

"And Volkswagons are the cheaper, just as safe cousin of the Audi"

"Aren't you late?" Christian asks changing the subject. _This isn't over, Grey._

"SHIT! You're right" I say bolting for the elevator. "I love you!" I call over my shoulder.

"Love you too, baby. No texting and driving"

I flick him off from the elevator at his annoying attempt to be 'parental.' Just as the doors close I get a text message and I giggle as I know exactly who it is.

 **You'll pay for that one later, Miss Steele. X**

 _ **Looking forward to it. Xxx**_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a long day of school and a last minute practice before the competition tomorrow I find myself dragging myself into the penthouse. It's eerily quiet when I plop myself down at the breakfast bar and lay my head on it.

"Long day, honey?" Gail asks.

"The longest, I'm exhausted. Where's Christian?"

"Oh, he's not home yet, dear. I figured you had talked to him?"

"I don't usually text him when I'm at the studio." I pull out my phone and call him and I'm shocked he doesn't answer on the first ring.

"Baby"

"Hi where are you?"

"Still at the office, are you at home?"

The word home warms me. _Like he considers this our home. Home.. with me. I share my home with Christian. I almost can't wrap my brain around it._ "Yes, and I was hoping my wonderful boyfriend would be here to give me a full body massage"

"Oh Miss Steele, I would be happy to oblige"

A few hours later, I'm soaking my limbs in the bathtub when I hear someone shuffling through the master bedroom and soon the man I love is standing in the door jam staring at me. "What a sight to come home to" he says as he takes off his cufflinks and rolls up his sleeves.

"Dear God, you are sex on a stick" I say as I beckon him over with my finger. "Want to join me?"

"I would love to but I still have some work to do"

"Still?" I pout

"Don't give me that face. It's work I would probably be doing tomorrow"

"I can't believe you want to come to the competition" I say rolling my eyes

"Why wouldn't I want to come?"

"Because it's going to be boring"

"Nothing you do is boring, angel"

"Okay but there's 20 other teams performing.. maybe I won't be boring, but someone will bore you. Hell even I hate watching 100 minutes of pirouettes."

"100 minutes?"

"20 teams average of 5 minutes per song. You sure you don't want to back out?" I ask

"I wouldn't miss it for the world"

"Oooookay" I shrug. "By the way, we typically all go out afterwards. Someone usually throws a party... so I'm going to go after, okay?"

He furrows his brow at me slightly and I wonder if he's going to object. "I assume I probably shouldn't... come?"

"You want to come to a party with high schoolers?"

"I mean it's not like you guys won't have alcohol" he chuckles.

"You know what I mean"

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Christian says sadly.

"You can... I guess?" I say feeling bad that he appears to be feeling left out.

"No no you go with your friends"

"I won't be long"

"I know, angel. We'll celebrate when you get back" he says kissing my forehead.

I nod, even though in the pit of my stomach something tells me this is not over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"WHO in the ever loving FUCK is that man in the audience" I turn my head to see one of the girls from a rival team peeking out of the curtain. "The show isn't for another hour, he must be here with a dancer. He is gorgeous. Good GOD. I wonder if he's dating the blonde girl he's next to. But then there's another guy" she rattles on and I shake my head as the girl is definitely referring to my man, Kate and Elliott.

"Ignore her" I hear next to me as one of my best friend's on the team Hannah says. "You know your man is fine, aren't you used to it by now?"

"I guess"

"You bringing him to the party tonight?"

"No... that would be weird right?"

"No? Why would it? He's your boyfriend and he's about to sit through this boring as hell string of performances, you need to blow the party off and blow him as a thank you"

I roll my eyes at her crassness. "We always celebrate the end of competitions together"

"Yeah because we are all single due to ballet being a cruel fucking mistress. You got out, don't let it suck you back in"

"I'm not! I just... Christian didn't want me to completely change my life for him."

She shrugs. "Whatever. Tell him he's welcome, just tell him not to wear a suit and to shave. Could totally pass for some hot college guy"

I peek out through the curtains again and see Christian looking down, _no doubt probably texting me._ I smile to myself and reach for my phone and frown when I don't see a text from him. I look again and still see him staring down only this time he has a scowl on his face. _Probably work._ We go out on the stage and mark through our dance when I catch a glimpse at Christian still on his phone. _He hasn't even realized I'm up here. Sheesh I hope he doesn't work through when I'm actually performing._ After we are done, we head backstage to finish getting ready and I shoot him a text.

 **No working during my performance, Grey ;)**

 _ **I would never! No work today.**_

I frown when I see his text. _So if he's not working... what is he doing?_ I decide to put the thoughts out of my head for now and to approach it later. A few hours and several performances later, I walk out into the lobby and I am not shocked to see my boyfriend holding the biggest bouquet of red roses I have ever seen.

"YOU KILLED IT!" Kate bounces up and down before throwing her arms around me. "You're so badass"

"Thanks Kav" I giggle

"Yeah little lady, you're a rockstar" Elliott says pulling her into a hug.

"I can't believe you sat through this, what did Kate promise you? I hope something good?" I ask and he winks at me in response.

"You were incredible. You're a prima ballerina in the making, Ana" Christian says pulling me into a hug. "You outshine everyone on your team" he whispers in my ear.

"Oh you're just saying that" I giggle.

"No Anastasia, I'm not" he says seriously and I bite my bottom lip at the sincerity of his compliment. After a round of pictures, I walk backstage to collect my stuff when I see a text from my mother.

 **You were wonderful as usual, sorry couldn't stay.**

 _Well at least she came. I have to admit to myself that I did look for her in the audience while on stage and she wasn't in her usual spots. And then after I did scan the crowd of family and friends in the lobby but I didn't see her. She hasn't missed a performance since I started dancing and a part of me was crushed that she wasn't here. But she was. Maybe she doesn't hate me as much as I thought..._

We are soon back in the car on the way back from Oregon when I raise the privacy screen between Taylor and us. "Want to get frisky do ya?" Christian jokes.

"No... I" I want to ask him about what he was doing on his phone if he wasn't working but I don't want to sound so needy... clingy... annoying. So I chicken out. "My mom was there. She texted me"

"Well that's good, I know you wanted her there" he says stroking my hand before bringing it to his lips.

"Yeah" I say before looking out the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sitting in the bathroom on the side of the tub chewing on my fingernail when Christian walks in. "What are you doing?" He asks taking in my state of nervousness. "You okay?"

"If you weren't working today what were you doing?"

"What?"

"I saw you... in the audience for the first full hour. On your phone... and you said you weren't working today. So what were you doing? You're not really someone who's on your phone a lot unless it's for work. So I'm just curious" He looks at me curiously as if he doesn't know what I'm saying. "Don't. Don't you dare try and insult my intelligence"

"I wasn't..."

"Then tell me"

"Just going through emails, random shit you do on your phone during the day, I don't know"

"Are you... lying to me?"

"Of course I'm not"

I capture my lip between my teeth to prevent the tears from coming because he's _definitely_ lying. "Prove it"

"What?"

"I want to see"

"Anastasia, be serious"

"I am. I don't believe you"

"You're kidding right? You want to go through my phone? Ana that's not how this works"

"Oh?"

"No we're not in high school-" he starts before he sighs realizing his mistake.

"Well actually I am" I say narrowing my eyes at him.

"Yeah well you usually don't act like it"

"So I am now?"

"Yeah I would say so" he says leaving the bathroom.

"You asshole!" I say going after him.

"Is this you not acting like a high schooler?" He asks crossing his arms. "Do you think there's someone else? That I'm cheating on you?"

"I don't know, but I do know you're lying to me"

"About fucking what?"

"About what you were doing on your phone!"

"For the love of GOD Ana" he sighs. "HERE" he says pushing his phone towards me.

 _Now that I have it in my hand, it feels so wrong. Like he feels that I don't trust him. And I hate that._ I hand him back the phone. "Forget it." I sigh. "I have to get dressed"

I feel a hand on my arm and soon I'm being hauled into his hard chest. "Baby" he whispers in my ear. "There's no one else. I swear. Don't you trust me?"

"Yes"

"I would never hurt you, angel"

"I know" _I think._

"Maybe I should go with you?" he says.

"Now who doesn't trust who?"

"I trust you baby, I just don't like where we are right now, and I want you close by." He places his hand on my chest over my heart. "I need this close to mine"

"You really are a sap sometimes" I chuckle using my sarcasm as a defense mechanism. I am so moved by this little statement and the arch in his brow means he knows it. _Bastard_. "Fine. Come"

"Thanks for the enthusiastic invite" he says.

"Sorry. I want you there." I say before trudging back to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

 _Shit. How does this girl know me so goddamn well already? Oh right because she weaves some spell over you that even you can't comprehend. How I let someone take over my mind, body and soul so easily I will never know. I should have just told her that Leila contacted me. That I was forwarding everything to my lawyer and my therapist after having a very heated conversation with her. She would understand that right? Ana was understanding. I gulp thinking that even the most understanding of girlfriends are usually not cool with texting old girlfriends._

 **Master, I was thinking of you earlier today. I was hoping we could meet sometime soon? At the club maybe?**

 ** _Leila what part of no are you not understanding? I have moved on._ **

**With the girl you were with at the club? The ballet dancer?**

 _ **What the fuck, Leila. How the hell do you know that?**_

 **I know what is best for you Master, it's not her.**

 ** _You don't know anything about what is best for me._ **

**Anastasia does?**

 ** _STAY. AWAY. FROM. HER. I mean it, Leila._ **

**We belong together, Master.**

 _Dear God this girl was delusional. How did she get Ana's name? Was she stalking her?_ I contact her CPO, Luke Sawyer and ask if he's noticed anything unusual. But the girl is in school all day, I suppose if Leila was sneaky enough she could get into the school and figure out everything she needs to know about Ana. I rub my brow when I notice my girl sashaying through the room in nothing but a bright red bra and panties. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ I barely have time to think before she's underneath me on the bed and I am moving her panties to the side for a taste of what's underneath.

"Christian" she moans out and I smile hearing my name escape those sexy plump lips of hers. _Maybe I should tell her the truth. Okay make her come first, then truth. Orgasm. Truth. Orgasm. Truth. Okay Go._ She's coming all too quick when she sits up and looks down at me. "That was.. unexpected"

"Ana... baby. Please don't be mad at me"

She furrows her brow giving her that cute little V between her brows. "Why... would I be mad?"

"Leila contacted me... that's who I was texting. And then I was sending everything to my lawyer and therapist. Then I was trying to set her straight but I think she's just... delusional"

"Why would you lie to me about that? Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

"Because you were so adamant about me not talking to her... and I don't know I panicked"

"So you lied to me? How am I supposed to trust you?"

"You can baby I-"

"Obviously I can't if you're lying about something like this. You could have told me."

"You're so sensitive about Leila I-"

"Sensitive? That's the word you're going to use?"

"Yeeeep" I say. _Okay maybe not the time to be a smartass._

"You fucked her! Oh my God if I had ANY sort of past before you, you'd have a god damn cow if they even LOOKED in my direction"

"You're god damn right"

"So you're just a hypocrite then?"

"Leila means.. NOTHING"

"That is NOT the fucking POINT" she screams. "You're a smart guy, how are you not getting this?"

"Because it was nothing! I just... I didn't want to get in a fight, like we are now"

"We are in a fight because you lied to my face. And my mother always says if you're going to lie about the little stuff, you'll lie about the big stuff"

"Oh we're bringing your mother into this now? Because you were always SO truthful with her?"

"It's a saying! And DO NOT go there. Don't try and make this about me. I looked you in your face and asked you what you were doing and you lied when you were texting an ex girlfriend!"

"You act like we were just chatting it up! I was telling her to stay away from you! To move on! To leave me alone!"

"Did you tell her you love me?"

"What?"

"Did you tell her that you met someone and you fell in love with her.. her being me" she says crossing her arms.

"No Ana I didn't confess my undying love for you to an old submissive. She is well aware that you are different"

"She is well aware that I am probably more to you than someone you whip and fuck on the weekends"

"Watch it" I bark at her.

"Why should I? You go on and on about trust between us and you lied to my fucking face. How am I ever supposed to believe anything you say now?"

"Don't be so dramatic, Ana."

"Don't treat me like a child, Christian so help me"

"Then stop acting like it!" I worry that I've gone too far when she steps back from me the tears forming in her eyes. _I want to pull her into my arms, kiss her, love her, never let her go until the end of time but her face stops me._

"I'm going to my friend's house, don't wait up" she growls at me.

"I'm coming with you" I say and I already know she's going to tell me to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

"Yeah okay" she snorts. "I don't want you anywhere near me right now"

"Anastasia" I follow her into the bathroom and push her against the wall so that she can't move.

"Christian stop"

"No"

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you all over this penthouse for the next 12 hours" I growl in her ear.

"You can't fuck it away, Christian"

"Let me love it away" I whisper.

She looks up at me with sad eyes. "You lied to me"

"I know"

"Maybe I'm overreacting but... I just want a night out with my friends. You wanted me to have this remember? Experiences... ones without you so that you don't suffocate me"

It was below the belt referencing conversations from earlier in the relationship. Anastasia and I are essentially attached at the hip when she's not at school and I'm not at work. She's never made it seem like she's needed space or feeling suffocated. She's upset and hurt and wants to hurt me. "Message received, Ana" I say nodding before leaving the room. "Be careful" I call over my shoulder without another glance in her direction.

 **A/N: Anyone who knows the way I write knows I'll have the next chapter out in no time because angst ain't my thang. ha Sadly it ain't over yet. I couldn't make this relationship toooo fluffy yaknow she _is_ in high school after all!**

 **PS playroom scenes are hard. Hope you liked it!**


	8. Dad and Dad(dy)

I glance down at my phone for the hundredth time since I left Christian's penthouse and nothing. _What did you expect Ana after you basically told him to 'fuck off'. How could you say that to him? You know he's hyper sensitive about becoming Elena._ I run a hand through my hair and take a sip of the drink that Hannah had made me to "calm my nerves." _I know what can do that, and it certainly isn't whatever's in this fruity drink._

"Still no word?" I hear from next to me and turn my head to see Hannah staring at me with a concerned expression.

"I hurt him... and he's stubborn" I sigh. "Hell so am I"

"He's going to forgive you, Ana. He's so in love with you"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to people with two eyes." She jokes. "You should see the way he looked at you when you came out tonight after the show"

"I never should have told him to..." I start but stop when I realize I would need to explain more than I'm willing to really convey how much I hurt the man I love. "I shouldn't have told him he couldn't come"

"You wanted time alone with your friends, he won't be that upset right?"

"Well we sort of had a fight too... I shouldn't have come"

"Of course you should have. You've been in a relationship with us and ballet for almost 14 years now." She says taking a sip of her drink. "Hey does he have any brothers?"

"Uh... yeah but he's spoken for"

"What a shame... cousin? Father?" She says her eyes dancing wickedly

"Ew Han, gross"

"Oh I know you're not talking... Christian is pretty old himself"

"He's not that old, Hannah"

"Yeah right, do you call him daddy in bed?" she giggles.

"HANNAH!" I snort. "Stop" I cringe.

"Or Mr. Grey maybe" she wiggles her eyebrows

"Hannah I- okay yeah that" I blurt out before I can catch the words. "Damn what is in this drink" I say sniffing around the lid for any indication as I don't know too much about alcohol and I can't taste shit in this drink.

"Vodka" Hannah giggles. "A fuck ton of it." There's a knock on the door stopping me from replying as Hannah jumps up from where she was sitting. "Yay, the guys are here!" She bolts for the door and my eyes follow her across the room. _What guys? The only guys that usually come are ones from the studio and they are already here... god what the fuck Hannah..._ I rub my head thinking about my CPO at the end of Hannah's street no doubt reporting the guys that just came in. I pick up my phone to call Christian when I stop. _He lied to you, Ana. What are you calling him for? He should apologize to you. But you know you hurt him, you should apologize for that._ I stop the internal battle with myself when I see Hannah approaching me with another cup.

"No way Hannah, I'd like to be able to walk tomorrow."

"Oh my God, let loose will ya? That was like our last big performance before the end of the year and we killed it. And I swore I would get you drunk at least once before graduation" she beams.

"No! I just..." _Christian would kill you?_ "I'm not interested in being a sloppy mess"

"Suit yourself, but better try it now amongst friends where you are safe then do it for the first time in college surrounded by people you don't know"

"Noted" I call after her as she sashays away. _If that's the case, I'll try it with Christian. I don't trust anyone more than I trust him._ The tears flood my eyes before I can even wrap my brain around the realization I just had. I scurry up the stairs, taking them two at a time to Hannah's bathroom my mind racing with every step. I reach the bathroom and close it, locking it behind me. _I trust Christian, wholeheartedly. Despite his indiscretion earlier, he loves me and he is trying so hard. And the second he made a mistake I ran. How is he supposed to trust me? He tells me over and over how much he cares for me and would never want to hurt me... He's so out of his element being in a relationship and not just someone's dom... of course things aren't going to come natural to him._ I pick up the phone to call him and frown when I get his voicemail.

 _ **I'm sorry. I love you... and I take it back, please wait up for me?**_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

I stare at the words on the screen and run my fingers over them as if it will transport me to her. I want to call her back, but her words stop me. _Let her have time with her friends, Christian._

"Staring at your phone isn't going to make her appear, Christian" I hear my annoying brother approaching me with two beers in his hand. He sits down next to me and hands it to me.

"Thanks" I say trying to mask the sadness in my voice.

"What happened anyway?"

"Stupid shit"

"That's specific, care to elaborate?" He asks before he presses the bottle to his lips and takes a long swig.

"We ran into my last sub at the club last week"

"Oh shit, Lena or Layla? What was her name again?"

"Leila.. but yeah"

"How was that?"

"Not great"

"What happened?"

"Leila seemed to be a bit... confused about my relationship with Ana"

"Did you tell her to back off?"

"Yes... sort of... I don't know"

"You don't know... you're a dom, she's a sub put her in her place"

"It's complicated"

"How?"

"I don't know, Ana was there, it was throwing me off"

"So... you didn't put her in her place... and you were in front of your girlfriend?"

I shoot up from my seat and begin to pace. "I don't know Elliott. Fuck! And now Leila is texting me and telling me we were great together, she knows Ana's name and that's she's a dancer and I am freaking the fuck out that she's like stalking her and going to do something to her" I rub my forehead. "She's unstable and clearly delusional and I just don't know what she's capable of." I know I'm rambling when I feel my brother's hands on my shoulders.

"Bro, I need you to relax, you're losing it"

"YOU THINK? I would never forgive myself if something happened to Ana"

"Alright... how are you just now telling me this if it happened a week ago?"

"I don't know. The situation at the club was over before it could even start and then Leila didn't text me till today. I figured it was over and then today at Ana's show..."

"TELL ME" he interrupts, "that Ana is not mad at you because you told her that you were texting some old girlfriend at her show" he says giving me a look reminiscent of the looks Grace used to give me when I was in deep trouble.

"Well..."

"CHRISTIAN" Elliott booms. "Tell me you aren't that stupid. And don't hand me that 'I've never had a girlfriend, I've only been a dom' shit. This is basic relationships 101. You've given more respect to your subs than that. Why would you entertain that girl's bullshit while you are somewhere with Ana?"

"I-"

Elliott lowers his head. "You need to grovel."

"I tried! I-"

"Try harder"

"But-"

"No buts... okay what happened exactly at the club" I give him the rundown of what happened and he just shakes his head at me. "So yooouuu didn't even let Ana win the pissing contest. You took that away from her? Really?"

"I didn't want to cause a scene, El. You know how it is. What kind of dom would I look like if I had a sub and a girlfriend going at it. I'm supposed to keep all of that in check"

"Uhhh a typical Thursday night for a good dom" Elliott quips. "Have you really not been there when subs get into it over a dom?"

"Wait what?" I ask.

"Totally not the point here, but last week one of Jacob's old subs got into it with his new one and let's just say, that somehow I was mildly horrified and turned on at the same time" he says chuckling. "I've never been one for girl fights, but god damn"

I sigh. "So what now?"

"Okay so next time an old sub, or some girl on the street or ANYONE tries to get up in Ana's shit, you LET her mark her territory. Jesus. What would you have done if some guy hit on Ana?"

"Broke his fucking neck"

"Exactly. And you keeping Ana quiet while some girl all but begs you to let her suck your dick who has in fact already SUCKED YOUR DICK in the past, is a huge fuck up"

"I have to go to her, now"

"No" Elliott says putting a hand on my shoulder. "You wait here"

"But she told me she was sorry and to wait up for her. She probably wants me to come get her"

"Did she ask you to?"

"No but-"

"Exactly."

"Is she going to break up with me?"

"How the hell should I know? Probably not, doesn't she like live here?" He asks with a smug grin and I flick him off in response.

"Yes and next year I hear she'll be living with your girl."

"I know, I can't fucking wait. Could you imagine if Kate or Ana got some bitchy roommate that was weird about their "old" boyfriends passing through their dorm in the middle of the night to fuck them senseless? I'll be working on a sexy time schedule as soon as they get their class schedule" he smiles.

I sigh. "Can't wait." I say sarcastically.

"You say that, but you'll be glad you have it later"

I shake my head at my brother and look down at the text from Ana. _I already didn't answer her phone call, I should text her back. She is probably worried that I am mad at her._

 _ **I love you too, I'm sorry too. Should I come get you?**_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

APOV

"Absolutely not" I hear from next to me as I look over and see another girl from the studio leaning over my shoulder. "You like just got here, and I have barely seen you in weeks"

I put my phone in my back pocket and shoot my friend Alex a look. "Don't be nosy"

"He can't come get you yet!" she stomps her foot and I roll my eyes.

"I didn't tell him to"

"If he's apologizing, make him wait." She shrugs.

"We should really talk though, and if I have another one of these I may not be in the right of frame of mind" I say pointing at my second drink of the evening.

"Two drinks? You really are a lightweight"

"I'm a ballerina, Alex. As are you, we are ALL lightweights" I say rolling my eyes. "If we weren't lightweights, they'd probably be telling us to _lose_ weight" I say cringing. _Sometimes I really did hate ballet. Having to be careful about carbs and sugar and... I can't even say the last time I had pizza. I close my eyes. Mmm pizza._

"Speak for yourself, I can at least get to three cocktails. And I am certainly not tipsy after one"

"I should go" I say softly. "We left things...weird. And it's where I need to be right now"

Alex sighs. "Fine, you think your sugar daddy boyfriend will let us have a party at his place? Hannah says he lives in Escala" she says her eyes lighting up.

"He's not my sugar daddy, Alex!"

"Oh please, don't think I didn't notice that new ride of yours. Fly as hell. Kudos" she winks.

"I love him... it's not like that"

"I would love any man that looks like that and buys me things." She giggles. "And you're living with him!"

"It's complicated"

"Sure it is. Do you even know what he does?"

"Uhh mergers and acquisitions?"

"Yeah do you know what that _means_ though?" Alex asks and I'm slightly irritated that she's trying to insinuate that she's smarter than I am.

"Yes. But I don't really know what he does exactly... do you?"

"Daddy has all those boring as fuck magazines around the house. Do you know he was on Forbes 25 People to Watch Under 25 Last Year? His company is going to be explosive by the time he's 28. That's what my dad says" she shrugs.

"You told your dad?"

"God no, not about you. I just asked him out of curiosity. Word on the street is he's gay because he's never pictured with anyone."

"I-I had no idea"

"You Ana, might just be catapulted into the spotlight very soon" she giggles.

"What-what else do you know?"

"God Ana haven't you googled him?"

"No.. I... I mean he runs a company- I"

"What 23 year old do you know just runs a multi billion dollar corporation?"

"Billion?"

"Ya girl. Your man is rich as fuck, did you not notice?"

"I-I noticed I guess? I just.." My eyes narrow as I start to think about his apartment, the cars, the CPO's, the hoard of expensive gifts he's given me. _Shit. I mean I knew he had money but dear God._

"So like I said... we can have a party?" Alex asks.

"I'll-I'll talk to him, Al. I have to go" I say handing her my drink before taking off to find Hannah to say goodbye. I find her sitting at her kitchen table playing a game with a quarter and a shot glass and I narrow my eyes in confusion. "What are you guys doing?"

"ANAAAAA!" Hannah squeals. "Guys this is my BESTEST friend. EVER!" She kisses my cheek and I roll my eyes.

"You're drunk. I'm going to go though. Will you be okay?"

"GO? But Anaaaaa you have to stay."

"No, I need to be with Christian right now"

"Oh my Goddddd guys, Ana has to go home to her husband" she rolls her eyes. "Convince her to stay!"

A guy that I recognize looks up at me and smiles. "Yeah Ana stay" _I recognize him because Hannah has only been trying to hook me up with him for the past year. Hannah and Alex go to school with him and apparently he's got a crush on me or something. Paul... Clayton? I think?_

"I really should go. Call me tomorrow, okay?" I say looking at Hannah. I'm out the front door and moving towards the familiar Audi down the street when I feel an arm wrapped around mine.

"Ana!"

I turn around to see Paul and I inwardly roll my eyes. "Hey"

"I just didn't know if you were driving or if someone was picking you up. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I saw you had a drink or two"

"Not driving" I say trying not to look at the Audi making it's way towards me.

He happens to notice it anyway and looks at me curiously. "Hannah and Alex said he had a lot of money" he says looking down. "I guess I couldn't really compete with that."

"What? Paul... I-"

"Don't tell me you didn't know. Hannah and Alex told me they told you" he looks at the car and then back at me. "Is that what you want?"

" _He_ is what I want"

He nods and I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable as the moments go by. "I see. Well.. alright then. Guess I should have made my move when I had the chance then"

I feel him before I see him and I inwardly groan and squeal with excitement as I feel him getting closer. "Guess you should have"

I turn and I'm face to face with a very sexy Christian Grey who simultaneously looks very angry.

"Christian-" I start.

He touches my face gently and rubs his thumb across my cheek. "Hi" he whispers before his lips find mine. I'm not sure if Paul is still standing there but he's certainly about to get a show if he is. I think Christian is going to deepen it before he pulls away. I smile and turn to see if Paul is still standing there and somehow he is. _Weirdo. Who just stands there and watches a couple kiss? I guess it was only for a brief second, but still!_ He puts his hand out. "I'm the boyfriend"

I grin inwardly at this pissing contest Christian initiated and roll my eyes. I see Paul look down at his hand before shaking his head. "I'll see ya round, Ana" before heading back inside.

"Doubtful" I hear Christian murmur so only I can hear.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"You didn't answer when I asked if you wanted me to come get you, I just- I wanted to make sure you were okay. So I came here to wait with Sawyer till you were ready" He says running a hand through his hair. "I wasn't going to come in, or interrupt your fun I just-" I put a finger to his lips interrupting him.

"Shhh" when he stops talking I remove my finger. "I shouldn't have said what I said. I was wrong. And it was wrong for me to hit below the belt like that. You don't suffocate me. If anything I'm the one who wants to be with you all the time" I say biting my bottom lip out of nervousness.

"I would love that" he whispers. "I saw you coming out of the house and that fucker put his hand on you. Sawyer and Taylor had to basically hold me back to keep me from coming for you then. They told me to let you handle it but then I could tell by your body language- you were getting agitated."

I look at the car that's a good 30 feet from where we are. "You could tell from that distance?"

"I could tell if I'm not even looking at you, Anastasia" he tucks a hair behind my ear and only then do I realize that I'm still standing in front of Hannah's house no doubt having attracted an audience. I turn around just in time to see the curtains move and I sigh.

I turn back around. "Great. Let's just go before any of them come out"

"Too late!" I hear and I cringe as I would know that voice anyway. I turn to see Alex skipping out of the house. "Hi!" she says approaching us. "I'm Alex" she says putting her hand out for him to shake. "I hear you're the guy giving my girl the newfound pep in her step" she says giving a little shimmy.

"Alex" I groan.

"What!" She looks at Christian and smiles.

"It's nice to meet you, Alex"

"You've really got Paul in there licking his wounds, Ana"

"Alex can we talk about it later?" I say. _Please do not rile Christian up when I have to take him home._

"I mean he should have just asked you out months ago. The candle he's been holding has been real. Your girl is a hot commodity" he says to Christian.

"Ooooookay, bye Alex" I say pulling Christian away from her.

"Nice to meet you!" She calls after us but I can tell Christian is too seething pissed to answer.

We are in the car and before I can think I am in his lap being crushed to his chest. "If this car had a privacy screen you bet your ass it would be up and your jeans would be down." I look up into his grey eyes and his hands are on my cheeks before he brushes his lips over mine. "You are mine, Anastasia Steele. All. mine."

"I know" I say quietly. "Thank you for coming to get me. I thought... maybe you hated me for what I said"

"No sweet girl, never" he rubs his nose against mine and I smile at the small intimate act. Especially since the last time we saw each other we were both so different. "Make no mistake though, this isn't over" he says giving me a look that cools the fire that was burning below.

"You're still mad" I whisper.

"And that Paul boy did not fucking help"

I pout. "At least you got to mark your territory" I roll my eyes and attempt to move from his lap when I feel strong arms gripping my thighs tightly keeping me in place.

He narrows his eyes at me before softening them. "I am sorry for that, Ana. I made a mistake in judgment"

I look out the window at the scenery we are passing and then back to him. "Can I see the texts between you and Leila?"

He twists his mouth before moving me gently and handing me his phone. "I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I am working to figure out how she knows this much" I look at him curiously before I open the thread with the unknown contact in his text thread and I smile inwardly when I notice that in the sea of texts I am the only one that doesn't have the formality of having my last name. Just 'Ana' I start reading and I furrow my brow when I feel his lips pressing against the V between my brows. "I will never let anyone hurt you, baby"

"Is she... following me?"

"I don't know honestly. I have reason to believe that she's somehow gotten into your school or maybe your studio. You haven't seen her, maybe in passing?"

"I... I don't think so" I stammer trying to recall if I've seen her. _But my school is quite large at approximately 1000 students, it's possible to blend in if one is trying to blend in. And my ballet studio... well I am in several pictures hanging on the wall in the lobby with my name underneath one of my headshots... she could have easily gone in and seen my picture while I wasn't even there._

"I will take care of this, do you understand?"

I nod. "How?"

"Let me worry about that, okay? There's this guy that Taylor recommended... we're interviewing him to be my security investigator. I can't remember his first name, last name is Welch?"

"Okay. Don't... keep me in the dark though, okay?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I walk into the elevator and when I turn around Christian is all around me boxing me against the wall. I bite my bottom lip and look up. "Hi"

"Are you wet for me?" He whispers in my ear and I clench at his sinful words.

I'm worried my voice will fail me so I nod my head. I feel his hand at the button of my jeans and then he pops it causing my eyes to widen. "Christian we are on an elevator"

"My private one"

"There are cameras in here still"

"That Taylor monitors. I've already told them to turn them off whenever we are in here alone together"

"Oh" I breathe out.

"Do you think I would risk _anyone_ seeing you... the way I see you. No, Anastasia your delicious little body is for my eyes only."

I lick my lips trying to create some moisture when I see his eyes dart to my mouth immediately. "Are you going to fuck me... here?" I ask weakly.

"Eventually. But we are home now" he says lifting me into his arms and putting me over his shoulder. I squeal with delight as he squeezes my behind and soon he is on the move bolting up his stairs. I wonder how he can move this fast with me in his arms but soon I am being deposited on our bed and he's crawling up my body until we are face to face.

"We need to talk about a few things"

"Oh? Now?" I ask so overcome with lust I don't understand how we can have a conversation.

He grabs my hands pulling me so that we are sitting up. "I'll draw us a bath"

"Now? Christian..." I grab him by the top of his jeans and pull him towards me. "Can we fuck first?"

"Why Anastasia? Such language!" he chuckles and I blush having had said 'fuck' so casually.

"You swear like a sailor! You're rubbing off on me." I squeeze my eyes shut at my choice of words when really I just want him rubbing on me, literally. Now.

He holds his hand out for me. "Come"

I lean against the sink as starts to fill the tub with water and bubble bath. _Hmmm bubble baths do usually end with us having sex. This could work._ I roll my eyes to myself that I've turned into a fiend that can't be in the same room as her boyfriend without mounting him at least once. All of the air leaves my lungs as I watch him take off his shirt in one fluid motion.

"Your turn" he says

I haven't wanted to come this bad in a really long time. Was the fight and all of it leading up to this just... foreplay? Or some kind of weird aphrodisiac? I feel his hands under my shirt squeezing my breasts gently and soon my shirt is over my head and my bra is following suit on the floor. It isn't long before we are in the tub and I feel the water calming my heated core. _Calm the fuck down, Ana before you explode._

"You're antsy" he says looking at me squirm.

"I'm..." I bite my lip not wanting to say the word.

"Horny?" I nod my head bashfully and he chuckles pulling me into his lap. I lean in to kiss him to get this show on the road when he stops me. "Wait"

"Wait?" I whine. "Who are you? Last Saturday we spent an entire day in bed because Friday we only had sex once! And now you want to wait?"

He smiles no doubt recalling our time last Saturday, honestly I'm surprised I could walk Sunday. But soon the smile is replaced with a serious look. "I should never have texted Leila during your performance. Or responded to her texts. It was rude and disrespectful." he starts. _Well there goes a bucket of ice water all over me. He just couldn't let me come._ He pauses and I go to say something when he puts a finger to my lips. "Let me get this out"

"I am not used to having to answer to anyone... let alone a woman. And you beguile me Anastasia, and frankly that scares the shit out of me. I think part of me knew how unstable Leila was and letting her know how much you meant to me well... that makes you a target in some ways because you, Anastasia in 5 weeks became my one and only weakness. My Achilles heel. If she thought you weren't important then maybe she would have left you alone, maybe she wouldn't possibly be following you the fuck around" he growls pinching the bridge of his nose. People will want to get to me through you because they know how much you mean to me. And I can't let that happen. But I know I can't shield you from... the world. _My_ world"

I nod. "People target you because... you're very wealthy? And I don't think I really understood how much... and your company... I think I've been kind of in the dark about it all. You're just Christian to me and tonight I realized you're not _just_ Christian."

"But I _am_ "

"No." I say trying to move off his lap to put some space between us but he holds me in place on his lap and begins to rub my back gently. I sigh when I realize I can't move and continue. "I didn't google you. I had no idea. You were this hot man at a club I had no business being at that kissed me and looked at me like I... belonged to him. And that scared me and excited me. But I have no idea anything about this other life you have. Where you... run this massive empire... where you're on a Forbes List! Do you know the kind of people on a Forbes list!? Like Bill Gates and those fuckers that run Wal-Mart! My God I thought I was smart!" I know I sound shrill right now but I can't even help it. Every insecurity I ever had about dating a guy like Christian is bubbling to the surface. Now.

"You _are_ smart, baby"

"Book smart, sure. I can give you historical dates and recite the Canterbury Tales and tell you the process of photosynthesis. You are changing lives. You're far past smart, you're BRILLIANT."

"You are brilliant, sweetheart"

"We are getting off topic. I just don't know how I am going to fit into this world of yours"

"You do fit in Anastasia because you _are_ my world"

I look down feeling moved by his words and not wanting him to mistake the tears forming for anything else. I nod my head when I feel his hand under my chin. "I've never done this before." I whisper. "Obviously. So I am just as confused and unsure of what to do as you are"

"We will take this relationship one step at a time, alright?" he says

"I left home and moved here and... evidently now everyone thinks you're my sugar daddy"

He laughs loudly. "Shut up, they do not"

"Oh they do. Alex called you that. Also, asked if I called you daddy in bed. That was... disgusting"

He looks me over. "Sounds kinda hot"

"No. It's gross. I like to think I don't have any daddy issues. But let's not go probing in to my psyche"

"So what did you tell her?"

"That you most certainly were not! I love you.. aren't they girls my age sleeping with these old men for money?"

"Sometimes... not always"

"What?"

"I mean they don't have to be old"

"Well I'm not sleeping with you just because you buy me things"

"Oh Iiiiiii know seeing as how I have to beg you to accept my gifts"

"Because you bought me an IPhone 7, and a brand new car, and a MacBook. And we've been together about six weeks. Also, that was not supposed to be in order of craziness... because you buying me a car was definitely the most crazy"

"I am crazy about you. And I want to spoil you" he says wrapping his arm around my back and nuzzling his face in my wet, naked breasts. He places a kiss on them both before drawing back to look me in the eyes. "Yes, I do make a lot of money. But what am I supposed to do with it?"

"Invest it!"

"I do that"

"Give to charities"

"I do that too"

"I don't know! Buy a boat?"

"I have three"

"THREE!?"

"Yeah we'll go out when it gets warmer." He grabs my head making me lock eyes with his. "Look, woman." I giggle at his choice of words. "I love you and I think for some strange reason you love me too. Which means you have to just take me, obscene amounts of money and all. God you would think that's a flaw! You'd probably be less skeptical if I had a criminal record" he says rolling his eyes.

"I just don't want you to think..." I trail off. "When we go public, they're going to say I'm a golddigger... they're going to say that you are my sugar daddy when they find out my age." I chuckle at the words. "I just don't want you to see me those ways. I don't want you to think I need any of that. I just need you. I will take you _with_ all of that. But I would take you without all of that just the same."

"I know that, Anastasia. You never struck me as someone that needed all of that."

"That being said. Other women, other subs, other people you've had sex with? Hard limits. Lying to me? Hard limit"

"I can do that" he nods.

"I need to know that I can trust you"

"You can"

"Lying to me doesn't tell me that"

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Do not do it again"

"I promise, I won't"

"I will trust that there are some things you want to protect me from and maybe I don't need to know everything... but don't lie right to my face"

He nods. "Okay"

I'm still straddling him in the tub and despite the time we've been in here the water is still warm so I lean my head against his chest and sigh. "I'm proud of you for not hitting Paul"

"I was this close" he says raising an arm out of the water and putting his index finger and thumb close together. "How long has he been pursuing you?"

"He.. hasn't. He told my friends and they tried to set us up but I wasn't into it"

"Limp dick fucker. Wanting what's mine. Probably wouldn't even know what to do with you if he had the chance"

I sit up and giggle. "Definitely wouldn't know what to do with me now. You've ruined me for other men yaknow"

"That was the plan" he says smugly.

"Oh.. by the way, my friends want to have a party here. What do you think about that?"

"I think... absolutely not" he says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Why?"

"Because you and your drunkard friends are not 21! Some of them aren't even 18! You're not about to get me burned at the stake by your schools goddamn PTA"

I laugh. "You're funny. Okay well can Alex and Hannah sleepover and probably Kate?"

"Kate yes I know her."

"You don't even like her" I say furrowing my brow.

"We have an understanding"

"So not Alex and Hannah?"

"Uhhh can we talk about it?"

"Sure we can talk about it while I'm blowing you later"

"Ana I just don't-" he stops having registered what I said. "Oh you're playing dirty"

"Whatever do you mean Mr. Grey?" I say fluttering my eyelashes.

He narrows his eyes at me. "I know what you're doing" I bite my bottom lip and smile before standing up in the tub letting all of the suds and water slide down me in rivulets causing him to groan. "Come back here" he reaches for me.

"Uh uh, I'm getting pruny" I say stepping out of the tub but remaining completely naked and wet. I turn around to look at him and see he's still staring at me. "Christian"

"What" he says staring at the apex to my thighs.

"I'm going to dry off, and then I am going to fuck you. Ooookay?"

He nods his head before I grab my towel and head into the bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

I let out a breath and climb out of the tub. I dry off trying to avoid my dick as it is rock hard thinking about Ana's sexy fucking body that's naked and wet waiting for me in the room over. _Makeup sex is about to be on. I'll have to say this is my first time having makeup sex as I really didn't ever fight with a sub. I mean obviously._

I make my way into the bedroom and I am surprised not to find Ana sprawled out naked on our bed. But sitting on the side of it with her back to me. I see her nod her head a few times and when I move to kneel in front of her I realize she's on the phone and the tears in her eyes are unmistakable. She sniffles once and then nods again. "Yes. I'll be there in 20 minutes. No... I won't drive" she sniffles again and I fear the worst. _Her father._ "I know... I love you too...Okay... bye momma" She drops the phone and immediately she lunges for me and the sobs coming out of her crush me. "I haven't been there. I haven't been home" she chokes out. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" she says.

"Okay, breathe" I say in her ear as I feel her starting to hyperventilate. "Let's get you dressed, okay?"

"He's sick... his health is declining rapidly and I haven't been there. He hates me"

"He doesn't hate you baby." _Okay not dead. Better than I thought._ "So he's alive?"

She nods. "Yes. Just having a really bad day. He collapsed." She says pulling on underwear, a bra and some jeans and a sweater.

"Taylor will drive us"

She nods. "Okay"

We're in the car within 5 minutes and I thought she would be in my lap wanting me to hold her, but she's just looking out the window not making a move to touch me at all. I grab her hand that's not under her chin and stroke it gently. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart."

"You can't make this better"

 _I don't even know what to say to this_. _Isn't it my job to make her feel better? To make her smile? To fix her problems?_ _What I wouldn't give to make her feel better right now._ "I would if I could Ana"

"I know"

We are driving for a few moments when I hear her sniffle. I look at her and see the lone tear streaming down my face and my immediate reaction is to reach for her. Soon she's in my lap and I'm stroking her back as she buries her face into my jacket. The cries are muffled but they're there. We arrive at the hospital and she's out of the car before I even have the chance to get out and bolting for the door. I move to keep up with her when I see her mother come into view and soon she's in her mother's arms. She's still wracked with sobs but they've subsided slightly. I try to hang back to give them some space when I make eye contact with Ana's mother.

She clears her throat and wipes her eyes. "Thank you... for bringing her. She was in no place to drive"

"Of course" I say. _Like I would have let her._

"How is he?" Ana asks.

"He's stable and conscious. He's been waiting to see you"

They start walking and I follow behind them when Carla turns around. "Oh, you... are staying?"

Ana looks at her mother confused and then at me. "Of course he's staying" she looks back at me. "Aren't you?"

 _Does she think I'm going to leave her like this? Is she insane? Is her mother insane?_ "Of course I am, angel"

She blushes no doubt because I used that term of endearment in front of her mother. "Mom of course he's staying with me"

"He doesn't have to stay just because you don't have a ride. I will take you back there later, if you're insistent on stay there."

"Mom, stop. Don't do this now"

"This is a family matter, Anastasia"

"I'm here for Dad. Christian's here for me. Deal with it." She spits out before clasping my hand with hers and pulling me towards the elevator. "God she's a piece of work" Ana says as we wait for the elevator. We enter and we see that her mother is no longer behind us so we allow the doors to shut.

"Where- did she go?"

"Do not care. I can't even believe she's trying to make this about anything other than my father being in here. Do not engage her, Christian"

"Baby maybe I should-"

"No. I know what you're going to say, you're not causing any issues. It's not a problem that you're here. I want you here, I need you here." She steps into my arms and I can tell she's breathing in my scent. Something she does when she needs to feel calm. "I love you"

I kiss the top of her head. "I love _you_ "

We enter on to the floor and we walk towards her fathers room. "Can you just wait out here first?"

"Of course. Take all the time you need. I'll be here" I say motioning towards the chairs sitting outside the door.

She nods and then she's gone. I sigh and put my head down when I hear a throat being cleared. I know what this is. _God I am so over this woman._ "Hello Mrs. Steele"

"Done corrupting my daughter yet?"

"If that's what we're calling it, I'll never be finished"

"You shouldn't be here. Why are you here? To make Ana feel like she needs you? She doesn't, she has me"

"Ana doesn't need me, Mrs. Steele. Frankly, I need her. But that's beside the point. I am here because I support her, and she's hurting. And that's what you do when you love someone. You support them."

"Don't tell me-"

"Mrs. Steele? Can I speak with you for a moment" a doctor that I recognize from events I've gone to for my mother approaches us. He looks at me and smiles. "Mr. Grey, how are you? I... didn't know you were here today"

"I'm here for a personal matter" I speak lowly.

"I didn't know you were acquainted with Mr. Steele"

"He's not" Carla interrupts. "He was just leaving"

"Actually, I wasn't." I say. "I'm a close friend of his daughters" I'm not sure how much I trust this man not to go blabbing to the press or at very least spreading it around the hospital that my mother works. For fucks sake.

"My _teenage_ daughter" Carla interjects.

"Your 18 year old daughter" I say shooting her a look telling her not to even go there.

"Well would you prefer we spoke elsewhere?" Dr. Spokane says.

"Yes" Carla says.

I watch them walk away as Ana comes out looking much better than when she went in. "He looks good. He's got color and he's talking and..." she looks at her mother and the doctor. "Oh Dr. Spokane" she says and walks over to her father's doctor motioning me to follow her. I shake my head trying to convey to her that I want to give them space.

After a few moments, Carla moves back into his room leaving Ana and the Doctor and for some reason that irritates me. _Their familiarity irritates me. Sure he's been her fathers doctor for about a year but why is he touching her shoulder? Okay this friend crap is going out the window. Time to go make a statement._ "I move towards them and he stops talking immediately.

"Oh you can talk in front of Christian." Ana says moving into me making me feel like I want to beat my chest.

"Your mother asked that I didn't"

"Forget what my mother says. I have a say too."

"And I donate a ton of money to this hospital, as you know. Have you done everything you can for him?" I ask.

"Mr. Grey" he starts.

"Have. You. Done. Everything."

"He's against the idea of doing chemotherapy"

"I told you that" Ana says sadly.

"Make him do it, Ana. It could save his life"

"Or make it miserable" Dr. Spokane says.

"No one asked you" I growl at him.

"Christian" Ana looks at me. "I'm sorry Doctor, he's just concerned"

"Close friend, huh?" Dr. Spokane asks.

"Back off" I say looking at him. "I just want what's best for Ana and her family"

"Uh huh" he says looking at me with enough judgment to fill a courtroom. "I have advised Ana and her mother to talk to him about chemotherapy. He doesn't want it. He's stubborn and he's a man from the Marines. They don't take kindly to feeling weak and powerless, which is what many people attribute to the process."

"It could save him" I say looking at Ana. "Before it's too late and there's nothing you can do"

"They are aware that the window is closing for when it would be able to do any good. We are closing in at the end of stage 3" he says. "Ana, I will be by to check on Mr. Steele in a few hours."

"Okay, bye Doctor"

"Why did you have to do that?" she says looking at me.

"Do what?"

"Be so aggressive"

"I just want to help"

She sighs. "I know. And I love you for that" she furrows her brow. "What did he mean by close friend?"

"I didn't exactly announce that you were my girlfriend"

"Why?"

"Because your mother was hell bent on portraying you as underage and I wasn't trying to draw any unwanted attention to it right now. And I know that asshole. My mom works here so I've met him a few times"

"Oh" she says nodding. "Are you ever going to tell people I'm your girlfriend?"

"I told my mother"

"And we saw how well that worked out" she says sarcastically.

"Everyone is going to come around, Anastasia"

"I guess"

"They're not going to have a choice" I say grabbing her chin. "Baby" I say getting her to open up those eyes and look at me.

"Hmmm?"

"Have you considered getting a second opinion?"

 **A/N: So, as you may have picked up, I am dialing Ray back a stage. (I know it's not feasible in real life but I needed to take a medical creative liberty for the sake of my sanity) As many of you follow my other story, College Neighbors you know that I've written one death and I've decided once is enough. Stage 4 Colon Cancer is one of the quickest so right now based on where they are in the timeline I'd have to be thinking about how to write that and I just don't want to. I'm sorry if this messes up the flow of the story. I've done a few brief edits (nothing you necessarily need to go back and read) where needed but even at stage 3, Ray would still be pretty sick so I didn't have to change much. It is just a vast improvement in life expectancy from stage 4. AND who knows what this second opinion will bring! And how Carla will take Christian starting to solicit some advice/help. Thank you for sticking with me as I try my hand at a story completely different than the comfort of my other story. I'm still working out the kinks. Xoxo**


	9. If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst

**A/N: So, Ana's too damn mature, I swear. Eighteen year olds in love, they aren't this sane, right? I surely wasn't. I remember being insecure and clingy and had a nasty jealous streak. I'm sure some- (not all) can agree that the inside of an 18 year old's mind in love is a dangerous place. I still plan to keep Ana pretty much the same (because I don't think I can get in this headspace every chapter) but sometimes a girl just can't help herself.**

 **Motto for this chapter: "If you can't handle me at my worst... I don't blame you, that shit is ridiculous"**

"A second opinion?" I ask blinking my eyes a few times as if I can't fathom what he's saying. A second opinion also known as someone saying that the first opinion is _wrong_. "I-I hadn't"

"Maybe you... and your family should consider it"

"What if they say the same thing?"

"Then you're in no different position than you are now. But Ana what if they say something _different_?" I look down the hall away from his piercing gaze and sigh when I see my mother coming out of my father's room and moving towards us.

"Are you staying?" Carla asks.

"Yes mother, I'm staying at least for a while." I change the subject so that my mom can't make a comment about Christian. "Why don't we get a second opinion?"

She narrows her eyes curiously. "Dr. Spokane has been with us for quite sometime, Ana"

"I know but... what if he's wrong or... why haven't we gotten a second opinion?"

"Your father trusts Dr. Spokane, he's known him for years"

"So? Doctors make mistakes"

Carla furrows her brow further. "This is your doing?" She says looking at Christian. "Getting her hopes up?"

"Mom, it's not unheard of, I'm honestly surprised we didn't think of it sooner. What could it hurt?"

She takes a deep breath before letting it out. I can see the look in her eyes, and I frown knowing that she feels the weight of the world on her right now. "I suppose you're right. But _you_ need to tell your father. He won't listen to me." She says before walking away from us and back to my fathers room.

Christian and I spend the rest of the night at the hospital with my parents before leaving around seven am that morning. I snuggle up to him in the car and rest my head directly under his chin and sigh. "I'm so sleepy" I groan as I feel my eyes getting heavy with each passing second.

"Do I need to carry you up when we get home?" I hear whispered into my hair.

"Mmmm" I moan out before I'm out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next thing I know I'm being pulled out of sleep by my phone ringing. I want to ignore it but worry it's my mother and blindly reach for my phone. I turn my head to the side and frown when I don't see Christian. I find my phone and slide it open without looking at the name. "Hello?"

"You didn't even invite me to your party last night? What the hell?" I hear blaring through the phone.

"What... what?" I ask. I pull the phone away from my ear and see Kate's name and groan. "Kate it wasn't-"

"Elliott came home last night and said your boyfriend was whining about you hating him and that you were at your dance party without him. You didn't even invite me?"

"I-I forgot, Kate. I'm sorry. If it's any consolation I wasn't there long"

"What are you doing, you sound like you were asleep"

"I was" I groan.

"It's noon"

"Well I was up till seven" I say sadly as I know I'm about to have to explain what I was doing until six in the morning.

"I thought you weren't there long!? What the fuck? Were you up fucking that long?"

"Kate..."

"I didn't know you had it in you Steele, I mean you JUST lost your virginity and now-"

"KATE"

"What!?" she giggles.

I sigh. "My dad collapsed, I went to the hospital around three, and I got home around seven"

I hear absolute silence and I wonder if the call dropped. "Kate?" I ask. "Are you-"

"I'm coming over" Kate interrupts.

"No.. I'm okay, he's okay, it's fine"

"No. It's not. I'm coming, I'll see you soon"

"Kate" I hear the familiar beeps to let me know she hung up and I groan. "Okay then" I look to the side again and want nothing more than to lay my head on his chest and go back to sleep. I sit up and stretch my sore limbs as they're usually a bit stiff after a day of competing. I move to the bathroom to brush my teeth and pull my hair into a bun before making my way to Christian's office. I hear him long before I see him as he's shouting at some poor soul and I wonder if I shouldn't bother him. But I know myself well enough to know that I'm feeling vulnerable and want to just curl up in his lap and pray that he chases away this dark cloud that seems to be looming over me right now. I open the door slightly and walk in. He's cradling the phone in between his ear and his shoulder as he's furiously typing on his computer. I make my way over to him and feel slightly guilty for bothering him but I can't help myself. The connection I'm craving from him is unbearable. I tap his shoulder and he turns to me and smiles before telling the person on the other line to hold before placing the call on mute.

"Hi sweetheart. I really can't talk right now, this is a really important call" he says and I immediately feel my heart sink. _He's never said anything like that to me before, ever._ I nod before letting my gaze drop to his lap indicating that I would like to sit in my usual seat.

"As much as I would love that, I don't think I can get anything done with you sitting in my lap" he smiles and I nod as I clear the tears I feel building in my throat. _Shit is Aunt Flo coming to town soon? I am never this goddamn emotional._ "Can you sit in one of those?" he says nodding towards one of the chairs across from him. _Can't you just let me be close to you?_ I feel like stamping my foot right now but I refrain and just point to the door indicating that I'm leaving. I'm somewhat shocked at his lack of awareness right now as he's always saying he knows me better than I know myself. _Not at the moment you don't. Between the fight we had last night, combined with the fact that we didn't even have makeup sex and then spending the night in the hospital, can't you feel how vulnerable I am right now? As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I feel fucking fragile._ I leave the room and shut the door behind me. It's not lost on me that he's back on the phone as if I hadn't just been there. I move towards the kitchen and sit on one of the stools and put my head in my hands. _Deep breaths, Ana. Stop being so dramatic. He's busy. You know he's busy. He can't always drop everything for you._ I realize that I am slightly hungry after not eating since early yesterday evening and begin making breakfast- well lunch for Christian and I. Thirty minutes later, I've finished the pancakes, bacon and eggs and make my way back to his study. I put my ear to the door and after a few seconds I realize he isn't on the phone so I push the door open again.

"I made breakfast" I say softly. I almost wonder if he can hear me over the aggressive typing so I clear my throat to repeat myself when he interrupts me.

"Can't eat right now"

"Well... maybe you can come sit with me and watch me eat" I giggle. "I know you love that"

He smiles and turns his attention away from the computer and looks at me. "As much as it pleases me to hear that, I really need to take care of this. There's a few fires at GEH that need putting out" he says slamming his laptop shut and leaning back against his chair.

I move towards him. "Did you sleep last night?"

"For about 30 minutes"

"Christian, you need to get some sleep. You will feel better and more focused after"

"No time" he says getting up and I back up slowly, wrapping my arms around myself as if I need protection from this man. "I have to go to the office"

"But it's Sunday" I say softly.

"Work never ends, baby" he chuckles. "And I didn't do any work yesterday"

"You didn't have to come to my performance... not at the cost of your work"

"I wanted to be there, Anastasia" he says giving me a stern look. _And that is so not what I needed right now._

I sigh, feeling unbelievably defeated by all of this. "Will you be gone long?"

"Not sure, but you'll be okay here right? El texted me that Kate was coming over?"

"So I hear but... I just..." _I so want to tell him how I'm feeling, but how do I say it without sounding like a clingy, whiny girlfriend?_

My thoughts are interrupted by lips brushing against mine lightly. "Hey" he says pulling me out of my thoughts. "Look at me" I look into his eyes and hope that he can see the hurt I'm desperately trying to hide when he kisses me softly again which is doing nothing for the fire burning below. "I'll be back as soon as I can"

I blow out a breath when he leaves me in his office and after a few moments I decide to follow him, hoping it will lead to a shared shower. I raise an eyebrow when I see him changing into a white button up and black jeans.

"You're not showering?"

"Is that your way of telling me that I need to?" He chuckles. "I showered a few hours ago while you were asleep"

"I just thought we could shower... together"

His eyes dance playfully. "As much as I would love that, I really don't have time"

"For a fifteen minute shower?" I ask

"We both know our showers are not fifteen minutes"

"Oh my God, why are you fighting me so hard?" I snap. I immediately regret it when I see the look in his eyes; a mix between hurt and confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I just... I get that you're busy. But I just spent the night in a hospital... after we had argued and then... not really made up" I say trailing off. "I just... need..."

"To fuck?" He asks me and for some reason the harshness of that word is the biggest bucket of cold water when it usually heats me up.

"No? It's not just about the sex, Christian"

"Then what is it? Because wanting to sit in my lap and showering together makes it seem like this is all about sex. And as much as I would love to fuck you all over this penthouse, I really do have to take care of some things before they become huge problems." He pauses. "Baby I need you to understand that"

His words sting. _Like I'm this kid that doesn't understand that he's busy. I never asked you to blow off work for me. I never asked you to come to my competition yesterday when you needed to be working. And now he's acting like I don't understand?_ "I just wanted to be close to you, Christian. Girls need that sometime. I know you don't have a ton of experience with having to care about a woman's feelings" I spit out. "but sometimes? We get upset, and we just want the man we love to hold us and tell us it will be okay. That's all I fucking wanted, Christian." I say. I turn on my heel and walk out. "And yeah" I say over my shoulder. "Maybe I also wanted your fucking dick"

I've gotten two steps out of the door before I'm being shoved hard against the wall and two hands are on my shoulders. "Don't you _ever_ fucking talk to me like that again"

"Fuck off" I growl. "Now is NOT the fucking time. Tell your inner dom I said he does NOT want to test me right now"

"You think I don't care about your feelings?" He barks at me. "You're the only person's feelings I fucking care about, Anastasia..." he trails off. "I didn't know..."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE" I yell. "You go on and on about how you know everything about me down to like my resting heart rate and how many times I breathe a fucking minute and you didn't know that I'm upset? Are you joking?" I hold up my index finger. "ONE your ex girlfriend is like stalking me or some shit. TWO we argued yesterday probably for the first time ever which was awful enough on it's own. But THREE we did NOT make up after and yeah Christian that's important because that connection between us? IT'S IMPORTANT. Which leads me to why we didn't have sex. FOUR my father went into the hospital! Five, I wake up this morning without you and you won't so much as look at me! So yeah, I'm upset and I just want some god damn affection!" _Jesus Christ, Anastasia, could you sound any more like a psycho?_ "And now six I'm upset because I sound like a crazy person" I try to move away but he pushes me back against the wall.

"Are you done?" He asks. I nod in response and he runs his finger over my bottom lip, stroking it back and forth. "Good" he whispers. "Anastasia"

"Yes" I squeak out knowing that I'm about to get angry fucked, or made love to.

"Do you think I should give in to your little temper tantrum?"

"It wasn't a-"

"Yes it was. You stamped your feet at me. Twice"

"To get my point across" I whisper.

"You think it worked?" he asks

"Look, Christian I don't know if this is some weird foreplay or what but I'm honestly not in the mood. Maybe the execution was off but I mean what I said"

He tucks a hair that had fallen out of the pony tail behind my ear and runs his nose down my cheek. I can hear him inhaling my scent and the simple act sets my skin on fire. "I am sorry, angel"

I push him slightly away from me knowing that I needed to look him in the eye. "Okay"

"I should have been more sensitive to what you needed"

"I just needed _you_ "

His nostrils flare and he wraps his hand around my ponytail and yanks it so that he has better access to my mouth. He brings his mouth to mine, kissing me harshly. His tongue invades my mouth aggressively. This is more than just a kiss. It's possessive and raw and it's what I needed. Him to make me his. To kiss me so ferociously that I feel in control. Grounded. Safe. A kiss that made me remember that despite everything he was in this with me. I feel his teeth nibbling my bottom lip, his tongue exploring my mouth as if he's making love to it. This is one of those kisses that makes you feel like you could come if you do it for long enough. _Fuck_. He pulls away and I'm left out of breath as I wipe the mixture of our spit off of my mouth. I want to say something, anything. But I'm at a loss for words. I wonder if he will say something first. I don't know what he's going to do but nothing could prepare me for what he does next. He backs away from me slowly his eyes never leaving mine before he turns and leaves.

"Christian?" I call after him, knowing that my voice sounds shaky both out of lust and nervousness. I go to follow him when he stops mid stride and turns around.

"Don't" he says. And it's if that kiss didn't happen. Or worse that was some sort of break up kiss. I bite my bottom lip to prevent from asking. "You know I forget sometimes how young you are. How much about me and this you don't know.. or understand. How much about _you_ and this that _I_ don't know or understand. Ana, there are days where I have tunnel vision about work, because that's how I've been for five god damn years. Where I can't see anything but GEH. You haven't really had to see it because my tunnel vision has moved direction... for the past month all I can see is _you_. But make no mistake, Ana, I am a very busy man and I have made a lot of sacrifices at work having you in my life. Sacrifices I wouldn't change for _anything_ " he says the last part so low it makes me shiver. "But cut me some fucking slack, woman. I don't know all the fucking signals and signs when you're upset because you're right I haven't had to read them before. And I should have been more sensitive to your needs about everything that happened yesterday but I've been up for over 24 straight hours and I don't need you screaming at me for it. We're both going to make mistakes here, but that" he says pointing behind us referring to my earlier behavior. "Is not helping"

I look down feeling scolded and I will myself not to cry. "I'm sorry" I whisper.

"When we first started this, you got grounded... for lying to your parents" he says. "But _this_? This was the first time I felt like I was actually dating someone in high school"

My eyes shoot up at the low blow he's just ushered and the tears flood them immediately. The "do not cry" chant gone completely out the window. "I..." I don't even know what to say at this point so I say what I feel. "Please don't hate me"

"I don't hate you, Ana" he tucks a hair behind my ear and the small gesture does nothing but make the tears build faster. "I do have to go to the office, so I want to put this conversation on hold. This is not me not caring. But there are a lot of people's jobs on the line right now, and I have to take care of this. And I need you to understand. And if you can't then maybe we can't do this... because the woman I'm with... if I am ever with a woman in this capacity again other than you, she _has_ to get it."

"Okay" I think if I say anything else I'll lose it and that won't do us any good.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You have GOT to be kidding" Kate says as she sits on the couch next to me nursing the glass of wine she grabbed from Christian's wine cellar. _I hope this wasn't expensive because we are drinking it like it's water._ I tried to tell Kate not to come but she was not having it. When she walked in, all it took was a "What happened" for me to lose it. It's been two hours and I haven't stopped crying yet. _Jesus how have my tear ducts not dried up._

"He's so upset"

"With reason"

"What?" I say whipping my head to look at my best friend.

"I mean he said some shit too but come on Ana, you did throw a temper tantrum"

"Who's side are you on?" I sniffle as I wipe the tears from my eyes feeling more anger than sadness right now.

"The side of reason! Which both of you seem to be lacking right now"

"He wasn't-"

"He wasn't what? There when you woke up to lick your pussy and tell you that you're perfect?"

My mouth drops open at her crass statement and I shake my head. "I just wanted him to tell me everything was going to be fine"

"Bullshit you wanted him to stroke your hair and tell you you're pretty"

"Did not!"

"Yes you did, and that's fine. We all want that. But you keep that crazy. shit. in. check. And when you do let it out you make damn sure he's in it for the long haul. Like... when you're knocked up or have a ring on it or something" she says taking a sip of her wine.

"Did I scare him away?" I say my eyes widening.

"I don't know.. maybe not? Look... relationships are hard. And this is your first one. He's older, and it's his first one also. There's a learning curve. You guys kind of jumped into this feet first. I mean look around you? You're living with him, he bought you a car and a phone and... you're both extremely co-dependent on each other already. He wants to take you to Paris. He looks at you like you walk on water, Ana. He would probably marry you tomorrow if you weren't still in high school. Most people at least date like at least two months before all this?" She shrugs. "But what do I know"

"I know this was all very fast but... I love him Kate"

"I know. I think I love Elliott too"

"I don't think-" I start. "I know"

"We're eighteen, Ana. We don't _know_ anything" Kate says sadly knowing that applies just as much to her as it does to me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At some point, Kate left. I think she wanted to stay to make sure I would be okay, but I assured her I was fine and sent her on her way. Since then, I've just been sitting in the living room staring at the fire I started. I look at my phone and see it's 7:30. He's been gone for almost 8 hours without so much as a message. I start to wonder if maybe I should start packing my things. _Maybe he doesn't want me to be here when he gets back? No he said we were putting the conversation on hold._ My phone vibrates and my heart skips a beat when I see his name.

 **Have you eaten?**

 _ **No.**_

 **Of course you haven't.**

 _ **Have you?**_

 **No.**

 _ **Do you want me to make you something?**_

 **No, I'll pick up something for us on my way home**

 _ **Are you on your way?**_

 **Yes, I'll see you shortly**

I want to tell him I love him but I refrain, wondering if he would say it back. About 20 minutes later, I smell the food from our favorite Thai restaurant wafting through the penthouse. I look up and see him place the food down, we lock eyes and I give him a small smile and wave and then he's moving towards me fast. I stand up just in time for him to scoop me in his arms and crush me hard to his chest. I feel his hand behind my head as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. He starts to stroke my back softly and that simple gesture pushes me back over the edge and I feel myself start to cry.

He sets me down and wipes my eyes gently. "Please don't cry, angel"

He hasn't called me that in almost twenty four hours and the thought makes me cry harder. "You are so mad at me" I whisper.

"I'm not mad" he whispers in my ear. "Come eat something" he grabs my hand and leads me to the breakfast bar. He pulls out my favorite, Pad Thai and grabs a bowl spooning it out for me.

"Thank you" I say quietly unsure of how to gauge this situation.

He sits next to me and watches me take a few bites before grabbing my right hand and holding it between his. After a moment he brings it to his lips and kisses it. "I was angry. I shouldn't have... The things I said to you were said out of anger, Ana."

"There was some truth to them though"

"Yes.. some.. very little truth. But the way I said them.. I'm sorry"

"So am I... I acted.. childish" I say biting my bottom lip.

"I can't keep throwing your age in your face like that whenever I get upset. It's wrong. And you're really not _that_ much younger than me"

"I'm in high school"

"Not for much longer" he smiles.

"Christian... what you said..." I trail off. "About us... if I can't understand about work... I... that hurt. And I know it wasn't malicious, you were just being honest. Of course I understand that you have to work. I know you can't spend all your time playing around with me, as lovely as that would be" I give him a small smile that doesn't reach my eyes. "I'm sorry that I wasn't more understanding. That I got so upset and behaved that way... I just felt so out of control. And you... ground me. And when I felt your distance this morning.. I don't know I snapped"

"Baby, we hardly even spoke this morning, maybe therein lies the problem, but I wasn't being distant I was just busy. And I should have realized you needed... some attention and I'm sorry"

"You make it seem like.. I'm not that needy, Christian"

"I know. I think that's why it caught me so off guard"

"It's like I was wound so tight and I was just craving some connection with you"

"Tell me that next time"

"I didn't want to seem clingy"

"So you thought the approach you took was better?"

I roll my eyes and he shoots me a stern look and I give him a small smile. "No, it was all wrong"

"I felt like shit the second I said... what I said. About us..." he says.

"Same" I whisper.

"I knew that you understood and this all just got blown up and out of proportion, but if for some reason you did not understand the dedication I have for GEH... I would have made you... somehow... because there was no way I was giving you up. I should never have suggested that there could even be any girl after you... ever. You are it, Anastasia. You... or..." I think he's going to say no one but he shocks me when he says "You. Those are the only two options for me"

The food has long been forgotten at this point as he pulls me out of the chair and up the stairs to our bedroom. I reach for his shirt ripping it open, sending buttons flying everywhere causing him to chuckle. "Now I know how you feel when I ruin your clothes" I step into his arms, wrapping my arms around him and rubbing my cheek against his warm chest. I move my face and places kisses across his abs, as that's where my mouth comes up to. I stand on my tippy toes trying to reach his chest with my mouth when I'm hoisted into his arms. "I thought you needed some help" I go for his neck, drawing my teeth across his pulse point and run my tongue from his ear, down his neck and then back up to his mouth. "That tongue is sinful" he growls into my mouth and I moan in response.

He lays us down on the bed, our mouths never losing contact as he crushes me into the bed allowing most of his weight to lie on me. I wrap my legs around him and feel him start to grind himself into my core. His cock along with the zipper of his jeans creating some friction against my thin sweat pants. "Take them off" I whisper and before I can think my pants are across the room and my legs are spread as far as they can go and his hands are digging into my thighs as he holds them down. I wonder if I'll have bruises from his fingers tomorrow but I can't think about anything except for the scrap of fabric separating my unbelievably wet center from my boyfriend's mouth.

"Do you know how much I love you, Anastasia?" he says as he begins to suck on the skin on my inner thigh. I feel him take the skin between his teeth and bite down causing me to yelp. "I'm going to give you so many of these tonight you'll never get confused for what I feel for you, Ana. Even if I have to work around the clock for a straight week." he growls. "I need to know you aren't going to jump ship when you feel neglected" he bites down again and I wonder if he's trying to break the skin.

"Christian, I won't" I groan.

"Promise me" he grits out. "Promise me you'll never assume I don't care about your feelings. Because there will be sometimes I fuck up, or act like an asshole. But I will never not love you. I will never not want you. I will never not possess you" He growls as he lets my skin go with a pop. "I don't give a fuck if you understand it or not, accept it or not, Anastasia. You are mine."

"I understand it" I groan. "I accept it. I want it. I _need_ it"

"What do you need, Anastasia?" he whispers as he begins to attack my other thigh. Biting, licking, sucking. I can only imagine what the inside of my thighs are going to look like tomorrow. I clench at the sexiness of it all. The marking me, the making me his.

"To be yours" I whisper.

"Again" he barks out as he bites down harder this time and I scream.

"Make me yours, Christian."

I feel my underwear being ripped off of me and the tip of his tongue lapping at me so lightly, it's as if he's not touching me at all. "I could stare at your pussy all day, Anastasia. It's... perfect"

I grind myself further on the bed when I grab his hair and pull hard so we are nose to nose. "Stop looking at it and fuck it already" I whine.

"I'm not done" he says moving back down my body, placing kisses on my nipples, my ribcage, my stomach, my pubic bone. "Do you know what I thought about when I left here?" He says moving back to my thighs which are already feeling like the bruises are forming.

"Wh-what?" I breathe out.

"You"

"Uh huh" I moan.

"In this beautiful fucking dress"

"Mmmhmm" I groan as I feel his mouth inching closer.

"A white one"

"What was I doing?" I say, so overcome with lust and desire that I'm not fully comprehending what he's telling me.

He chuckles and places a kiss on the inside of my right thigh that now has a temporary imprint of his teeth. "Giving yourself to me."

"I already do that"

"Till death do us part"

My eyes fly open at his words and when I do his face is no longer in between my legs but two inches away from me, staring at me. "What?" I say so quietly I don't think he heard it.

"I need you to be mine in every way possible" he says.

My mouth drops open. "Say it. I mean... say the words. So there is no.. confusion"

"I want to marry you, Anastasia Steele. And I'm _going_ to"

"I... I don't have a say?" I ask trying to diffuse this intense situation with some humor.

He raises an eyebrow. "Not if it's not what I want to hear" he growls. "But I know" he says. "I know you crave me as much as I do you, angel"

I nod. "Yes"

"Say you will... one day"

I blink the tears that are forming in my eyes before nodding. "Yes, God yes" I whisper against his lips before I feel him slip inside of me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My head is lying on Christian's chest as I feel him stroking my hair. _Kate was right, I do love when he strokes my hair._ "It hurt" he says after a while.

"What did?" I ask.

"When you said that I never had to care about a woman's feelings before. It made me feel like a monster. Well that you saw me as one"

"I shouldn't have said that."

"But you're right. I never cared what a sub thought, they weren't supposed to have feelings. I know they did, and that's why I ended the contract early with so many of them. But I never really cared. I was so... shitty to them."

"You weren't... it was a contract. Doms and subs... there were clear defined lines. We are in a relationship, it's different"

"I know. But... knowing you saw me as this man that couldn't express empathy or care towards another woman..."

"I don't see you that way. I know you care about people. So many people... You have such a big heart, Christian"

"When it comes to you... yes. You're about it, though" he says as he grabs my leg and drapes it across his. It's as if he can't get close enough to me, and I feel the same.

"More than just me, Christian.. but nevertheless I'm sorry I said that"

"I'm sorry for everything, angel."

I nod. "Can we just put this behind us"

"I would love that" he says.

"I love you" I say.

He moves so that I'm underneath him and he smiles a smile that makes him look about 5 years younger. "Say it again"

"I love you? You know I do" I whisper.

"Again"

"I love you" I whisper against his lips.

"Please never stop"

 **A/N: You guys know sometimes I write a chapter and have all these plans for it and then I get fixated on like one specific thing? That happened here... but I think it was kind of necessary and inevitable. Like Kate said, there is a bit of a learning curve and after 2 months they're not supposed to have the hang of it yet, right?**


	10. Intriguing Ideas

"Are you going to winter formal?" I ask Kate as we take our usual seats in our Chemistry class.

"Probably not" she shrugs as she picks at her cuticles. "It's not exactly like I can bring Elliott"

"I know that's why I'm asking. But you're nominated for Snow Queen" I say. "What if you win?"

She snorts and rolls her eyes. "Who gives a shit? Why would I want to go to some unbelievably lame dance, without my boyfriend to hangout with people I don't even like?"

"It's like a high school rite of passage, Kate. Dances and... I don't know. You like some of our friends?" _Kate is one of those popular girls that thinks it's a nuisance. She'd much rather be left alone or hangout with me than with a huge group of people. Can't say I blame her. Though I am much more welcoming to our peers._

"I like Elliott more" she says. "Well with the exception of you. Wait, are _you_ going? You can't bring your man candy either, Ana."

I shrug. "I mean.. I thought about it. It's our last one and..." I trail off. "They are kind of fun?" _This is the last chance we have to do things like this. Should we really be giving them up? It's not like I would be dancing with other guys._

"You would find dances fun" she snorts. "You also like a lot more people than I do... and they like you. Dances are fun when you're popular. They're a social event." She pulls my Chemistry notebook out from in front of me and begins to copy my homework as if it's the most natural thing in the world. "What does that say?" she points at a small equation and I squint at her.

"Kate, you _are_ popular" I say ignoring her question.

She scoffs. "Ugh don't remind me."

"And what about Prom?" I ask.

"What about Prom?" She asks.

"You're really not going to go?"

"Where?" She says not looking up from the paper in front of her. _Kate, focus!_

"PROM!"

"Oh..umm I hadn't really thought about it, it's five months away"

"You can't take Elliott there either. And I understand Winter Formal... because whatever most people haven't even heard of it... but Prom? That's universally big"

"It's a dance, Ana"

"It's like the defining end of high school"

"Iiii think that's graduation" Kate says.

"You know what I mean. You wear this great dress and you dance and... okay that's about it. But you're really not going to go? Because Elliott can't? We could be each other's dates" I say smiling.

"Fine, we can go. I didn't realize it was such a big deal to you"

"I mean it isn't.. but I don't want to look back in ten years and regret not going. And I didn't go last year because I had a competition.. and freshman and sophomores can't go unless they have junior or senior dates, so it'll be my first time. I just want to experience it once"

"Without Christian? The whole fun of Prom is having a date.. that's really what makes it feel magical"

"I guess I'll have to talk to him about it."

"What ask him to take you? They make you provide ID when they don't go to our school yaknow" Kate says laughing.

I sigh and put my head in my hands. "I know"

"Oooh maybe we can sneak them in!" Kate says her eyes dancing excitedly at having come up with a scheme. I see the wheels turning in her head and I know I have to stop this now before she starts to spiral.

"No Kate! We could get in so much trouble, and they could get arrested for trespassing"

"Or we could get them fake IDs"

"To make them... younger?" I ask raising an eyebrow. "Never thought I'd see the day when anyone wants that" I chuckle to myself. "Anyway, Christian is pretty recognizable I don't think he could get away with it.

"Prom is still months away" Kate says. "Gives me time to devise a plan. If it doesn't work, we'll go together. Prom is at least not on school grounds. Last year we had it at that swanky ballroom. But I'm not going to Winter Formal in our fucking gymnasium when I could have my legs wrapped around Elliott's face for most of the night. No thanks" she says. She sees the look of disappointment on my face and I can tell she's trying to come up with something to cheer me up. "The four of us should go do something fun instead of Winter Formal"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe we can convince Christian to take you to a sex party"

"A WHAT!?" I shriek and I bite my lip when all eyes turn to me. _Thank God class hasn't started yet as Mr. Thomas would probably have a cow. Kate and I get in trouble for chatting too much in class on the regular. But I could basically write the Chemistry textbook so I get a pass most of the time._

"Quiet will ya, and tell me what the fuck this says!?" She whispers pointing at my homework.

I take it from her and begin doing it myself, making the usual mistakes Kate makes to not draw too much attention to herself. "Tell me about this sex party"

"I mean it's just what you're thinking"

"Like... everyone has sex with each other?"

"No.. well if you're into that? It's just a party and you can watch people have sex or you can participate or whatever... really nothing is off limits. I mean within reason. But it's doms and subs from all over. Some people go to meet a new sub or dom, some go to play with other subs and doms. Anyway, Elliott took me once and we only watched. Elliott doesn't like the idea of letting people watch us.. well watch me. But it was the most erotic foreplay ever. I had the sex of my life when we got home." I am rendered speechless as I am witnessing Katherine Kavanagh blush as she talks about sex.

I put the pen down and lean back in my chair, crossing my arms. "You're blushing" I say raising an eyebrow.

"Shutup" she says hitting my shoulder playfully as Mr. Thomas comes in effectively shutting that conversation down immediately.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My mind wanders to the conversation with Kate as I'm in the car driving home to Escala from dance practice. _A sex party? Why am I so intrigued? Would Christian take me? Would he want to go? Would he want to have sex with someone else? Would he let me have sex with someone else?_ I snort at the thought. _Yeah right. Not that I would even want to. The thought of him loaning me to some other dom makes my blood run cold._

I'm greeted with the smell of lasagna wafting it's way through the penthouse as I move through it. "Hi Gail" I smile as I sit in the stool like I do almost everyday when I get home.

"Hi hon, how was your day?" She asks handing me a bottle of water like she does almost everyday.

"It was okay"

"Did you get your English paper back?" she asks as she goes back to cooking.

I smile thinking about how close Gail and I have become. She's taken on this motherly role to me- and Christian for that matter without being too overbearing. It was just what I needed as this rift between my own mother and I seem to be growing by the day. She checks in every so often but I mainly speak with my father. "Nope. I don't know why Mrs. Gibson is taking her sweet time. Just give me the A I deserve and let's move on"

"It was a great paper, you have such a way with your words Ana. You should think about writing, or maybe working for a publishing house. You love to read. It's wonderful when work can become your passion." Gail says and I cock my head to the side letting her words wash over me. _I had never thought of that before. I was drilled at such a young age that ballet was my destiny. Maybe it wasn't?_ "Dinner should be ready in about 20 minutes. Mr. Grey is in his office"

"Oh I didn't expect him here so soon" I say as I make my way upstairs. I listen to see if he's on the phone before opening the door. He looks up immediately and beckons me over with his finger with a look that sets my skin on fire. I'm in straddling his lap within a second and his lips are on my neck.

"I thought I was going to have to come find you."

"Sorry I was talking to Gail" I say as I tilt my head back allowing him to have better access.

"Come to me when you get home, Anastasia. Especially when I haven't had your sweet little ass under me in almost 20 hours." I groan as I remember we didn't have time for anything this morning.

"I like talking to Gail" I say pulling away from him to narrow my eyes. "And she's always there to greet me when I get home." I say raising an eyebrow. "Maybe if you were in the foyer waiting for me... shirtless... you'd get a kiss right away" I giggle. "Besides I didn't know you were here" I say pecking his nose lightly before he moves his face capturing my lips with his.

"How was your day?" he whispers between kisses.

I pause recalling mine and Kate's conversation about winter formals, and prom and sex parties and then just this recent conversation about Gail that has me questioning my entire existence, I go with the truth. "Informative. And slightly intriguing"

"Oh?" I hear the question in his voice as he lets his tongue roam freely along my neck and ear. I pull back slightly and bite down on my lower lip and smile. "You want something" he says shooting me a sexy smirk.

I nod my head. "I just want to have the conversation. And I don't want you to freak out on me"

He narrows his eyes at me before he runs a hand through his hair. "I'm not making any promises"

My lip juts out giving him my best pout and puppy dog eyes and he chuckles. "That is so cheap. Go on"

"A few things" He gives me a look telling me to continue so I do. "I want to go to Prom"

"You should go to Prom, Ana" he says as I feel him start to pull some of the bobby pins out of my hair to release the bun.

"But you can't take me"

"I figured as much" he says.

"I want you to take me" I say as I reach up and touch his cheek. "Prom is special, and I've never been"

He chuckles. "Me either so I would never deny you going"

"You haven't?"

"No. _She_ wasn't too keen on the idea"

My blood begins to boil at the mention of that fucking pedophile. "Bitch" I grit out with so much venom in my voice Christian's eyes widen.

"Easy tiger" he says before rubbing his nose with mine. "You're not going with a date" he says sternly.

"No shit Sherlock." I say rolling my eyes and I feel a pinch on my ass causing me to yelp. "Hey!"

"Eyes"

I resist the urge to do it again and I move my hands to his chest laying them flat on him. I want him to know how serious I am about all of this and I need the dom persona out of the building for a minute. "Take me"

"To prom? Anastasia, how do you think I can do that? I can't exactly walk through the front door"

"Kate suggested getting you a fake ID"

"Because I'm not splashed across Seattle newspapers and tabloids daily? Not to mention national news?"

"We could change up your look? Give you some glasses, you can shave, give you a hat. You can be a whole new guy that I met at the library" I shrug.

He chuckles. "I would do anything for you, you know that?" He says as he pulls the last pin out letting my hair spill out into the pony tail.

I nod. "You never had a prom experience, and you need that just as much as I do"

"Let me think about it. Maybe we could talk to your school? I can donate some money or something" he shrugs.

"Do you always throw money at the problem?" I ask narrowing my eyes.

"No, but it works more often than it doesn't" he says cheekily. "What else you got?"

"Well the whole conversation started because Kate and I were talking about Winter Formal"

"Oh?" He says as he pulls my hair out of the ponytail holder and begins to massage my head as he knows the tight buns sometimes give me headaches.

"She kind of talked me out of going" I say shrugging. "She says its lame, and would rather spend time with Elliott"

"Do _you_ want to go?"

I shrug. "I'm okay with not going. I want you to be able to take me. And if Kate isn't going, I probably wouldn't have that much fun anyway"

"You sure about that?"

"Am I lame for wanting to go?"

"No baby, not at all"

"Welllllll... I would be okay with an alternative. So we can be together" I say with a twinkle in my eye.

"Why do I get the feeling that I am not going to like this idea?"

I shrug. "I just want you to keep an open mind"

"Okaaaayyy" he says dragging the word out.

"Kate thought we could.. go to a party?"

"A party?" Christian asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"You know like a... sex... party..."

"WHAT?!" He says so loud I shrink slightly.

"I am right here!" I say. "Burst my eardrums why don't ya"

"Don't be cute, Ana. I am going to throttle Kate. Why would she-" he reaches behind me to grab his phone and within a second I hear ringing.

"Christian stop!" I say trying to reach behind me but it's too late as Elliott's voice floods the room.

"Sup baby bro, what's up?"

I start to protest when I feel a hand over my mouth and I humph at him. "Did you take Kate to a fucking sex party?"

"Yeah... why?"

"Because she has now put the idea in Ana's head and I have her here now, wanting to go!"

"So take her." He says on the other end as if it's the most obvious answer in the world.

I look at him with a cheeky expression, taunting him with my eyes that say _you and I both know I am about to get my way._

"Elliott.. she's not ready for something like that! I-" he looks at me and I warn him with my eyes not to divulge anything to private to Elliott especially not with me sitting on his lap at the moment. "You know that she's very new to all of this. And you want to take her to one of those?"

"So you don't take her to one of the really aggressive ones? No one says you take her to one of Ken's parties. Hell no, Kate isn't even ready for that. Take her to a mild one. One that isn't a giant orgy" My eyes widen at the words "aggressive" and "orgy". _Has he been to one of those? Has he been in an orgy? Now I have questions._ "You'll be with her, you'll collar her, it'll be fine" He's removed his hand from my mouth so I mouth the word 'collar?' at him and he nods.

"Apparently Kate thinks we should all go together like some sort of fucking family outing"

"I mean maybe Ana would feel more comfortable with Kate there"

"No, Elliott"

"Okay? Look this is the first I'm hearing of any of it, don't jump down my throat!"

"I'll call you later"

"Laters"

He ends the call and looks at me. "Is this something you really want to do? Don't feel like you have to do anything to please me. Or prove anything to anyone"

"I wanted to go in one of those rooms at the club.. you know that" I say softly. "I am interested in exploring this aspect of your life that I really don't understand"

"Okay but Ana, sex parties aren't essential to the BDSM culture. Yes they are an aspect, but the BDSM that I engage in is monogamous. These parties typically, are not"

"Like Ken's?"

"Yes"

"We wouldn't go there though?"

"Absolutely not. I wouldn't even be able to turn my head without some other dom trying to paw at you and then I would be in jail for murdering someone" he says rubbing his head.

"I thought I would be collared?"

"Oh you bet your sweet ass you would be collared. But some of the guys that Ken lets in... they don't respect all the rules. No one there is off limits until a submissive explicitly says no. Your collar won't hold as much value there"

"Oh" I say my lips forming an O shape. "But a more mild party?"

"I am... open to the idea"

I smile a bright smile and I cup his cheeks before planting a kiss on his lips. "Thank you, baby"

"I am not saying yes"

I giggle as I lean my head against his shoulder and begin to kiss his neck. "Uh huh"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm staring at the get up that Christian laid out for me on the bed and my heart already begins to race. It's a pair of leather tight leggings and a black crop top that doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination as it opens slightly in the back as well. My hair and makeup are done so all I have to do is slip this on before we go to my first sex party. I hear a sharp intake of breath behind me and I turn around to see Christian eyeing me like I am water in the desert. I realize I am completely naked from the waist down and only wearing two pasties on my breasts. Like I could wear a bra with this top and going commando just seemed... appropriate. Within a flash he's in front of me and I feel his hands wrap around my back and rest on my bare behind.

"You are delectable."

"Thank you, sir" I whisper quietly.

His eyes darken and I can tell he's gritting his teeth to keep some semblance of control, or else we will be late. He holds up my collar with his index finger. "This is for you"

I look at the diamond encrusted jewelry he's holding and my mouth drops open. "Christian that is-"

"Master" I nod. "The second I lock this on I am master do you understand?"

"You're always Master" I say my eyes dancing playfully.

He smiles at me before walking into our bathroom and grabbing a robe. "Put this on for a second you're distracting me. All I can picture is you riding me right now." He ties it together and looks at me. "Ana"

"Christian?"

He sighs. "Baby, you know your safe words"

"Yes" I nod.

"What are they?"

"Red and yellow" I say softly.

He takes a step closer to me and his scent invades my nostrils. "I need you to feel safe at all times. If you don't or if you want to leave at any time you have to tell me"

I nod. "I'm not made of glass Christian. It's going to be fine" I say trying to calm whatever fears he has rolling through his mind right now.

"You are mine" he growls and I wonder if he's saying it to me or myself or the universe but I respond the only way I know how.

"I am yours" I bite my bottom lip to get my point across and he smiles.

"Do you think you will want to play there?"

"You.. we can?"

He rubs his jaw before scratching at the stubble. "I know the guy that is running it very well. I know that there are some private rooms. I told him I may need one. So it's reserved for now"

"For us?"

He nods before fingering one of my curls. "Yes angel"

"I think... I think I will want to, but can we see how I feel once we are there?"

"Yes" he chuckles. "Tonight is about you, Ana"

"Okay. But... you're my dom, aren't you supposed to know what I want before I do? Maybe some gentle pushing won't hurt?" I smile.

"I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want"

I nod before moving into his arms. I give him a tight hug before moving my face up indicating I want a kiss. "I love you" I whisper before his touch mine. He gives me a quick kiss that does nothing for the fire burning below brought on by the preparations of going to this party.

"I love you" he says before reaching into his pocket. "So I had an idea..." he trails off and I look at him curiously. He pulls out two silver balls and holds them up for me to see. "I was kinda thinking we could try this?"

"What... are those?"

"They go.. inside of you" he says and my eyes widen.

"Where?" I ask the blood rushing to my cheeks immediately.

He unties my robe, letting it fall to the ground and snakes his hand between us and begins to rub the slick folds between my legs before pushing them in side of me. "Here"

"They.. they would be in the whole time?"

He nods. "Yes"

"Can I take them out if I don't like them?"

"You'll like them" he says and the words send a jolt to my clit and it begins to throb painfully.

"Okay" I say reluctantly.

"Bend over" I do as he says and I hear him whistle in appreciation causing me to mentally cheer. I feel his breath on my butt and soon I feel the intrusion of him putting both balls inside of me. I feel him place a kiss on my folds before he spreads my cheeks dragging his tongue between them. My mouth drops open in shock and I can't stop the thrill running through me at this taboo act. He doesn't dwell back there long placing a kiss on both cheeks before standing up. "Okay stand up now" I do and turn around my eyes wide from both lust and curiosity at having this man's tongue actually in my ass. "How do you feel?" I don't even have the words to describe what I'm feeling right now and he chuckles at my loss for words. "It's only a matter of time, Anastasia" he says picking up my collar and placing it around my neck.

"Till when?"

"Till we start fully exploring ass play" and with that he clicks and locks my collar shut.

I know I must look like a deer in headlights. "But-"

"Not now" he counters. "But soon" he says his eyes dancing.

"I can't get this off without the key?"

"Nope"

"Where will it be?"

"Here"

"Here?!" I squeak.

"Yes, there is no need for your collar to be off for any reason tonight. We are going there and then coming straight home after. I'll be needing to fuck you into the middle of next week if I don't while we are there"

"But what if something happens? What if it needs to come off?"

"Anastasia it is a small key, I don't want to lose it. And why are you arguing with me?" he says sternly. Clearly the dom side is taking over.

"I'm sorry, sir." I say looking down.

"Hey" he says lifting my chin before kissing my lips. "I probably won't tell you that I love you while we are there. But you know that I do, right?"

"Yes"

"Good. Finished getting dressed and let's go. I'll be waiting downstairs."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We had all decided that it would be best if it were just Christian and I at my first party and we would consider joining Kate and Elliott for one if I liked it later down the road. We are standing in the foyer signing our NDA's and handing over our licenses. We left our phones in the car with Taylor who is parked right outside as they are not allowed in. "Grey, it's been a while" a man comes from down the stairs and shakes his hand. He eyes me carefully and I realize my mistake and immediately avert my gaze to the ground.

He chuckles at me. "She must be new"

"Yes" he says.

"You two have fun" he says as he heads back upstairs.

"Sorry Master" I say softly as we move through the hall.

"Don't be, you can look at people here, obviously. That's part of the fun, watching people interact. But I am proud of you. However, Ana do not engage with another dom without my permission."

"But Master, how will I know who is a dom and who is a- oh subs will be collared?"

"Shit I should have prepared you better for this... Yes subs will be collared unless they are not with a dom and then they're kind of like a free agent. No dom will approach you since you are collared." he says. "If he does, I'm going to jail"

"Please don't hit anyone" I say as I look up from the ground into his eyes.

"Then no one better mess with what is mine" he pulls my arm through the curtains and I am in awe at the scene around me. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting this. Everyone looked so... _normal_. I chuckle to myself and catch a peek at Christian and he's smiling. "Doms and subs gotta eat too, baby" he whispers in my ear. "There isn't a lot of playing done in here. This is the main floor. The house is 5 floors. The downstairs or the dungeon is where the extreme playing is and it's kind of a mix between all of the floors. Anything goes down there. The third, fourth and fifth are different based on what you're in to. They all kind of intertwine but each floor there is a main theme"

"Like what, Master?"

He pulls me into a corner out of earshot and hands me a glass of champagne. He must think I am nervous, and I am. And the bubbles immediately calm my nerves. "Third is private group play. They have rooms large enough for multiple parties involved. Threesomes, foursomes, swinging, orgies. There are multiple beds, toys, things like that. Fourth floor is viewing rooms. They have each room set up with a glass wall for those to watch. But sometimes there will be group play in there, it's basically for those who want to watch or be watched. The third and fifth floor are only for the eyes of the participants."

"What is the fifth floor?"

"That's where we will be if we go. It's private rooms. Just two people. No third party, no one watching. Just you and me" he whispers and my skin tingles with anticipation.

"I think I want to go there, Master"

"Already?"

"Maybe after we go to the fourth floor?" I ask biting down on my lower lip.

His eyes dance playfully. "You a little voyeuristic are you?"

"Does that make me weird?" I ask

"No, angel. Let's go downstairs first and then we can go to the fourth. Are you hungry?"

"No Master, you made me eat at home"

He rubs my cheek and smiles. "Yes angel"

We walk down the stairs slowly as I'm in high heels and I'm clinging harder to Christian with every step. We get to the bottom and it's like I'm on sensory overload. I thought Christian's playroom was intense, this was 5 times more. The first thing I noticed was a woman bent over a whipping bench, completely naked as a man, presumably her dom stands over her whipping her with a riding crop. I look up at Christian and he smiles down at me no doubt remembering when he whipped me with one. I look to other side and see a couple engaged in full on intercourse and while seeing it so close is intriguing I am more intrigued by the fact that the man is the one wearing the collar. I look up at Christian and he winks before leaning into to whisper in my ear. "Men are submissives too, baby"

"I-I know, Master"

"You'd make a sexy as fuck, dom. I'm getting hard just thinking about it"

"I..."I trail off

"Later" he says with so much promise that I wonder if he means we will talk about it later, or it will actually happen later. _Fuck, am I ready for that?_

 _"_ How are you feeling?" He asks. "With the balls"

I've been clenching with every step as the balls are rubbing against the walls inside of me. I let out a breathy moan. "Good, Master" I nod.

"Mmmhm. I'll bet you're dripping all over the inside of these leggings" I mewl as I picture what he's saying. _The floodgates have been opened._ I clench my thighs together trying to keep all of the fluids inside of me.

We are moving back up the stairs to the fourth floor and I am surprised to see that we are alone in one of the viewing rooms. "No one wants to watch these two?"

"I asked that we be alone"

"Why?"

"In case you had questions, and I wanted you to be comfortable to ask them freely. Also they don't like talking in here"

"I don't have to talk" I whisper.

"No angel, I know you have questions. I know we weren't in the basement long, but what did you think?"

"It was... wow" I blow out a breath. "A lot. Have you ever had sex.. there?"

"No, Ana. I told you when I had sex in the past it was only for my eyes"

"So why do you come here?"

"I do like to watch. Not alone, but I have come here with subs before"

I nod. "I see"

"Angel" he says and I turn back to look at him. "Do you want to go upstairs?"

I bite my bottom lip and smile. "Yes please Master. I want-I want to please you"

"Come" he says giving me a breathtaking smile. We start moving to the stairs. We get to the top of the stairs and there is a door to the left of us and the right of us followed by a long hallway of doors. The door to the left says sub and the door to the right says dom. I narrow my eyes confused and look to him for direction. "You just go in there to get ready. Take your clothes off and put on the robe just to walk through the hall."

"It's like a locker room?" I giggle and he shoots me a look .

"Not one of the fanciest sex parties on the block, but he's discreet and lowkey. And the guy who runs it is a good guy, I've known him for years." He slaps my butt. "Now go. We're in room 506"

I nod. "Yes Master. See you soon"

I enter the room and despite the cold drabness of the hallway, the room is beautiful. The walls are a deep purple accented with white furniture and pearl white fixtures. There's wine and champagne and fruit sitting against the wall. There's a sink and a tiny room with a shower off to the side and in front of the mirror are an array of hygienic products. I do a quick test to see if I could use some deodorant as I am prone to a light sweat when I'm nervous but I'm good. I see a girl in the corner of the room, but the lights are pretty dim so I don't get a good look at her. Her hair is down covering her face but I do get a peek of a collar between the hair. I doubt we are supposed to converse with each other so I begin to disrobe. I hear the door open and close behind me and I turn to see the other girl gone. _Go head girl, get yours._ I giggle to myself. I finish fluffing my hair and put my robe on when a woman comes in and touches my shoulder gently causing me to jump.

"Oh I'm so sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to startle you"

"It's... it's okay."

"I was just coming to tell you- you're Grey's sub correct? Anastasia?"

"Yes?"

"Okay, slight change we've moved you to room 507, okay? I am so sorry about that. The people in 506 are taking a little longer than we anticipated" she chuckles.

"Okay. I'll go there" I smile and with that she's gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

I can't believe I was so anxious about this. Ana seems to be enjoying herself and no dom has stepped out of line. I think that is what I was most worried about. Some dickless dom, messing with my precious Anastasia. I make my way into the room and already see my Ana kneeling for me in the corner. I see her tense slightly as her back is to me. "It's just me, angel." I see her shoulders relax and as always her pale skin is such a sexy contrast under her dark chestnut brown hair. It's darker than it usually is as I drop a few of the toys on the couch. I am desperate to see my girl's baby blues so I make my way over to her. I'm within a foot of her when I realize something is so not right. I'm immediately furious as I realize that this is not Ana. _So where in the FUCK is she._ I stand in front of the woman on the floor and I immediately see red. "Get. the. fuck. up. now." I say so menacingly low. Leila better know, now is not the time to cross me.

She looks up at me with watery eyes. "I just wanted to speak with you, Master"

"UP!" I shout as I pull her to stand. I am about to explode when I see movement in the corner of my eye and I see Ana standing in the doorway. I can't make out her face but I know this is not going to end well.

 **APOV**

I'm walking through the hall towards 507 when I stop next to 506 and furrow my brow. _I would have felt much better if Christian was the one to have told me that we were in a different room. Maybe just a quick peek... what's the worst they do? I'll say it was a mistake._ I open the door and my mouth drops open as I see Christian and a brown haired girl who is definitely. not. me. She's on her feet and they are staring at each other though I don't know much else as I cannot see their faces. I slam the door behind me. "WHAT THE FUCK"

"Ana.." I hear his voice and I wonder what the hell is going on.

"Stop" I say putting my hand up as I move towards him.

"She talks to you like that, Master?" I hear and I gasp when I put two and two together when I get in front of her to see a conniving smirk spreading across her face.

"Leila? What the fuck? And stop calling him fucking master!" I say as I stand between the two of them. "What did you think was going to happen here?" I say as I move closer to her causing her to take a step back. "You thought you were going to pose as me and he was going to what?... Not notice? Did you think you could get him to fuck you because he thought you were me? Congrats the back of your head fooled him. What did you think was going to happen when he looked at you? News flash, Leila, he looks at me when we make love... or fuck" she shrugs. "You're not me. You never could be me. He does not want you" I take another step. "And if you don't cut this psychotic shit out, Leila. I swear to fucking GOD I will kick your ass." I push her on the shoulder lightly. "This is your final fucking warning"

She looks behind me at Christian and I move to block her view. "Don't look at him. You're talking to me. You have something you'd like to say, you say it to me. Your communication, your contact, it's done. Do not reach out to him again, and right now you're in violation of your restraining order so I would choose my next words or actions carefully if you don't want to end up in the back of a police car" I bite out.

"You can't make him happy! You're just a child! I was the perfect sub, it's all pretend with you! You think-" I have had enough of this rant so I do the only thing I can think of to shut her up. I smack her across the face, hard. I hear a gasp behind me and I'm just as shocked. She is breathing just as hard as I am at this point, but I don't give a fuck, I have had enough of her shit. "Now. You listen to me, Leila. You are going to leave this room, and this party and you are going to stay the fuck out of our lives. Stop following me around, do you understand me?" I see her nod. "Now get. out." I say through gritted teeth.

She turns around and walks a step before turning back around. It all happens so fast but within a split second I see her raise her hand and it coming towards my face when I see Christian's hand wrapped around her arm. "Don't you even dare" he growls at her. The murderous look he gives her even shakes me to my core.

"Mas-Christian I love you too... why her and not me? We can be together like we used to be" she cries and I scoff.

"Get some help, Leila. Clearly you need it" I say.

"We will never be together, Leila. I am with Anastasia now. She is not my sub, she is my girlfriend and I love her. I do not love you." He says in his dom voice and I am so happy that he told her this I could scream.

I watch her leave the room with her head down and before the door even closes I've ripped my robe off and I've jumped into his arms wrapping my legs around him. "Mine" I whisper before I kiss him with every ounce of passion I can muster.

"You're not-pissed?" He asks through the kisses.

"Not at you, God no. Yes I am pissed though. Someone was in on this with her. And I want to know why"

He pulls away from me and looks at me. "What do you mean in on this with her" he growls clearly getting as pissed as I am.

"Some lady came into the sub room and told me that the people in 506 were taking longer than anticipated and that we would be in room 507. I just didn't feel right so I peeked my head in here just to be sure. And low and behold... you were in here with her."

"I knew it wasn't you baby. Once I got within arms reach, I knew. I know your body like the back of my hand" he says as he carries me to the couch and brings me to sit in his lap. I wish I had the robe on now, as I'm feeling a bit vulnerable having this conversation completely naked while he has his dom jeans on.

I shake my head. "I know you would never have touched her. It's not about that at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I trust you" I say softly before wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing myself closer to him.

"Do you want to stay or do you want to go home?"

I bite my bottom lip and shudder for a brief second when I have a vision of Leila and Christian on the bed in this room. I close my eyes willing the crazy thoughts away and look at him. "Can we just get a different room?"

"Of course" he says picking my robe up off the floor. He slides it back over my shoulders and I look up into his eyes and I smile wondering how he'll take what I'm about to ask him.

"What if we went to one of the rooms on the fourth floor?"

 **A/N: Alright! Quick poll, should they go to one of the voyeuristic rooms? Or stay on the fifth floor in the private rooms? Either way a lemon is coming atcha next ;)**


	11. Voyeurism

_I have no idea how I ended up here. What am I doing here? Why have I allowed it to get this far?_ _And then I remember how as I'm following Ana with my eyes around the room. Anastasia Steele. I would do anything in the world for her, evidently even things I swore I would never do. The second she asked to come to the fourth floor so I could fuck her senseless while people fucking watched I exploded, immediately telling her absolutely not. Her delectable little body was for my eyes only. She said she understood; at first she wasn't crazy about the idea either but the thought of other women desiring me, wanting me, while only she got me made her feel like she wanted to beat her chest with pride. That others could look but only she could touch. So my girl is a little cavewoman too. She also said she was curious, and wanted to experiment and learn more about my lifestyle. And then she sunk those teeth into her bottom lip and looked at me with those blue eyes and suddenly I'm in this room getting ready to watch the love of my life get naked for a fucking audience. I look over towards the two way mirror. We can't see them, but they can see us. And I know there are people out there. The thought of other men seeing Ana naked, has me feeling out of control and I hope I don't go too far with her in here. I feel myself getting anxious at the thought of these fuckers seeing what's mine. I've never even considered bringing a sub in here and now I've got Anastasia in here. What the fuck._

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I feel hands on my chest and I look down to see Anastasia, thankfully still clothed. "Baby" I hear her so quietly and I swallow afraid I might snap if I talk.

"We don't have to do this" she whispers. "You look like you're ready to rip someone's head off." She giggles and it sends a jolt straight to my dick. "But it means the world to me that you were willing to try and keep your rage in check. Thank you, for doing this for me in spite of how you felt" She leans up to peck my lips before moving to grab her stuff when I grab her arm and haul her back to my chest.

"Tell me you love me" I growl against her neck as I plant hot, wet kisses from her ear to the base of her throat.

"No" she whispers into the air and I pull back to look at her.

"What?" I ask feeling my heart begin to hammer in my chest. _What is she saying? She doesn't love me? She doesn't want me? Maybe she's realized all this shit is not for her. I'm thinking of all the ways I can try and change her mind when I feel her hands running through my hair before she yanks me back so we are a millimeter apart, breathing in and out the same bit of oxygen between us._

"Saying I love you... it's not enough to describe what I feel for you. Christian..." she stops and I wonder if she's not going to continue. "It's so much more intense than love. I trust you, I respect you, I.. want to spend every minute of the rest of my life in your arms, feeling safe and protected. I want a life, and a family and...forever" she giggles out of what I believe to be nervousness and I lift her into my arms and allow her to wrap her legs around me. I sit her down on the couch before kneeling in front of her my height effectively blocking her from the view of the window.

 _I'm so overwhelmed by her speech and particularly the part about how she trust me to protect her. That's all I want to do in this life, is protect Anastasia from everything. Maybe this means she won't fight me on her safety everyday. I roll my eyes at myself. Right. She wants me to, but I know she's still going to challenge me every step of the way._ "You trust me to keep you safe"

She nods her head at me and smiles. "Yes"

I open her robe putting her breasts on display for me knowing full well based on the position no one can see her. I draw my finger around one of her nipples and it's as if the temperature of the room dropped 20 degrees because her nipples immediately pebbled. I draw my callousy thumb across her nipple and she groans. "Look at me" she obeys my command and I keep eye contact with her as I move closer to her other breast sucking it into my mouth. I see her swallow nervously as she watches me lasciviously attack her breast. I let her go with a pop before drawing my tongue over her nipple, lapping at her lightly. I'm hyperaware of the glass wall behind me and I realize I can't do this. Not with Ana, not now, not ever. I snap her robe together and tie the bow as tight as I can. "You trust me to keep you safe?" I repeat looking up at her with sad eyes.

She sees where I'm going with this but nods anyway. "Of course I do" she whispers.

"Then we are getting the fuck out of here" I say hauling her over my shoulder causing her to squeal.

"Christian! What about my clothes!?" She yells as she sees we are leaving without them in the corner of the room.

"Fuck the clothes" I growl as we make our way down the stairs to collect our licenses.

The door attendant chuckles to himself before handing them to me and I am taking off towards the car, knowing that Ana is wearing literally nothing but a silk robe and I'm not wearing a shirt. As soon as we are in the car, I order Taylor to turn up the heat. "Earpiece, Taylor" I bark, knowing that I'll be needing to be inside of Anastasia, now. I'm glad I had the oversight to bring the car with the privacy screen as well.

"Christian I liked those shoes" I hear the pout in her voice as she nods towards the house where I made her leave her clothes and shoes.

"I'll buy you a new pair"

"That's really not the point" she rolls her eyes and I can feel the lightening bolts shooting out of my eyes towards her.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me? While you're wearing your collar?" Not that we've really been adhering to the rules of the collar since we got to the fifth floor and saw Leila... really when it comes to Anastasia I find myself not adhering to any rules period.

I expect her to make some cheeky remark so I'm shocked when she bows her head. "I'm sorry sir. Would it please you to spank me, Master?"

"When we get home"

"...Or... now" she says looking up at me her eyes dancing playfully.

Ana is small so there is the space for it back here and it would be something I had never done before. "Across my legs" She scrambles across my lap and lays down her stomach resting on my thighs. I lift her robe up and immediately see the goosebumps breakout all over her skin. "Is this what you want?"

"Mmmm yes sir"

I draw a hand over her behind massaging her, but not allowing my hand to get too close to her core when it dawns on me that she still has the balls inside of her. "Anastasia"

"Yes" she squeaks out.

"How are you feeling, angel? I forgot you had something inside of you"

"Mmmm I didn't" she moans as she presses her face into the seat.

"When I spank you, do not come" I don't hear her respond so I tap her behind lightly. "Understand?"

She whimpers and my cock immediately twitches. "Yes sir"

I slap my hand against her ass and the sound reverberates around the back of the car and I feel her rubbing herself against my thigh. "Count Miss Steele"

"One, sir" I rub my hand down her bottom before smacking her again. "Two" I see her rubbing her thighs together no doubt trying to slow her building orgasm.

"Ah ah ah" I say as I pull her legs further apart. "I need to see"

"See... what..." she says trying to catch her breath.

"Your pussy. You're dripping all over me, Anastasia. And it's so fucking hot"

Normally, I know she would be embarrassed but I know she is too turned on to give a shit. I smack her again and she screams "Three!" causing me to chuckle. "Just two more" I smack her twice and by the fifth one I feel her nails digging into my thigh as she's about to shatter. "Sit up" I say and she obliges leaning against the door. I part her legs pulling the balls out of her before sinking them into my mouth to suck her juices off of them. I pull them from my mouth and hold them in front of her. "Open"

She looks at me curiously before opening her mouth slightly. I move closer to her until I'm completely surrounding her and lean into her ear. "I sucked every bit of you off of these balls. But suck them anyway" I whisper sinfully as I slip them past her plump lips. I pull back to watch as she sucks them and all I can picture is her mouth around _my_ balls in the same manner. She lets them slip out of her mouth and I toss them to the side paying no attention to where they landed when I slide my hands inside of her. My fingers slide into her easily as she's soaking wet. I lean forward, my fingers still inside of her and place my lips at her ear. "I have a surprise for you when we get home angel"

She lifts her hips to meet my fingers and I wonder if she even heard what I said. I go to repeat myself when I hear her moan out a breathy "what?"

"You'll see" I say before pulling my fingers out of her causing her to protest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I pull Ana out of the car and into my arms as she's still in little clothing. I move quickly through the garage and into our private elevator before cradling her into my chest. _She's so small. Is she eating enough? I make a mental note to make sure she's eating three square meals. She's too thin._ "Are you cold, angel?" She nods before burying her face into my bare chest and I'm out of the elevator the second it opens, racing to our bedroom. I deposit her on the bed and immediately wrap her in blankets. "Probably should've planned for this better. It is the middle of December" I chuckle. I rub her arms up and down. "I'm sorry"

She reaches for me and I happily oblige as I take a seat next to her and she pulls the blankets off to climb into my arms. "You're much warmer than any blanket"

I take the opportunity to smell her hair and I smile. "So sweet"

"So what is this surprise?" I gently move her off of my lap so that I can get up to find the key to unlock her collar.

I remember my idea and my eyes light up as I put the key in her collar, releasing her neck from the piece. "I am sorry I had to haul you out of the viewing room. The idea of someone watching you... seeing you naked.. seeing you come" I get up and start to pace the length of the floor. "I can't even believe I let you talk me into going there at all, I know you wanted to try-" I'm stopped when I feel tiny arms wrapping around my waist and hair tickling my chest. I look down to see Ana wrapped around me like a vine.

"Stop talking" I hear mumbled before blue eyes look up at me. "Don't apologize. I'm sorry I pushed you to go in there"

I push her hair from her face before kissing her nose. "I had a thought"

"Okay?"

"What if we taped it"

"Taped what?"

"Us?"

"Us..." Ana says and I find it adorable that she has no idea what I'm saying. It only adds to her naivety. _And she wonders why I couldn't bare to have her in there._

"Fucking, Ana. Taped us _fucking_ "

I watch her face transform from shock to intrigue to lust in a matter of seconds and I smile. "Like..." She blows out a breath. "And we can watch it after?"

"Mmmmhm" I say as I nuzzle her face with my cheek.

"Do you have a video camera?" She asks. "Do people even still use video cameras?"

I chuckle and roll my eyes at her knock at my age. "Angel, I have something we can use" I do actually have some decent video equipment for this exact reason.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes later, Christian is finished setting up the camera when he calls for me. I've been in the bathroom the past few minutes making sure I don't look a complete wreck in case we decide to keep this. "What are you doing?" He says leaning against the door jam and staring at me with a look that seems as if he wants to devour me.

"Making sure my hair isn't a rat's nest and putting on some lotion so my skin has a healthy glow"

"You're kidding"

I look down at the brush I'm holding and the lotion sitting in front of me and then look back to him. "Uhh no?"

"Always a smart ass" he chuckles and I wink. "I mean, you look fine, and I'm just going to mess your hair up within the first minute anyway"

"I just want to look good, what if we save it?"

"Oh make no mistake, we are"

"And you swear no one will ever find it?"

He shakes his head adamantly. "Never"

We are back in our bedroom and I see Christian fiddling with the camera as I sit on our bed completely naked. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but I am also unbelievably excited. I've never watched porn and this is going to be like porn, starring me _and Christian_. _I wonder how I will look? Will I look good? I hope my ass doesn't look fat._ I shake the thoughts from my head as I see Christian staring at the camera. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he shakes his head when it dawns on me and I chuckle.

"Baby, do you know what you're doing?"

He shoots me a look. "Yes, Anastasia"

I hop off the bed and move towards him. "Are you sure?"

He narrows his eyes at me as if to say, 'I'm a man of course I can figure this out' and I raise an eyebrow at him. "There's like a million fucking buttons. This is different than the one I used to have"

"Let me see" I say. It takes a me a few minutes to orient myself with the equipment before I figure it out. "Right here" I say pushing the button and seeing the REC in the corner. I stand in front of the camera and wave before blowing a kiss. "Alright Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up!" I say giggling. I see him stop and replay the footage and roll my eyes when I hear my voice played back. _God I sound like a member of the lollipop guild._

"Okay that was right"

"I know, I'm a nerd remember? I'm good at this stuff" I joke.

"You are not a nerd" he rolls his eyes at me. "You're smart as hell, that doesn't make you a nerd"

He turns the camera back on to record and moves towards me. I look up at him and soon I am being pulled towards our bed. "Lay down. Face down" he commands me and I oblige without hesitation. I move towards the headboard when he grabs my hand. "Foot of the bed, so we can face the camera." My heart is pounding wildly at our sexy act being recorded. I catch a glance at it before I lay face down. The cool sheets below me slightly soothe my heated body but I feel the heat from Christian above me when I feel his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them.

"You're so tense, Anastasia. What can I do to make you more relaxed?"

"Mmmm whatever you are doing is great" I moan as I feel his strong hands massaging my stiff muscles in my shoulders.

"Don't fall asleep" he orders.

"Mmmkay" I say my eyes fluttering closed. My eyes shoot open when I feel the weight of Christian laying on my back. I can tell he's supporting most of his weight but the feeling of his body on top of mine sends a feeling straight to my groin. I feel his cock resting against my leg and I wish he would drag it up a little higher so it was resting against my wet folds when I feel his lips at my ear.

"Spread your legs, Ana" I do and I feel his hand resting between them before I feel them sink inside of me. "This" he growls in my ear. "Belongs to me. My eyes only. Do not use those gorgeous blue eyes and smile of yours to try and convince me otherwise, again. Understand?"

"I-"

"No. You caught me in a moment of weakness. I was pissed and frankly uncomfortable by what had happened and just wanted to make you happy"

"You do make me happy"

He flips me over to look into my eyes. "You make me happy, Anastasia. But all of this..." he trails off as he runs his hands from my neck to my knees. "Is for my eyes only."

I reach my arms out to him indicating I need him in my arms and he shakes his head at me. I pout and go to protest when he moves my legs to go over his shoulders and I smile knowing what's coming next. He grips my ankle and I close my eyes relishing in the feeling of his lips leaving kisses along the side of my foot and a little bit up my leg. I thought he was going to attach his mouth to the place I needed most, so I am shocked when I feel him impale me. "Fuck!" I scream out as he manages to hit a spot so deep that I feel the orgasm brewing with the first thrust. "Jesus, Christian, it's so deep" I cry out as he pulls out and slams into me again. He's never fucked me at this angle and I'm beginning to wonder why the hell he hasn't as it's unreal. His thrusts begin getting faster and I can tell he's desperate to kiss me, I am as well but this angle makes it difficult.

"Does it turn you on?"

"Wh-what?" I ask _, I'm on the precipice of an orgasm and this man is trying to talk to me now?_

"The thought of people watching you like this. Seeing your body about to shake and convulse with the pleasure I'm giving you" he thrusts into me a final time and I groan feeling it so close. He pulls out and my eyes shoot open.

"What the fuck!?"

"Tell me"

"Tell you what!"

"Do you think you could have come knowing that all of those people were watching you?" He asks as he slips back inside of me and begins to rock slowly, kissing the side of my face before burying himself in my neck. "I would have died, knowing that those fuckers were seeing you come. Seeing you so overcome with pleasure that your eyes roll back... your toes curl. You are so sexy when you come. The spasms that wrack your body, you scrunch your nose just before you come, you know. God it's so fucking sexy. Sometimes you scream my name, but other times you whisper my name so quietly and you can't even say it fully. It's like you get to Chris- and then you lose your ability to speak." _I feel like I'm on the edge as the man I love explains the way I come. Who would have thought it would be so erotic hearing all of your telltale signals._ "And then you explode and you clamp down on me so fucking hard" he continues. "My cock, my fingers, my tongue..." His hands move to either side of my head for leverage as he begins to thrust harder and faster inside of me. I wrap my legs around him locking my ankles behind him. "Your hands go to my hair and you pull, _hard_. Or they go to my back and I feel your nails dragging down my back. It's the sexiest feeling"

"Christiannnn" I moan out.

"I know you're close baby, I can feel it."

"Do you... always... know?" I breathe out, shocked I can get the words out, _but this whole monologue is fucking hot and I want to keep him talking for as long as possible._

"Yes." He says with so much conviction.

"I know when you are close too" I reply back as my eyes flutter close as I feel the familiar tingle starting at the base of my spine.

"Do you?" He growls in my ear. "Anastasia"

"Yes" I moan out as my hands immediately go to his hair. _Damn he was right!_ "Fuck.. Christian... I'm.."

"Yes angel, tell me how good it feels"

"Comi-" I don't finish the word before his tongue is invading my mouth as he continues to thrust inside of me. I ride out the rest of my orgasm, using his cock solely for my pleasure as I know he hasn't come yet. I feel him still hard as a rock inside of me so I thrust upwards to get him to finish. "What about you?" I whisper.

"That was for you, angel"

"I want you to come. Let me on top"

He pulls me on top to straddle him when I feel hands immediately on my breasts. I pull him out of me before shooting him a devilish smirk as I slide the hair tie off of my wrist and pull my hair into a high pony tail so he would have a better view of my face, and particularly my mouth. He raises an eyebrow knowing what's coming as I make my way down his body to that steel rod between his legs. I bite my bottom lip before swiping my tongue across my lips and sheathing them around his cock.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"God that was hot" I say as I stuff another handful of popcorn in my mouth. Christian and I are in the movie room watching our porno in HD on a 70 inch television. His penis no lie looks 6 feet long.

"Stop hogging the popcorn" he says pulling it from me without even glancing my way. _Christian's eyes haven't left the TV in 25 minutes, since we started and I swear they've been glued to my breasts. Never mind that I'm like half naked, next to him right now. I giggle to myself and it doesn't even get his attention._

"I've never watched myself go down on anyone. Fuck that's hot. You can see how wet you are from here" He grabs himself through the blanket to adjust himself for the 100th time in a half hour and I roll my eyes.

"That's... good? Glad I could be your first?"

"And last" he says still not looking at me. "Your body is incredible, Ana" he says. "Seriously, wow"

"You act like you've never seen it before!"

"It's so different seeing it like this."

I blush hearing his praise even though I always knew he felt this way. "I'm glad you love it. I love your body too, Christian. You're a God" I chuckle.

Our little production comes to an end and Christian finally turns to look at me. "That was so hot"

I nod feeling equal parts turned on and flattered over how much Christian loved staring at me. "I agree"

"We should make that a regular thing. We can do it in different places all over the house, different themes."

"Like doctor patient?"

He laughs and nods. "We could do that"

"Professor student?"

He pulls me into his lap to straddle him. "You got a plaid skirt and glasses?" he asks.

"Who says you get to be the teacher?" I say narrowing my eyes at him.

"Fine, Miss Steele, teach away"

I bite down on my bottom lip and smile. "Take me to bed" I whisper feeling too turned on to care who gets to be the teacher.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I wake up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. After we left the movie room, Christian and I barely stopped the rest of the night. It was 4 am before we finally drifted off to sleep in each others arms. Between the sex club and the spanking on the ride home and the movie, Christian and I were so wound up we barely wanted to be apart. And when I say apart I mean him not inside of me. I get up and move down the hall in the direction of the noise I hear and figure Christian is probably in the gym. Don't know how he could possibly be working out, I got the workout of my life last night. _Sometimes I swear, Christian thinks I'm a ragdoll the way he flings me around the bed. Good thing I'm a dancer, I hate to see what he has done to women that aren't flexible_. I make it to the gym and see him doing pull ups and I roll my eyes. _I can barely do like 2 before I'm ready to fall to the ground in agony. I have the upper arm strength of a kitten, I swear_. I cock my head to the side as he finishes his reps before moving towards his pommel horse. He hasn't noticed me yet and I raise my eyebrows wondering what he's going to do. _Why haven't I watched him workout before? This is borderline better than what we watched last night! He's half naked and sweating and wet and... whoa what the heck is he doing!?_ He has his hands planted firmly on the side and slowly his feet are moving off the ground and upwards towards the ceiling. My eyes widen further as I see his legs going higher and higher and... _HOLY FUCK! The sweat is moving down his neck and chest and all I want to do is catch them with my tongue._ I see him hold the position in a perfect diagonal and I know my mouth is hanging wide open at this point. I look down at the tiny shirt I'm wearing and see my nipples pebbling through it. _Jesus, my vagina borderline hurts from last night but THIS... yeah I'm going to need him to fuck me again after seeing this._ I see him slowly lowering himself to the ground and I feel like I could faint. "Oh my God" I say and he turns to look at me. I launch myself into his arms before he can register I'm coming towards him. "That was so _hot_ "

He kisses me back with equal fervor and smiles. "Good morning, baby"

"Teach me how to do that"

"Do what?"

"Don't be shy, you... being inhuman! Your face was down here and your feet were way up here!" I say raising my right arm way above my head.

He chuckles. "It's not that exciting"

I snort. "Yeah okay. I just put on new panties before I came to look for you and they're already soaked after 4 and a half minutes"

He smirks. "Let me see" he says hoisting me up on the pommel horse to sit. "Show me"

I spread my legs slightly for him to see and surely the pink satin is slightly darker indicating the fluids moving out of me at a rapid pace. His eyes darken and soon I am sprinting down the hall to catch up with Christian's long strides and tossed onto our bed with a familiar head descending down my legs.

 **A/N: So, the vote was overwhelmingly not to have these two go to the fourth floor... BUT- Diamond Child gave me the idea to at least have them attempt it before Christian is all 'hell no fuck this'. Also, this was my attempt at writing about this damn pommel horse we all love hehe I hope you liked it ;)**

 **Sidenote: I am going to write a one-shot/outtake type thing of what would happen if they really DID go to the fourth floor. I'll post it on my FB (Q Bee OhThree), most likely tomorrow!**


	12. Enceinte ou Pas Enceinte

**APOV**

I climb into Christian's lap feeling slightly anxious over the upcoming turbulence as we fly over the Atlantic Ocean. Inside I am squealing with excitement to be going to Paris. _Really Europe for that matter! I've never been off the mainland and I can't believe I get to go to the most romantic city in the world with the love of my life. But the flying part has made me a bit queasy and now I've thrown up twice already. How sexy. All I wanted to do was make love in the air.. I think Christian wanted to as well. He's been going on about some mile high club whatever that is. But now he's rubbing my back as I lay my head on his shoulder willing the nausea away._

"Angel, drink more of this" he says handing me some ginger ale. "I'm almost tempted to give you something stronger" he says pressing a kiss to my forehead. I shake my head no at his idea. I do think the flight is making my stomach a little crazy but in the back of my mind there's a nagging little thought _. My absent period._ I've never been late before, taking the pill religiously everyday for the past two years has kept me pretty regimented. And now I was two weeks late. I look up at Christian and wonder how he would react to me being pregnant. _Lose it probably._ I groan inwardly when I think about how my parents would react. They about lost it when they found out Christian was taking me out of the United States!

 **Flashback**

"What?!" My mother exclaims and I wince at the decibel of her voice. "Absolutely not!"

"I wasn't really here to ask for your permission. Just to tell you that I might be unreachable at times." I shrug as if it's the most normal thing.

"What if something happens to you! Or.. he leaves you there or trades you for some business deal! What if you get taken!"

I roll my eyes. "Then you hire Liam Neeson to come find me" I say referencing the movie with a cheeky smirk.

"Don't you dare joke about this, Anastasia Rose this is serious!"

"Then stop being ridiculous! Christian would never let any harm come to me in Paris or anywhere for that matter. Christian would do… anything to protect me" I say knowing how far his protectiveness would go. It runs my blood cold to even think it but I know if it ever came down to it he'd trade his life for mine in a heartbeat.

"You're so naive, Ana!"

"Fine I guess I am. But naive or not I'm getting on a plane next week and going to France to eat croissants and see the Eiffel Tower." I say crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes.

"You're impossible!"

I ignore her comment. "I want to talk to dad"

"He's asleep, you know the chemo takes a lot out of him"

After we convinced my father that a second opinion was necessary, they were able to determine that my father's cancer was in fact only at stage two and that a somewhat aggressive chemotherapy was the best course of action. He'd been battling round after round with the strength and resilience he needed when he served and kicking it's ass. But of course it still left him feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

"I know he won't wake up until tomorrow. So I'll be by after school" I had also come over to get my English to French Dictionary, some of my translation books and my beret. I don't plan to use the dictionary much while I'm there… I don't want to appear too touristy but I'm going to study up on my French before. I pull on my beret that I typically wear to French club before kissing her on both cheeks. "Au revoir, maman!"

 **End Flashback**

So now I'm on a plane to Paris, wondering if I'm pregnant, how to tell the father and how to even think about telling my parents one of which thought that the potential father would be selling me into sex slavery. _Dammit_. The thought has my stomach churning again as I hop off of Christian's lap and bolt for the bathroom. I hear him behind me and within a second my head is in the toilet. "How do I still have anything to throw up!" I cry between heaves.

I feel his hand rubbing my back. I had already put my hair up after the first trip to the bathroom but he holds my ponytail back anyway. I feel his body inching closer towards me and I can't escape the sizzle that moves through me. _How can I be turned on while I'm puking?! What is this witchcraft this man weaves over me?_

"Christian just go.. leave me be" I wave my hand towards him despite the fact that my head is still submerged in the bowl.

"Of course I'm not leaving you, are you insane?"

"I'm puking, not dying. I got it" I say pulling back slightly to glare at him. "This is so not sexy. So just go I don't want you to watch me throw up anymore!"

He huffs before pointing outside the door. "I'll be right outside"

I nod my head and I'm grateful for the time alone. I think I'm done throwing up for the time being but I need a moment with my racing thoughts. _Pregnant? Me? WHAT!?_

XXXXXXXXXXX

I've finally calmed my stomach enough and after brushing my teeth twice and gargling with about a gallon of Listerine I let Christian get to second base. I wasn't sure how okay I was to handle full on intercourse but after two orgasms I felt sated and happy. I move on our bed so that I am nestled between his legs and I begin to rub him through his boxer briefs.

"No Anastasia" he tries to order me but I can hear the want in his voice.

"No what?" I say as I pull his underwear down slightly and place a kiss where the hair becomes more coarse.

"As much as I would love those lips around me, I would prefer if you didn't throw up on me" he chuckles and I groan at his comment.

"I'm fine now!" He raises an eyebrow at me and I huff. "Fine. But your dick is mine the second we get off this plane" I say poking his chest before I fall to his side. _I hope._

After a pretty expedited trip through customs, I've donned my beret as I skip excitedly out of the airport. "We're here!" I cheer. "I can't believe it, I'm in Paris!" I squeal with excitement before I'm in Christian's arms kissing him with all of the passion I couldn't give him on the plane. I pull back to look at his more than pleased expression. "I love you so much! Thank you!" I know I'm behaving like a crazy person but I've dreamt my whole life of coming here.

He smiles at my enthusiasm before setting me down. "You are most welcome." I watch as Taylor and Sawyer pack our car and soon we are off. Christian raised the privacy screen as soon as we were in the car and before it even reached the top I am in his lap, my lips moving against his with such fervor it makes me weak. "Are you feeling better?" He asks me once we pull apart his hands stroking my face.

I nod. "Yes much better." _And it was true, I did feel better._ Making me wonder how much truth there was to this "morning sickness" business.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I get off of my knees and set my elbows on the seat of the toilet as I rest my hands over my eyes. This is the third goddamn morning I've gotten sick and still no period in sight. _It was time to pull out the big guns. I need answers. And I need a pregnancy test._

I slip out of the bathroom and am pleased Christian is still sleeping. I've been able to hide my throwing up the past two days due to Christian's slight jet lag and my 5 am wake up calls. I rub my face before moving through the suite towards the security wing. I knock on Taylor's door and before I have to knock again, he's answering it.

"Do you sleep?" I ask my eyes widening.

"Sawyer and I do so in shifts, what can I help you with Ana?"

I smile knowing that he feels comfortable enough finally to call me Ana. "I need to go to the store"

"Stomach still acting up?"

I nod. "Yes. So can we go?"

"I already went and cleared it out for you. I've got Pepto, Tums, even some harder stuff. I'm sorry you're so sick, Ana" he says sadly.

"I.. it's fine, I just-" _Fuck! He's got every remedy for every stomach ailment in his suite. How am I going to get out of this?_

"Baby?" I hear behind me and I feel hands on my shoulders. "Why are you up so early?"

"I… I got sick again and was hoping Taylor could take me to the store"

"Taylor has everything" he says turning me to look at him. "God you're pale too" he touches my forehead. "And you're sweating" _Because I'm nervous as fuck! Stop touching me, Grey!_

"I- I'm fine" I say swatting away his hand. "I just… maybe some NyQuil?" I say praying that Taylor doesn't have that

"NyQuil?" He asks. "That's not going to help your stomach.. and it will knock you out cold. I thought you wanted to see Notre Dame today?" Christian asks.

"I- do? But I- umm.." I bite my bottom lip and sigh. "I don't think he has what I need. It's fine, I'll be ten minutes I'll just run out and-" I say moving away from their prying eyes when I feel a hand around my arm.

"Absolutely not. You think I'm just going to let you traipse around France by yourself?" Christian says.

"No.. Taylor would be with me?"

"What could you possibly need that Taylor doesn't have from his suite pharmacy?!" He says and I find myself suppressing a giggle at his attempt at humor at 5 in the morning.

I look at Taylor and give him a small smile. "Thank you, I think I'm good for now." I grab Christian's hand and pull him through our suite and back to our bedroom and snap my fingers as I point at our bed. I begin to pace wondering how I'm going to possibly change this man's life with a few words.

"Angel what is it? Is it more than just your stomach?" He says his eyes studying me carefully.

"Yes" I say quietly.

He stands up and moves toward me as I take a step back. I put an arm up and shake my head. "I- I need to get this out"

"You're scaring me, what's wrong Ana? Do you need to go to a hospital?"

 _Yeah maybe in nine months. Just tell him, Ana._ "I- I don't know if it's just the plane or the jet lag making me sick. I think- I think I'm having morning sickness"

"Morning sickness? Ana that's only when you're-" his eyes widen as he looks away from me slightly and I think he's trying to do some math in his head to calculate how late I am. He drops to the bed and looks up at me."You're… you're" he points to my stomach. "We… I…"

I decide to stop him now and I move towards him. I kneel in front of him and place both hands on his chest. "I don't know. I haven't taken a test yet. But I'm late"

He lets out a breath. "I need to sit"

"You are sitting." I say.

"Then I- I need to stand" he stands up and begins to pace the floor. "Your parents will kill me! Like actually murder me" _Okay that's his first thought? Could be worse._ "And you're eighteen! Oh my God. How could I have let this happen? You're so young and… you want to be a ballerina and... fuck! What about college?"

"Christian deep breaths.. I don't know for sure"

"Let's go" he says grabbing my hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

I don't think I've even completely processed the words she's said before I'm running through our suite pulling Ana behind me. "TAYLOR!" I yell.

"Jesus Christian wake up the whole hotel why don't you?" Ana says and I resist the urge to glare at her for her smart mouth. _She's probably as scared as I am._

Taylor appears before us and I know he is confused at what has me so visibly shaken. "We need to make a trip to the store. Now. Sawyer can stay."

"Sir.. now?"

"Yes? They have 24 hour places here don't they?"

"I believe there is one a few miles from here"

"Let's go"

"Baby you're panicked" Ana says from next to me as she squeezes my hand slightly.

"YA THINK?!" I say and I sigh. "I'm sorry, angel. I'm just…" I run a hand through my hair and pull her into a hug. _I want her to know I am in this with her. She probably took my reaction as not wanting a baby. Or not wanting one with her. Or… Christian you're spiraling. "_ We will deal with this together"

" _Deal_ with it?" She winces and I wonder if those were the right choice of words.

"Let's just- get a test. Like twenty of them"

We are in the car maneuvering through the Parisian streets. I feel my leg bouncing up and down when I feel a hand around it and squeezing. "You're making me nervous"

"I'm making YOU nervous?!" I exclaim. _I could be less than an hour away from becoming a father and I'm making her nervous?!_ I know she's just as nervous so I keep that to myself. I stop bouncing my knee and run my hand through my hair for the hundredth time since we got in the car. "You're not pregnant" I say. "I mean… you're probably just a little late? You've been stressed about your father and then school and college next year and… that can delay it right?" I pull out my phone and begin googling reasons a woman's cycle is delayed. "You work out… you've been working out more so than usual? Have you changed your diet?" I scroll through more and I become more horrified as I go. "Okay all of these are more serious I hope it's none of these" She bites her bottom lip as she studies me and just that quick I want to pounce on her despite the circumstances. I lean in to kiss her when I hear Taylor clearing his throats indicating we've arrived at the mini mart. I pull Ana out of the car and we bolt through the door.

"Bonjour mademoiselle, monsieur!" The man behind the counter says and I wonder if he will go on but I interrupt him. I point at Ana's stomach and I can't even get the words out. "BABY!" I yell finally and Ana shakes her head pushing my hand out of the way.

"Bonjour monsieur, ou est teste du grosesse?" She says in a perfect accent that makes my cock twitch. She's really been killing me with her French speaking. _I swear she does this shit on purpose._

He points across the mart. "Ligne quatre"

"Merci beaucoup" Ana says before pulling me to aisle four. We are running through the aisle when something catches my eye.

"You know I've never tried these Yours and Mine warming gels" I say holding up the package of K-Y Jelly lubricants. "I hear good things though, do you think it-"

"CAN YOU FOCUS!?" I hear her shriek as she's stacking the tests up and holding them under her chin.

"Right right." I say moving towards her. "But we are getting this too"

"FINE!" She yells. "You want to talk about doing what got us into this situation in the first place!?"

"What are we never going to have sex again?" I say looking at her. "That's cute"

She huffs and storms past me towards the counter and I do a onceover to make sure there wasn't anything else I might be interested in trying. I was never big on lubricants but this says something about "out of this world sensations." _We will see about that._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

We are back in our bedroom with a few bags filled of pregnancy tests. _Who knew there were so many different kinds of tests?_

I hand her one and pull her into the bathroom. "At least we both understand French" I say.

"Give me that." She says taking it from me. "Even if we didn't these are all pretty universal. Match up the lines. Or _Enceinte_ versus _Pas Enceinte."_

"God you're sexy when you speak French." I say as I back her against the wall. "I almost lost it in the store." I plant my lips to hers and I hope she's understanding everything I'm trying to convey to her. _I'm scared shitless but we are in this together. I will take care of you, always._ I pull away from her and I can see the stars in her eyes. I kiss her forehead before I open the test for her and lean against the wall.

She furrows her brow at me and shakes her head. "Absolutely not, Christian. Out"

"What? Ana don't be ridiculous just go"

"No! I'm not peeing with you in here."

"But I want to be here" I say. _And I do. I don't want her to go through this by herself. I know she's scared and frankly I am too. I need her just as much as she needs me. Probably more._

"Just let me pee and you can come back in after, okay?"

"Fine"

I move to the other side of the door as my mind starts to race. _Okay, this is it. Would I be a good father? What if he or she doesn't like me? What if I hurt them? Shit can they touch my chest? Of course they can they're a part of me. Ana is only eighteen and if she wanted to be a ballerina it throws a wrench in that plan for now. And what about college? I don't want this to keep her from her dreams. She'll resent me. How could I have been so irresponsible? We fuck like rabbits and we don't use condoms and fuck fuck fuck!_ I feel like I'm standing outside of the bathroom for what feels like forever when she comes into view interrupting my thoughts.

 **APOV**

I walk outside to see Christian pulling at his hair and my heart slightly sinks. I reach for him and move into his arms squeezing him tight. "I'm scared too Christian"

He kisses the top of my head and I feel a hand under my chin lifting my gaze upward. "You know if you are pregnant that I will take care of you and our baby.. don't you?" That was a thought that crossed my mind albeit briefly. _Would he leave me? Tell me it was my problem or worse to get rid of it?_ I bite my lip as I will the tears away and he pulls me into his lap. "Is your silence supposed to tell me that you don't know that?" He asks cupping my cheeks.

"I- I know a baby isn't really in your plans" _Maybe ever. But surely not now._

" _You're_ in my plans. You're the center of all my plans for the future"

My heart begins to beat wildly at the intensity of his statement. "That's nice to hear" I say softly unable to come up with anything else to say.

"It's been a few minutes. Should we check?" He asks and I nod. I get up and move to the bathroom grabbing the two tests I took. I know he's right behind me and my hands begin to shake when I see the results staring me right in the face. "Enceinte" and two pink lines indicating "pregnant." I spin around and look at Christian and before I know it I'm crying and in his arms.

"I'm.. I'm…" I say through hiccups and he nods against me as he looks at the tests I had dropped to the floor. "Oh my God I'm only eighteen!" I'm still in high school!" I begin to cry even harder as Christian moves us to the floor of the bathroom. "I think I'm having a panic attack" I say as I grip Christian's shirt.

"Hey, look at me" he says grabbing my face. "Deep breaths Ana" he says and I begin to follow his instruction and soon the tightness in my chest begins to subside.

"Do you hate me?" I ask after a few minutes. I can barely see him through my tears but I can feel his body language and I know it better than my own.

"No, angel. Never." He pulls me to his chest and this simple act spurs me to cry even harder. I sob into his chest as I wrap my arms around his neck bringing me closer to him. _Maybe if I climb inside of him, I'll feel safe. And everything will be okay._ I feel like I've been crying for ages when I pull myself out of his lap and off of the floor.

"I'm- I'm sorry I had that reaction. It's not about you. I'm just… this is a lot to take in."

"I didn't think it was.. I'm just as anxious about all of this as you are" he says following me out of the bathroom and sitting on the bed. "You're in high school" he rubs his head. "I got a high school girl pregnant… the media is going to have a field day" he groans.

"They already know about me somewhat I thought?" I'm not sure how much the media knows about Christian Grey's "love affair" with the "petite brunette." _They've spotted me coming and going a few times from GEH but when I leave Escala it's typically through the garage and I'm in a car with tinted windows. Other than that we've been very lowkey. The plan was for me to graduate before we really went public. I wonder how explosive this will be now._

"Very little. I've kept you out of the limelight as much as possible." He sighs before he stands and begins to pace back and forth again. _He's acting like a caged animal with all of this pacing_. "We will need to get married before I planned"

"A shotgun wedding" I roll my eyes. "How romantic" I say sarcastically.

"It's not a shotgun wedding if I've already bought the ring. Isn't that when a couple only gets married _because_ she's pregnant?"

My eyes widen at his slip of the tongue and I stand in front of him, effectively stopping him from pacing. "You… you've already bought a ring?"

"WHO SAID THAT!?" He yells, his eyes wide with confusion.

 _Christian Grey has officially snapped._ "Uh.. you just did?"

"I don't know what I'm saying. I'm losing it" he says pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I see that"

He ignores my comment. "They're still making it. I'm waiting on a diamond from overseas" My eyes shoot to my hairline as I think about what glacier this man is trying to put on my finger.

"I- I don't want you to think you have to marry me now just because…" _Say the words, Ana. You have to get used to saying the words._ "We're going to have a baby"

He looks at me, his eyes wide with what looks like horror before he shakes his head. "I am so sorry I did this to you" He drops to the bed as his head falls into his hands defeatedly.

I immediately move to him and position myself in his lap pulling his head out of his hands to look at me. "You didn't do anything to me, Christian." I say softly. "But love me… so much. I know this wasn't in our plans but everything will be fine." I feel a single tear move down my face and I brush it away.

"You were sobbing like fifteen minutes ago" he says sadly. "I don't blame you. What kind of father would I be?"

"A wonderful father. You have so much love to give, Christian. Our baby will be so lucky to have you. I was just overwhelmed… I mean I am young, Christian. I guess call it hormones." I chuckle. "I knew I wanted a baby with you someday. It's just coming a little sooner than I wanted. Frankly, I didn't think you would want one at all"

"I want to give you everything you want. And if that meant a baby, I was giving you one"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We spent the rest of our vacation in Paris sightseeing, making love on every surface of our hotel room and eating every carbohydrate we could get our hands on. It wasn't until the last night when we realized that we were leaving our little bubble that we needed to have some sort of a game plan in place for when we got home.

"So Andrea booked us an appointment with an OB named Dr. Greene" he tells me as he washes the shampoo from my hair. He had successfully washed my hair as we sat in this enormous bathtub. I nod my head. "She said she's the best." I nod again.

"When?"

"Umm next Thursday, I believe." He says. "I'll have to check the calendar"

"Like when I'm in school?" I say turning around and raising an eyebrow.

"We'll get you a doctor's note"

"From a baby doctor? That will go over well" I sigh.

"They're going to find out eventually"

"Ummm no? It's April, I graduate in May. I'm not telling anyone anything. I don't need that kind of drama"

"Are you going to tell your parents at least?"

"Well… yeah. I guess. God this is so not going to go over well" I say rubbing my forehead.

"I imagine my parents won't be thrilled either"

"Your parents will probably think I did it on purpose to trap you" I say turning around to face him. He pulls me into his lap and shakes his head.

"Little do they know I was just coming inside of you all of those times on purpose just hoping that a baby will tie you to me forever" he jokes as he presses a kiss to my neck. "The timing isn't ideal, angel, I know. But things happen. That's life, right? You just have to go with it. I've been doing that since I saw this gorgeous brunette trying to get into a BDSM club. And it hasn't steered me wrong yet." He chuckles. "In hindsight maybe I should have left you alone"

"I'm glad you didn't" I say as I feel a tingle move through me and I know what I need right now. I line my folds up with his erect penis and I slide down on him slowly. He lets his head tip back. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happen if you weren't there. Would you have found me?"

"I would have searched the world for you, Anastasia" he groans as he sits up circling an arm around my back to give him some leverage to thrust into me.

"You didn't even know you wanted… well me. Not till you saw me. You didn't know what you were missing till we met. How were you going to go searching?"

He narrows his eyes at me and thrusts again. "Stop talking, I'm trying to fuck you"

I roll my eyes as his mouth finds my nipple and I feel his teeth biting down. I let out a guttural moan. "Again" He bites down again and I pull his mouth away from my breast allowing my mouth to claim it. I begin to move myself up and down, in and out, the water sloshing out of both sides of the tub. I feel my orgasm approaching and I press my hands to his chest, dragging my nails down it. I throw my head back as I feel it starting to spread when I hear his voice.

"Look at me, baby." My eyes find his as we move together in perfect harmony, like always. "I know you're there, angel. Take me with you. Eyes on me." I feel his hands on my ass and I resist the urge to shut my eyes as the first wave of my orgasm takes over. But feeling his eyes on me, watching me, filling me, wanting me- it makes the orgasm ten times more intense. I feel the moment he explodes inside of me which is a beat behind mine. His eyes never leave my face as I feel him pump his final load inside of me. We stop moving, the only noise heard is the stilling of the water in the tub. We stare at each other, our eyes doing all of the talking when Christian breaks the silence. "You mean the world to me, Anastasia. And maybe it's because we are in Paris and it's just you and me here and reality hasn't hit us yet but… if you're excited about having a baby, then I'm excited"

I smile. _Neither one of us are thrilled about the timing, but Christian and I made a baby. A human! And we are going to be parents and get married and live happily ever after! Maybe it's earlier than I expected and not the order but this is what I wanted. This has been a dream of mine for the last month or so… so what that I pictured myself being twenty-four or so and I'm eighteen. So I get my happily ever after a bit sooner than I thought. It will be challenging, but we will make it work._ "I'm excited" I touch my stomach and I feel his hands over mine and I am shocked to see his eyes watery.

"I'm going to be a father?"

I nod my head. "Yes, Christian. You're going to be a father"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **CPOV**

I don't think I've ever been as scared as I am right now as I sit at Ray and Carla Steele's dining room table to tell them that I have gotten their daughter pregnant. _I got all the way through high school without knocking anyone up and yet I STILL have to have this conversation?_

"So how was Paris?" Carla asks her eyes darting back and forth between us. "You're glowing, Ana. Did you have fun?"

"I did…" she starts. "It was very informative"

"Really? You go to some good museums? Got some culture? Why Ana I'm impressed. I figured you were going just to take selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower and eat your weight in croissants."

"Well I did that too… but yes I did actually learn some things while I was there"

"How fabulous!" Carla says. "I'm glad you had fun"

"Mom…" she says her voice shaking. "Dad…"

"Yes?" Carla says looking at Ana. "Oh my God… tell me you didn't do anything crazy like get married did you?"

Ray's eyes widen. "Without so much as our permission? Grey, you better hope you didn't whisk my daughter off to another country to marry her"

"We aren't married" Ana says softly and I can hear the sadness in her voice.

"Thank God, you're far too young for marriage. You're not ready and it would turn your life upside down. You don't need that kind of chaos. You're young and your life is just starting." Carla says.

"And Christian and I getting married would cause chaos? My life started the moment he walked into my life and I don't plan on ever letting him go. I know you think this is silly young love or just a phase, but Christian isn't going anywhere and I need you both to get on board with that. I've already walked out of this house, I don't want to walk out of your lives too."

"You don't mean that, Ana" Ray says and I see Ana soften talking to her sickly father.

"I don't want that dad, but you've got to cut me some slack. Cut _us_ some slack"

"You wouldn't just cut us out of your life." Carla interjects.

"If you're going to bring unnecessary stress and tension to our lives, then yes." She swallows. "That's… that's what you do when you have a family. You do what's best for them. And yes you're my family and I love you but…" I feel her hand wrapping around mine and she squeezes, I think hoping it gives her the strength to continue. "But I'm starting my own family now and… if you can't accept the father of my child then this isn't going to work"

I feel two sets of eyes boring into me and I don't know if I should speak up or let Ana continue. There's a silence in the room that is equal parts deafening and stifling. "Mom.. dad… say something"

"You're… pregnant?" Carla says finally the tears brimming under her eyes.

I feel Ana's body language change and I look over to see the tears in her eyes as well. She looks to me for help and I clear my throat. "Neither of us planned this but-"

"Get out" I hear and I look to see Ray shaking out of anger. "You… defiled my baby… probably before she was even eighteen! How dare you walk into this house after you've caused such an irreparable rift in my family and tell me it 'wasn't planned'. You preyed on an innocent young girl! You planned this shit all along!"

"Dad!" Ana yells but I can hear the tears in her voice. She's about to lose it and I really need to calm her down before she says something she will regret. Carla was one thing, but Ray was another. He had been somewhat the moderator between them so seeing him this angry is different, though completely understandable.

"Ana" I say softly getting her attention away from them. "It's okay"

"It's not okay! He can't say that, it's not true. Tell him it's not true!" She cries and I feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. _I wonder if she needs to hear me say it as well or if it's solely for her father's benefit._

"Sir, I know you're angry. Believe me I know you're angry. But I really didn't plan it… I just.. I fell in love with your daughter and I got careless… _we_ got careless."

"That's your reasoning? You fell in love and forgot how to use a goddamn condom? Please!" Ray shouts. "I can't even listen to this." He says standing. "And now I need to lie down. So thank you for stressing me the hell out. Both of you!" He shouts before he moves towards the stairs

I look at Carla who hasn't said anything in the past few minutes who is staring at Ana the tears streaming down her face. I don't know if she's listened to anything that's been said over the past few minutes when she stands up and moves to our side of the table. I don't know what she's going to do but I'm on the defense immediately. Ana has never expressed anything about abuse in her household but I wouldn't put it past Carla to smack Ana right now. I am shocked when I see her arms open and pulling Ana into her arms. I can't understand much between their sobs but I do hear a "my baby" uttered a few times. I see her kiss her forehead before pulling her back to look at her. "No wonder you are glowing" she says wiping her tears. "Oh my God, have you been to the doctor?"

"Yes" Ana nods.

"How far along are you?"

"About six weeks"

"Oh my God, Ana!" She pulls her into her arms again. "There's going to be a baby" she says through her tears. "A baby!"

"You're… you're happy?" Ana says as she wipes her tears away as well.

"I mean I'm not thrilled with the timing but… my baby is having a baby. You are bringing life into this world. That is… beautiful. And I know I haven't been supportive… but… I would really like to be a part of the baby's life."

"I would never deny you that." Ana says before she shoots me a look and I nod. "You just… have to start respecting my relationship with the father" she says and I smile. _I'm going to be the father to Ana's baby. She's going to get round with my child and the thought just makes me want to shout it from the rooftops. If there was ever a sign that said Property of Christian Grey, it was that. Fuck. Now I'm hard. Calm down, boy, not with her mom around._

She looks at me and then back at Ana. "I know. I just thought you'd hurt my baby.. I'm not sure that I am completely convinced but you're here with her and you're saying all the right things…"

"I'm not just telling you what you want to hear, Mrs. Steele. I want to be with Ana forever. And soon, I'll be having another conversation with you and Mr. Steele… but I didn't want you to think I was asking you just because she's pregnant. I know this all sounds crazy but I love her more than anything and I'm just asking for a little bit of faith. I know it's asking a lot but please… trust me with your daughter."

Carla's eyes widen and shoot to Ana's ring finger and Ana shakes her head. "No we aren't engaged."

"I haven't asked your permission for much else, but I do want to ask you for that" I say.

Carla puts a hand to her chest before looking between us. "This is the real thing for you, isn't it Ana?"

"I tried to tell you it was real" Ana whispers.

I stand and look between Ana and her mother. "I'm going to give you ladies some privacy."

Carla looks me over a few times before she nods at me and I wonder if maybe, just maybe I've made a tiny crack in Carla Steele's tough exterior.

 **A/N: hey hey hey, baby Grey is on the waaayyy :)**


	13. The Truth Always Comes Out

APOV

I'm pulled out of sleep as I feel something prickly moving across my stomach. I rub a hand over my eye trying to pull myself out of the final moments of sleep when I hear the smack of a kiss letting me know what the prickly feeling is. I rub my hand over his head as I hear him start talking. "I can't believe we made a baby" he starts and just those words make my insides clench. _I made a baby with Christian Grey. Holy shit. Oh my God. I'm going to be the mother of his baby._ I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel his mouth move up my stomach between my uncovered breasts and to my mouth. His mouth moves slowly against mine for several minutes before he pulls away, his grey eyes piercing into mine. "Good morning, angel"

"Hi" I say as I feel his hands rubbing my stomach back and forth. "What are you doing down there?"

"There's a baby in there" he says looking down between us.

"So I hear" I joke. My giggles are halted when his mouth is on my neck once again.

"I didn't expect it to turn me on this much. You carrying my child. But it does. It shows the world that you belong to me" he growls as he runs his tongue behind my ear from the bottom of my neck causing me to moan out a breathy version of his name.

 _It's been a month since we left Paris where I learned that I would be a mother. The only people that know are my parents and Kate as I've been nervous about telling his parents. He would probably shout it from the rooftops if I let him. I never would have thought he would take this situation as well as he has been. He's been the calmer one between the two of us I even made Kate swear she wouldn't tell Elliott. But that's changing this weekend as we are going to Bellevue for dinner where we plan to tell his family. I've only met Christian's mother at this point and I can only imagine how she will take the news that the "barely legal, flighty girl" is pregnant. His mother didn't seem thrilled at the idea of him dating me, what would she think now that I'm pregnant with his baby? And marrying him? What would his father say? I know he's a lawyer and something tells me he's going to have quite the lawyer response._ I'm pulled from my thoughts when I feel his hands framing my face. "What is it?"

I'm stunned by his words. _Am I really that transparent? Or does he just know me that well?_ "I'm just thinking about how your parents are going to take the news."

"Angel don't worry about that. It's going to be fine" he says as he moves to his back and pulls me to cuddle against him.

"They're going to think I'm trying to trap you" I say sitting up and effectively moving out of his arms. "What are the headlines going to say? 'Baby Brunette Bags Billionaire Bachelor'?" I say rubbing my forehead as I will the thoughts that I'm _just another golddigger_ from my head.

"That's a lot of B's" he jokes and I glare at him. "Angel" he says sitting up and looking at me. "The statement will clear up any confusion"

"It won't stop people from thinking I'm a golddigger. Or that I'm too young for you.. or both"

"Do you care what other people think?"

"Don't you?" I say back.

"I care what you think." He says rubbing my cheek.

"You care what your parents think" I say crossing my hands. "And if your mother was any inclination, they're not going to be pleased that you will be be bound to me forever"

"Forever, huh?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "I like the sound of that" _I don't understand how he can be so calm. His life is getting ready to be turned upside down too. His carefully crafted and constructed life is about to be bulldozed over by the media once they get wind of me and the fact that I'm pregnant and he's just so… happy?_ "Ana" he says interrupting my thoughts. "I'm not that naive that I think this won't considerably change my life but… I want this life.. with you" he says tucking a hair behind my ear and pulling me into his lap. "You're my life now. You and this little one" he says putting a hand over my stomach lightly. He moves his hand up my body and cups my cheek lightly. "I will do anything to protect you both from all of the bullshit. Remember we aren't going to announce your pregnancy right away. Right after you graduate we'll announce that we are together and that it's serious. In a few months, we will give a statement _together_ that we are pregnant and ecstatic and by then you'll have a ring on your finger." He says going over the plan that we've discussed a million times. We haven't gone to his PR team but I know that's going to be a shitshow too. He rubs his lips against mine slowly before he pulls away. "Do you know how much I love you?"

I shake my head back and forth because it's the truth. I don't think I can even grasp the level of feelings this man has for me. I think it's deeper than even he realizes. _His level of devotion and adoration is something I've never witnessed. My parents are happy and in love but I've never seen this passion and love and commitment. Maybe in novels or movies but not in real life._ "No… I.. maybe?" I say looking away from the look he's giving me that is setting my skin on fire.

"Everything is going to be fine, Anastasia. But I need you to trust me. It's going to be… difficult. But I'm never leaving your side, Ana. Do you get that? Whatever my parents or your parents or the press say.. it doesn't matter. It's just you and me"

I swallow hearing his thoughts out loud and I nod. _It's as if he knows what I'm thinking. What if the press crucifies him… or me? Could he handle it? Could I handle it? Could we handle it? What if his parents don't support us? What if my father never comes around? There are so many "what ifs" bouncing around my head and I want to be optimistic but I have a feeling that we are running full speed down a dark path._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are standing outside of his parents house that weekend and I can't seem to stop fidgeting. My hands haven't left my hair since we got in the car, and I've rediscovered the nasty habit of nail biting. I smooth a hand over my sleek strands that are secured into a ponytail for the millionth time when Christian grabs the hand bringing it to his lips. "You look beautiful" he says so sincerely I almost lunge for him right here on his parents front porch.

I shoot him a smile and lean into him offering him my lips when he leans in to take my offer. His hands grasp my face as he aggressively kisses me. I think we are both trying to pour what we are feeling into the kiss. " _I'm scared." "It'll all be okay." "What if they hate me?" "They won't angel."_ Our kiss is interrupted by a throat being cleared and I immediately pull away to see a girl only a bit older than me standing in the doorway pink tinting her cheeks.

"Hello Mr. Grey" she smiles with a twinkle I've seen in women's eyes many times when they look at my man. _Mine_.

"Hi Gretchen" he says as he walks through the doorway, guiding me his hand placed at the small of my back. He doesn't pay her another look as he runs his knuckles down my face. "Don't be nervous" he whispers before placing another kiss on my lips. Gretchen is still standing in the foyer with us, her mouth wide open.

"Can… I take your jacket?" She asks me and I shrug out of it handing it to her leaving me in a light black strapless midi sundress that comes to about mid calf. We walk through the house and I can't stop the thoughts running through my mind. We reach the kitchen and see a young girl that I assume is Mia and Christian's mother.

"Oh my God she exists!" The girl says hopping off her chair.

"Mia relax" Christian says sternly as Mia engulfs me in a tight hug.

"I'm Ana…" I say, feeling slightly less nervous due to Mia's welcoming introduction.

"I know. Oh my God… you are gorgeous" she says hugging me again. "I'm just so happy to see Christian with someone. Elliott says you make him so happy and-"

"Mia, enough" Grace says as she walks around the counter towards me and pulls me into a somewhat stiffer hug. "It's lovely to see you again, dear"

"You as well, Dr. Grey" I whisper hoping that maybe she'll give me some sign that she's warming up to me. "Your home is beautiful"

"Thank you" she says before leaving the room without another word.

"Don't worry about her, she will come around" Mia says observing her mother's cool disposition.

I bite my bottom lip and Christian notices it immediately. "Mia leave us" he says. She huffs once before she leaves the kitchen and he brings me into his arms.

"We are not off to the best start" I say before breathing in his scent which instantly calms me. _He smells so good._

"It's going to be alright, Ana. My parents aren't that cold that they won't be excited to be grandparents" he chuckles.

"Kinda like my mom?" I say with wide eyes. _I'm still shocked by Carla Steele. She's called me almost everyday since she found out that I was pregnant. Making sure I am eating well, getting enough sleep, taking my vitamins. She's bought me a number of What to Expect When You're Expecting Books and has been on the lookout for the top of the line best crib on the market… much to Christian's excitement. I swear those two have been scheming to do whatever they have to do to make sure that I'm safe and happy and healthy. Who would have thought? Ray Steele on the other hand is a completely different story._

"Christian!" I hear a deep voice from the door and I see an older, distinguished gentleman moving through the room.

"Dad" he nods once before pulling me back into his arms. "This is Anastasia Steele. Baby this is my father, Carrick Grey"

"I've heard quite a lot about you, young lady" he says sticking out his hand.

I shake his hand giving him the firmest handshake I can give. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Grey"

"Please! It's Carrick." He looks me over slowly before turning to Christian. "She doesn't look that young. Your mother is overreacting. I was expecting a girl still in high school. You're eighteen correct?"

"Yes, sir" _Leave out the fact that you are in fact still in high school._

"Well… let's move into the dining room and join everyone, dinner's almost ready"

I can feel my heart beating wildly as we move into the dining room to find Mia and Grace already seated. I was hoping Elliott would be here so I'd have at least one person supporting Christian and I. _I mean Elliott will, right?_

"Where's El?" Christian asks, as if he's reading my thoughts.

"Running late of course, but he said we should start without him."

We sit in relative silence while we eat dinner. Christian's hand hasn't strayed far from my thigh throughout the whole dinner. I know he can feel my nerves and I love him for trying to calm them as best as he can. He sits his fork down and looks back and forth between the opposite ends of the table at his parents. I wonder what he's going to say before Grace breaks the silence first.

"So Anastasia do you have a job?" _And just the way she asks is so accusatory as if she's wondering if Christian is my sole source of income._

I bite my bottom lip before looking at his mother. "Yes, I'm a ballet instructor." _Not a lie. Just part time when I'm not in high school._

"I see. You are awfully young. Are you in school?"

"Mom.." Christian warns her.

"What I'm just curious about the _girl_ that has my _adult_ son so smitten"

"She's eighteen. And I'm twenty-three, you act like I'm old enough to be her father! Why are you treating her like this? It needs to stop." Christian says as he shoots his mother a look.

"Because you are in two completely different stages in life! You're a successful businessman and she's in high school for crying out loud! It's not just about the age… but where you are in your lives. She's preparing to go to college and you want to take over the world! She's a child. She lives with her parents and-"

"Not anymore" he interjects and I wait for this bomb he's about to drop. "And we might be in different stages but our paths crossed somehow and now she's in my life. She _is_ my life"

"Oh please! Can you not see this for what it is? Are you really that naive?" Grace exclaims causing me to sink further in my seat. _I really wish I could be anywhere but here right now. Does she have to say these things right in front of me?_

"Grace, enough" Carrick says sternly. "Let the kids have their fun, don't be so serious." He says taking a large swig of his drink.

Christian's eyes darken and he looks at me before turning back to his father. "We are far past having fun"

"What does that mean? And wait what did you mean by 'not anymore'?"

"Ana is living with me, permanently" Christian says.

"Wait, excuse me?" Grace asks and I can see the wheels in her head start to turn. "What and your parents are just okay with that? Well… now things are making sense"

"ENOUGH" Christian yells across the table towards his mother. He closes his eyes for a brief moment and I wonder if he's counting to ten. I reach for his hand giving it a gentle squeeze when he looks my way giving me a look that I understand. _Maybe this is going to be more difficult than I thought._ "Mom.. dad… I am very in love with this woman here" he says pulling his hand to his mouth, "and she's not going anywhere. She's a part of my life and I very much want you to be in our lives but she comes first now."

"Oh God you've either gotten her pregnant or married her" Grace says.

"Without a prenuptial agreement? Dear God I hope not" Carrick groans from the other end of the table.

I'm trying hard to keep the tears at bay but I can't and I feel a loan tear trickle down my face. _How could we have been so stupid? I'm going to ruin this family with my stupid actions. Christian is going to take my side and it's going to cause a rift in his family just as it has with mine. We didn't have any regard for anyone else when we jumped down this rabbit hole together and now we… well everyone is paying the price. Everyone is affected._

"Angel don't cry" I hear and when I look up I see his eyes staring into mine. "It's okay" he whispers.

"Probably because we can see right through her scheming" I hear his mother murmur under his breath.

"Okay you know what" Christian says standing up. "I thought we could come here tonight and you would at least be civil. Ana didn't come looking for me, Ana didn't even know who I was when we met-"

"Oh come now you believe that? Everyone knows who you are son" Grace interrupts.

"Well to your point, what reason would a girl in high school have to know about me?" I blush bright red when he calls on my naivety and lack of knowledge about the business world. _It's not like I don't keep up with current events, Grey. I know some things!_ "Ana and I met by chance. And when I saw her…" he looks at me. "I had to have her. I had to know her. Do you think I went looking to fall in love with someone in high school? Do you think I was just hanging out outside of the school waiting? I know how this looks, how the press might take it. But she's eighteen. In two years this isn't going to matter"

"In two years, she'll be a distant memory" Grace says waving her hand. "And it's not as if this is good for her either, honey. She's going to go to college and want to have fun and be young, she doesn't want to be tied down going to balls and galas and work functions with you! This… just isn't a good fit, darling"

"It's the perfect fit" he says. "For the love of God, she lives with me!"

"Who wouldn't want to live with a billionaire?"

"I don't want his money" I perk up, having had enough of essentially being called a golddigger. _Better get used to it, Steele._

"Of course you don't" Carrick interjects with an eye roll.

"I'm serious." I say looking between his parents. "If it would make you feel better for me to sign something saying I don't want anything from him, I will."

"Anastasia" Christian says looking at me. His eyebrows draw together as he studies me and I wonder what he's thinking. "You don't need to prove to anyone that you don't want anything from me. I know there's only one thing you want from me. And for the record" he says looking at his parents and then back to me. "You can have whatever you want. I will give you everything. What's mine is yours."

I give him a small smile and rest my hand on his cheek ignoring the fact that there are three pairs of eyes on us. "I love you" I say loud enough for everyone at the table to hear.

"I love you" he says to me before looking down at my stomach. "Both of you" causing a gasp around the table.

"I KNEW IT!" Mia cheers as she claps her hands.

Christian smiles at me before turning to his parents. "Yes. Ana is pregnant. We are having a baby. I-" he's interrupted by Elliott moving through the room.

"Hey sorry, I'm late, what'd I miss?" He says looking around the table at us before letting his eyes fall on me. He gives me a reassuring smile knowing that I'm feeling somewhat nervous before sitting next to Mia. "Why is everyone so quiet?"

"Ana is pregnant!" Mia exclaims and I chance a look at Grace who is sitting closer to me. All the color has left her face and she looks positively pale. I look at Carrick and he's staring at us both with wide eyes and then I look at Elliott whose expression is unreadable.

"No shit?" Elliott says. "Weren't you using condoms?" He asks looking at his brother and Christian shoots him a glare. "Right not the time. Well… congratulations!"

"Congratulations are most certainly not in order. Christian you don't have to do this. How far along is she? How far along are you?" She turns her attention to me and I'm rendered speechless at her line of questioning.

Christian steps in shutting it down before she could escalate further. "I suggest you NOT go there again"

"Christian… you're so young! She's so young! You both have your whole lives ahead of you! A simple procedure can make this all go away or maybe even a pill..." She looks at me. "Honey, it's not that painful this early."

Christian is on his feet in an instant. "DO NOT speak to her. Ever again. How dare you? I am… happy for the first time in twenty three years, I feel like I have a purpose. A reason for living! You may have saved my life Grace and I'll never forget that but Ana made my life have meaning… have purpose. She loves me- she…"

"Of course she loves you! You're a billionaire… and now that you've gotten her pregnant you're bound to her forever! God are you even sure it's yours?"

"That's the only reason someone could love me?" He argues back. "Because I'm rich? See… that's exactly what every person in my life is like. Ana wants me for me. Not what I can give to her. And YES it's fucking mine. Stop insulting, the woman I love. I mean it, mother"

"She and this baby will ruin your life! Why can't you see this? You're so smart! How are you not able to see the writing on the wall!?"

"Ruin my life!? Ruin my life? You think _ANA_ is capable of ruining my life?"

"Christian-" I say. I know where his mind is going and I shoot a look at Elliott knowing that he's about to say something he regrets. He sees the look in my eyes knowing that I know everything and he stands up.

"C- let's go talk" Elliott says.

"No fuck talking." He barks back.

"Christian Trevelyan, don't swear like that in front of your mother" Carrick says. "We just want what is best for you"

"And what makes you think that Ana isn't what's best for me? Because she's young? Because she's beautiful? Because she's smart? Because she worships me like I do her? Because for the first time in my life I feel like I'm worthy of someone's love? No, Ana and this baby are what's best for me. I've never been as sure about anything in my entire life. No.. you tried to ruin my life… but I survived it. No thanks to either of you"

"What are you-" Grace tries to start when Christian continues to talk over her.

"You think Ana is going to ruin me with a baby that her and I made? What about the fucking child predator you fed me to years ago!? Huh? Do you think that made my life so much better? What happened to doing "what was best for me" then? Did you know? Did you not care? Maybe you looked the other way because she was doing her job as I began to fall in line in school. Stop fighting, stop doing drugs, stop being an embarrassment to the Grey name. Did you know your best friend was fucking your underaged son? And you are giving me a hard time for Ana? Saying she is too young? Jesus Christ, she's legal and I'm not beating the shit out of her in a fucking dungeon!" His face is bright red at the moment and I can see the tears threatening to pour from his eyes.

Carrick is on his feet in an instant. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Your best friend? Elena Lincoln!? Why do you think she fled to Florida in the middle of the night?" I look at Elliott wondering if he's about to out him too. "You sent me to her hoping she could 'straighten me out' with chores because… I don't know you couldn't do it on your own? I couldn't clean out our gutters? Or clean out our pool? Or rake and all the other shit she had me doing in between fucking me?" He drops to his seat pulling my hand in his. I squeeze his hand gently hoping he realizes that I am right here with him. That I'm there for him. _Always. Whenever the shit hits the fan._ " I wanted her gone, I wanted her out of my life. So I threatened to tell you. I wanted her money to start GEH and she gave it to me, one hundred thousand dollars. Did you really think I made that shit come out of thin air? You certainly weren't going to give it to me when I dropped out of college. She gave it to me so I wouldn't tell you. So she wouldn't be blacklisted. So she wouldn't go to prison. It only took me this long to tell you. I'm sure the statute of limitations is up now anyway" he chuckles and my blood runs cold. _I want revenge, I want restitution, I want justice for the love of my life. I want that bitch to go down for what she did to him._ "So don't talk to me like I have poor judgment. You two are the only people… only parents here with the poor judgment. So don't try and get parental on me now like Ana isn't good for me. You've lost that right to give any opinions on that a while back"

I look at Grace and see the tears flowing down her face rapidly. "You're… you're…"

"He's not lying" I hear from across the table and my eyes widen when I see Elliott's eyes looking down. "She did the same to me. When I caught him and Elena… that's when it ended for them"

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Carrick roars. "Both of you?"

"Yes" Elliott says looking at Christian sadly.

"I'm going to be sick." Mia says getting up and bolting from the table leaving us all in shock.

"Ana would you give us a minute" Grace starts when I feel his hand squeezing mine.

"Fuck no. She stays" Christian growls without looking up from the place on the table that his eyes are fixated on. After a moment, he looks at me the tears coming to his eyes. "Please don't hate me for this" he whispers.

"No… of course I don't hate you" I say moving into his lap and wrapping my hands around his neck. I push myself as close to him as I can go and I feel his hands stroking my back as he squeezes me tighter.

"I love you so much. I would never let that happen to our child" he whispers in my ear. "I will protect you and the baby."

"I know" I say into his neck as I feel the tears streaming down my face. "I am so proud of you for telling them… maybe not the way you did it. But you are… an amazing man, Christian Grey."

"I just kept thinking… what if this was our son or our daughter? Holy shit what if a man did this to our baby? And I snapped… they don't know what's best for me. Fucking obviously" he says and I wonder if anyone can hear this conversation we are having.

I try to move off of his lap but he keeps me in place. I look around the table and I see that Grace has gone and Carrick is sitting at the other end his head in his hands and Elliott is staring at us. "I… I think maybe we all need a moment?"

I see Elliott get up and Carrick follow him, leaving Christian and I alone. "Please don't leave me" he says as he looks up at me.

My eyes widen at his ludicrous statement. "Leave you? No.. never" I say unable to fathom a world where Christian didn't exist in my life. "I need you… more than my next breath" I say.

"I can't believe my mother suggested that you terminate the pregnancy… I would never let you do that."

"I know"

"Even if I didn't think this was right for us. Even if I wasn't thrilled about having a baby… I would never. I am disgusted she even said it"

"She just wants what's best for you… and she doesn't think that's me."

"But it's her grandchild"

"She wasn't thinking"

"Don't defend her, Anastasia. I am furious with her."

I nod my head not wanting to agitate him further. "I know."

"I should go talk to them. I did just drop a bomb. They are probably… hysterical. Ana I wasn't planning to do that… but the way they were talking… the shit they were saying. How dare they? Do they think that I'm that naive… that blind that I can't see things for what they are? I see you. I know that what we have is real. That you would never hurt me. That you're in as deep as I am. I don't give a shit if no one else sees that"

I nod my head. "Same here. I can wait here while you talk to them"

"No. I want you with me… please?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The five of us, Christian, Carrick, Grace, Elliott and I are sitting in his father's study, everyone holding a stiff drink besides myself. "When did it start?" Grace says jumping right in her face completely void of makeup as she wipes at her eyes for what I assume to be the millionth time.

"When I was fifteen" Christian says.

"El?" Carrick says looking at him.

"About the same. Maybe a little earlier. Christian started up with her when I stopped. I stopped my senior year when I joined the football team. I just didn't have time"

"Did you know about your brother?

"Fuck no!" Elliott says. "How could you ask me that? Neither of us knew about each other till I caught them when he came home from college. I think he was about nineteen"

"She… beat you.. both?" Grace asks and I feel my heart constrict as I think about Christian in pain.

"Yes" Christian said. "She was…" he looks at Elliott wondering how much of that they should divulge without implicating themselves. _No one wants to talk to their parents about their own sex lives and predilections and this was hard enough as it was_. "She liked it rough." Christian corrects himself.

"I'll kill her" Grace says. "I am serious. I will fly to Florida and murder her"

"It's over, mom" Elliott says.

"Says who? I am just learning of this. Honey, what is the statute of limitations for something like this. I want her to rot in prison" she says looking at Carrick.

"I agree" I say, shocked that I could actually agree with Christian's mother on something after all of what has happened tonight.

"And where do you fit into all of this?" Grace asks me.

"She has nothing to do with Elena. But she knows everything. All of my dark demons, the monsters in the closet… she's helping me fight them. I love her. You both need to understand and respect that or there isn't a place for you in our lives."

"But… honey.. Surely you understand, she's so young"

"It doesn't give you the right to treat her the way that you have. If I didn't think she was going to yell at me for it, I would have dragged her out of here hours ago. But I want you to know. Make no mistake, I am furious at you for suggesting what you did and it will take a while for me to get over that and get past it, but you're my mother and I wanted you to know that… you're going to be a grandmother"

"How do your parents feel about this?" Carrick says looking at me.

"My mother… has come around, my father isn't exactly pleased"

"You can understand why we said some of the things they said? They weren't personal, we are just looking out for our son's best interests" Carrick says.

"With all due respect, Mr. Grey, they felt kind of personal. You didn't even try to get to know me before you decided that all of this was some sort of scheme to trap Christian. I'm eighteen years old, I've been groomed to become a prima ballerina since I was five years old and now… I don't think that's going to happen because an after pregnancy body can't get back to a ballerina body." I shrug. "And that's okay, being with Christian has made me realize that being a ballerina wasn't my dream. It was the dream projected onto me. I want to write, and read and work with books. I want to get married and be a mother and have a family. I'm a fantastic ballerina and maybe it's wasted talent but… it's not what I want. Christian is my dream now. When I met him, I had no idea that he was well off. I met him in a club that I snuck into while I was looking for a friend that I thought was in trouble. He helped me, because I looked young and I was clearly out of my element. I stuck out like a sore thumb and he wanted to make sure no one took advantage of me. He was a perfect gentleman. I fell for him immediately. He was charming and exciting and… handsome." I say blushing deeply as there's so much more that I want to say. "He intimidated me but not because he was scary but because he was fascinating and I was intrigued by this older man that told me I was beautiful. No one had ever told me I was beautiful before. Not the way he had. He looked at me in a way that I knew he saw me… It was like my thoughts weren't safe from him. He looked at me like he knew _everything_. He's always treated me with the utmost respect and care. He loves me" I say turning to look at him. "And I love him… more than I thought was possible. And no we didn't plan this pregnancy of course, I certainly am not thrilled to have to give my teachers doctors notes from an OBGYN. But… that's life. It happens, and I wouldn't trade him or our baby for anything in the world. But no, Mr. and Dr. Grey, I'm not a golddigger, I'm not after Christian's money, and I certainly didn't poke holes in any condoms as we don't use them in the first place" It feels good to get all of this off of my chest and I look to the right to see Christian giving me a look that heats my skin. "I'm not going to hurt him, or take… anything from him. I just want _him_ , that's all. I want to be with him for the rest of my life. And" I look back and forth between them. "There is _nothing_ wrong with that"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We stayed at the Grey's for another few hours, getting everything out on the table. Carrick and Grace were absolutely not going to let this go but they promised Elliott and Christian that they wouldn't proceed until the morning after a night of sleep. Not that any of us believed them.

"I can't believe you told them" Elliott said as we walk towards our cars. "But.." he says as he rubs the back of his neck. "I'm glad you did"

"I just… can't believe some of the things they were saying about Ana, and I just… lost it"

"Should have warned them that you protect her fiercely, but I didn't know you'd be dropping the baby bomb at dinner. I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle!" He says as he picks me up and spins me in a circle. "How far along?"

"About six weeks" I say. "So it's still early."

"Does Kate know?" He asks and I nod.

"Please don't be angry with her I made her promise not to tell you"

"So… are there wedding bells in the future or what"

"We don't have to get married just because we are pregnant you know" I say putting hands on my hips.

"No but you can get married because my brother hasn't been able to stop smiling since you came into his life. You can get married because he dropped a secret he's been holding for three years in part to spite them for how they were treating the woman he loves. You can get married because he worships the ground you walk on. And also you can get married because you are having a baby and he wants to give it the family that he didn't have from the start. That neither of us had"

My mouth drops open at his words as I look at Christian. He's leaning against his car with his hands tucked into his pockets looking down. I move towards him and put my hands on his face. "Is that true? Do you want to give our baby the early childhood you didn't have?"

His eyes flood with tears. "Of course I do, Ana. More than anything. I want them to know that they are loved. That I will protect them fiercely… because I know what it's like when someone doesn't do that. It's scary, Ana. I don't want our child to ever feel that"

"Oh baby they won't!" I say wrapping my arms around him and squeezing as I feel him start to shake in my arms. We cry together for what feels like ever when I pull apart, my eyes puffy, his red. "We should go home" I say noticing that Elliott had disappeared to give us some space. The ride home is pretty silent, but our hands stay interlocked the entire time. We share a few glances but other than that we keep our eyes forward. We arrive home and just as we are walking through our penthouse Christian receives a text.

 **I'm sorry**

The first form of communication from his mother after all of that I expected to be some long drawn out email or letter but these two words hold so much weight that I feel the wind knocked out of me. He scoffs at it and attempts to toss his phone on the couch when I stop him. "Christian…" I look up into his questioning eyes. "She's sorry. You have to forgive her"

"No I don't."

"She didn't know what she was doing all those years ago. She didn't know what Elena was doing. She got sick twice while you were explaining it tonight. She's just as hurt and devastated. She would never want to hurt you."

"Hurting you hurts me"

"I'm okay… I'm fine" I say. "I understand why she said what she said."

"I'm not and I don't understand it, and I'm not forgiving her just like that"

I bite my bottom lip. "Do you want to go upstairs?" I ask looking up into his eyes and giving him a small smile. "I think you need to be close to me as much as I want to be close to you"

"I always want to be close to you"

I run my tongue over my bottom lip, wetting it and he groans as he pushes me slowly against the wall. "I love you" I whisper against his lips before he deepens it. He lifts me into his arms and carries me up the stairs.

After a night of making slow, sweet love his head is lying on my chest, his hand draped protectively across my stomach. "I love you" he whispers before he rubs his hand over my stomach. "And you"

"We both love you" I whisper as I stroke his head.

"Will you still love me through… all of the shit ahead? The press and whatever they say about us and… whatever happens with Elena when we bring charges against her?"

"I'll be by your side through everything, Christian. For richer or poorer, good times and bad times, sickness and health" I say quoting the traditional wedding vows before I feel myself pulled into a deep, troubled sleep.


	14. The Exception, Not the Rule

" _You're never going to be good enough for him."_

" _Gold-digging slut"_

" _Is the baby even his?"_

" _Christian, honestly darling, you could do so much better… what could you possibly see in her?"_

" _She's a child"_

I shoot up in bed for the fourth night in a row as the anxiety of my life begins to take it's toll on my ability to sleep through the night. In an instant, I feel Christian wrapping his hands around my middle and pulling me to his chest. I feel him stroking my back and him placing a kiss in my hair. It's been this way every night. I wake up in a sweat, after hearing all of my worries blaring in my head in the form of Christian's parents, my father and the press. I know that I appeared unaffected by how they treated me but the more I thought about it, the more angry and confused I felt by it all. _Did Christian's parents have that little faith in their own son that they felt he couldn't make this kind of decision on his own? Do they think that if it was really all about the money for me, why would he not just pay me off?_ I have yet to tell Christian all of this so I'm not sure why he thinks that I've developed this slight insomnia. He probably has an inkling though. "You know you're going to have to talk to me eventually" I hear as he continues to stroke my back. _Fake sleep, pretend you didn't hear that._ I try to make some light snoring sounds to make him believe that I've fallen back to sleep. "Nice try" he says moving out from under me to turn on his side lamp. I blink my eyes a few times, before covering them with my hand to block out the burst of light.

"Christian" I whine. "It's like 3 in the morning. Can we not?"

"Why aren't you sleeping, angel?" He says as he pulls my hand from my eyes and laces it with his. I look down unsure of where to begin when I decide to use the one card I have right now. _Sex. Distract him._

I move so that I am on top of him and push him to his back before straddling him. I am wearing his t-shirt, but I am naked from the waist down. My core is resting directly on his stomach and despite my nightmare I've been getting wetter by the minute since he first wrapped his arms around me. "I'm fine" I tell him as I lean down to kiss him.

He places his hand over my mouth before I reach his and he raises an eyebrow at me. I raise one back. _Is he really turning me down for sex?_ "I know what you're doing"

"Hmmm?" I say as his hand is still covering my mouth.

"You can't fuck your way out of talking to me"

"Said no man ever" I say when he uncovers my mouth. "You'd rather talk than fuck me?" I say crossing my arms.

"I'd rather talk _then_ fuck you"

"There's nothing to talk about" I say doing my best to keep the emotion out of my voice.

"Don't lie to me, Anastasia"

"Don't Anastasia me" I say furrowing my brow.

He gives me a look that tells me I'm testing his patience. "Ana" he says. "You've been off the past few days. Even when we make love... I can tell you're distracted"

"I am not!" I say immediately. _And I truly believe that. The times we make love has been the only time I've been able to quiet my thoughts._ I sigh knowing that he's not going to let this go, and I'll have no hope of getting any more sleep tonight. "I'm just… having some trouble processing everything." He nods at me urging me to go on. "Like what happened at your parents… I thought I was okay and that I understood why they treated me that way. But the more I've thought about it… I don't. I'm not someone to hold a grudge but I can't wrap my brain around… everything that was said. I realized I was telling you that you needed to work things out with them because I didn't want to be the reason there was any animosity or turmoil in your family. I didn't want to ruin your relationship with them."

"You didn't ruin anything" he interrupts me immediately, running his knuckles down my face. "Angel, my parents have been calling me non-stop for days. I'm not ready to speak to them. In part, because I knew you weren't okay. But you didn't ruin anything. They did. I'm appalled at the way they treated you, Ana. What my mother said was out of line and she knows it"

I sit in silence for a minute as I wonder how I am going to say the words that have been floating around the back of my mind ever since his mother said them outloud. "Did- does any part of you think maybe… we should? Because of… our circumstances?" I immediately fear his reaction when he tenses under me. Before I can blink he moves us so that I'm underneath him and his lips are hovering over mine before he places a gentle kiss on them.

"No"

I expect him to say more but he just continues to stare at me. "I'm not saying I want to… I don't… I just-" I'm at such a loss for words I want to scream. _Why is this so fucking difficult?_

"Ana" he cuts me off. "I know why you're asking. You're worried about what people are going to say. That's why you aren't sleeping. You're worried about how this will affect me… my job… my relationship with my parents… I don't care about any of that, Ana. I only care about how things affect my relationship with you." I let his words wash over me. He's never given me a reason not to believe the words he says and I can't start doubting him now. "Full disclosure, I was thinking if this were anyone other than you, how I would react to this. You know if it were a sub that I had gotten pregnant sometime in my past. I probably wouldn't have wanted anything to do with them. Maybe I'd even want her to do… well what my mom suggested" he says moving to his back to look at the ceiling. "Please don't hate me for saying that" he says and I shake my head. I realize he's not looking at me so I speak up.

"I don't hate you"

"But with you" he continues. "There was never any hesitation. Yes of course I was a bit panicked at first but… I've known you were it for me for a while now. Which means any obstacles we face, we do it together. And the idea of taking this on with you… well I'm excited. I love you and I want to start a family with you. Ana, I'm happy. You've made me so happy"

"Really?" I whisper. "You don't have to say anything you don't mean… because you think it's what I want to hear"

"I'm not, angel" he turns his head to look at me. "I meant every word"

I feel the tears prickling my eyes so I blink them away not wanting to dwell on my thoughts. _Christian loved me, adored me and wanted to be with me and this baby. Yes things were going to be difficult, but he's not going to abandon you. You're in this together._ "Can we be done with the heavy tonight? I think I recall you saying something about talking then fucking" I smile. He reaches up to turn out the light before I feel his hands pulling his shirt over my head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later, I am walking through the hall towards my English class when I feel a presence next to me. "Hey Rooms" Kate giggles and I shoot her an odd look. "Our housing assignments? We just got the email this morning." I narrow my eyes at her before I shake my head.

"You're kidding, right?" I ask her as my eyes widen out of shock.

"About what?"

"Uh… living together?"

"No…? Your name is on the housing form… right next to mine" Kate says and I pull her into the corner out of earshot of those that pass by.

"Are you high? I'm having a baby… did you forget? Christian's baby. Do you think he's going to want the mother of his baby and uh- his baby in a dorm room?"

She pouts for a second. "I guess I didn't think of that…" she trails off. "So we're not going to live together?"

"I don't think so" I say mirroring her pout. _Of course I'm not, Christian and I have already talked about our living arrangements. I chuckle to myself as I think maybe this was all to make sure I lived with him next year which he wanted from the start._

"You're going to live with Christian?"

"I'm living with him now… so yeah probably" I chuckle as I picture Christian's face if I were to bring this up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm sitting in my usual seat shifting nervously as I'm staring at the clock. I need to leave in thirty minutes and I still hadn't alerted my teacher that I would be leaving early today. _Since I was eighteen I didn't technically need anyone to sign me out, given that I had a doctor's note. I thought I was in the clear last time. However, per some research my teacher pulled me aside the next day and asked why I was visiting an OB-GYN. I politely told her that it was personal before walking away. But I've seen the looks that the teachers have been giving me ever since... they know. And they're less than pleased. The class valedictorian got herself knocked up. How does that look to everyone? What kind of message does that send to the student body? She maintained over a 4.0 GPA, extracurriculars and an active sex life. Who knew that was possible? Every time I'm talking to a boy in my class, I'm pulled away for some bullshit reason. If only you guys knew._ I look around and nobody's paying attention to me so I take it as the perfect time to get up and discuss my early dismissal with the teacher.

I'm standing in front of her desk as I see her furiously G-chatting on her computer. "Mrs. Stein?" I say, pulling her away from the cat video that she just received.

"Ana, hi dear, what can I help you with?"

"I- ummm I have early dismissal." I say handing her my doctor's note. "I'm leaving soon."

She pulls her glasses off of her face before taking a look at the note that I've handed her. She looks between the note and myself a few times before she stands up. "Everyone please continue what you're working on, and no talking." She looks at me. "Come with me, Ana. Grab your things" I sigh before rolling my eyes and grabbing my bag and my jacket. I follow her out of the room and down our long hallway with lockers on either side. _It's weird to think that in two short weeks I won't be walking down this hallway anymore after four years_. She stops abruptly and turns to look at me. I'm ushered into our main office and told to sit in the waiting area while she disappears into the principal's office. I don't know how long I'm sitting there when I see teacher after teacher file into the office. There's at least five teachers waiting in the Principal's office when Mrs. Stein comes to retrieve me. "Come in, Ana."

My eyes widen as I know what this is about and I wonder if I need a lawyer or Christian or my mom- _someone here._ "I don't feel comfortable with this without a lawyer or parent" I say knowing that I am well within my rights to ask for it.

"A parent? You mean a parent knows?" Mrs. Stein asks, her eyes wide with confusion and surprise.

I rub my ear before tucking a hair behind it. "Yes. Both of my parents know"

"Do his?"

"Yes but he's not a student here"

"At another school then?"

"You could say that" I say crossing my arms.

"Anastasia, you are eighteen. You're an adult. If you're adult enough to get yourself into this situation then you should be able to have a conversation as such."

"What, with five teachers interrogating me and berating me over it? No thank you" I scoff.

"We aren't going to berate you, we just want to talk to you. The guidance counselor is here as well. We just want to help. We want to ensure you are making the right decisions for yourself. You have such a bright future, it would be a shame if you threw all of that away"

"I'm not" I say simply.

"Well come in and we can talk about it. And may I remind you that although you are eighteen, you are still a student at this school, and you still have to abide by the rules and do as we say"

I narrow my eyes before getting up and following her into the Principal's office knowing with every step that this is a huge mistake. _I wonder if I should text my mother or maybe even Christian. But the last thing I need is him barging in_. "I'm leaving in thirty minutes" I say looking down at my watch. "Actually twenty now" _I need to make sure that I am in my car heading back to Escala or Christian will absolutely come looking for me. I had to all but beg him not to come pick me up from school._ I look around at the five pairs of eyes staring at me and I sigh. "What? I'm still going to college, I'm still the same Ana."

"You're pregnant" the counselor, Dr. Barnes speaks up. "Therefore, you are not the same Ana. The Ana I knew was smart, and hard-working, the top of the class. She wasn't impulsive or reckless. How did you get yourself into this situation?"

"I'm still smart and hard-working. I have a 4.4 GPA." I snort. "What, are you taking being Valedictorian away from me? Because last I checked, no one even came close to my GPA" I say. "So how are you going to explain that? Given that Harvard got on their hands and knees and begged me to come which is pretty common knowledge around here"

"We aren't taking anything from you. But that is something you should maybe think about. All of the opportunities you are going to miss out on" Dr. Barnes says.

"Like getting drunk in college? News flash we do that now. I'm good without it" I reply and I am pleased that I see the shock cross a few of their faces. _Didn't know what we were doing on the weekends, did ya?_

"Who is the father? Should he be here with us?" Dr. Barnes asks.

"She claims he doesn't go here" Mrs. Stein interjects.

"He doesn't. Ergo he's none of your concern"

"Does he go to another school in the district? Ana this is very serious," my English teacher, Mr. Gates, interrupts. _He always told me I had so much potential. I'm sure he's thinking I'm flushing my future down the metaphorical toilet as well._

"I'm aware. But I'm not fifteen. I'm eighteen and I am about to graduate in 14 days, and I will no longer be your problem."

"We just want to make sure that you are making the right choice. I mean, you are so young and have such a bright future ahead of you Anastasia" the Principal, Mr. Victor says. "Are you sure this is what you want? What he wants? I mean eighteen year old boys aren't exactly notorious for sticking around when they've gotten a girl pregnant."

"He's not eighteen. And… he loves me" I don't miss the snicker and the looks they share and I roll my eyes. "You don't have to believe me. I am not looking for your acceptance or support."

"How far along are you?" The Vice Principal asks and she's the only person in the room that I feel may actually be on my side. _All of the junior and senior teachers had a vested interest in me. They all wanted me to succeed and go places, I made the school look good. I knew that. But Miss Andrews was interested in my personal life as well. She asked about my father, my ballet performances, she would ask if I had a boyfriend. She asked about so much more than my plans for the future. I always liked her._

"About ten weeks now"

"Wow… and… you're excited?"

"That is not the direction we want to be going, Miss Andrews" Dr. Barnes says.

"I think it's the direction we should be going as she's made it clear that her mind is made up" Miss Andrews bites back.

"Yes, we both are." I smile as I picture the kisses Christian peppers across my stomach every night.

"Will you be getting married?" She asks and I blush a deep crimson.

"Miss Andrews you're out of line"

"NO, you're all out of line. You're bullying Anastasia as if she's on trial. She's pregnant. She hasn't committed a crime. And you're all acting like she has. She's not Hester Prynne, stop treating her like she's got a Scarlet A on her chest. Honey, we are just concerned. Well" she looks around the room at her colleagues. "I am concerned for you. That's all"

"I appreciate that, Miss Andrews. Really I do. Thank you. But I'm okay. I'm going to go to college on time in the fall."

"How do you expect to do that? Study and have a baby?" Mrs. Stein asks, changing the direction of the conversation that Miss Andrews was attempting to take it.

"It's going to be tough, but I have a really strong support system. Starting with the father. He's… amazing. And he'll help me. He would never want me to give up on college"

"And will you be continuing to dance?" Principal Victor asks.

"Unfortunately ballet is something I'll be giving up. But it was never my dream. It was everyone else's dream. It will be something I do for fun but no, I won't be pursuing that career wise."

"And you've explored all of your options?" Mrs. Stein asks. _I almost can't handle the way these questions are coming at me from all directions._

"There weren't any" I say simply.

"Oh Anastasia, there are plenty of options. I'm not sure about now. But there is always adoption" Dr. Barnes says.

"No!" I exclaim. "I'm not giving my baby up. At all. In any sense of the word." I say firmly.

"You're eighteen, you don't know what you're getting yourself into!" Mrs. Stein exclaims.

"Maybe I don't." I shrug. "Maybe I'm just jumping down the rabbit hole." I narrow my eyes at them. "That's what you all think right. That I just haven't thought this through? That the test came up pink and I was just ecstatic that the universe threw me this curveball? Do you think I haven't sat down with the father and made sure that this is what we both wanted?" I say the tears threatening to flood my eyes but I swallow them down. _Just get out of the office. Don't let them think you're vulnerable. Stay strong, Ana. You can cry in the car. Just get through this. Five minutes._ "I know what you're thinking. Girl meets boy, girl gets pregnant, girl throws her life away. Maybe boy leaves her when things get tough. I know that's the rule. But you all should know by now, that I'm the exception to the rule. And this situation is no different. I wasn't looking to fall in love. But I did, and then I got pregnant. And so instead of starting this stage of my life at twenty-four or twenty-five, I'm starting it at eighteen." I shrug. "Maybe it's not ideal… for the rule. But I'm the exception. And it's perfect for me… because I _am_ exceptional" I stand up and hand my note to the Principal. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Doctor's appointment." He eyes me a few times before he waves me out of his office. I don't mistake the whispers behind my back and I feel the tears welling in my eyes. _Just get to the car._

"Ana!" I hear the second I've made it to the parking lot. It's almost as if the weight has been lifted the second I stepped outside of the four walls of that building. I feel sweet relief but it also means the tears aren't far behind. I turn to see Miss Andrews behind me and I cock my head to the side.

"Yes?" I choke out.

I can tell she wants to say something regarding that bullshit meeting that just happened but the look I'm giving her stops her. "Let me know when the baby shower is… I would like to come… if that's okay?" She says and I smile.

"Absolutely"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _I know that I shouldn't even bother hiding why I'm upset. To just come clean with Christian. Let him yell and scream about getting the entire room of faculty fired with the exception of Miss Andrews. The elevator dings and I walk through our penthouse. I smile to myself as I think about the word our. Christian and I actually had a long conversation about having my name added to Escala which led to the bigger conversation of moving into a house more suitable for all the children Christian wants us to have._ I roll my eyes to myself. _Given that we more than likely conceived this baby here, I do want to keep Escala. But I like the idea of starting somewhere fresh with Christian_. I see him sitting at the breakfast bar cradling the phone to his ear as he types on his laptop when he sees me. His eyes light up but they fade immediately when he sees my expression. _And here I thought I had a shot at hiding it._ He ends the call immediately before he's on his feet moving towards me. "What's wrong?"

I hear the worry in his voice and I know that he's automatically fearing the worst. "I'm fine, but… I think you should sit down"

Twenty minutes later, he's pacing the living room. "Why didn't you call me, Ana?" He's back next to me on the couch, his hands rubbing mine gently. "I would have come"

"I know you would have" I say rubbing his cheek gently. "I don't doubt that. You would have jumped without thinking. And we aren't ready to be public yet. We have a plan and I wasn't going to derail that. I could handle it"

"Fuck derailing, they should not have done that. They're all as good as fired. How fucking dare they attack you like that. Five members of the staff? How is that okay? How is that helping- if they think that's what they were trying to do"

"As much as I would love that, let's just take a step back from the firing. Think about this first."

"I have thought about it"

"Christian" I say pulling his hands to my mouth and kissing them. "Stop. Just…"

"STOP telling me to let shit go, Ana. I'm never going to let anyone hurt you. If someone even looks at you wrong, I'm going to be out for blood. When are you going to get that?"

I give him a sad smile as I think about his possessiveness. "Christian" I sigh. "I love you for it but…" I sigh knowing there was no use arguing with him. "I guess it would be easier to bring you to prom. Maybe we can leverage this?" I chuckle. _Prom was next weekend, and although I had two tickets I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to get Christian in yet. Kate is still hung up on the idea of getting him and Elliott disguises. But hey if half of the staff was about to get fired anyway, maybe it wouldn't matter._

"Don't joke" he says shooting me a stern look. "I'm so fucking angry… teachers have one job. To make students feel safe and cared for. They shouldn't be turning on you like that. A guidance counselor? A principal? They're supposed to be supportive and nurturing. Not… whatever bullshit that was. An intervention?" He runs a hand through his hair and brings me to stand. "We need to go or we are going to be late for our appointment. But this is not over. I'll be having a long talk with my father about this."

"Your father?" I whine as I think about yet another person who isn't exactly thrilled about this situation.

"Baby, as much as he's pissed me off. He is my personal lawyer; I don't want to involve my GEH lawyer in this. Besides my parents would do anything to get back in our good graces"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are on the way back from the doctor when I move into Christian's lap as I can't escape the feeling that we are being watched. I didn't feel it until we were leaving the Doctor's office but I couldn't help looking over my shoulder every few minutes. Maybe what happened today coupled with more and more people finding out about my pregnancy is making me paranoid. Christian has told me over and over that if anyone even had an inkling, his PR team would be all over it. He pays them a hefty salary to monitor when his name comes up _anywhere_. I nuzzle my face in his neck as I feel his hands rub my back as he tries to calm the growing tension building inside of me.

"You alright?"

"Just been a long day" I say. "And I have to work on my Valedictorian speech. It's due by Friday."

"You have to turn it in?"

"Our counselor wants to look at it. Although I'll probably just show it to Miss Andrews instead. Since everyone else seems to hate me"

"No one hates you, baby."

"I guess" I say as I stare out the window watching the buildings go by one at a time.

We are barely out of the elevator before I am hauled into Christian's arms in a fireman's hold and carried up the stairs. Christian typically likes for me to rest after we visit the Doctor and after today I'm sure he's going to all but force me to bed early. He sets me on the bed and goes to work pulling off my shoes and socks. He stays kneeling in front of me and looks up at me giving me a look that both turns me on and melts my heart. I smile back at him before I run a hand through his hair. "Thank you" I say finally. "For loving and protecting me so fiercely"

"I would do anything for you, Anastasia"

I nod. "I know"

"We can shelve this talk about your teachers harassing you until tomorrow. But they aren't going to get away with this" he says leaning forward slightly and pressing a kiss to my stomach. He lifts my shirt over my head and pushes me back slightly before he's on top of me. His lips trailing up my bare stomach, between my breasts before he finds his destination. He kisses me, pouring every bit of passion into the kiss before he pulls away. He stares down at me, maintaining eye contact as he kisses back down my torso and slides my shorts down my legs. I toss my head back relishing in the feeling of his lips against my thighs and his stubble rubbing against it.

"Christian" I moan as I feel his hands moving my underwear down my legs. He kisses up one leg before the other before he settles at the apex of my thighs. I let out a sigh as he works me over, his tongue unrelenting as I build higher and higher towards my climax. I feel myself about to snap when the sound of Christian's phone blares through the room. I tense slightly, my sexual haze being interrupted by the sounds of real life. I feel his hands stroke the outside of my thighs gently as if to tell me he wasn't stopping and I relax. "You can… if you need to take it" I manage to whimper out.

I feel his head move back and forth against my thighs followed by the word "no" that I feel through me. I'm back at the edge when I feel his mouth leave me and my head shoots up at the loss of contact. He gives me a wicked smirk as he undoes his pants and removes them as well as his underwear. He's on his knees between my legs, drawing his dick lightly through my slit. I look down to see the mix of our arousals coating the tip of his cock. "Fuck" I say as all the air leaves my lungs, the sexual tension making it difficult to breathe normally. I've closed my eyes just as I feel him push all the way inside of me, his head in the space between my neck and my shoulder, trailing kisses between them.

"Fuck, Ana. Every time I'm inside of you it feels better and better." He grabs my hands forcing them down on either side of my head as he begins to plow into me, hard. This isn't lovemaking but I do know that he's trying to convey his love for me in a different way with every thrust.

"Let me touch you" I whine as I push up against his arms that are holding me down. "Please, I need to" He lets my arms go and I immediately move them around his neck as I move his lips towards mine. "It's so much" I say against his mouth as he slows his rhythm to keep his lips connected to mine.

"What is, angel?"

"What I feel for you" I say as he pulls back to look at me. "You and me and… us… it's…" I don't have the words to describe it, but one word comes to mind suddenly. "It's exceptional"

He stops thrusting, but his cock continues to pulse inside of me in rhythm with my racing heart. "Say when" he says abruptly.

"Say when what?"

"When do I get to marry you?" He says and my heart swells at his choice of words. _Like getting to marry me is a prize he's desperate to win._

"You haven't asked" I smile cheekily and he raises an eyebrow at me as he begins to rock in and out of me slowly.

"Soon. But I want to know how long you would like to wait. Before the baby is born? After the baby is born?"

"Before would be lovely" I say not wanting to "have a baby out of wedlock". _Although it's not a bad thing, I would just like to be married first if I can help it._

"Perfect. Less than nine months then"

"Try like less than four. I would prefer to not be as big as a house"

His eyebrows shoot to his hairline before his lips are on mine. "Done. Can we do it tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow!" I chuckle.

"Okay maybe not tomorrow, but over the summer maybe?"

"I could be on board with that" I giggle.

"Fuck. You'll be Mrs. Grey so soon. The thought alone is going to make me come" he says as he rubs his nose against mine. His phone rings again and he groans. "God what the fuck, I told them not to bother me. Ros can handle whatever it is" he moves his mouth with mine as I feel him picking up his pace as he attempts to get back the orgasm he lost when he slowed down. I'm building with him as his hand has found my clit and he's rubbing it in conjunction with his thrusts. The sounds of two cell phones are ringing through the air when I recognize one ringtone as mine. "For the love of God!" Christian groans. "GEH better be on fucking fire" he says pulling out of me slowly. He moves towards his phone and barks his greeting into it as I reach for mine. I tuck my just fucked hair behind my ear, as it's all over the place now as I read Kate's incessant text messages.

 **Ana, pick up!**

 **Have you seen the news?**

 **You're all over it!**

 **I thought you were keeping a low profile till graduation!**

My heart sinks as I click the link she sends me to Seattle Nooz.

 _ **Billionaire Baby?**_

 _ **Sources say Christian Grey might be welcoming a baby sometime in the near future! As we've reported, Grey has been spotted around town with a young brunette. Pictures have never caught them behaving romantically but as these recent pictures show, it seems that there may be nothing platonic about this relationship. Is the mysterious brunette the mother of his baby? And why the secrecy? Were they hiding their relationship? And if so, why? Pictures below show them leaving an office earlier today that was confirmed to be an Obstetrician's office. Stay tuned as we're officially on Grey Baby Watch!**_

I feel my hands start to shake as I drop the phone that has a few pictures of myself and Christian. One picture has his hand over my stomach as he whispers something in my ear. One picture we are in what seems to be a heated liplock. And the final picture, the kicker… when he knelt before me and placed a kiss on my belly. The craziest part about this is that all of that happened right outside of the office while we waited for the elevator. And I could have sworn there was no one around. _At least I didn't think. Maybe this explains what I thought was an irrational fear of being watched._

"Ana" I hear him say and I look up and see Christian staring at me. He looks at my phone that is now in my lap and I feel the tears come rushing to my eyes. _I can't even enjoy the fact that we are both naked still._

"What now?" I say softly as I feel a tear escape and it rolls down my cheek.

"Ana please don't cry"

"Who… who saw us? Who did this?" I say unable to stop the tears escaping. "You said after I graduated. We haven't even come out as a couple yet! Have you seen the pictures? This means it's someone who works at Dr. Greene's office. Or maybe a mother in the waiting room… but…we didn't even go in through the waiting room!" I cry.

"Ana.. baby breathe" he says sitting next to me and pulling me into his arms. "It's going to be okay"

"We… we had a plan" I breathe out feeling panicked that we have no control over this situation now. "We were supposed to be in front of this"

"I know. I know… we are trying to figure out who this source is. If it's anyone in that doctor's office, I will know, angel. And I will end them. But I need you to stay calm, all of this stress isn't good for the baby" _And I know instantly why he's not more panicked, why he's not yelling at some poor soul. He's trying to keep me calm._

"It's so not the point now" I say.

"Angel, no one even knows it's you, I-" His words are interrupted by the Google alert ping on both of our phones.

 **UPDATE: Sources confirm that the mysterious brunette is eighteen year old, Washington native Anastasia Steele. Sources are unclear of how it is that they met, but that they have been in relationship for the past several months.**

"Oh God" I whisper as I feel hands framing my face.

"Look at me"

I look up into his grey eyes that are showing so many emotions- sadness, anger, worry, shock. "It's going to be okay, alright? I have the best PR team on this. We will figure out what happened, and we will make a statement together okay?" He says softly still not trying to excite me.

"Together?"

"Yes" He moves me gently and goes into his closet before coming out with a small box. He's also put on a pair of sweatpants much to my disappointment. "This is not at all how I intended to ask you. But you're going to need this on your finger when we give the statement." I nod as I hold my out my left hand for him to slide it on. He smiles and I reciprocate despite the circumstances. _This is still the biggest moment of my life…_ "I love you more than anything you know that right?"

I nod. "Yes"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes" I say immediately and I do. _I don't know what the outcome of all of this is going to be, but I do know that Christian will do everything to keep me out of the line of fire. I just only hope he doesn't get burned in the process._

"There's so much I want to say. But they want us talking to the press within the hour, and my PR team will be here in probably fifteen minutes." He sighs.

"Just ask me. You can do the hearts and flowers later"

He opens the ring box and I'm stunned by the rock inside. "Anastasia, will you marry me? Share my life with me? Be mine forever?" He says and I immediately lunge into his arms chanting "yes" over and over.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I appreciate you all taking the time to be here today. As many of you have heard, there was a blatant invasion of my privacy today." He begins and I look out into the crowd of people. Reporters and investors showed up in hoards to this press conference at GEH and despite the fact that I am off to the side standing with his PR team right now I still feel everyone's gaze. "While we are working on who was it that leaked this information, I do want to be honest with all of you. A few months ago, I met an extraordinary woman who captivated me instantly. I never believed in love at first sight and then I met her and she turned my world upside down. Although she was eighteen," I smile to myself as the PR team said in no way shape or form could he admit to being intimate with me while I was under eighteen, whether or not seventeen was legal, they wanted all bases covered for more conservative board members and investors, "she was still in high school." He sighs. "She _is_ still in high school. But as many of you know, I'm not so far removed from high school myself." _Play up the fact that six years isn't that much of a difference they urged._ "Nevertheless, I fell in love. We fell in love. Baby, come here" he says and I move across the platform towards him as I hear the cameras going crazy. "This is Anastasia Steele, my fiance and the mother of my unborn child. She is the love of my life and I can't wait until she's Mrs. Grey which will be sometime before the end of the year" He smiles at me before he looks at the enormous crowd of people that have piled into this room to hear what he has to say. "And if anyone has a problem with that..." He places a kiss on my forehead. "I love you" he mouths to me causing a round of gasps amongst the crowd.

"I love you too" I say back as I wrap my arms around him tighter.

"If anyone has a problem with that" he points towards the back of the room. "There's the door." I gasp as that was not part of the plan. He smiles down at me before back at the crowd. "Any questions?" He asks as every arm in the room shoots towards the ceiling.

 **A/N: Any thoughts on who the source is? ;) BTW this story probably has another chapter (or two max) before the epilogue!**


	15. The Aftermath

**A/N: Guys! I loved your guesses of who you thought was the source of the leak! You had me cracking up. BUT out of all the reviews only TWO people got it right! Shoutouts to Cindra and Christian618 (shocker you've been with me since what, day 1? You probably know what I'm going to write before I write it ha)**

 _It's been two days since the news broke about my secret relationship with_ _ **the**_ _Christian Grey. I've been plastered all over television, over the front page of all local newspapers and the highlight of about a dozen national ones, not to mention the internet. The internet hasn't been too kind to me labeling me everything from a gold digger to the victim of statutory rape. My blood runs cold every time I see or hear that word. Like Christian forced me to do something. Like he would ever hurt me. Some even speculated that Christian kidnapped me and I'm suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. My parents' character have been called into question stating that they must have sold me to him for money. I had to stop reading that one after it physically made me sick. School hasn't been too bad given that I'm relatively popular but there are a few jealous, catty girls that can't understand what Christian could possibly want with me. "Ignore them." Kate tells me. Easy for you to say, your character hasn't been called into question by every media outlet in town._

I've been summoned to the Principal's office for the second time in a week and I can't escape the feeling of dread that courses through me. _I wonder what my teachers will have to say regarding the news?_ I look up when I hear the door open and I'm fairly certain I've gone into shock when I see who walks through it. "Chr-Christian?" I stammer out as I stand and he walks the few steps to pull me into his arms.

"Angel" he whispers in my ear before he kisses me gently on the lips. I have to remind myself that I'm in school and it's not the time for a proper kiss. I pull away before he has a chance to deepen it. "How is your day going?"

"Fine.. what.. what are you doing here?" I whisper as I see my Principal appear in the door jam behind Christian.

"Anastasia!"

"Principal Victor" I nod.

I wonder if he's going to say more when Christian begins to talk. "Your Principal and I and a few of your teachers had a nice long talk"

"About what?" I say.

"What would happen if _anyone_ were to antagonize or harass my girl"

I look up into his stormy Grey eyes and I know based on the look that he's giving me that I never had a shot at talking him out of going to my teachers. _He was going to do anything and everything to protect me. I was sure of that._ "Thank you" I say softly. I stand on my tiptoes to give him a short kiss, trying to express my gratitude without being too obscene.

"Miss Steele, care to join us?" I turn to look at him and my eyes widen. _What does he mean 'us'?_ I look at Christian hoping he has the answer to my internal question.

"Come on, angel. I want to make sure that everyone is on the same page" he rubs his nose against mine before kissing me again and guiding me towards the office.

I follow Principal Victor, Christian's hand possessively resting on the small of my back. I'm shocked to see all of the same teachers that were just in here with me a few days ago telling me what a mistake I was making. _Well- besides Miss Andrews_. _I assume that they have changed their tune?_

Dr. Barnes is first to speak up. "Anastasia, may I be the first to admit that.. perhaps our execution was a bit… off the last time we met."

 _Here we go._ I snort and roll my eyes. "Is that so?"

"Yes." I look to my left to see Christian leaning back in his chair his fingers steepled under his chin. _Cocky bastard._ He nods once, not taking his eyes off Principal Victor. It's almost as if my Principal is a puppet and Christian is pulling the strings.

"We wanted to apologize for how we reacted to this situation. We were wrong to chastise you for your choices" Dr. Barnes says. _Yeah I'll bet you're sorry because you want to keep your jobs._

"We just want what's best for you. You have a bright future ahead of you" Mrs. Stein continues.

"Oh it's _have_ now" I mumble to myself. "Okay then" I say to everyone. "Is that all? I really should get back to class."

"We also wanted to let you know that we've granted Mr. Grey access to attend the senior prom with you"

I laugh to myself. "What did that cost him? Is he funding the library expansion? Or maybe the external biology lab you've been fighting for?" I turn to look at Christian. "What did you do?"

"Anastasia, you wanted me there. I wanted to be there with you. I did what I needed to do, and frankly it wasn't much given how they behaved a few days ago. They're lucky they all still have jobs" he says as he glares around the room. "You can thank Anastasia for that. She didn't want to get _our_ lawyers involved"

I stifle a giggle and take a look around the room eyeing all of the teachers that are all but shaking. With the exception of Miss Andrews who gives me a small smile. I smile back hoping to convey that she shouldn't be worried. "So they'll be no problems bringing him to prom?"

"No" Principal Victor says. "We've put him on the approved guests list."

I nod. "He has a brother..." I say remembering Kate wants to bring Elliott as well. "Ummm his brother needs to be on the approved list as well"

Principal Victor looks at Christian and he furrows his brow. "Don't look at me, she's calling the shots. I'm only here to make sure there are no problems" Christian says.

"Done. Anything else?" He says looking back and forth between us as if he doesn't know who to listen to.

"No, I think that's all… for now" I say with a smile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I have to go back to work, but I'll see you at home." Christian says as we walk back into the lobby outside of the Principal's office. "Mark" Christian calls through the open door referring to my Principal. He appears almost immediately. _Mark? Okay, seriously? This cockiness is really turning me on._ "You call me if you have any problems. My guy is right outside. So _don't_ have any" he says shooting him a look that says _don't fuck with me._

He turns his attention back to me. "I love you" he says loud enough for the entire office staff to hear before he disappears.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I would have KILLED to see that!" Kate squeals. She kicks her feet under the table in the library and does a dance in her seat. "Oh my God! Steele! I can't believe he came here! And you're engaged! And a baby! Who would have thought?" She laughs. "Thanks for getting El in too. This is going to be great! I already told my mom I was going to after prom and then a party at our friends house so I'll be free to hangout with you or just go back to Elliott's" she shrugs.

"I think the four of us doing something would be fun" I smile. "Maybe they'll take us to a party" I giggle and Kate's eyes widen.

"I'll ask him!" A few minutes of silence go by when I look up to see Kate staring at me.

"What? Do you need this?" I say handing her my homework.

"No. I'm just…" she contorts her mouth. "Has Christian figured out who went to the press about you guys?"

"No" I shrug. "It's like they've hit a dead end and the Nooz isn't giving up any information on the source. They keep saying it was an anonymous tip"

"Hmm" she says eyeing me. I can see the wheels turning in her head and I have a feeling I'm not going to like where her mind is going.

"What, Kate? Clearly you have a hypothesis so spill it" I say not looking up from my paper as I finish up the last bit of my honors calculus homework.

"Well… it just all seems sorta odd. Even El was wondering how they haven't figured it out. Christian's guys are like the best of the best. How could someone have gotten so much intel? They knew your name and age and they had pics. Pics from INSIDE your OB-GYN office… I don't know. I just wonder…" she trails off.

"What, spit it out!"

"I just wonder if the leak came from… inside"

I look up from my homework with wide eyes as I'm almost at a loss for words. "What? You're insane."

"I'm just looking at this objectively! You know I want to be a journalist. I look for the truth, and I decipher every situation from all angles. Just look at it from an outsider's perspective- how easy would it be for Christian to tip off reporters."

"CHRISTIAN!" I shriek causing a round of "shhhh"'s from around me. "You think Christian outed me? Outed us? You're crazy"

"Am I? I mean you said he's been awfully calm about it all. I would expect him to be out for blood. Christian Grey doesn't just accept defeat that easily. Aren't you just a little bit surprised they haven't found out who did it? And that press conference… he was so relaxed and cool, he knew exactly what to say"

"The PR team wrote the statement!"

"That part about 'there's the door'? You said that was improv."

"I can't believe you've put these thoughts in my head. What would be the point of him going to the press? Why wouldn't we just come clean together earlier like we planned to do?"

"I don't know, maybe the stress of keeping it a secret? Maybe he was ready for the world to know and he didn't want to do it on his PR teams terms? To tell the world that you're his? And no one else's? That he got you pregnant and you belong to him? I'm not saying his intentions were malicious, I'm just saying it's possible that's all. He loves you more than anything Ana, I know that without a doubt. Maybe in some odd way he was just trying to protect you by doing this? He's a control freak, you know that! Maybe he just wanted it to be on _his_ terms. Maybe he was worried someone would out you when you guys showed up at prom and he wanted to beat everyone to it? Or maybe it's not really Christian! I'm just thinking out loud!"

I stare at her for what feels like ages letting the weight of her words surround me. _Could it have been Christian? It's so dark and evil but at the same time romantic?_

XXXXXXXXXXX

My mind drifts as I drive the familiar route to Escala. "There's no way" I say out loud. "Kate doesn't know what she's talking about." I shake my head as I pull into my parking spot. I'm going through all of the conversations in my mind we've had over the past few days. I grip the steering wheel as I think about Christian telling me "not to worry" and "he would take care of it." _Fuck! Has the writing been on the wall this whole time? No. No way. He would never blindsight me like that._

I'm walking through Escala and before I can stop myself I'm bolting for his office. _Maybe I should just ask him if he knows any more than they did yesterday. Or maybe just ask him outright? No it would crush him if he knew I was having these thoughts._

I open the door to his office and his head immediately shoots up and he's off his feet. The 'hey' is barely out of my mouth before he has me against the wall, his mouth covering mine, swallowing my breathy moans and sighs. His tongue finds mine in an instant and coaxes it from my mouth into his. He pulls back slightly peppering gentle kisses on my bottom lip before he sucks it into his mouth and bites down. "I love you so much." He pauses to look at me. "I'm so sorry all of this is happening. But you know I will do everything in my power to make it right." He tells me with so much conviction but Kate's words are still ringing in my head. _Why is he apologizing? Does he have a reason? Make what right? Does he think he did something wrong?_

"Do… do you… why are you apologizing?"

"Because being in my world… being the center of my world" he corrects himself. "I did this to you"

"What do you mean?" _I know he doesn't mean it like that. He can't._

"Being with me did this to you"

"Christian, I wouldn't trade being with you for anything." I say pulling his eyes from the ground to look at me. I'm silent for a moment before I take a deep breath preparing myself to say the words. "I need to ask you something"

"Ask me something" he says as he runs his lips down my cheek and neck. _God.. I can't while you're doing that._ "What is it angel? You can ask me anything"

"I-" I struggle getting the words out when I'm suddenly lifted into his arms and brought to the couch in his office. He pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me. I try to get my words together when I feel his hands on my left ring finger, playing with the rock that is sitting on top of it. "You have to know that I don't really believe this…" I trail off. "I'm just… why haven't you guys figured out who did it? You have like secret service worthy security and they can't figure out who sent a tip to a silly gossip site? Who was following us around?"

"Taylor thinks that the person that got the pictures of us at Dr. Greene's hacked the security cameras. They may not have even been there"

I nod as I tuck a hair behind my ear. "Great" I roll my eyes. "Does that mean they can hack the cameras here?"

"Of course not, Anastasia. It's airtight here."

"You don't know that. You don't even know what this person is capable of because you don't know who it is!" I squeal and I feel him tense below me.

"Ana I know this is frustrating…" he trails off and I interrupt him immediately.

"No, Christian I am so far past frustrated! I was frustrated after being called a golddigger. But only to an extent because at least I expected that. Or that I trapped you. But the people speculating that you've kidnapped or raped or bought me?"

"I told you not to read that trash" he growls and I can feel his anger rising.

"Not the point! It's out there. About you and me and us. It hurts that they're turning our love into something awful. You know someone wrote that maybe I was promised to you when I was born. That your parents and my parents orchestrated the whole thing complete with a dowry and everything" I say rolling my eyes. "God what century are we living in?"

"Well you are a Princess" he smiles and I chuckle at his attempt to make the situation light but then I'm worried again. _Why is he making it light? This is serious._

"Why are you so calm? Why aren't you more pissed about this? Aren't you angry? You seemed angrier about my teachers! You all but wanted to crucify them and you seem so nonchalant about this? It doesn't make any sense" I say getting off of his lap and attempting to break the somewhat sexual haze we are in. "And it just makes me wonder…" I stop. "I just have to know… I mean…was it you?" I whisper and I don't miss the fire in his eyes. The fire disappears just as quickly and is replaced by sadness.

"You don't really think that, do you?" He shakes his head.

"No" I say immediately after hearing myself say the words and more importantly seeing the hurt written all over his face. "I just… you haven't found whoever it was yet- you hardly have any leads! And I wondered why because you have the best people on this and then you're so calm about it all and I don't know… it would be so easy I guess.. if you were the one to tip them off. To send the photos…"

"First of all, you think I'm not angry, Anastasia? That I don't want to destroy who did this? Who hurt you? Just because I'm not showing you my rage doesn't mean I'm not angry. I'm trying to shield and protect you from as much of this bullshit as I can. Make no mistake I am FURIOUS, Anastasia. I've threatened everyone from the staff at the Nooz to my own goddamn staff. You know I actually thought about asking my parents if they had anything to do with it? But I couldn't bring myself to think that they are that malicious. But then I had a brief fleeting thought about them or Elliot or even Mia slipping up to someone in passing, sending someone on the witch hunt." He moves towards me and stares me down, hard. "I am going to _end_ whoever did this." He growls before his face softens dramatically and I see the sadness wash over his perfect features. "So no, Ana. I didn't do it. I would never. And you have no bad it fucking shatters me that you think I would" he says before leaving me alone in his study.

I want to run after him, take him in my arms, kiss him, tell him I love him and I'm sorry for asking something so ludicrous but the sound of the elevator ding stops me. _He's leaving._ I reach for my phone and dialing the number I know by heart as it's easier than even looking through recent calls.

"Ana"

"Christian come back, I'm sorry" I say as soon as I hear him answer.

"Ana I just need some time."

I feel the tears building. "Are you leaving me?" I say immediately and the thought leaves me short of breath. _Deep breaths Ana. Inhale exhale._

"No of course not. I just… hearing what you said. Knowing you think that…" he trails off.

"I don't think that. It was just a stupid thought." _I know better than to bring Kate into this, shit would hit the fan. And maybe she gave me the idea but I said it out loud. It was my choice to make this mess and hurt the man I love. I have to own it. "_ It's just been hard hearing and seeing everything. I'm angry that someone violated my privacy- our privacy. I just got engaged and I'm pregnant and I'm graduating high school. I should be happy! Instead I'm just trying to get through my days without crying. Willing the time to pass quicker for this to blow over" I sniffle and wipe the tears that are pouring from my eyes. "Christian please don't hate me, I love you and I'm sorry. I need you" _I'm well aware at how i sound right now but I don't care. I do need him and I know he needs me too._

I hear him sigh and I know I can wear him down if I push a little harder. "Please?" I say and I hear the sound of a car ignition.

"I'll be back soon, Ana" he says before there's a click.

I look at my phone, shocked that he actually ended the call. I take off for the elevators when Sawyer, my CPO, stops me. "Ana"

"Where did they go!?" I stomp my foot as I try to get by him and into the elevator.

Sawyer steps in front of the elevator, blocking my way. "Mr Grey wants you to stay here"

"Tell me where they went, Sawyer?"

"I'm not sure, ma'am."

"Bull! And stop with that ma'am shit I told you" I say pointing at him before I begin to pace back and forth. "He's so mad at me, he hates me!"

"Ma'am- Ana. I'm not sure what happened but I can assure you that Mr. Grey does _not_ hate you"

"You don't know what I said to him. What I accused him of!" I slide down the wall to the ground and put my head in my hands as I try to mask the tears flying down my face. "He'll never forgive me. I'll never forgive me" I've been sobbing for what feels like hours when I hear the ding of the elevator and someone lifting me up. I would know his scent and the feel of his hands anywhere so I relax immediately. "Christian" I manage to choke out. "You're back"

"Angel" I hear him whisper as he carries me to the couch in the living room. He sits, holding me in his lap and rubs my back in gentle circles as I try to calm the sobs that have wracked my body for the last 10,20,30 minutes? _Who knows._ "Stop crying, please." He says in my ear. "Sawyer says you've been hysterical for twenty minutes"

"You" hiccup "are so" hiccup "mad. I'm mad too" I sniffle as I've gotten somewhat control of my breathing. "I hurt you. And I love you. I'm so sorry. I made you leave"

"I shouldn't have left. I was just angry and I was worried I would take it out on you"

"I deserve it."

He lifts my chin to meet his gaze. "Tell me you don't believe that I would do that."

"I don't believe it. I'm sorry I said it, I-" I'm stopped by his finger over my lips.

"Stop apologizing, angel. I know you're sorry"

"I shouldn't have asked"

"I'm not frustrated with the fact that you asked. I'm frustrated that the thought crossed your mind in the first place. Do you really think I would have done something like that? At very least, without talking to you first!?"

"I know that there are things that you have done or have to do without telling me first. I guess I just thought this could have fallen into that category. You've never given me any indication that you would deceive me in any way… this isn't you, Christian." I look away from his penetrating gaze as I try to keep the tears at bay. "This past week has just been a little tough that's all"

"I know it has. And you've handled it amazingly. I'm so proud of you. It's normal to let things get to you, or get in your head. We're human. Of course things are going to affect us even if only subconsciously. I've been in the spotlight for a while now so I know how to block it out. You're still new to this. But we can't let them tear us apart. You have to trust me. There's going to come a time where they'll speculate that there's trouble between us if I'm spotted in another state and you're here for whatever reason. If I'm seen having lunch with another woman, I'm allegedly cheating on you." He grabs my face and squeezes hard. "I will take you over my knee so fucking fast if you ever believe any shit like that" I nod my head as I try to quiet the sexual being inside of me. _Maybe a spanking is what I need right now._ "They will assume you're pregnant…" he trails off. "Well when you are no longer pregnant. Angel, some of those things are just clickbait. To get readers, more views… there is no truth to any of it"

I bite my bottom lip before I feel his hands releasing my lip from my teeth. He runs his thumb over the teeth marks. "I understand" I whisper. We are both silent for a few moments. "Where did you go?"

"I was on my way to Elliott's. And then Sawyer called Taylor saying that maybe I needed to come back because you were hysterical." I feel my cheeks heating up when I feel his lips on my right cheek, fueling the fire even more. His hand cups my left cheek and before I can think his lips have found mine. His tongue, unrelenting as he forces it through my closed mouth to find mine. We kiss until I break away, desperate for air. The look in his eyes mirror mine and before I can suggest we move upstairs, I'm being carried up the stairs to our bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's three days before prom and I don't think I've ever been this excited. I realized a week ago that I was screwed and after spending a day and a half back and forth between two different malls, Christian pulled out the big guns. _I don't need a super expensive dress, Christian. Neiman Marcus? This is… too much. This isn't my wedding dress for goodness sakes._ I told him. His eyes widened to the size of saucers before he rakes my body once, no doubt picturing me in a wedding dress. It only took about 15 seconds for me to be bent over our couch, skirt up and him inside of me. After that, he took me to meet Caroline Acton and sat and watched me try on dress after dress. I figured he was just going to drop me off but he said he wanted to stay and watch. Much to my, and Caroline's shock. After two and a half hours, we found a winner.

 **Flashback:**

I slide the dress up my legs and over my torso and instantly I feel something special. I haven't seen my reflection yet but looking down, I'm in awe of everything about this dress. I step out of the dressing room inside of her office and into the main area and I swear you could hear a pin drop. Christian hasn't taken his eyes off of me and I swear he's not breathing and Caroline is looking at me with the biggest smile on her face. I turn to look in the three way mirror in her office and I smile at the woman looking back at me. _Wow. I look… beautiful._ It's one of those gowns worthy of a princess, fitted at the top, and flares out at the hips. There's enough tulle under my skirt for a small child to get lost in but I feel stunning. It's light blue with a sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder straps. I look like Cinderella and I can't get rid of the smile that is permanently on my face.

"Caroline, give us a minute will you?"

"Of course, Mr. Grey. There's a pair of shoes downstairs that would go perfectly with this dress. Size seven and a half, right?"

I nod, my eyes still captivated by own reflection. I hear the faint sound of a door closing when I see him standing behind me in the mirror. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on" he says his lips moving down my neck. "The second you walked out, I was dying to touch you. Christ, Ana. How are you real?"

I swallow, trying to reign in my emotions as they're going haywire with the way he's looking at me. "You always make me feel so beautiful"

"You are beautiful. Fuck" he curses more to himself. "Get this one"

I nod again. "This dress is unbelievable"

"It's nothing without you in it" he says.

I finally pull my eyes away from my reflection and reach up to wrap my hands around his neck. "I'm so excited that you're coming with me"

"Our first prom" he chuckles. "One of many firsts we will share"

 **End Flashback**

It's six pm and I'm sitting in the living room working on some final edits to my valedictorian speech when Christian comes in sporting a solemn look all over his perfect face. He sees me and immediately moves towards me pulling me into his arms. "I have to go to New York" he says.

I furrow my brow. "For how long?"

"Two days. I promise I will be back on Friday. It'll be late, but under no circumstances will I miss your prom on Saturday"

I furrow my brow as I realize this will be the first time Christian and I have been apart for longer than a night since we first got together but I do feel a sense of relief that he will be back before prom. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight" he says sadly. "I guess there's no chance you want to come with me?"

"I would follow you anywhere" I say before I wrap my arms around him tightly. "You know I would. But I can't. School" I say scrunching my nose and he chuckles. "When do you have to go?"

"A few hours"

"Do we have time for… anything?" I say a mischievous twinkle in my eye.

"There's no way I'm leaving here without being inside of you" I giggle before he pulls me up the stairs to our room.

An hour later, my head is resting on his chest, my naked body draped across his as I draw circles on his abdomen. "I'll miss you"

His hand reaches under my chin moving it up to look at him. "I'll miss you too, angel.. every second." He moves me gently so that he's hovering over me. "Both of you"

"Call me when you get there?"

"It'll be late, even with the time difference"

"I don't care, I want to make sure you've made it safely" I say

"Okay" he kisses down my body until he finds my stomach and drags his lips across it as he does every night. "I know I won't be here the next two days but don't forget me okay? I'll be back and I'll give you lots of kisses then"

My eyes well up like they always do when Christian talks to our baby. He's pressing kiss after kiss to my stomach telling him or her how much he loves them and their beautiful mother and I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to make love to this man that has me in so deep. I'm about to pull him up and entice him with another round of sex when there's a knock on our bedroom door.

He looks towards the door and then back at me and I know he's going to give an earful to whoever is interrupting us. "Mr. Grey, I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's urgent" I hear Taylor say from the other side of the door. Christian rolls his eyes before pressing another kiss to his lips.

"Can I just get some time with my girl before I have to leave her for two days?" He whispers against my lips before he gets out of bed pulling on his clothes that have been discarded all over the room due to our prior urgency to get into bed.

"It concerns Miss Steele as well." He says as if Taylor thought Christian would move quicker thinking it concerns me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"LEILA FUCKING WILLIAMS!" He roars and I flinch when he shoots to his feet successfully moving me off of his lap. "I swear to fucking God Taylor you said you had a handle on this!" He yells his face getting redder by each passing second. "You said she backed off." He looks at me and I can see the sorrow and worry in his eyes that I might run because of this, run from _him_. _I'm not, Christian. Trust me._ I try to tell him with my eyes but I can see the anxiety written all over him.

Taylor clears his throat and looks at me. "She had. We believe that she started up again when you and Miss Steele returned from Paris."

"Why didn't you know! How didn't you know?"

"She was flying under the radar, Mr. Grey. She changed her appearance. Appears she's also been in and out of Miss Steele's school."

"Good thing you're getting the fuck out of there, what kind of school just lets people in and out!" He says running his hand through his hair for the hundredth time since we found out Leila Williams was the source of the leak.

"Christian it's not a club, they don't check our IDs at the door. There's over one thousand of us that go there, it's easy if someone wants to remain inconspicuous. It's not as if sneaking into high schools is a common thing" I say.

"I'm going to fucking ruin her."

"She submitted the information under an alias." Taylor looks down at the paper in his hands. "Six from Blossom?"

"My sixth submissive" Christian mumbles. He rolls his eyes. "When she found out she was my sixth, she made the reference. So not only did she go to the press she's fucking taunting me over it! Mother fucker!"

"How did you figure it out?" I ask Taylor.

"The Nooz finally gave us all of the information they received after we threatened a civil suit. Not that they believed they could be sued for libel but they didn't want to get their hands tied up in legalities. And they knew Mr. Grey could make trouble. The IP address led us to Leila."

"This is such bullshit. What the fuck am I even paying you for?!" Christian yells.

"Christian stop, it's not his fault-"

"Not his fault!" He interrupts. "I pay them to know this shit! To keep you safe! You have a CPO for a reason Anastasia"

"He doesn't follow me into school, Christian! And somehow-" I stop. "Wait how did she get into Dr. Greene's office?"

"Like we thought, it seems she hacked the cameras. That's why the pictures are rather pixelated. They didn't come from a phone"

"And now I have to leave you alone with her running around?" He shakes his head. "No fucking way. Taylor find her. And contact Anastasia's school and let them know what the fuck they've been letting in. Please advise them that they do not want to see me in Mark's office again. Next time will not be as pleasant." Taylor leaves the room promptly leaving me alone with a rage filled Christian. "I can't believe she would do this. Vindictive bitch" he begins to pace the room back and forth and I know there isn't much I can do to calm him.

"Christian" I say getting up from the couch and standing in front of him, effectively stopping his pacing. "Baby look at me" He does what I ask and although I see his anger, I also see his love for me behind all of it. "I'll be fine" I say running my hand across his cheek. "You go… do what you have to do"

"I don't want to leave you here. Please… come with me" he begs.

"Christian I can't, I have a lot to do before I graduate"

He sighs. "I know. I just don't like this"

"Is Leila dangerous? I mean she won't hurt me… right?"

"She won't get near you, angel. It might mean that Sawyer has to come into the school with you though." I cross my arms and purse my lips at him. "Don't you even think about giving me any sass about it." He growls and I put my hands on my hips. "You don't have a say young lady"

"But-"

"You can take Sawyer or you come with me to New York. Those are your options. You're lucky I am giving you one at all." He barks at me and in this moment I know that I am no match for protective Christian.

I huff. "You're not the boss of me" I say knowing that it will rile him up.

"I am not playing around with your safety, Ana. It's not just you anymore" he says looking down at me.

"He has to lose the suit" I relent.

"Deal."

A few hours later as Christian prepares to leave much to his reluctance, I sit on the couch, my legs tucked underneath me. "I'll be receiving reports on the situation every hour on the hour." He looks back and forth between Sawyer and Taylor. "You keep my girl and our little one safe, do you understand?"

"Wait.. Taylor isn't going with you?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "I would feel better if he stayed with you."

"So both Sawyer and Taylor are going to follow me everywhere but the damn near bathroom?"

"Anastasia" he warns.

"Who's going to be with you?"

"Reynolds"

I nod as I think about the new security that Christian has brought on in the past few weeks when everything exploded. "You be safe" I say as I pull him into a hug. Reynolds enters the room and I look at him. "Take care of my man, and bring him home to me safely"

"Yes ma'am" he says with a quick nod.

"Guys give us a second" he says looking around the room. They immediately disperse and I'm left alone with this man I desperately don't want to be separated from.

"Just two days" I say. "This is so silly." I giggle as I try to swallow the tears forming.

"Two of the longest fucking days" he whispers. "While my lunatic of an ex is still out there. I'm going to be a nervous fucking wreck"

"I'll be fine."

"Exactly!" The sounds of my best friend ring through the apartment. "Everything is going to be fine"

I look to my right to see Kate coming through the room. "You called Kate?"

"I didn't want you to be alone" Christian says and I narrow my eyes at him. "Now you ladies behave"

"Yes daddddd" Kate giggles. "Oh you are one of those now!" She says sitting her bags down and flopping on the couch. "Go, we have girl time to catch up on" she says shooing him away with her hand.

I look at Kate and then back at Christian before I'm lifted in his arms. "I love you" I whisper against his neck.

"I love you too. I'll be back on Friday" I nod against his neck before I feel a kiss on my forehead, on my nose and then on my lips. In this moment, I could care less that Kate is in the room as I wrap my legs around his waist and allow his kiss to take me to new levels of bliss. _The things this man can do with his mouth. Fuck._ I pull apart and I see his pupils have dilated and I wonder if it's a mirror image of my own. "I should go before I never get out of here" he chuckles before he sets me back on my feet. I blow him a kiss as he walks backwards towards the elevator and then he's gone.

 **A/N: FYI, in this story, Leila isn't psycho in a murderous way. More just the cliche jealous, crazy ex girlfriend/submissive. But all things will come to light in the next chapter… in true high school fashion AT PROM ;)**


	16. PROM

I'm sitting in the ungodly expensive limousine that Christian rented for us to take to Prom. Kate, Elliott, Hannah and the guy from our school that asked Hannah to be his date so that she could come to our school's prom are chatting animatedly with each other. I'm trying to keep the frown from my face but I can't help it. _He promised. And he's not here._ I let my chin rest on my hand as I prop it up on the window as we drive through the dark Seattle streets trying to ignore the feeling of being a fifth wheel. My mind drifts back to last night when I found out that Christian wasn't going to be here in time.

 **Flashback:**

Kate and I are sitting on the couch deep into a 'Friends' binge while I wait for Christian to get home. He had called me when he was getting on the flight back to Seattle and I've been anxious ever since. _I can't wait to see him… and fuck the living daylights out of him_. _I certainly have missed the morning sex… and the nighttime sex… and the after school sex… Hmm no wonder I got pregnant. But most importantly, I just miss him. I miss the way he looks at me. The way he holds me in his arms after he hasn't seen me all day. The way he calls me 'angel'. The way his lips slide across mine. I've known him such a short period of time, but I feel like a part of me has been missing these last two days and I'm desperate to have him back so that I feel whole._ I feel a vibration in my lap and I'm startled from my thoughts when I see his name on the screen. My eyebrows cinch together as I see Christian's gorgeous face smiling at me. You can see a bit of my face, as I was trying to take a selfie, but since I'm much shorter, I ended up cutting off a lot of my face. We ended up getting it perfect but this one made me smile. Maybe because it's all of Christian.

"You can't already be here" I say, my skin coming alive at the thought of Christian being inside of Washington state lines. The other end is silent and I have to pull my face away from the phone to make sure that the call hadn't dropped. "Christian?"

"Ana" he finally says and even through the phone I can hear the fatigue and defeat in his voice.

"Baby, what's wrong? You sound so sad" my heart sinks at whatever it is making him sound the way he does.

"I love you so much, I'm so sorry Ana"

"For… what?"

"I'm not going to be able to get to Seattle tonight"

My scalp begins to prickle as the words sink in. _I won't be able to get to Seattle tonight. Translation I am not going to be in Seattle tomorrow._ "What do you mean? Where are you?"

"Chicago" he says simply.

"Chicago?" I ask. "Why?"

"Apparently there's a bad storm brewing, we thought we were going to be ahead of it but it started and we had to land here. I tried to get a commercial flight but nothing is flying out."

"No" I say immediately, there's nothing so important that I would want Christian to be unsafe. "You stay there. I want you safe." I get up from the couch when I realize I've attracted Kate's attention. I walk towards the kitchen and hop onto the counter, swinging my legs under me. "We both need you safe. Me and our little one" I say and I hear him sigh on the other end.

"How are you feeling?"

"Since I talked to you two hours ago? Fine, I promise. Kate and I are watching TV and we ordered pizza" I leave out the fact that Kate raided his wine cellar and grabbed a bottle. Obviously I haven't had any but she's made quite the dent.

"I want to be there. I am so sorry that I'm not"

"Christian, I know you do. I want you to be here too. But I understand. You can't control the weather. And I want you safe. Stay in Chicago. Are you in a hotel?"

"No, I'm in the terminal, I want to be on the first flight out of here"

"Christian no, go to the hotel, I know you're exhausted. Go and get naked and call me" I giggle.

"Fuck" he groans. "I can't wait to be inside of you"

"So when do they think they will let you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning maybe? But it's supposed to storm through tomorrow night." I'm silent as I know what he's trying to say. "Ana, sweetheart, I'll make it up to you"

"There's nothing to make up to me, I know you want to be here. This isn't your fault. I'll send you pictures tomorrow"

"Fuck that. You aren't sending me anything because I will be there."

I smile at his optimism even if it is only for my benefit. "I love you, baby. Just call me when you get settled in a room okay?"

"Of course, I love you too"

I hang up and hop off the counter before sitting on the couch next to Kate. "What was that about?" she asks as she takes another sip of wine.

"Is that a second bottle?" I ask staring at her and then at a seemingly full bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of us. She shrugs and I shake my head at her.

"You're unbelievable you know that?" I sigh sadly letting my head hit the back of the couch. "I don't think Christian is going to make it for prom"

"What? You're lying" she says setting her wine glass on the table a little hard and I'm not sure if it's out of drunkenness or anger that she thinks Christian is blowing prom off.

"There's a really bad storm floating around the midwest. He's stuck in Chicago. And I don't want him out travelling in bad weather."

Her face softens realizing he's not blowing me off and nods. "Are you okay?"

"Of course. It's not his fault."

"But he'll be here by tomorrow night, right?"

I shrug. "I don't know.." I trail off. "Maybe not?"

She narrows her eyes at me. "I know you've been forced into adulthood a little earlier than you anticipated and it may seem like you have to put on this brave face all the time with what's going on with the press and Christian's family and everything but.. you don't have to be so strong. Not with me. It's okay to be upset" she says staring at me.

My lip trembles and I feel a tear moving down my face. "He's going to miss my senior prom. He's not going to be there" I say sadly.

"I'm sorry, Ana" she says wrapping an arm around me. "But just think... you're going to have a whole lifetime together. And in a few months you'll be in another gorgeous dress and there will be a band and dancing and cake and it'll be WAY better than some silly prom"

I look up at her my eyes narrowing in confusion before they widen when realization dawns on me. _My wedding. I'm getting married… to Christian Grey. I'm going to be Mrs. Anastasia Grey._ The thought brings a smile to my face so fast I forget all about the blue dress in my closet upstairs and remember the white one that's currently being custom made in France by none other than Vera Wang.

 **End Flashback**

I can't stop the smile moving across my face, despite the fact that I'm in on my way to prom without a date, _without Christian._ I feel my phone come to life in my hands and I smile when I see his message. He's been texting me nonstop since he alerted me this afternoon that he was in fact still in Chicago.

 **El sent me pictures. You look delicious.**

Christian demanded that we take a million pictures before we left and by we, I mean.. Me. Alone. My mom also came and I swear between her and Elliott they took two hundred between them.

 _ **Come eat me then.**_

 **Fuck. I wish I could. I would lick you dry.**

 _ **Soon, thank God. I can't wait to see you**_

 **Me too baby, I'm dying to touch you. Send me another picture.**

 _ **Don't you have enough of me in this dress?**_

 **Of your pretty face.**

I roll my eyes before holding my phone up and puckering my lips at the camera and snapping a picture.

 **Gorgeous. You are so incredible, Ana.**

"I see you over there beaming, Steele." I hear Kate from the other side of the limousine.

"Is that my douchebag brother?" Elliott interjects as he nods at my phone. "He get my pics?"

I blush at having been caught taking a selfie. "Yes thanks Elliott" I giggle.

"No prob, sis. Christian made me swear I would basically follow you around all night taking pictures of you. Just call me your personal paparazzi"

"Oh God. No." I say shaking my head. "You and Kate have fun, I'll be fine" _Especially since with Christian not being there, Sawyer and Taylor would both be inside of the venue much to my annoyance. I tried to argue with Christian, but he was not having it. "I am not there to protect you, and evidently Leila is able to get around unnoticed, they go in with you or you aren't going at all, Anastasia I mean it." I knew better than to argue. That was one fight I was not going to win._

I'm walking behind the two couples, my two best friends, one with the love of her life and the other with her love of the night. I feel the presence of my security behind me and despite the fact that I am surrounded by people I feel utterly alone. _Well with the exception of my new little sidekick._ I smile to myself as I rub my stomach, that's hidden safely under a layer of gorgeous material. I'm not showing yet but with the whole world knowing I feel like I'm nine months pregnant at times. I see a bright light flash in my direction and then Sawyer and Taylor are at my side guiding me on each side. "C'mon, Ana. We need to get you inside"

"Who- who was that?"

"Fucking vultures. Sawyer, alert Mr. Grey." Taylor says as we are moving quickly through the front of the venue where we are having our prom.

"Is that necessary? He's just going to panic" I say turning my head towards Taylor giving him a pleading look.

"He'll panic either way when he gets that Google alert" he says giving me a look as he guides me through the lobby. I hear him continuing to talk but I'm in awe as I look around the lobby. There are twinkling lights hanging from the ceiling giving the room an almost magical vibe. I smile immediately, feeling euphoria washing over me. _This is it. The quintessential end of high school. Make the best of it, Ana._ I move through the double doors entering the main ballroom and I feel all of the air leave my lungs immediately. My feet are rooted to the ground as I look around. There are millions of lights hanging from the ceiling. _They really took this "Under the Stars" theme literally didn't they? The room is illuminated by hundreds of tea lights everywhere giving the room a whimsical, intimate vibe._ I pick up the front of my dress as I move through the room as the faint beginnings of a familiar Sia song comes through the speakers. I'm on the move to look for Kate and Hannah and I almost don't even notice that people's heads pass as I walk by. For a split second, I wonder if it's because of this unbelievable dress and then I realize it's because of what's under it. Kate and I make eye contact from across the room and then she's moving towards me.

"Where did you go? I turned around and you were gone"

"I don't need a babysitter, Kate. Enjoy your prom" I smile. _And I mean it. I don't need to be entertained._

"Ana!" I hear from next to me and I turn my head to see three girls from the cheer squad moving towards me. Three girls that haven't exactly been the most gracious upon hearing about my "situation"

"Let's go, Ana. Ignore them" Kate says immediately pulling me towards our table.

"Told you it was all a scheme, guys. Was it all a cry for attention?" The blonde ringleader says, Stacy Robertson. _Bitch._

"I'm just curious how you did it? How did you get that… _God_ to sleep with you? Or are you even really pregnant?" One chimes in and I can't stop my blood from boiling at that comment.

"I thought he was coming to prom with you?" The third asks.

"Where is he, Ana?" Stacy says. She rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. "Did he realize he had better things to do with his time then to accompany some mousy little thing to prom?"

"First of all, Stacy I don't owe you any explanations. But he was called out of town on business. I guess that's something that comes with being with a master of the universe you know?" I say. I take a step forward towards her. "And not only does he sleep with me Stacy, he fucks me in ways you couldn't imagine. He's explored every inch of my body in such a way it would make you speechless. And he _loves_ it. I am more than aware of the fact that man is in fact a God. Truth is, you'll _never_ know" I wink before shooting her a wave. "Bye now!" I turn around and look at her. "Oh and Stace?" I say, her glare getting more harsh. "I am really proud of you for your dress choice. Not a lot of people would have the balls to wear that style with your shape. I'm glad that you're saying fuck the haters, I'll wear what I want! It's empowering! Next time though? Just lay off the tanning a little bit?" I say putting my index and thumb close together. "You're looking a little orange" I blanche as I walk away, Kate almost doubled over in laughter.

I sit at our table with a few of our friends when Taylor moves into my line of sight. I am grateful that he doesn't approach me but just gives me a look. I think he's asking if I'm okay, having witnessed my less than pleasant interaction with Stacy and her army of skanks. I nod and he nods back. He points behind me and I turn my head seeing Sawyer behind me about twenty five feet away. I turn back around giving him a thumbs up and I smile.

"Let's go get cake" Hannah says as she pulls me to my feet. We start making our way over when I hear it. "It's always the ones you'd never expect" followed by a table of laughter. I look over to see a few guys from the football team. _I am so sick of these guys. They've made more than a few cracks over the past week and I'm fed up._

"Ignore them, let's go" Hannah says pulling on my arm.

"No." I say as I walk towards the table. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"Nope" one of the guys, Tyler Martinson says. _Funny, Tyler and I used to be friendly in the beginning of the year, and I'm fairly certain I'm single-handedly the reason he's passing AP World History as his eyes have found my paper on more than a few pop quizzes._ "What did I ever do to you, Tyler? Except be the reason you're graduating. Wait… is this because I turned you down when you asked me out earlier this year? Yeah sorry… as you can see, I only date real men" I smile as I walk off tossing my hair over my shoulder. _Oh man, I'm pissing everyone off tonight. And it feels great. Good riddance, high school._

"You're two for two" I hear behind me and I see Kate sipping a red liquid out of a stemless wine goblet.

"Oh great, I'm thirsty" I say as I reach for her cup when she pulls it out of reach.

"Oh no no no no, this is spiked" she says putting her hand out to stop me from coming closer.

"What?!" I exclaim as I sniff her cup. The punch is spiked!?" I say looking at the bowl in front of me.

"Keep your voice down will ya!? And no, Elliott brought a flask" she says taking a sip of her drink.

"Remind me to sniff everything before I drink it" I say rolling my eyes. I pick up some cake and my punch and walk back towards the table.

"Are you just going to sit there all night?" Kate says as she looks down on me with her hands on her hips, having just downed her "special" punch.

My mouth full of vanilla on vanilla cake I tell her. "Gimme a break will ya? Can I have cake in peace?"

"El, tell Ana we have to go dance"

"Come on, Ace, Christian won't want you just sitting here all night"

I look at him curiously. "Ace?"

He smacks his forehead and I wonder if it's something bad. "I only call you that to Christian"

"What does it mean?"

"It just kinda stuck… but what is an Ace in a deck of cards?"

"I don't know the highest card?" I shrug. "Or sometimes the lowest depending on the game"

"It's the highest rank. Number one, the best… you know what I mean? I don't know. Your initials together kind of sounds like it and it just kinda stuck one day"

I smile. "I like it. I didn't know you called me that. Does Christian call me that too?"

"No. That is strictly reserved for me as your favorite big brother" he says wrapping an arm around me. "He calls you a slew of other sappy shit. But no not, Ace"

I finish my cake and I decide to move to the dance floor. Kate and Hannah have been so sweet at not making me feel left out but even I know what is going to happen when the music slows down. I hear the first few beats of Adele and I look around as everyone seems to be paired off. _Ooookay time to make an exit._ I see Kate try to pull out of Elliott's arms and I shake my head and put my hands out telling her to stop. _Stay._ I mouth at her and she smiles before blowing me a kiss. I smile before I leave the dance floor and make my way to the bathroom. I make eye contact with Taylor and point towards the exit. I feel him and Sawyer behind me as I'm walking. I turn to make eye contact with them. "I'll be back" They nod as I head into the bathroom. I sigh and roll my eyes as I see the girl in the bathroom. _Can I just have a minute alone please?_ I look at my phone and see Christian hasn't texted in a while and I shoot him a text, praying that there was some hope he would be home sometime tonight.

"You were actually popular, Ana. It's a shame it's now tainted by this. You were a shoo- in for Prom Queen too. And now… you're just some whore that got knocked up" My mouth drops open and the tears flood my eyes. _Is that what everyone thinks about me?_ At this moment, I don't even have a comeback, I'm just hoping she will leave so I can cry in peace. "What's a multi-billionaire going to do with you? You're from two completely different worlds."

"Just go, Stacy" I bite out. "Seriously. Get the fuck out of my face" I bite out. She looks pleased with herself as she walks by.

"Oh hey, Ana?" I roll my eyes before turning around.

"Wha-" I say before I feel water soaking the front of my dress. I look down to see water dripping down the front of my dress. I look up at her in horror. My hands are shaking, the tears threatening to fall for my eyes. And I have to thank God for the life growing inside of me, because that's the only thing stopping me from tackling her to the ground and getting myself suspended a week before graduation. She saunters out and I feel all of the energy leave me as I collapse onto the couch and begin to sob into my hands. _I cry for so many reasons. My cruel classmates that I never did anything to, the water ruining my dress and most importantly Christian not being here._ I don't know how long I'm crying before I feel hands pulling me to my feet and attempting to dry me off.

"Don't cry, Ana. We'll fix it" I hear and I see Sawyer trying to dry me off with paper towels avoiding my breasts and just patting my abdomen, trying to remove the water. "Can we stick her under the electric dryer?"

"I don't know, come on, Ana…" Taylor says pulling me towards it.

"No no no" I says pushing against them. "Why is everyone being so mean to me?" My lip trembles and I know I'm seconds from losing it. "I never did anything to anyone."

"Jealousy, Ana. You're a smart girl, you know that" Sawyer says.

"Stacy threw a fucking cup of water at me"

"And you and I both know she'll be paying for that" Taylor replies.

"She ruined my dress" I say sadly.

"You're still the most beautiful girl at the Prom" Sawyer interjects

I smile at Taylor and Sawyer, two guys that have quickly become like an Uncle and big brother. "Thanks guys"

I see the door swing open and Kate comes in her face red with rage. "What did that fucking bitch do to you?" She yells coming in with Elliott right behind her.

"Nothing, it's just water"

"Just water! She better be paying for this to get cleaned."

"It's fine" I say reaching for the door handle. "It's not that noticeable right?" I say looking down to see the huge spot in the center of my dress. "Well whatever I got enough pictures and I got to look pretty for a little while"

"You still look beautiful... Gorgeous" Kate says. She grabs my hand. "Ana"

"What?"

"Stacy… she started a rumor…."

"What? In the last five minutes?"

"Well… when she saw your muscle come in after she left..." Kate trails off.

"What…" I say feeling all of the air leave my lungs. "What did she say…?"

"Ana…" Kate trails off. She winces slightly and I know what she's alluding to which makes me sick to my stomach.

"That girl is a fucking bitch, I swear high school was not this bad when I was here" Elliott says. "No one believes that"

"Everyone believes it" I say the tears welling in my eyes. "Taylor, Sawyer, I want to go. Take me home"

"No! Ana, seriously? You think anyone believes that you were doing anything in here? Come on" Kate says.

"The fact that they feel they can even insinuate or start a rumor because of everything that's going on? I'm the butt of every joke. My reputation is shattered. I'm a golddigger, a whore.. I've been called every name in the book. But I just… I didn't think I would be treated this poorly at my own senior prom" I say shaking my head. "I want to go. Now. So take me, or I call an Uber" I say to them.

"I'll come with you" Kate says.

"No. Stay, enjoy your night. For the both of us" I say with a smile and then I'm on the move through the ballroom. I hear the whispers around me as I know Sawyer and Taylor are right behind me. The tears are moving down my face rapidly and I'm just trying to get out of the venue altogether before I completely lose it but I know I am cutting it close. I'm moving through the lobby and I've crossed the threshold to the venue when I begin to sob. I wipe my eyes before I turn around to see if Sawyer and Taylor are behind me and when I do I walk right into a hard wall of something that seemingly came out of nowhere. "Sorry" I mumble when I feel the hands not leaving my body and only in that moment do I feel how right the hands feel on me.

"Angel" I hear in my ear and my eyes shoot up to meet the eyes I know I will see. I see Christian looking down at me with the saddest eyes and I look down looking at the spot on my dress and I know that my face must look terrible after all of the crying and wiping which only makes me cry harder. "I'm here, angel. I'm here" he whispers in my ear. "I'm so sorry, baby"

"I looked so much better than this" I chuckle through my tears.

"You look beautiful" he says as he wraps his arms around me. He looks behind me at Sawyer and Taylor as I press my face into his jacket, the tears still flying down my face. "Go in and deal with what the fuck happened in there. The girl that did this and that guy better be out of there before I get in there. And if he's eighteen, you let him know, he has an appointment with my fist later" he barks at them before turning to me. "Come" He says pulling me into the parking lot.

"Are we leaving?" _I am so happy that this horrible night is about to be over._

"Absolutely not. We are going back in there. But I need to be alone with you first"

"But I look-"

"Gorgeous" he finishes my sentence as we walk towards the limo. He opens the door and slides in after me. He grabs his handkerchief from his pocket and only in this moment do I realize how gorgeous he looks in his tux.

"Wow.. you look so nice. So handsome"

"Thank you, Miss Steele." He says as he begins to gently wipe the mascara that is underneath my eyes.

"But.. what are you doing here? How? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I flew out of Chicago at seven, went home and changed and came here. I'm sorry I'm late" he says rubbing my face as he continues to try and salvage the makeup.

"I can't believe you're here"

"You didn't think I'd miss our first prom do you?"

The words move me so deeply that somehow despite my huge dress I manage to get myself into his lap. I wrap my hands around his neck and breathe in his scent before bringing my lips to his. "I love you"

"I love you too" he tells me before he pulls away from our kiss much to my annoyance. "Now tell me what happened in there"

"Why? You already know"

"Yes, but they don't have all of the details because they weren't there when she threw the water at you" I look down sadly. He lifts my chin to look at him. "Hey. You don't deserve any of that shit. Your classmates are assholes"

I nod. "Yes…" I look back at the venue. "Do I really have to go back?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you can't let them win."

"I'm not. I have you. I win by default" I smile.

He looks almost shocked by my words but he smiles back and then his lips are on mine. We kiss for what feels like an eternity when he pulls back. "I want to dance with the most beautiful woman at my prom. So we have to go back in there. But we don't have to stay long okay? Please?" He pouts. "I've never been to prom"

I chuckle. "That's so cheap." _He's using himself and his lack of a real adolescence as the reason, but I know him well enough to know this is is just his ploy to get me back inside. He knows how much going to prom meant to me and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure I got the experience I was so desperate to have._

"Would an orgasm make you feel better before we went in?" He asks with a wink.

"You think you can find it underneath all this skirt?" I say patting all of the tulle surrounding the folds that are no doubt saturated with arousal for this man underneath of me.

"I could find it anywhere, Ana. It's my home" he says as he nuzzles the space behind my ear and I giggle as I feel his hand on my inner thigh. I jump as I feel his fingers tracing it delicately. Within a second I feel his hand inside my panties, touching me. "I haven't touched you in so long" he whispers in my ear. "Not going this long again, ever. Come with me next time, Anastasia. Please"

"Yes" I say letting out a breath as I feel my orgasm building as he circles my clit his finger.

"Are you going to come, angel?" I hear his voice in my ear. I'm sitting sideways across his lap, my legs stretched out on the other side of him.

"Yes.. please" I say my eyes closed, my teeth captures my bottom lip as I give into the first wave of pleasure. "Chris-tian" I groan as I feel my orgasm moving through me. His mouth finds mine capturing my moans. He groans in response as my pussy quivers around his finger and my hands find his hair. I would do anything to be able to straddle him right now, but this dress is even making this position difficult. I start to come down from the high when I feel his fingers leave my underwear. I see them come into view before they're in his mouth and he's sucking.

He does it every time he fingers me and it always has the same effect. He rubs his wet fingers against my mouth and I part my lips letting them enter and suck on them the same way he just had. "You taste so good, angel." He rubs my breasts before letting his hands drift to his abdomen. "Hi little one. Did you miss me? Mommy is wearing too much material, I can't get to you right now… but as soon as Mommy is out of this dress, you and I are going to have a little talk. You know anything you heard tonight isn't true right?" He rubs my stomach gently and I push his hands away slowly.

"I don't want to cry again" I say softly.

"I'm sorry" he says sincerely. "I hate that anyone hurt you"

"No not because of that… you know it makes me cry when you talk to our baby"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are walking through the threshold after Christian helped me get myself together and we are met with Taylor and Sawyer. "They have both been removed, sir. A teacher is taking them home." Taylor says.

"Good. You can relax a little now that I'm here and I know no one has the balls to approach her in front of me but just keep an eye out for six" He says referring to Leila and I have to admit I completely forgot about her. _We were all kind of on edge thinking maybe she'd show up here and do something crazy but so far my classmates have been the only people causing problems._ We walk through the entrance and again all eyes are on me _. I think Christian can feel the attention as well though I know he's used to it._ We haven't moved from our place in the entrance to the ballroom when I'm pulled into Christian's arms and I feel his hands on my face cupping my cheeks. His eyes are dancing playfully and I know he's doing this for the show and I have to admit I am loving it. His lips land on mine and I feel his tongue pushing through my lips in search of mine, when he finds it they begin to tangle passionately. I feel his hands in my hair, avoiding the curls in my half up, half down hairdo. I hear a throat being cleared and I see Elliott and Kate next to us smiling wildly.

"You made it" Elliott says with a huge smile.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world" he says looking at me before he places a kiss on my forehead.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him wondering if he's even had a chance to eat. He shoots me a wicked look, raising an eyebrow. "For food"! I say laughing.

"I'm only hungry for one thing, Ana." He says and despite the orgasm I had ten minutes ago I'm already feigning for him again.

"Me?" I squeak out.

He smiles. "I love when you get innocent on me" he growls in my ear. "We both know you aren't anymore. I've fucked that right out of you." He pulls me through the room. "This is a nice space. Nice decorations too… and here I thought prom was cheesy"

"It _is_ cheesy" I say laughing.

"No this is nice, right?" He asks as he pulls me onto the dance floor. The music has been slowed down once again and I'm glad that I now have someone to dance with even if it is a country song which isn't my usual cup of tea. I smile as the lyrics come fill the room speaking to me on such a deep level.

 _I give my hand to you with all my heart_

 _I can't wait to live my life with you, I can't wait to start_

 _You and I will never be apart_

 _My dreams came true because of you_

I think he feels it too because his arms tighten around me and I feel his hand stroking my back. He leans down and finds my ear, kissing it gently before finding my mouth. "I love you" he tells me and the way he's looking at me, I've completely forgotten about all of the shit that has happened earlier in the night. All that matter is this man holding me, moving me slowly around the dance floor.

 _From this moment as long as I live_

 _I will love you, I promise you this_

 _There is nothing I wouldn't give_

 _From this moment on_

"I love you too" I smile as I lean my head against his chest, thinking about how much the words apply to me and Christian.

 _You're the reason I believe in love_

 _And you're the answer to my prayers from up above_

 _All we need is just the two of us_

 _My dreams came true because of you_

"So should we be using tonight to look for songs to dance to at our wedding?" He asks and my insides tighten hearing him speak about our upcoming nuptials.

I sigh as I feel his nose tracing my cheek and I know in this moment, I've never been happier. "I can't wait" I whisper before his lips find mine again.

 _I will love you as long as I live_

 _From this moment on_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The night is going so much better than the night started. Christian hasn't left my side and it's deterred anyone from saying anything to me. _I know that I'll have to learn to handle things myself without crying, or get thicker skin but I can do that tomorrow. Tonight, I need my fiancé to shield me from the bullshit and I'm grateful it comes to him with ease. He's so protective of me and as much as I want to be strong and independent a part of me needs this from him. I've never felt so cared for and loved than when I've been with Christian and I know it'll only get more intense as I get more pregnant and give birth._ I feel his hand on my breasts and I snap my head to look at him and push his hand away, blushing red that he's touching me there in public. He chuckles. "I'm sorry, I was just seeing if you were dry"

"Oh" I laugh forgetting that I was previously drenched. "I thought you were trying to feel me up"

He leans in closer and nips my earlobe. "Should I feel you up?"

"No, behave" I say narrowing my eyes at him and pointing a finger at him. "I have to use the bathroom"

"I'm going with you" he says immediately.

"No, I'll be fine" I say. "Stacy is gone"

"And I don't trust anyone else. Let's go" he says pulling me to my feet and kissing my hand. Kate and Hannah are on the dance floor with their dates so he doesn't grab one of them to go into the actual bathroom with me. When we arrive, he peeks his head inside of the ladies room and I shoo him out before he tries to come into the stall with me. _I wouldn't put it past him._ I realize how hard going to the bathroom is going to be in this dress and I actually need someone to help me hold it. _Damn._ I twist the handle on the door to the stall a few times and pull… then I push… then I pull again but the door doesn't budge.

"What the-" I pull harder and then I push harder but still it doesn't open. "Hello?" I call through the door before I place my ear against it. "Is someone out there? I'm stuck in here!" I say knocking hard on the door. It's a floor to ceiling stall so there is no way for me to get out without opening the door. The walls and door are both thick and although the bathroom is immaculate, I am starting to feel a little claustrophobic in this stall. I feel myself starting to panic when I take a deep breath. _Okay deep breaths. Someone is going to come in eventually and then you can get out. I just wish I had my phone with me. There was definitely no one in here when I walked in.. right?_ I push hard again on the door one last time before i admit defeat and I drop the toilet seat and sit down on it.

 **CPOV**

"Mr. Grey!" I hear from the other side of me and I turn my head to see Ana's principal moving towards me.

"Mark" I say not bothering with the formalities. I turn my head back towards the door waiting for Ana to come out. I haven't seen her in two days, and being away from her right now is taking everything out of me. When I saw her coming out of the front door of the ballroom I was stopped in my tracks. She was a vision of blue, and creamy pale skin. She really did look like Cinderella and I wanted to whisk her away and live happily ever after. _God Grey, you really are a sap._ When she got closer I saw the wet spot on her dress and the distraught look across her face and I remembered that she was running. I was so distracted by her beauty that I had forgotten that the night had been a nightmare from her instead of a dream. Once I had her in my arms, I knew I couldn't let her go.

"I am sorry about what happened, we have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. I hope Ana is okay?"

"She's fine" I say.

"I was hoping that we could talk to you about something?

"We?"

"A few of the teachers and myself. It's regarding Ana"

"Well can it wait? And without her?"

"Yes, it's a surprise for her"

"A surprise?"

"Yes, at graduation"

"She hates surprises" I say shaking my head. "She won't like it. And she certainly doesn't want to be put on the spot right now. She's having a hard enough time dealing with having to get up in front of everyone and give her valedictorian speech"

"It will go hand in hand with that" he says and I have to admit I'm curious.

I sigh. "Fine, let me just get my security to stand guard" I say as I message Taylor telling him to come to the bathroom.

"Security? I can assure you Mr. Grey, the venue is secure"

"Oh, and what's to stop another one of your students from dumping water on my fiance again? Jesus the way you're running your school, I wouldn't be surprised if they just went completely _Carrie_ on her. And then you'd all be out of jobs, _indefinitely_." I say warning him. "Just because Ana is graduating, does not mean I won't have my eye on you, Victor."

He nods. "Mr. Grey, I can assure you-"

"You can't assure me of anything, Mark" I snap.

"Mr. Grey" Taylor says approaching us.

"Ana hasn't come out yet, I'll be back. Tell her I'm with her principal"

"Yes sir" he nods.

I follow him through the sea of teenagers on the precipice of adolescence when I'm met with five other teachers. They all eye me closely as if they think I'm going to snap at any moment. _I might if I don't get back to Ana soon._ "What's this about?" I say looking around the circle.

"Well, Ana is undoubtedly our most gifted and profound student that… probably any of us have seen in this school. We are extremely proud of her"

"Okay?" I say wondering if this is all for my benefit.

"We would like to award her the Distinguished Scholar award. It usually goes to the Valedictorian by default though the past few years it's gone to another student. This year it deserves to be Ana. It embodies someone with drive and hard work and passion. Someone that was a leader in school and out of school. Ana checks every box."

"Well.. I agree. She's phenomenal. In every sense of the word."

"Yes, she is. But there is one thing" he starts as he looks around the circle as if they are all afraid to say it. "Mrs. Stein read over her Valedictorian speech"

"Okay…?" I say unsure of where it's going. Ana won't let me read it, so I don't know what it says"

"It is very well written. Ana has an ear for words. It's beautiful" Mrs. Stein says and I can hear the 'but' already.

"Okay?" I say urging them to get to the point.

"It mentions you."

"I am not really surprised?" I say.

"We just… don't want to give parents the wrong impression"

The light goes off and I finally see what all of this is about. _They don't want to give this award to Ana because she's pregnant. Because of me. Fucking politics. Of course._ "Which is…?"

"We don't want it to appear like we are rewarding this type of behavior"

"What type of behavior? A straight A student that got into every Ivy League in the country?"

"Mr. Grey surely you can see the predicament that would put us in with the Parent Teacher Association board."

"I don't, actually."

"This award isn't just about schoolwork, there is also a morality clause"

"Okay well the world already knows she's pregnant so, I'm failing to see the point" I say getting angrier by the second.

"Well yes, but we don't need her drawing attention to it at graduation"

I shake my head, glaring at all of the teachers. "I'm not going to tell her that she can't mention me in her speech. I am proud that she wants to do that. If you don't want to give her an award that she so well deserves. Fine. I'm not going to tell her we had this conversation." I turn to walk away before I shake my head turning back to them. "Just so you know? What the school board says really doesn't matter if you no longer work for the school" I say giving them all an icy glare. "This was strike three" I say before I walk away towards the bathroom. _It was time for Ana and I to get the fuck out of here._

I am making my way through the crowd when I see a flash of blue in my peripheral. Not just any blue, the perfect blue. The blue on my girl. I see her walking towards the exit and I frown when I don't see Sawyer or Taylor following her. _What the fuck?_ I am on the move after her when I see her moving faster. "Ana!" I call after her. She is almost through the parking lot and I wish she would stop running while she is pregnant because it's making me fucking nervous. "ANASTASIA STOP RUNNING" I scream after her. I think it startles her because she darts out from the row of cars and it's like slow motion as I see a car slam into the side of her. _Ana. Baby. No. No. No. NO._ I am running towards her and I drop to my knees pulling her into my arms. "Ana… baby, oh my-" she is on her side facing away from me so I turn her over and my eyes widen at the woman in my arms.

"LEILA?"

The man driving the car is immediately out of it, shaking violently as the tears form in his eyes. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you, you came out of nowhere, is she okay, are you okay, are you-?"

"Call the police" I scream at him. "NOW"

"Mas-master?" Leila's eyes wide eyes gaze into mine as a small smile creeps onto her face.

"Leila Williams so help me God. What… what are you-?" I am so angry at her but given that she got hit by a car no less than twenty seconds ago I think I'll refrain from reading her the riot act at least for now. "Where is Ana?"

"She-she can't make you happy, master. I can give you a baby"

"I don't want your fucking baby, Leila" he grits out. I don't know if I should move her but I desperately need her out of my arms. "Why are you dressed like Ana? This is the second time you've done this shit"

"You could love me too" she whispers. I look over her body and I can't tell the damage based on all of the material covering her.

"No, Leila. I couldn't"

"But-"

"Sir!" I hear from behind me and I see Taylor running for me. I hope Ana isn't with him and I sigh in relief when I see she isn't. He kneels next to me and I glare at him.

"How didn't you know this was going on? Where is she?"

"Inside with Sawyer, I assume, Leila is the reason why Ana was locked in the stall for twenty minutes."

"You did what?" I say glaring at Leila my eyes are filled with rage and I hope she knows better than to lie to me.

"I just wanted to talk to you, alone. That's all. I ran out here knowing you would follow me… because you thought I was Ana. You would follow Ana anywhere." She says, her voice wavering with tears. _She's right. I would follow Ana into hell._

"What do we have to talk about? You went to the press about me.. About Ana? How fucking dare you, Leila. You hurt the woman I love, and I show no remorse for people that cross me." I move her out of my arms and I shake my head. "Why would you do that? What do you think that would solve? Did you think I would come running back to you or something? I love Ana. We are getting married and she's having my baby. _She_ is my life. You have to stop this Leila, I mean it." I bark at her. "Taylor stay with her, I need to find Ana."

"She can't make you happy, master!"

I stop in my tracks and turn to face her. "Look. You just got hit by a car so I was trying to be sensitive to that and not destroy you, but you are testing my fucking patience. You are in violation of your restraining order. So when you leave the hospital tonight? You are going to jail. When you get of jail, you are leaving the state. You don't have a choice. This obsession with me and my fiance is over. You are finished Leila Williams." I hear her calling after me but I can't stop. I even feel the emotion welling in my eyes as I think about how I felt when I thought it was Ana that got hit by the car. I stop walking, feeling like there isn't air moving into my lungs. I take a deep breath, calming the impending panic attack, reminding myself that Ana is safe inside with Sawyer. Of course I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone, but I can't help the elation that moved through me when I realized it wasn't Ana. I see Ana sitting at our table and her eyes light up when she sees me and she's on the move towards me. I meet her halfway pulling her into my arms and I'm squeezing her hard.

"Christian" she says and I hear her straining as I hug her tight. "Can't-breathe"

"Never leave me, baby. Please"

She pulls away and I see the tears in her eyes as well. "What- what's wrong?"

"I hate to cut our night short but can we go home? I need to be inside of you and I need to hold you and… I need you out of this dress" I say, squeezing my eyes shut as I will the visions of a brunette in the same dress getting hit by a car out of my mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are sitting on our couch, Ana in her usual place in my lap, her head on my shoulder. We had to stay a little bit longer as I had to give a statement when the police arrived. Leila would be fine, she suffered a broken arm and some cuts from hitting the concrete hard but other than that she was okay. And sure enough after she went to the hospital, she would be spending the evening in jail for being in violation of her restraining order against Ana. I know the system well enough to know she won't be there long, but Taylor has already started preparing her exit and I couldn't be happier that she will be out of our lives. She told Taylor after I left that she would leave, that I didn't need to crucify her and take everything like she knew I would.

"I can't believe she locked me in the bathroom." Ana says and I go rigid under her thinking about her stuck somewhere. "I knew someone would find me but… I did have a few moments of panic. And she had the nerve to wear my dress."

"You looked ten times more beautiful in it." I'm silent for a second as I think about how I want to broach the next subject. "I think I want to get you a tracker…" I say as I try and gauge her reaction.

"A what?"

"Just something you have on you at all times so that I can always find you." I say nuzzling her ear in hopes that she will just accept what is happening. "I can put it in a watch or a bracelet, but it's something that you always wear"

"I don't know about that…" she says. "Christian, I wasn't in any real danger"

"But you could be. And seeing Leila… I died a thousand deaths seeing her get hit by that car. Thinking it was you" I whisper and I feel the tears glossing over my eyes. "I know she's fine, but... what if that had been you? You and our baby… and I couldn't protect you?"

"Shhh" she tells me letting her forehead rest against mine. "I'm okay, I'm fine. And you do protect me. That's why it wasn't me. I was safe with Sawyer and Taylor." She runs her hand down my face before she kisses me gently. "If this will make you feel better, then I'll do it. I'll get a tracker." I let out a breath. _Good because it was happening whether you wanted it to or not._ "I don't know why you're acting relieved, you were going to make me get one regardless" Ana giggles and I smile knowing that she's just read my mind. "I'm glad she's okay. I… know I should hate her but I would feel bad if something really bad happened to her. She never physically hurt me"

"She'll be okay. And soon she'll be on a flight out of Seattle and out of our lives forever"

"What if she comes back?" Ana asks her blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"She won't if she knows what's good for her"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning, I'm awake, showered and dressed before Ana is even awake. I kiss her forehead and whisper an 'I love you' before I slip out the door and down the stairs. I grab my keys and enter the elevator, meeting Taylor at the garage.

"Where to, sir?"

"Ana's parent's house. It's time we got everything out in the open"

We pull up to the house where Ana grew up and I sigh as I'm worried about how this is going to go. Her mother has seemed to come around but her father has been less than supportive. He and Ana have barely spoke since we got back from Paris. When she calls, he gives her one word answers and rarely asks how she's doing. At this point, she's worried he may not even come to graduation. _Hence why I'm here. I'm trying to bridge the gap a little and open the lines of communication, but he's got to meet me halfway. And if he doesn't show up for Ana's graduation so help me, I'll be giving him a piece of my mind. Father in law or not. Ana wants him to walk her down the aisle and he's not even speaking to her._

I stand in front of their house and I ring the doorbell. Carla answers the door and gives me a small smile. "Come on in, Christian. I just made some coffee"

"Thank you" I say stepping through the door. I had called her this morning to see if now was a good time for me to come over and speak with them both about a few things. I walk into the dining room to see Ray staring at me from the head of the table. "Mr. Steele"

"Christian" he says simply.

"You look well, how are you feeling?"

"Good. Thank you" And I wonder if he's saying thank you for asking or thank you for convincing my family to get a second opinion which led to my road to remission. _Unsure._

"Christian, sit down" Carla says pointing at the seat across from her at the table. "How is Ana? She told me you ended up making it last night. I know she was so happy to see you"

"She looked beautiful." I smile choosing to leave out the Leila drama. "I think she had fun. I think it was a pretty magical night."

"Good"

"Well I came here to… ask for Ana's hand." I say looking at Ray. "I planned to come to you first and then… things changed. We weren't going to announce anything until after she graduated, which you know. I wasn't expecting to have to hold a press conference after pictures were leaked" I lower my head feeling completely defeated as the eyes of the woman I love are on me. "I know that how we started was not… what you would have hoped for your daughter. But I hope that you can see how much I love her… more than anything. I will take care of her, and our baby… all of our babies. I know that I probably should have walked away from her and if I were a better man I probably would have. But I wasn't… not until I met Ana. She made me a better man.. A better person."

Ray narrows his eyes at me before looking at Carla and then back at me. Carla who went from the Ice Queen to Glinda the Good Witch looks at me with tears in her eyes before turning back to Ray. "Ray"

"I've hurt her so much… She'll never forgive me" Ray says clearing his throat.

"Of course she will" I say.

"I threw her out… I threw you out… I'm sorry, Christian. I should have seen that you loved my daughter and that you would never hurt her. I just saw my baby… pregnant and I thought you would leave her. I thought you would hurt her and it would destroy her because I saw the way she looked at you."

"Never" I say interrupting him.

"I know that now. I know she is young but.. You will never let her give up on her dreams and I respect the hell out of you for that. I am glad she is still going to go to college and fulfill her dreams"

"I would never stop her from doing that. I don't want her to give up anything"

"Good." He stands up and puts his hand out for me to shake. "Welcome to the family, Christian. I know it took us a while to get here. But… we're happy to have you" He smiles as he walks towards the kitchen. "And you know I'm going to get just a little bit of satisfaction over the fact that if you have a daughter... I get to watch her do this to you and you'll see how it feels." He chuckles before he leaves the room leaving me wracked with terror. _Absolutely not. Fuck no. I wouldn't let my daughter within 20 feet of a guy like me. No no no._ I look up from the table and stare after my future father in law and for the first time I see it. _It was never about me. Whether or not he liked me was irrelevant. It was about her. I get it._ _Because I'm a father now too._

 **A/N: Epilogue up next!**


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

I sit down on the bed and take in the sleeping form of the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. She's deliciously naked, us having spent most of the night making love. Her lips are still slightly swollen and her hair is a mass of wild brown curls. She turns over and reaches for my pillow and sighs as she buries her face in it no doubt comforted by my scent. I let my mind drift to the first time I ever saw her, standing in front of that club. Who would have thought that we'd be here almost eight months later. Engaged with a baby on the way. _Speaking of engagements. I can't wait to ask her properly. Tonight._ I smile as I think about the fact that in two short months she'll be Mrs. Christian Grey. The thought sends a spark to both my heart and my dick. I run my hand through her hair before placing a kiss on her shoulder. "It's time to get up, Angel" I say before I begin to pepper kisses up her shoulder and towards her neck. She smiles, her eyes still closed and shakes her head.

"Too early"

"I know but it's graduation day" I smile when she opens one eye followed by the other. She sits up slowly, wrapping the sheet around her naked body. I feel my pants tightening as I think about what's under the sheet before I shake my head.

"What time is it?" She asks, blinking her eyes several times as she tries to chase the sleep away.

"Seven thirty"

She groans before falling back down. "Why are you waking me up! I don't even have to be at the park until ten thirty!"

"Because everyone will be here at nine" I say as I rip the sheet from her body.

She squeals at the lost off the sheet and I lick my lips as my eyes roam her body. _No Christian, not now. This is precisely why you got up and showered and got dressed already._ "Who is coming?" She asks before she throws a hand over her eyes in the attempt to shield the light from them.

"Your parents for one, Kate and Elliot and Mia. I don't particularly want my parents here, but they wish you congratulations and they want to talk to us at some point over the next few weeks" _And they did. My parents have been doing everything they can to try and make amends for how they treated Ana but neither her nor I are ready to talk to them yet._

She nods before she removes her arm from her eyes and looks up at me giving me a devilish look. "Come back to bed" she says putting her arms out and wiggling her fingers.

"No, Ana. You need to get up. Gail made French Toast."

"We have at least twenty minutes" she smiles wickedly as she spreads her legs and runs her index finger through her folds.

I squeeze my eyes shut trying to will my dick that just shot to the roof to go down. "No we don't. I don't want to have to tell your father that the reason we're running late is because we were too busy having sex"

"Uh hello" she says pointing at her stomach. "It's not like he doesn't know. Cat's already out of the bag" I narrow my eyes at her and she narrows hers back. "Come on, it's my graduation day. Please" she pouts before she crawls over to me and plants her naked form in my lap. I feel her lips at my neck and I'm a goner. "God you smell so good" _Fuck._

"Twenty minutes, Anastasia"

"Mmmm yeah right" she giggles as she pulls me on top of her

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _I haven't taken my eyes off of her since she sat down. In the sea of blue caps and gowns, I'd know my Angel anywhere. She must feel me, just as I feel her, because our eyes have met at least a dozen times during the commencement. Halfway through the speech before hers, I see her teachers- well some of her teachers escort her to the stage. A few of her teachers, including the principal have been removed effective immediately. I'm not going to say that I had anything to do with the PTA uproar regarding the harassment of a student, but I'm not going to say I didn't have anything to do with it. I hope those that lost their jobs took this as a learning experience. Heed warnings when necessary. Don't fuck with a man who loves his woman more than life. I watch her make her way towards the stairs and she smiles at me._ Carla turns to me. "Have you heard her speech?"

"No" I shake my head. "She wouldn't let me read it." She smiles at me before turning her gaze to the stage. I do the same and stare at the mother of my child in awe as she waves at someone in the mass of students. She looks out into the crowd before she starts speaking.

"We never thought this day would come. We prayed for it's quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes and seconds and now that it's here… it's scary, right? Because you realize that not only will you miss the people you love- friends and teachers, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way ever again. But it doesn't have to be scary, because now is the time for us to shine. The time when our dreams are within reach and the possibilities are endless. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives. My advice to you is to do what you love and do it often. Open your mind, arms and heart to new things and people because we are united in our differences. Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Don't be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace the unknown and let your life surprise you. To my parents, thank you for being my biggest supporters, my number one fans, for being in my corner… even when I thought you weren't. To my friends, thank you for being the family that I chose for myself, promise me you won't forget our laughs, our jokes, our smiles, our conversations, our experiences. Even if we are apart, I will always be with you. To my fiance, Christian thank you for being the best surprise of my life. You changed my life in the blink of an eye, and I'm eternally grateful that the universe brought you to me and I can't wait to take on this next chapter of my life with you by my side. Today is the beginning of a new chapter for all of us, so let's make something happen because they say those that are crazy enough to believe that they can change the world, are the ones that do. Congratulations to the class of 2017! We did it!"

 _She's incredible._ I clear my throat, as I try to remove the emotion building having heard Ana talk about me to her entire student body. I watch most of the students in the crowd move to their feet and cheer. After a few minutes, the students start throwing their caps in the air before I see Ana giggle and follow suit. I know in this moment I have never been more proud of her. The commencement ceremony ends and we are waiting for Ana when I hear my name being called and my girl is moving towards me. I move towards her and somewhat out of sight range of her parents, allowing me a moment alone with her. I pull her into my arms, lifting her slightly off the ground.

"Angel, your speech was amazing" I say as I bring my mouth to hers and kiss her with everything in me. _People around me be damned, I want her to know how proud I am of her. How much I love her. How much I can't wait to start my life with her._ After a few moments of a semi indecent kiss, we pull away her eyes full of lust and desire, which are a reflection of mine. I smile at her before mouthing " _later"._ I rub my nose against hers before planting another short kiss on her lips. "You were the best surprise of my life too, Ana" I say before I set her down. "I am so proud of you"

"Thank you, you have no idea what that means to me" she smiles, looking up at me. Our alone time is cut short as her parents find her and shower her with affection and praise. Elliot and Mia move on each side of me as we stare at the three of them interacting. Kate hadn't exactly told her parents about Elliot yet, so he sat with us under the illusion that he- like Mia was here to support Ana, their future sister in law.

"You are one lucky guy, Christian" Elliot says, nudging my shoulder. "Your girl is one of a kind"

"Don't I know it" I smile.

"You know you have me to thank for meeting her" he says shooting me a smug grin and I roll my eyes thinking about Ana at that club the first night looking for Kate who was Elliot's submissive at the time. _They've come quite far since then, I wouldn't be surprised if they married within the next year or so as well._ "So are you ready?"

"Yeah, just a little nervous"

"Why? She's already said yes"

"I know, but still. I want it to be perfect"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a full day of celebrating with her family, Ana and I are in the elevator heading back upstairs. Ana is having a graduation party the following week, with her extended family as well as her friends so she wanted to keep things low key today. I already gave Ana the Cartier Love Bracelet that I got her for graduation, but there's still the matter of the brand new silver Audi A3 in the garage hidden underneath the bright red bow. _Maybe tomorrow, after a few orgasms she'll be receptive to a new car._ I feel her hands rubbing against my cock as she mewls against my chest.

I box her against the wall, pulling her hands above her head. "My Angel is horny" I growl in her ear before I take it between my teeth.

"God yes, I need you" she whispers as she tries to rub herself against me.

"Just be patient, I promise tonight you are getting fucked like you never have before"

Her eyes light up at my sinful promise and a smile crosses her face. "I like the sound of that"

The elevator dings and we walk out and Ana, being in front of me stops in her tracks when she sees the scene in front of her. Every inch of the foyer leading to the living room is covered in flowers and candles. I hear her gasp before she turns around to look at me, tears flooding her eyes. "What is all this?"

I smile at her before cocking my head to the side as if to say _you really don't know?_ I lower myself to one knee before I take her hand in mine and kiss it gently. "I know I've already done this once, but you deserve so much better than that. And I know you already have the ring on your finger... I was even tempted to buy you another one, but I thought you would have had a fit." She giggles and shakes her head. I stop laughing with her and launch into the words I've been wanting to say to her. "What would I have done if I never met you, Ana? Would I just be stuck living this boring, unfulfilling life? You have brought so much meaning to it that I can't imagine it without you. I never.. ever want to be without you. And although I have no idea what the future is going to bring us, I know that we can take on anything together. You and me. Forever. I love you more than anything in the world and I am so glad you came into my life. And though I think I know your answer, I have to ask again… will you marry me?"

"Yes yes yes a million times yes." She says as I stand up and she launches herself into my arms. "You could ask me everyday till the end of time, my answer will never change. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life" she says before she kisses me, hard. _I am the luckiest man alive._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm staring at the incredible young woman gliding across the stage and I'm in awe. I can't believe she ever thought that this wasn't for her, she was made for this. All of her hard work and dedication over the past 18 years have led her to become an extraordinary ballerina and I'm unbelievably proud of her. Juilliard is lucky to have her. She moves through the air effortlessly, as if she's floating and she glows as if she's illuminated by the sun. I look to my right and notice the woman next to me, the tears pouring from her eyes and I smile. I guess she's moved too. I look to my left and see Kate and Elliot their eyes glued to the stage when I catch Kate's glance and she smiles before leaning in to whisper, "she's a superstar" before wiping a tear from her eye. I nod at her before turning back to the stage as she dances her final few moments. This is my girls third performance in two days and my third time seeing her, I might know this routine as well as she does at this point.

We are waiting for her to come out when I see Carla heading over. "She's marvelous!" Carla says with at least two dozen roses in her hand. I roll my eyes at her, _always her biggest fan._

"Where were you sitting?" Kate asks.

"My usual spot. Stage left, second row. It's where I always sit"

"Where's Ray?" I ask wondering where my father in law is.

"Bathroom" Carla says waving me off as she's searching the crowd for who we are looking for. I smile when I think about how close we were to not having him in our lives. After we found out, Ray had been misdiagnosed and was only entering stage 2, he fought. _Hard. And won_. After Ana and Carla wore him down and made him get chemotherapy, he kicked cancers ass. Within a year he was in remission. The hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up as they always do when I feel her presence and I turn to see her walking towards me, with a taller brunette in tow. Ana's eyes are red as if she's been crying and before I can think the taller brunette is in my arms.

"Dad!" I hear. "I can't believe you're here again!"

I pull back to look at my beautiful daughter, Phoebe before turning to look at Anastasia Grey, her mother and I smile at them both. "You were incredible, sweetheart!"

She scrunches her nose. "I missed a beat on my ronde de jambe in the second chorus"

"I told her no one noticed" Ana says looking at her.

"You noticed"

"I notice everything" Ana giggles and even 18 years later it sends a jolt straight to my dick.

This could go on for a minute so I interject "Grandma and Papa are coming again tonight by the way."

"They've already come twice, I only expect this one to be here for every show" she laughs pointing at Ana with a slight eye roll. _I know she jokes but she'd lose her shit if Ana weren't here._

 _Ana- the stage mom from heaven as Phoebe calls her, never pushed her into ballet and never criticized her like so many dance moms do. She was supportive and loving and helped Phoebe pursue her dreams without pushing hers on her. Ballet wasn't for Ana but it was everything for Phoebe and once we all realized that, she was a force to be reckoned with. I tear up thinking about my oldest daughter leaving the nest in two short months to go to Juilliard to study dance and I feel Ana's hand in mine squeezing as Phoebe goes to talk to Kate and Carla- her other biggest fans. We named Kate and Elliott who married a few years after Ana and I, Phoebe's godparents the second she was out of Ana and they assumed the roles amazingly._

"She's going to be fine" Ana whispers at me and I pull her into my arms.

"That's our baby" I say sadly. "God I remember when we found out you were pregnant… I remember every second of the day she was born. Can you believe that was eighteen years ago?"

"It feels like yesterday" Ana sighs and to be honest, it does. "But you've got two more at home to harass for a few more years don't worry"

I chuckle thinking about my 15 year old son, Teddy and my 11 year old daughter, Charlotte. "I don't even want to know what Teddy is doing." He shakes his head. "Patrick says he ditched him again yesterday"

"He's up to no good, Christian" Ana says and I can already see the steam coming out of her ears. _Better start running, Teddy._ Ana was usually the softie but there were a few times that even they came to me fearing the wrath of Ana. I chuckle. _Okay not that bad. Ana has been the most amazing mother to our three children and I haven't totally ruled out the thought of having a fourth. Despite being pregnant for the first semester of college, Ana knocked it out of the park pulling a 4.0 despite her morning sickness, doctors appointments and being nine months pregnant during finals. Phoebe was a Christmas baby, so Ana was studying for finals while she was preparing to give birth. Ana accelerated through the next three years, graduating a year early all while having a child. She swears she couldn't have done it without me or our parents but I disagree. Ana has the drive and ambition to do anything. She could have handled it beautifully even without help. By the time, Ana graduated college, Phoebe was three and soon after, she was pregnant with Teddy. We were super careful not to get pregnant while she was in college, but the second she walked across that stage I was balls deep inside of her determined to have my child inside of her again._ My thoughts are brought to a halt when I feel Ana tense next to me and I happen to catch movement in my peripheral. I look at my wife who's looking at me with wide eyes before she catches my face effectively stopping me from looking at what's behind me. "Kiss me" she says wrapping her arms around me and normally I would be all over that invitation but I know there's something behind me she doesn't want me to see.

"Nice try, angel" I say to her before I turn around to see my daughter, with some boy's hands all. over. her. _What the fuck is this?_

"Baby" she says putting her hand on my arm, holding me in place.

"What" I grit out. "Who is that?"

"Christian, calm down."

I look at her, my brows furrowing. "Is that her… is he… does she have…?"

"They are just friends"

"Bullshit" I growl. _I am not stupid. That's her fucking boyfriend. Did Ana know about this? I am so taking her over my knee when we get home if she kept this from me._

"Christian… she's going to bring him over for dinner tonight, okay? I need you to be calm"

"I am calm" I bark and Ana responds with a sexy eye roll. _Watch it young lady. Okay wait Christian focus. Don't let Ana distract you_. "Who the fuck is that with his hands all over my baby?"

"I've been waiting for this moment, and oh is it even better than I imagined" I hear from behind me when I feel my father in law's hand on my shoulder. "How ya feelin, son?"

"I'm going to kill him." I say as I feel my heart start to race at anyone violating my little princess.

"Imagine if he knocked her up at eighteen" Ray says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Oooookay, Dad, can we not use the phrase 'knocked up' like right now? Actually can we just not talk about me at all?" Ana says as she rubs her forehead

"I'm just saying, this revenge is just oh so sweet" he chuckles.

"So you're not going to come over there with me to break up that little lovefest?"

"Oh no I'm coming too" Ray says. "I just wanted to take a minute to discuss the irony"

"Well we can discuss it later, right now we need to go take that little knucklehead's hands off my daughter"

"Who's that all over Phoebe?" Elliot asks as he approaches us and I know he'll be on my side regarding this as well.

"Can you not poke the bear!?" Ana says stomping her foot.

"A boyfriend or something… Ana doesn't want me to go over there" I say.

"No Ana does not!" my wife exclaims.

I'm stopped from going towards them when Phoebe makes her way over to us, by herself. "What?" She asks as we are all staring at her.

I see Ana making a face at her making me wonder how much Ana has known about this. "Do you have a boyfriend, Phoebe Grace Grey?" I blurt out and she looks around the circle at all of the eyes on her.

"He's not my boyfriend. And mind you, I'm eighteen"

"She's got a point" Ray says as he scratches his beard and I can see the smugness written all over his face.

"Who's side are you on?" I ask? Ray and I have gotten very close over the years. I truly am the son he never had, so I know he's just pulling my leg but I wish we could be somewhat united in front of Phoebe.

"The father's side of course, but I _think…_ I think... I've seen this scenario like once before? I think I've even heard the 'I'm eighteen' thing? You know… it must have been some movie Carla was watching on TV." He says crossing his arms in front of him still sporting the most smug grin.

Ana giggles next to me and I shoot her a look. "What? He's funny!"

"Can we just talk about this at home?" Phoebe sighs and I huff in frustration.

"Fine." She kisses my cheek before she skips away and Ray looks at me.

"It's like looking in the window to the past. I remember it like it was yesterday. Sucks doesn't it?" he says patting my back as we start to walk towards the exit.

"Little bit"

"Hey, look, Ana turned out fine. And that's her mini- me." He says pointing at Phoebe. She's got a good head on her shoulders, just like Ana did. And they were just talking. Talk to me when you find them making out in his car in front of your house and then within a month she is moving in with him"

"Best decisions I ever made thank you very much" I hear from the other side of me and I wrap my arm around my wife before kissing her temple.

We are walking towards the car, Phoebe between Ana and myself, like we have done a million times in the past.

"Do you know how proud we are of you?" Ana asks as she laces her hands with Phoebe's. "You are… an extraordinary young woman. We were so lucky to have you"

"Mom don't start, I'm not leaving for school yet!" she says and I know that she is close to tears as she always is when Ana talks about Phoebe's early years. _Phoebe knows probably more than she should about what came before her thanks to the goddamn internet. I'll never forget when she came to us in tears as she had read some old articles of what they had called her mother. What they were saying about us both._

"I'm serious. You came to us in a period of our lives where there was so much chaos and you quieted the storm. You brought everyone together. _Between the press and my parents and even Ray for a while, things were hectic and then suddenly there was a beautiful pink bundle in our arms and everyone was in love._ "We are going to miss you so much"

"I'm going to miss you both too. You've been… the best parents anyone could ever ask for. The best people I know" she smiles as she stops in her tracks and looks at us. "I love you both as much as I know you have always loved me"

"We've loved you since the second we learned about you in Paris" I tell her.

"I'm going to be fine" she says and I see the tears forming in Ana's eyes.

"Promise you'll visit?" Ana asks.

"Of course I will, all the time. You won't be able to get rid of me. And I'll beg you guys to come visit too" Phoebe says

"You won't have to beg, we'll be on the next flight out" I say knowing how much I'll hate that my daughter will be across the country. She nods and we continue our walk back to the car. "So Phoebe Grace…" I start. "Tell me about this boy you're bringing to dinner…."

 **A/N: Down the Rabbit Hole is Complete! I seriously have such a soft spot for this story because it was kind of like my gateway story in a way. All I had known was College Neighbors and I stepped completely out of my comfort zone and explored this very different relationship between A &C. Without DTRH I don't think Confused in Love, Sweet Child O' Mine or The Expensive Charlatan would have happened. (Life After Harvard was probably inevitable) Thank you, thank you, thank you Diamond Child for the initial push to write this! I wouldn't be writing ALLLL of these stories without your constant encouragement... (jury is still out on whether this is a good or bad thing ;)) And thank you to everyone that took a chance on a new story by the writer that wrote that one where they just got drunk all the time at Harvard haha! :)**

 **Xoxo**

 **QueenBee03**


	18. Outtake: Mrs Grey Wants to Play

**A/N: Hi! Remember this one? :) A few months ago, someone asked me if I would ever consider writing a story/chapter/scene where Ana doms for Christian. This is the only story where I really explored BDSM so I figured I could slide the scene in here!**

 **So here we are! Happy Birthday, Cindy! (Sorry we are a day late!)**

* * *

 _ **C POV: January**_

I slow to a stop in front of Escala, my mind and heart battling over what is racing faster. I'd pushed myself particularly hard the last mile, and I think even Taylor struggled to keep up. But I needed to keep going. I needed the pain in my lungs. The burning sensation all over as I struggled to get the oxygen into my lungs. I begin to pace in front of the entrance as Taylor appears, looking equally winded.

"Sir." He says tersely in between breaths. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Taylor."

He narrows his eyes slightly. "You were sprinting."

"Your point?"

"No point, sir. Just an observation."

We make our way into Escala and into my private elevator leading us upstairs. I wonder if Ana is awake, even though it's five am and our new little princess usually sleeps well past 7 am.

It's been three weeks since we welcomed our daughter and I have never been so in love with my wife or my precious little girl. _But, I missed my wife. I missed the connection that brought us the new life in the first place._ We are four weeks through our six week period of no sex and my cock is literally aching for a taste of her pussy.

I move up the stairs two at a time needing to hold my wife in my arms even if she is asleep. Ana and I got married four months ago, halfway through Ana's pregnancy and I swear we spent the next four months leading up until she gave birth consummating our marriage.

If she wasn't already pregnant she would have been after the two weeks we spent in Europe my cock buried inside of her.

I walk into our bedroom to find my wife sleeping soundly, her hair splayed all over my pillow as she's gravitated to my side of the bed. She's buried her face in my pillow, assumedly trying to find my scent. She moans slightly, her lips part, her tongue peeking out between her lips and immediately I want to rub my cock against it.

I sigh, wishing that she was awake, my body craving the intimacy that Ana and I have, her mouth and that warm hand of hers wrapped around me as her pussy is currently out of commission. I make my way into the shower, stepping under the scalding hot temperatures as my hand grips my dick.

Since the baby was born, I've spent more time at home with Ana and Phoebe. _Christian Grey on paternity leave, who would have thought?_

I still went into the office, but certainly not everyday which is evidently how I ended up in this predicament. My recent acquisition of _Blair Industries_ has been halted due to "not enough face time with the CEO of GEH." _Don't they know I just had a baby?_ Nevertheless, the CEO feels that I'm not serious.

Bullshit, it's just another asshole old man, threatened by a twenty four year old that can do said old mans job better.

 _Well fuck that._ But this is why I'm forced into the office today, when all I want to do is cuddle up next to my wife and daughter.

This past week has been almost hell, going into the office everyday and coming home well after Phoebe has gone to bed meaning I haven't had any time with her in the last few days. And even less time with her mother who's been asleep by the time I got home.

Yesterday morning I was roused from sleep by Ana's mouth wrapped around my cock, deep throating me and I came almost instantly, as she seemingly sucked the stress out of me. Less than two hours later, the stress was back in full force the second I stepped back on GEH soil.

 _I was over this._

My hand finds my cock, knowing that I won't have time to fool around with Ana this morning. _Fuck. Let me inside, baby._ My mind screams as a vision of her spread eagle flashes through my brain.

She's naked as the day she was born, not a stitch on her, as her fingers probe deep inside of her folds, her body convulsing as she screams out my name.

 _Come fuck me. Please Christian, I need you. I need your cock so bad._

 _Coming, baby. Fuck I'm coming._

I barely last thirty seconds into this vision before I'm shooting ropes of cum all over the shower wall, the water washing away the evidence of my orgasm.

I make my way out of the shower and into the bedroom, my towel wrapped around my waist when I see my wife sitting on the bed, her hands in her lap, her gaze cast downward.

"Good morning, Angel. How did you sleep?" I move towards her, kneeling on the bed and gripping her chin to look at me. I frown when I take in her sad gaze and her watery blue eyes meet mine. "What's wrong?"

She bites her bottom lip, her eyes avoiding mine. "You… you could have woken me." She whispers and I see a lone tear trickle down her cheek.

 _What happened? Who hurt my girl?_

"What? What are you talking about? Why are you crying?"

"I-I saw you. In the shower. I just mean.. You could have woken me. I could have taken care of that for you." She sniffles and it dawns on me.

 _She saw me masturbating in the shower. Fuck._

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. But you looked so peaceful… I just…"

"It's my job to take care of this for you. I'm sorry that I'm not."

I sit on the bed, pulling her into my lap, not caring that I'm still slightly wet and my towel is coming undone. "Angel." I whisper as I wrap her tightly in my arms. "I have to go into GEH soon and I didn't want to wake you. You haven't been sleeping well and-"

"Because _you_ haven't been sleeping well." She interrupts.

I clear my throat. "Ana-"

"No. You aren't talking to me. You aren't sharing things with me and that's what we're supposed to do! We're married now and you're shutting me out. And…" she trails off and I narrow my eyes curiously wondering what she was going to say.

"And…?"

"I know it's weighing on you that we aren't having sex, so at least let me blow you!" She pouts before pressing her face into my neck. I hear her sniffle and my whole body goes rigid hearing her cry.

"Angel, nothing is weighing on me. I'm fine."

"You're lying!"

I let out a deep breath. "The only thing that's weighing on me is that I haven't been home to spend time with you and Phoebe before you've gone to bed."

"And that you can't fuck me."

The word _fuck_ leaving my wife's lips makes me instantly hard and she must feel it because she starts to move around on my lap, her soft body still warm from sleep as she mewls like a kitten on top of me.

"Baby…"

"Let me help. Let me fix it… _please._ " She almost begs and I wonder who on Earth decided to bless me with this woman who was begging me to let her blow me.

I grab her face, making our eyes lock as I look over her precious face. "I love you, so much. You know that?" I tell her as my lips graze over her right cheek then nose then left cheek. She grips my hands, keeping my hands on her face and bites her lip.

"Then let me suck your cock." Her cheeks flush even though I know she's not even the slightest bit embarrassed. Ana and I have been together officially one year and I swear it's been the most amazing year of my life. She reaches for my towel and pulls it open revealing my cock that's hard just at the thought of Ana's lips wrapped around it. "It seems you have a _little_ bit more time." She winks, her mouth moving towards my dick when a wail pierces the air, the shrieks of my little princess resounding off the walls of our bedroom.

Ana's mouth continues to move when I grip her jaw, stopping her from coming any closer. "Baby…"

"She will be okay, we can't go right away every time."

"She might be hungry!" I didn't mean to sound so excited, but I know Ana can hear the anxiety in my voice, my mind taking me back to that dark place of my childhood.

"Christian." She narrows her eyes at me slightly.

"I would just feel better if I checked on her." I tell her and I'm off the bed wrapping my towel back around me.

I walk one room over to the nursery, Phoebe had settled down slightly but she was still awake and slightly fussy. "Hi Princess!" I pick her up cradling her to my chest and giving her a small kiss to her forehead. When Phoebe was born, Ana was still the only person that was able to touch my bare chest, and only a few people could touch me with a shirt on. I was slightly worried about how I would react to Phoebe, but the second we got home from the hospital, Ana made me take off my shirt and hold her. Now, it's not uncommon for Phoebe to take a nap on top of my naked chest. I kiss her chubby cheek and she gurgles in response. "Are you hungry?"

I look up to see Ana, standing in the doorway, leaning against it. "I swear to God, my ovaries burst every time I see you with her." She crosses the room, holding her arms out and I place Phoebe in her arms.

"Hi princess." She kisses her nose and although I don't have ovaries, my heart skips a beat watching the mother of my child and my daughter interact. She moves into her rocking chair, pulling her breast out and although it doesn't arouse me, it does something to me every time I watch her feed Phoebe.

I don't see Flynn as much since Ana has come into my life, but something tells me I owed him a visit.

I kneel next to them, watching as Phoebe sucks from Ana's breast and I trace her head softly with my index finger before I place a kiss on her forehead. "I have to go." I whisper, pressing a kiss to Ana's sweet lips. "I'll call you."

"Will you be late?"

"Maybe same time as last night?"

She pouts. "I'll try and wait up."

"You need to be sleeping, angel." She was still on winter break, so she didn't have to wake up for classes, but the second semester of her freshman year of college would be starting up soon, and she needed to get into the habit of going to bed at a reasonable hour if possible.

"I know but…"

"Sleep. I'll wake you when I get in."

"Promise?"

"Yes." I kiss her again, wishing I could blow off work and stay at home with my two favorite girls. I stand up knowing that if I kiss her a third time, I was done for. "I love you."

"Love you too." She murmurs as she turns back to Phoebe, not paying me another glance as I leave the room.

* * *

"Do you ever miss being a sub?"

Elliott's beer literally flies from his mouth, coating the bar in front of us with his Guinness and I blanch. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

I realize the reasoning behind his spit take. _Does he think I miss Elena?_ "No. No. I mean-"

"You better be real clear over what the fuck you mean, Christian. Don't make me kick your ass, because believe me I will."

I roll my eyes. "This isn't about Elena. I don't miss her. Fuck her."

"Well last time I checked, she was your last Dom. And I'm fairly certain, Ana ain't doing that as she's recovering from JUST having your baby."

"This has nothing to do with another woman, calm the fuck down, Elliott. You think I'd cheat on Ana?" The words taste like shit coming out of my mouth and I hate that he even put the words into the atmosphere. "I would never. _Ever."_

"Well then what is that about? I was under the impression that you and Ana had this ridiculous sex life. Like acrobatics routine style. Kate says Ana can bend in all these crazy ways and-"

"FOCUS!" I yell, not wanting my brother thinking about what exactly my wife can do with her flexibility. _She really could do anything. I could basically put her into any position and not hurt her. I swear we've put a heavy dent in all the Kama Sutra books._

"Well…?" He asks as the bartender puts another beer in front of him, shooting him a glare as if to say _keep it in your mouth, pal._

"There's this deal at GEH. And the CEO is being a real dick. Saying I'm not around enough. That I'm not serious. He's making me jump through a million and one hoops… I almost want to say 'fuck it', but Ros tells me this is something we don't want to pass on. And while I agree with her, this shit is costing me time with Ana and Phoebe. And I don't like that. _And_ I think it's weighing on Ana too."

"Ana knows how important your job is Christian. But anyway, what does this have to do with missing being a submissive?"

"I'm just feeling a bit restless. And don't you remember how good it felt, giving up control to someone else? Letting them make the decisions… telling you what to do?"

"I think you're confusing that with an orgasm. _That_ is the part that felt good, Christian." He snorts before he takes a sip of his beer.

"You know what I mean, Elliott. Sometimes it's nice to just not have to _think_."

"I mean I get that. You bark orders all day long, I could see wanting to be able to turn your brain off and just relax."

"And don't confuse what I'm saying, my sex life is plenty relaxing." I run a hand through my hair. "I guess it's just catching up with me that I haven't been able to fuck my wife for a month."

"Well you've done… other stuff… right?" He asks as he makes the obscene gesture of a blow job.

I roll my eyes. "Yes Elliott. Obviously." _Did he think I wasn't going to have any sexual contact at all with my wife for six weeks? I'd rather die._

"Alright well you only have like two more weeks, right?"

I groan, letting my head hit the bar. "Fuck. That literally seems like a lifetime."

"Yeah bro, that's rough."

"And then Ana caught me jacking off earlier this week and I swear it was like someone told her like her dog died or something. She looked so hurt." I still feel a stab of guilt over that. _I didn't think she'd get so upset._

"She's probably just feeling a bit insecure."

"What?" I look at him, my eyebrows almost shooting off my face. "What would Anastasia Grey have to feel insecure about?"

"Ummm that her horny as fuck husband is jacking off because he can't fuck her?"

"That's ridiculous. Yes she might be a little annoyed and she felt bad that she wasn't awake to take care of it, but she's not insecure, El."

"How do you figure?"

"Because I worship the ground she walks on!"

"And you've been back at work more the last few weeks."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you've been in that blonde supermodel factory you call an office. Why do you have so many hot women working at your office anyway?"

"What? Elliott, they aren't hot."

"Oh that's right. Blonde women are lepers. I forgot you have a brunette women only obsession."

"I don't have a brunette women obsession, Elliott. I have an Ana obsession. And don't you ever say that shit around her." I punch his shoulder hard.

He chuckles. "Fine. But, as I was saying, she's probably just feeling a little insecure about losing the baby weight, not being able to be intimate- that way with you and she's probably emotional because I don't know baby hormones? Don't women get really emotional after they have a baby?"

My mind drifts back to how often she's cried in the past few weeks. "I mean yes… but… seriously El? You think… you think she's freaking out that I- I'm cheating on her?"

"No, probably not. But I mean… how many women have made a pass at you since Phoebe was born? That press release of the three of you brought out every batshit crazy woman in America and their equally crazy ovaries." A week after Phoebe was born, we released a photo of Ana and I holding our pink bundle of joy, the elation so evident on our faces. Apparently the excitement was infectious, because by the end of the week, I had about 40 thousand pieces of mail, emails, tweets, reblogs, regrams- _whatever that shit is._

 _I had my PR and security team weed through most of it, but apparently Christian Grey with a baby was cause for literally ALL of the pornographic fan mail._ Women sent pictures of what the baby would look like if I pro-created with them. Some sent their health histories, telling me that they had perfect genes to mother my child. Some offered to be mine and Ana's surrogate. A few batshit crazy ones requested my sperm to fertilize their eggs.

I read two letters before I passed all of it off to my teams not wanting any of that trash in my head. Thankfully, it's all been kept away from Ana.

"You should see your face…" Elliott chuckles. "Seems like it might be time for you to get home, little bro." I shoot him a look. "Just talk to Ace." He says, using his nickname for her. "You know she's reasonable. Unlike you."

 _This was correct. Ana had cultivated quite a bit of a following as well. I almost lost my shit when Ana started getting her own fan mail from men._

 _Correction- I lost my shit. And it's safe to say I haven't quite found it again._ I clench my fists thinking about all of the disgusting things men said to and about my sweet, innocent wife.

 _Mine. My wife._

"Oh here we go." Elliott rolls his eyes more than likely feeling the tension radiating off of me in waves.

I'm off my stool, throwing some money down for both of our drinks. "I'll call you later." And then I'm all but sprinting out of the bar, wanting nothing more than to have Ana in my arms.

* * *

I'm flying up the stairs, moving towards the noise of my wife singing to our baby and instantly I'm calmed by her voice. I run into the nursery and I'm in awe, watching as she rocks our daughter to sleep. "My girls." I whisper and her eyes flit up and find mine, a smile instantly finding her face as if she hasn't seen me in days and not the seven hours since I left her this morning.

"Christian." She smiles and I move towards them, kneeling in front of her. "I missed you today."

"I miss you every second I'm not with you." I lean up kissing her cheek and trailing kisses down her neck. "Put Phoebe down and come." I press a kiss to Phoebe's head and stand up.

Her eyes widen, before she looks down at the sleeping form in her arms. "She's asleep."

"Then come, Anastasia." I don't mean to use my dom voice, but it comes out and my wife's eyes instantly dilate and her breathing changes.

I move out of the room, before she can get Phoebe settled and toe my shoes off. I undo my tie and slide my jacket off my arms. I hear quick footsteps and I wonder if Ana is literally running. She enters the room and stops abruptly and a chuckle leaves my lips as I notice that she's no longer wearing pants and she's pulling her top off.

"Ana, wait." I tell her, moving towards her but she gets her top off before I reach her and now she's left gloriously naked. "Oh fuck." I groan and before I can think I'm on my knees in front of her, my mouth on her stomach, tracing the evidence of childbirth on her skin. I lower my ministrations, running my tongue through her folds and she whimpers as I suck her clit into my mouth.

I'm vaguely aware that she's whispered my name above me, but I'm much more focused on the sounds that my mouth and her pussy are creating. I stand, lifting her into my arms, and letting her legs find their way over my shoulders. She squeals at first, but she knows I wouldn't let her fall for anything. I let her fall onto the bed, my mouth never leaving her pussy once. I tickle her opening with my tongue. _Fourteen days, Christian. Fourteen days till you can be inside of her. Fuck fuck fuck._ I continue to kiss her pussy as if it's her mouth, sliding my tongue between her lips every few strokes. "Fuck, I love you." She moans as her hands fly to my head and begin to pull on the hair.

"My angel." I growl against her and she moans out her response.

I spread her folds, exposing her clit to me and I watch as it pulses and my mouth waters at the sight. I lap against her, rubbing my tongue against her, feeling the beginnings of her orgasm. "Come for me baby." I command and she does. _Hard._

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my Godddddd." She chants as she clamps down, her thighs keeping my face in place. _Not that I was going any fucking where._

Ever since the baby was born, not only have her orgasms been longer but they've been _wetter._ Much wetter. I rarely left the space between her legs not covered in her arousal. _And I loved it._

And sure enough the second that the final _God_ left her lips, I was saturated in her cum.

I pull back, not being bothered to wipe my mouth as I watch her chest heaving up and down, her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth parted. "Fuck." She whispers. "That was…" when her eyes open there are tears in her eyes and I give her a sideways smile.

"That good?"

She scrambles up from her back and lunges for me, wrapping her body around mine. "Baby, let me get undressed, before you get this all over my black suit." I chuckle as I cup her pussy.

"You don't want me on you all the time?"

"I don't want anyone at GEH getting a whiff of your scent Ana. I don't want anyone _ever_."

She climbs off of me and sits on the bed, cross legged as she watches me get undressed like I'm water in the desert. As soon as my pants are down she reaches for me, and I take a step back stopping her. "Not yet."

"But…" she pouts, her lip jutting out, and her sad blue eyes staring up at me through her eyelashes. I swear between those two things she could get me to do anything. Phoebe's eyes were the exact same color as her mothers, and if she picks up Ana's habits I am _fucked._

 _Daddy, can I have ice cream?_

 _Daddy, can I stay up late?_

 _Can I have a pony?_

 _Can I have a unicorn stuffed with cotton candy?_

" _Sure, Phoebe, whatever you want."_

"We need to talk about something."

"Okay?" She says, as she pulls the blanket around her naked form, more than likely feeling vulnerable over being completely naked. I leave my boxers on and pull her into my arms, stroking her back.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I ask her and she looks up from the spot where she'd previously buried her head.

"Yes." She says softly.

"I've been doing some thinking about what you said. About not telling you things."

"What haven't you told me?" She whispers, her body suddenly rigid against me. I continue stroking her back, doing my best to soothe her.

"There's just some shit at GEH. I'm just feeling a bit of pressure over not being the present CEO I used to be."

"Because… because you're home with me and Phoebe?" Her lip trembles slightly and I instantly feel like shit. _This is exactly why I didn't tell her, I didn't want her to blame herself._

"That's nothing for you to worry about, angel."

"But that's what I'm talking about! I should be worried! You're not talking to me. You're not telling me things." She moves out of my arms and off the bed and stands up. She stamps her foot and puts her hands on her hips. "This is how marriage problems start, Christian."

I reach for her, needing her back in my arms. "Anastasia, stop it. We aren't having any problems."

"Maybe not now. But I don't want things to snowball. You have to talk to me."

"I have a handle on the issue at work. It's nothing. I promise." _Pussy._

She huffs and I think she's about to press me further when a wail rings through the air.

I let out a breath. Thank _you, Phoebe._

"This is not over, Christian." She points at me before she leaves the room to tend to our daughter.

* * *

The penthouse is quiet, the only sound being the ding of the elevator as it lets me off. It's mid-afternoon, and I'm all but running up the stairs after Ana texted me that she needed me home _now._ I wasn't sure what was wrong but it sent me running, telling both Andrea and Ros both that I didn't want to be disturbed.

"Ana?" I call out, careful not to be too loud in case Phoebe was asleep. I make my way into the nursery to see an empty bassinet and I wonder where my girls are. I expect to see my wife sitting in our bed cuddling with our baby but I don't see them there either.

 _Where are they?_

My phone pings with a text message alert and instantly I'm hard as I see a picture of the red room. _But wait… where was Phoebe?_ I'm instantly confused, but I assume she must be with Gail or possibly with Kate and Elliott if she thought we would be going at it for quite some time and didn't want to be worried about Phoebe's piercing wail interrupting the moment.

 _Going at it, but still not intercourse._

I move into my closet, grabbing my playroom jeans in record time and discarding of my suit. We are a few days shy of six weeks, so I'm trying to keep my dick from getting too excited as I doubt that he'll be buried inside of it's home anytime today.

 _But she did say the playroom?_

I run a hand through my hair, and stretch slightly, my body stiff and tense from the first half of the day that I spent at GEH. I make my way into the playroom and I'm stunned by how dark it is. The red hue that's over the room is a much deeper burgundy, the whole room practically sheathed in darkness. My eyes dart to the floor and I frown when I don't see Ana in her usual spot.

"Anastasia?" I call out for her and I hear her but I don't see her.

"Well someone's presumptuous." Her voice is even but confident and it's certainly not the voice of a submissive. _Certainly not Ana when she's in here._

"Where are you, Anastasia?"

"You're in your jeans."

"You summoned me to the playroom." I say moving through the room, my body on high alert as it knows what's coming. "Topping from the bottom, Mrs. Grey?"

"Something like that."

"Ana, I'm not amused. Come out here right now."

"So bossy for someone who's not in charge today. Turn the lights up."

I frown at her words, my eyebrows form a deep V as I shut the door behind me and turn the lights slightly brighter. My eyes almost shoot out of my head as I take in my wife seated in a chair in the center of the room playing with a riding crop. A smirk finds her lips as she puts an amber colored drink to her lips and only then do I notice the _color_ of her lips. Thick full lips hidden underneath dark maroon lipstick that makes my cock long to be between them.

Her hair is up in a neat bun, not in a braid cascading down her back. Black eye liner lines her lids and her cheeks have a slight color, making me wonder if it's the adrenaline or the alcohol. She runs her tongue over her lips once as she stands and makes her way towards me, eyeing me like I'm water in the desert. She's wearing a black corset, and a black thong that's connected by a clip on each side. On her silky smooth legs she's wearing thigh stockings and on her feet are the sexiest pair of black pumps I've ever seen in my life.

"You're not dressed for the playroom. And you're not in the corner." I raise an eyebrow. I can't get over how hot my wife looks, but I have to say this was an interesting place to reveal this get up. I would have already attacked her had we been anywhere else, and even here I'm exercising an extreme amount of restraint to keep from attacking her where she stands.

"I'm dressed just fine, thank you. You're a smart man, Grey. You haven't figured out what's happening here?"

My patience is wearing thin, I basically worked through the night last night and then went to GEH at the ass crack of dawn, I wasn't really in the mood for mind games even if Ana was in this delicious outfit. I needed to sleep or her mouth wrapped around my dick. "Anastasia-"

"Nope."

"Ana." I grit out, reaching for her when she backs up.

"I went to the doctor today."

My eyes widen. _She tells me that in here? While she's wearing that?_ "Spill it, Ana." I tell her closing the space between us, and wrapping a firm grip on her arm. "I'm not playing around. Your calendar is linked to mine and there was no Doctor's appointment on there. What's wrong? Is everything okay? And where is Phoebe?" I know I'm speaking a mile a minute but now I'm even more anxious than I was before.

She cocks her head to the side, running her hand along my jaw. "You must be so exhausted. Trying to take care of everything. Taking care of me and Phoebe. To be in charge of everything. Christian. You're so good to me, but I'm your wife, you have to share some of the weight with me."

"You share plenty, stop stalling and answer my questions." _Why the fuck was she at the doctor? She wasn't supposed to go until next week._

"Hm." She spins around giving me a delicious view of her ass and the piece of dental floss between her cheeks. She returns to the chair she'd placed in the middle of the room, crossing her legs right over left. "Phoebe is with Kate." She smiles. "Just for a few hours. They're having some girl time. Phoebe is taking a bottle just fine, and she has more than enough."

I nod. "Okay one question down. The doctor?" I move towards her when she shoots a foot out, stopping me and the feeling of that stiletto piercing my leg slightly, sends a familiar ache down to my balls.

 _Fuck._

"I'm cleared for intercourse."

"What?" I think my eyebrows probably shot off my face. "And this is how you tell me? God, I expected you to be naked and waiting for me the second I got off the elevator. Take that off." I tell her unbuttoning my jeans. _As nice as this seduction scene is, I needed to be inside of my wife this second._

"Mmmm, no. Nice try though." She smirks and only then do I see that something is leaning against the chair. She picks it up and I notice it's a riding crop. "Kneel. There. You can leave the jeans on because they make me wet. But… next time, come in here in your briefs. Preferably the grey ones. I like to see the outline of your cock." She leans against the back of her chair toying with the riding crop in her hands.

Realization finally dawns on me. _Holy. fucking. Shit._ "Elliott ratted me out?" I ask, and I can only hope that he did it tactfully and not- _beat the shit out of Christian so he feels better._

"No one ratted you out. Kate asked me if this was something we did. Now I'm guessing Elliott put her up to it. I just thought it would be fun." She shrugs. I nod and she continues. "You should have told me you were still keyed up over the problems at GEH. You should have told me that you wanted _this_ type of release."

"Ana-"

"Stop. We're going to talk about that later." She says as she stands up. "And the jacking off." She crosses her arms over her chest. "I want to own all of your orgasms, Christian. Now… _kneel."_ I have to stifle a laugh at her attempt to imitate me about owning my orgasms. I see the look in her eyes, and although she's playing the Dom persona perfectly, I see the look lying beneath.

 _She's nervous._ I smile at her, reassuring her. _You can do this baby. Thank you. I love you._

I do as she says and I kneel in her spot, my hands splayed on my thighs. My eyes are fixed on the ground and all I can see are those sexy black pumps of hers circling me as if I'm her prey. "Do you want this, Christian?"

"Yes." I tell her. _What does she want me to call her?_ "Mistress…?"

"No."

"Ma'am?"

"Nope."

"Please tell me what you'd like me to call you."

"Hmmm. How about Mrs. Grey."

"I call you that anyway." I smile to myself, knowing how much those two words turn her on in bed. _Almost as much as when she calls me 'husband'._

"I know. But it's respectful. And I like it. Also, I don't want you calling me anything you may have… used in the past."

I nod, understanding that she wants no affiliation with Elena. "Of course… _Mrs. Grey._ " I see her feet stop in front of me and if I'm not mistaken a whimper leaves her lips. The riding crop moves under my chin and lifts it slowly to meet her gaze. The look I see in her eyes is pure unadulterated lust.

"Christian." She whispers.

"Mrs. Grey." I nod.

"Do you wish to please me?"

"More than anything, Mrs. Grey."

"How?"

"However you'd like."

"Stand." I do what she says and stand, towering over her petite frame. "Kiss me."

"Where?" I ask and her eyes dance wickedly, but she shakes her head slowly.

She puckers her lips and I smile, capturing her lips with a scorching kiss, my tongue moving in and out of her mouth, rubbing against hers. She drops the riding crop and moves up into my arms, her arms wrapped around my neck as she kisses me feverishly. "I've missed you so much." She whispers against my lips, and I know what this is.

 _She's stepping out of character for a second, and I am happy to oblige._

"Fuck, Ana. Me too, baby."

"Kate will have Phoebe until six. Think you can fuck me until then?"

I vaguely remember it being around one when I got home, and I smile thinking about sinking into my wife's pussy for the next five hours.

"If it pleases you, Mrs. Grey." I tell her and she climbs out of my arms excitedly, picking up the riding crop.

"I looked up some things online…" she looks up at me. "And Kate gave me some advice."

I raise an eyebrow at her, wondering if she's about to take a page out of the Elliott Grey sub playbook. _Him and I like very different things and have very different hard limits._ But something tells me, Ana won't get there anyway.

She must take my confused expression for something else because she adds. "I won't hurt you."

"You could never hurt me."

She nods and looks down, her teeth finding her bottom lip and I follow her gaze, seeing my cock noticeably pressing against my jeans. "Need me?"

"Always." I tell her.

"I plan on making you come… multiple times." Her eyes flit up to mine. They are dancing wickedly and a smirk finds her lips. "I am going to drain your cock. Do you think you can keep up?" I nod, as the words are caught in my throat hearing her sexy words.

She drops to her knees in front of me. "Good." She pulls my jeans off, allowing my cock to jut out as I'm not wearing any underwear. She lets out a breath, almost like a whistle and I look down to see her eyeing my dick that's pointed directly at her. "God you are hot. I could stare at you all day. Step." She says as pulls my jeans from my feet, leaving me completely naked and she makes her way back to her feet. She begins to circle me, running the riding crop along my torso, my calves, my ass and then finally dragging it along my cock. I can't stop the groan that leaves my lips when I feel the leather running over every ridge of my dick. She moves behind me and swats me with the riding crop, and the bite of the crop against my ass makes my dick pulse. _Fuck I forgot how that felt. Holy shit._

"No noises." She orders me as she moves around to face me. "Undress me."

I reach up, my hands actually shaking as I begin to unbutton her corset, her breasts come into view and my mouth instantly waters, needing them in my mouth.

Phoebe had been born two days before my mouth was latched onto her breasts sucking everything she had to offer. I'd wanted to try but the second the sweet liquid that her body made hit my tongue, I needed more.

 _And more._

 _And more._

"No." Ana tells me sternly and I pout knowing what she means. "Later. If you please me. And eyes up here."

My eyes shoot away from her tits reluctantly. _Fuck I want them._ "Take off my underwear too."

I nod, kneeling down and pulling the tiny scrap of fabric down her legs. She grabs my shoulder as she steps out of them. I lick my lips as I stare at her center and I can already see the moisture forming.

 _I can smell her arousal. Fuck. Me._

"Sit." She tells me as she points at the chair that was facing the bed in the center of the room.

I move eagerly, sitting on the chair, hoping that means she's going to climb into my lap and ride me. I'm shocked when I see the familiar red rope in her hands as she ties my hands to the sides of the chair. I look down watching as she ties my hands down in the same way that I've done to her many times before, her tongue peeking between her teeth as she concentrates on her knots.

 _She's a pro. I'm so proud of her._

She seems to be pleased with her work because she looks up at me for… approval? I nod once and she smiles. She stands and walks behind me and I'm immediately on alert wonder what she's going to do when I feel her lips on the back of my neck and then her tongue tracing the trail up to the back of my ear.

I shiver just as I always do when she kisses me there. "Fuck." I moan, looking down and seeing my cock react to it as well. I pull at my restraints, wishing I could wrap my hands around my cock to relieve the ache, if Ana was hell bent on teasing me.

"What are your safewords, Christian?"

"Red to stop, Mrs. Grey. Yellow to slow down."

"Good." She moves in front of me, sitting on the bed, her legs crossed. "Christian, your hands are tied. Don't try to pull at them. I have a close personal relationship with a dom that's taught me how to tie these knots well." She smirks. "Do you know why I tied your hands?"

 _Because you hate me._ "So I can't touch you?" My voice is hoarse and my dick feels so hard that it feels like my body is actually on fire. _I need her so bad._

"That's correct. So you can't touch me... or yourself. If you try to get loose to touch either one of us, I'll spank you, understand?

I nod, even though my mind is literally racing with protest. _No. Fuck no._ If I can't touch myself or you, you better be sheathing your pussy on me within the next three seconds.

"If you last with minimal movement, i'll reward you," she tells me as she moves her fingers down her stomach, but not before grazing her nipples with her fingers. I groan and she shoots me a look. _What the fuck is she doing? If she's about to put on a show, I don't think these ropes are strong enough._

"What are-" I start and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Don't think I gave you permission to speak." My mouth snaps shut. "I'm going to touch myself. And _you're_ going to watch."

 _Well, I'm dead. This is actually what hell feels like._

"Ana...I am not going to…" I say, my mouth speaking without thinking.

"Tsk tsk." She clicks her tongue against her teeth. "You're a little rusty, aren't ya?" She smiles.

I sigh, breathing out through my nose as it's taking everything out of me not to break free and pull her the fuck over my knee.

 _I don't think you can get out of these restraints, Grey. Nice try though. Please don't break your wrists._

My mind is still going a mile a minute when it registers that she's plunged two fingers inside of herself, her thumb rubbing over her clitoris. She works her body against her own hand, my name falling from her lips. My heart begins to race and the sweat begins to pour from me.

 _Fuck. She's fingering herself and moaning my name. What did I do to deserve this?_ I note that her body is starting to shake, her pussy quivering, the only sounds are the fluids that are leaking out of her. _She's close. And I'm not close enough to her._ "Please… Mrs. Grey… I…"

"Too much?" She asks as her eyes finds mine. "Are you using your safeword?" She stops, her hand falling from her pussy and I shake my head.

 _God fuck no. But fucking touch me baby._

Her fingers find that delectable space between her thighs and she must have been closer than I thought when she stopped because within seconds she's falling over the edge, as she screams my name.

I pull at my restraints, desperate to get to her, desperate to touch my dick, _something._ I look down to see the pre cum pooling at the tip of my dick and trickling down my shaft towards my base. _What I wouldn't give for her to catch that drop with the tip of her tongue._

 _Fuck!_

She moves closer to me, sticking her two fingers towards my mouth. "Suck."

I lean forward, swirling my tongue around her fingers, sucking her clean, her sweet nectar flooding my mouth.

"Well done, Mr. Grey. I am so proud of you. You did so well."

 _Well enough to suck my dick now?_ My cock screams. I feel the familiar pulse in my cock, and I wonder if it's possible that just the visual stimulation is enough to make me come.

 _That's never fucking happened._

"Should I reward you now?"

"YES!" I yell and I see the humor in her eyes, but her mouth remains impassive.

"How would you like if I sucked that perfect dick of yours?"

"Yes, God yes. Please, Mrs. Grey. I need you."

"Quiet." She tells me as she unties my restraints and pulls me to my feet. I rub my wrists slightly, the rope having bit into my skin a little with how hard I pulled at them.

She grabs my wrists, running a kiss over the skin on both. "I told you not to pull." She tells me. "Next time, maybe you'll listen." She lowers herself to her knees parting my legs slightly. At this point, my dick is so hard it could cut glass and I find myself running through the states and capitals just to talk myself down from exploding the second I get inside of her warm mouth. She cups my balls as she runs her tongue up my shaft, catching that drop of cum that had trickled down from the tip. She moves lower till she's more underneath of me and her lips wrap around my balls, her fingers finding my perineum.

 _Don't come, Christian. Remember how this works. She hasn't given you permission._

 _Fuck permission, this is Anastasia._ My cock yells at me. _I can look at her and come… should I test that theory?_

"Would you like to use your hands?

"Yes, please. Mrs. Grey."

She looks up at me, those blue eyes almost piercing my soul as she swirls her tongue around the tip like I'm ice cream on a hot day.

 _Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I am going to explode._

"You may. Use me to make you come, Christian."

My hands automatically fly to her head, as I pump my hips into her wanting mouth. "Fuck." She slurps and sucks my cock with an urgency I know well. She deepthroats me before pulling back, her tongue rubbing along every inch of me.

"Come." She orders me. "Come now, Christian." She says with her mouth full of my dick, her words garbled but I understand perfectly. Her hands move around me, finding my cheeks and she squeezes _hard._ Her finger tip, grazing the space between my cheeks and **I lose. it.**

"FUCK." I growl as I empty my seed down her throat. I don't know how long I'm coming as I think I've blacked out. But when I open my eyes, Ana is still on her knees beneath me, looking up at me, a smile on her perfect mouth and I pull her to her feet instantly, pressing my lips to hers. She moans, and my cock jumps tasting myself on her tongue.

She pulls away and points on the bed behind me. "Lie facedown." I do as she tells me, wondering what's coming next when I feel her fingertips on my calves. They trail up my body, ghosting over my ass and my back. I shut my eyes, letting the feeling of her fingers on me, lull me into oblivion. I'm immediately on high alert when I feel her tongue following the same trail.

 _And I'm hard again._

"Turn over." I do as she tells me and for the second time I see the nervous look in her eyes.

 _You can do this baby. You're doing so well._

"I'm going to tie your hands to the bedpost. Tell me if… it's too much?" More than likely wondering how I'll fare with having no use of my hands, even if it was Ana. No one has ever ridden me with my chest completely exposed and my hands tied.

"I trust you, implicitly, Mrs. Grey."

She nods and again my hands are restrained by the familiar red rope, the restraints less tighter than they were earlier. She sits on my torso, the wetness of her pussy leaking out onto me. "I love you so much. I hope this… this was good for you?"

I smile at her, knowing she wants my approval in the same way I've wanted it from her when we first went into the playroom. "I loved this, angel. You are a natural."

"I've had a good teacher." She giggles and my cock jolts hearing the sweet sound fall from her lips. "We'll finish this later." She presses a kiss to my lips that I understand perfectly. _We would be making love later. And despite my excitement over this scene, I couldn't wait to take her in my arms and worship her._

She kisses along both of my arms, and my neck, running her lips along my chest, sucking and nibbling on my nipples. My legs aren't restrained, so I use them as leverage to lift my hips slightly, wanting to reach her, as she's hovering slightly over me.

"Uh uh uh, not yet. Don't make me tie your feet down." She grabs my dick holding it at the base and begins to rub her pussy on it, wetting the tip and the shaft with her juices. She rubs it across her clit, using it to push her closer to her orgasm and I look down in awe as I watch our arousals forming between us.

"Fuck" I mouth, the scene in front of me having me barrel closer to my climax. "Let me inside, Mrs. Grey. Please."

"Are you going to make me come?"

"Yes, God yes."

"I expect to come. _Hard._ Don't disappoint me, Christian."

"Never, Mrs. Grey. Please." She lowers herself onto my cock. "God damn." I whisper as she finds her rhythm, her body bouncing on top of my cock. Her breasts, her very suckable breasts are bouncing along with her and if I weren't restrained, I'd reach up and suck one of them into my mouth. I try to sit up anyway despite the ropes and fall back realizing that I will probably pull my arm from it's socket trying to get her nipple into my mouth.

 _Worth it, though._

Her hands reach behind her, cupping my balls again, rolling them in her palm as she slams herself down on my cock.

 _Jesus fucking Christ._

"An-Mrs. Grey, I'm going to come. I need you to get there." I grit out.

"Before me?" She frowns and purses her lips. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"I can't-"

"Control it." She growls and I widen my eyes, not having heard her use that tone with me before.

"But…"

"If you come, I'll punish you, Christian. Your choice."

 _Pretty easy choice. I can take any punishment you dole out._

She must sense that I'm willing to risk it because she adds, "I wouldn't test me, Christian. I know how to use a cock ring." She raises an eyebrow at me and I almost choke on my spit. _She knows how to use WHAT now?_

I immediately soften inside of her, my body knowing that it wants NO part of that. "That's what I thought." She smiles as she leans forward. "You think you can get me pregnant again first time out the gate?"

My eyes widen, as she speaks the words that I've jokingly said in the past few weeks. _That she was going to get pregnant the first day we were cleared to have sex. My need for her- our need for each other too great for our bodies to resist. My sperm could find her eggs like a homing pigeon._

"Easily." I tell her and she smiles, wanting it as bad as I do. "Is that what you want, Mrs. Grey? For me to shoot my seed so deep inside of you that we make another baby?"

She whimpers in my arms, her hands finding my chest as she starts fucking me faster. Her fingernails dig into my chest and I groan feeling the pain coupled with the pleasure of having her sheathed around my cock.

"Ana." I groan and she must be too far gone because she doesn't correct me.

"I'm so close, fuck Christian. Get me there."

 _I could if you'd fucking release me._ Rarely did Ana come without any other stimulation, but I was determined to make her come using only my cock.

She squeezes her eyes shut and I'm sure she's about to cum. "Ana, come on Angel. Come for me." Her eyes fly open, hearing my pet name for her, and I should have known that would have been her trigger word, because she comes. _Hard._ "Oh fuck. There it is. Come all over my cock, baby." She lifts off of me, just as her orgasm starts and I frown wondering why she stopped before she was all the way over when moves up my body to straddle my face. "Finish."

"Lower." I demand. _Fucking finally. I've been dying for a taste of her._

She faces away from me, lowering her pussy, that's clenching and unclenching above me. I swirl my tongue around her, my tongue finding her clit instantly. "Lean forward, angel." She does as she's told and I wince remembering I'm supposed to be a submissive and here _I_ was topping from the bottom.

But the way she's pushing back against my face I don't think she minds too much. Her fingers dig into my thighs and I wonder how many places I'll have marks from her nails. _I loved when she marked me._

Within seconds, her orgasm returns even harder than before, and she drenches my face with her juices, her climax squirting all over me. "Fuck, Christian. Your mouth. So… good." She shudders above me and moves off of my face, falling to the space next to me, underneath my armpit, as I'm still tied to the bedposts. I watch as her chest heaves up and down, a thick layer of sweat coating her skin.

She looks over at me, lust clouding her eyes as she bites her bottom lip. "You are so perfect." I tell her. She straddles me, to untie my wrists, and the second they are both free I grab her body, pulling her underneath me and burying my face in her neck. "I love you so much. You're incredible, Mrs. Grey."

"Ana." She tells me. "Although you called me that a few times at the end." I pull back to look down at her and she's narrows her eyes scoldingly.

"I'm sorry. As you mentioned, I'm a bit… out of practice."

"Well, I can train you." She smirks and my cock jerks at the thought. "Should we get you a collar? One to match mine?"

I've never been collared before and I never thought I would have a positive reaction to it.

 _But this was Ana we were talking about._

I press a kiss on her lips, letting my cock slip inside of her again. She moans in response, and I move down her body, pulling her nipple between my teeth and biting gently. "I want to know more about where you learned to use a cock ring, Anastasia Grey…"

* * *

 **As you know I rarely write BDSM, and I've never done one with CG as a sub. Not sure how I felt about it. Lol, he kept fighting me! Haha. Well I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse into an old A &C!**

 **PS: I recently started a newsletter, so if you are** _ **not**_ **on facebook or don't want to follow me there, you can still stay up to date with everything! FF is anti links, so PM me and I will send you the sign up link there!**


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